Through the eyes of a writer and traveler ๐! Life and some spiritual musings. |
Welcome Y'all ๐ค . I'm into animal rescue and rights. Positive vibes and activism! ๐ป๐ It's been interesting for the past 20 years. Good folks on here and a great ๐ writing community. It's time for rethinking my writing and growing as a person . Sharing how to help others and ourselves ๐ has always been my motivation! Hugs ๐ค to new and old peeps! " The journey of 10,000 miles Begins with one step ๐ช. --Lao Tzu What you don't like Don't do to another. Rabbi Hillel Do unto others as you would have someone Do unto you. Jesus ๐ |
Well last post was honest but it doesn't matter. People don't want to know if you have problems. Today I was going through it badly over seeing the truth that people don't like me. Sis said " You should have known decades ago that people are like that and how can you not know those people weren't your friends or family." I'm really hurting right now but will have to figure out how to deal with it. I'm trying to figure out how to keep my portfolio going after I die. The problem is there's no one right now that I can ask to contact SM and provide a death certificate when the time comes. It's crazy I've done so much good for people all my life and yet ( besides a couple of friends that I can count on but not for this) My grown children are pathetic and after the phone calls this week I'm still reeling. One called after five years to know what to do, since my other one showed up at her house. She was afraid she might die on her couch. We told her call an ambulance. And told her how we were trying to help her these past few years, while she was in prison. Sending her books and paying to text her and doing everything to help her get on her feet. She was doing better on medication but as soon as she gets out, stopped taking it and would rather be homeless than have to " follow the rules at the shelter that was helping her get a job and life together. She left her son in another state and we've been in touch all these years. If someone didn't adopt him we were going to drive from Oregon to get him when he turned 18 and aged out from the foster system a few years ago. He's doing great and has been working for over a year at the same place. He does work on video games and even with his Asperger's has become a miracle over the years. It's all in God's hands. If I was younger and had better health, I'd maybe join a Convent like I wanted to ask a child. I'm fighting depression and wondering if my writing is worth saving. |
Hi y'all ๐๐ค ! Been wanting to make it back here sooner but life has become MORE of a continuous struggle, since Cheryl's sight isn't improving with the eye injections... Her driving has become limited and since I can't drive our lives have become very limited... The main reason we can't stay here " forever" is no transportation. Uber is about $40 to Walmart and back. $20 round trip to the small supermarket Rameys or Walgreens. Once driving cross-country was no big deal. Either by car or driving a U-Haul truck ๐! For us as Seniors it's not possible now. We are saving to move,yet 2 low fixed income's don't leave much after rent,Elec, food,car insurance and basic necessities. Dear Lord,Holy Mother and all that is good. I wrote this in my notebook ๐ journal as I have many times over the years. My prayers ๐๐ and asking for guidance with them. I'm pouring my heart and spirit into this letter ๐. We have learned not to depend on others much the past 40 years. We figure them out and help make it happen. Years ago we were responsible for Children and later raising grandkids some with special needs. We did all we could to love,teach and encourage each one. We worked and keep the house cleaned and did many things together like going to the beach, amusement park, aquariums. Some are in Oregon and not able to help much. Some have passed away or not in touch. I will have to figure out a GoFundMe even though it will be mainly strangers we ask for help to achieve our goals. To live on a bus line to be self-sufficient and enjoy whatever time we have left! To be able to get to a store or park without much or any driving. That would be a big blessing and take away a lot of the stress we are facing now. And praying ๐บ๐ we can keep our 2 rescue ๐ kitty's Maxy and Mojo. Sister's we have for the last 3 years, since they were 7 weeks old and are indoor cats. It's expensive to move and have to stay at a motel for maybe a month, while looking for a rental house. We are able to get a Housing Choice voucher and have about a month to find a place or we lose it... This (was) is in my journal notebook I started in March. It's August and usually a book would last a month or so. I don't write โ๏ธ so much anymore.its hard to not write about going places and doing things like gardening like in the past ( and hopefully in the future ๐๐!) We don't go out much. We get medical rides but that's it.Thankful yet too far to walk to anything more than one Dollar store. States like Mississippi here are limited in rural areas, like we are for things like transportation or access to basic services. I have yet to figure out all the exact amounts of all this move will need. A month at a motel is at least $2000. Not to mention moving our things, the cats, the car. The move-in deposits, and Electric, internet deposits.a Broom and toilet paper! We've been calling different moving companies for quotes as well as U-Haul ( no way ) Pods and other places. So far we may have to move to a town in Mississippi about 300 miles away up north. They have a bus system and are closer than Roanoke Virginia or other places we considered. I'm praying you will help and guide ๐ฆฎ us through all of this. Thanks and Amen ๐. After I wrote the above I thought about sharing it with others on social media and taking a chance to share with others what's going on. Some folks may be able to help and at least get in touch and add prayers or suggestions. I shared this with my sister Cheryl. She agreed I've nothing to lose by trying. And maybe a miracle will happen! Thanks for your time ๐. And caring! |
Hi y'all ๐ค ๐, well it's been a couple of weeks since doing my blog or writing in a creative way, except for taking some notes in my journal notebook ๐ and hoping to get back here but not sure when it would be! Today I felt better and it gave me hope that it will be okay. I've been praying ๐ a lot and signed up for the daily Bible verse's. There was a time when I started my day, with reading a Psalm and Proverbs. I've gone through so much spiritually over the years. For the past 10 years have been learning about Torah and my Jewish roots. It's come full circle because my faith is stronger now back to Jesus and the Saints, that I never really left behind. I went back to doing Weekly goals, before coming here and I will include what I wrote for my future plans and how to keep on top ๐ฉ of it ๐! I'll paste here and comment after it! One of my favorite quotes is: The journey of 10,000 miles begins with one step ๐ช. -- Lao Tzu I've been gone from making goals for a few weeks. I needed to take care of my health and make some decisions in my life. I also needed to make a formula to follow, so I can move forward โฉ ๐! These are the four main bases to cover ๐. 1- my spiritual life. Spending time with the Bible verses and applying them to my life. Also to visit the TLC Prayer Parlor and the community! 2- Health maintenance. On-going and have an appointment this month with a new digestive clinic. 3- Ongoing research and plan for our move, and to make and maintain our GoFundMe page. 4- my writing life here! To work with my goals here and see the ( hopefully) progress I've made by Friday ๐ฑ! Blogging again, and get at least one review done ๐ โ to start. Long-range goals are: to continue updating my Bios and group information. To edit and add to the item's here that needs it! It's going to be a "PRN" take-as-needed situation. Wanting to add playing my guitar and harmonica. And finally doing a bit of ballet ๐ฉฐ to improve my body and mind ๐! Whew, one day at a time Lord! Blessings ๐ to y'all ๐ค . ๐ธ๐๐ So with all the volcanoes and earthquakes ๐ซจ happening, it's scary how much the world is in turmoil. Not to mention the War's and the poor starving kids and people of Gaza... So much wrong in our world ๐ญ ๐. I'm thankful for all that is right and good ๐. For people who help others ๐ฑ and animals and do their best every day to bring good and kindness โค๏ธ ๐. We were trying to decide where to move to. So many pros and cons . Roanoke Virginia is too far away and will cost more than we can afford. We also have Maxy and Mojo the kitties to consider. Pensacola FL has a lot of biting insects and not a place to have a garden. She found a place in Mississippi that has a bus line and is smaller. It's a University town and has community there. It's Starkville and the more we find out the more it seems to be the final move for us. We need to go before she's not able to drive anymore... We are hoping to pull it off by next year by the grace of God G-d. I'm going to make a GoFundMe to help us be able to afford this. We are saving all we can too. We hope to find a rental house with a space for a small garden and fence, so the cat's can go outside and enjoy grass and maybe a tree to scratch ๐! Right now I have to cut their nails, because sis can't make it to the groomers. The light has to be a certain way but she's doing fine. There's a low vision Dr and he may be able to make glasses to help her read a book again. Is still getting the eye injections but her vision isn't improving. I'm thankful to be able to eat again and she's a great cook. Looking forward to seeing y'all again ๐. Blessings ๐ Thanks for having us! |
Hi y'all ๐ค ๐ it's been a crazy 8 days since I wrote and didn't even write โ๏ธ half about what's happening. This month started strangely and the hits keep coming! I had to look up in my appointment book, when we started noticing the beginning of it. In June,we heard a big boom ๐ฅ, sis said " it sounds like something hit the transformer." We both went outside to look but didn't see anything. A lady was walking her dogs and didn't seem to notice anything but her phone and dogs ๐ถ. We went back inside ๐ and that seemed to be the end of it. Lately, our electricity has been going out for a few seconds and I reset the stove clock (From 12:00 it's digital) our coffee maker is too but it's not affected. July first I was writing an email to an old friend ( a Jesuit Priest) I was sitting on my bed ( which is like my room, decorated in Hello Kitty!๐). Anyway I heard a very loud deep crash of thunder โ๏ธ โก and turned my head towards the window. I saw the biggest fattest streak of lightning outside,hit the park ground. It was so close, I wondered if it started a fire. ( It didn't but the ground has been very dry and it's been awful hot most of the month. The sound work my sister who was taking a nap on the couch downstairs and she yelled loudly. I didn't think about it until today's strangeness... It's been very hot in Mississippi,as well as most of the country. In the middle of the state it was 114 so probably felt like 125 with the heat index. We left the house about 9:30 to do laundry. It was in the 80s'. The AC has been out at the Laundromat all month ๐ ugh. It was really hot in there today. We were both getting our clothes out of the dryer and we were burning our hands, grabbing the clothes and stuff out. The glass and metal door,hit my shoulder and that hurt,it was so hot. We stuffed out laundry into the baskets and threw them into sheets, so we could fold at home ๐! ๐ฅ Whew. Later we were trying to watch something on YouTube ( We saw an amazing concert from 2024 last night. It was The Eagles and they can still play and kick butt! We saw them in San Francisco in the 70s , volunteering for The Haight Asbury free clinic as Medics. They are still amazing ๐ถ๐!) Well the power was going on and off and I called the Electric company ( after Speaking with our next door neighbor and the manager. Found out the Breakers were being replaced, and it took over 3 hours to do it. We were sitting on our side of the couches and suddenly a wave passed through us 3 times and it caused the TV to flicker at the same time. It was very strange and made us think of the many other times, weird things had happened. UFO's we've seen. Missing time incidents. Things I tried to forget about. Each time it happens, over the years a big change happened. We moved to another state unexpectedly. Even thinking about it, gives me pause to wonder,if I should even be writing about them. Damn there were so many... Today it creeped out both of us, it happened to us at the same time and 3 times. I'm hoping maybe someone out there has been through the same or similar situation. This week we decided not to move to Pensacola. We are going to Virginia in time instead. We are hoping for a little house rental with a yard and fencing! There's mountains there and a lot of nature ๐โ๐ซ! We are starved for it. Of course we'll have to either hit a winning lottery ticket or have more to save. Getting there with the kitties and us will take more planning. Staying at an extended stay so they can be with us โค๏ธ ๐. I'm hoping to get back here and start Weekly goals again and Blog more. My ulcers seem to be healing and feel better and more normal these days ๐ ๐น ๐! Any input is greatly appreciated โบ๏ธ! And yes emojis ๐บ definitely rock and count!!! ๐คฃ ๐ Till next time Blessings to you. |
Thinking of that Led Zeppelin song,as I started writing this! Dazed and confused ๐ค ๐ถ. I'm pretty blue ๐ today y'all. It's easier to find someone to cheer up, then ask for support for myself This place is for us to come together and be there for each other. I haven't been here a month yet but slowly connecting to other people trying to survive and thrive ๐ป๐ธ! I've been on many other sites over the past 20-plus years. The longest has been on a writing site I belong to, for 19 or so years. My plan has been to look over the stories, poems, blogs and everything but the kitchen sink (!) and keep the best. To finish or edit as needed! All that sounds good and well but health problems keep those things from being done... Somedays I feel like " what's the point? I may always have sick mornings and days." " Why bother? easier to give up". I'll probably copy this into my current blog. My friends have been supportive as they can be. Just because one has faith ๐ it doesn't mean they won't suffer. Sometimes they are tested more than others it seems to me! It's hard when your dealing with depression on top of everything and others who don't have it, can't understand why your " making such a big deal" out of it. For the past 10 years or so, I've been dealing with a spine,that has lost part of the cushions between them and can't be fixed. The pain is insane sometimes but all can be done is pain medicine. I used to take Ballet classes and it helped some a few years ago. I'm trying to get back into it again but it's been a few months since. I had to deal with ulcers for the last year and a half. The care received wasn't good and going to see another person next month. Either it can be fixed or I have to live with this "forever". Or whatever time there is! For years I was on the go! Raising kids later grandkids. Worked and did a lot to teach and help others over the years. As crappy as I felt today, was trying to be patient and positive. It also affects my sis who lives here. Today she needed a 6-pack to deal with me being sick again. Even though she says " don't feel guilty, it's not your fault" Her vision is low and makes it harder to drive in certain light conditions and keeping her from reading or sewing ๐งต๐ชก. I'm used to fixing things and situations. Bringing light ๐ฏ๏ธ to dark times with hope and faith ๐. It's a hot sunny day but too hot out and bright to go anywhere. It's too hard for her to get to where the kitty's nail lady moved. So if anyone knows of a good nail clippers for kitties with a light, not too spendy, please let me know! Thanks for reading if you made it this far! My dear grandson turned 15 yesterday ๐ Happy we all connected on the phone. Dd |
Hi y'all, I thought I was ok, but not so I'm hoping not to have to wait till October to be seen. It's like reruns of last year. It took that long for the first appointment. I was so sure the worst was behind and was excited about getting more involved here and getting old projects started again. The best laid plans do offen go a stray as they said... Not sure how to deal with all of this. It's too much uncertainty. Will I get better? Will it stay the same and this is my new normal? It's a lot for us both to deal with. I keep digging in and looking at options. Giant mowers outside and can't hear myself thinking ๐ค! I'm skipping weekly goals this week. Great news that WDC will be celebrating 25 years birthday and will have huge celebrations! If I'm not back, will be in time. Didn't expect things to fall apart health-wise ๐ฆ. Please send prayers or good vibes ๐. Say hey ๐ too if ya like. I'm hanging in as best as possible. We both are. Blessings |
About 6 hours ago I wrote this: "So how's by you dear-ee? Hi y'all ๐๐ค ! I'm sitting in the car having a cig,as the laundry ๐งบ gets washed. The AC is out at the Laundromat and it's in the 90s whew ๐ฅ! Going to take it home to fold today. Later today I will write โ๏ธ more about this week and try to post it. Hot ๐ฅ off the press! Loud thunder and huge lightning โกโ๏ธ on Tuesday, after big shop at Walmart." Yeah ๐น it's been a crazy nutty week with ups and downs ๐ข! Ok so on Tuesday we went early ( 9 AM) and used our Humana cards โฆ๏ธ at Walmart. It's like the only place to use them ( Now that Aldi's is opening a second store and Winn-Dixie went out of business in Ocean ๐ชธ Springs about 10 miles from home.) We knew a storm was on the way but made it home safely and unloaded the groceries. An hour later or so Sis was taking a nap on the couch and I was upstairs trying to get my writing organized. I started to write โ๏ธ an email to another old friend of mine Brother "K" a Cool Jesuit Priest. He's also related to my Good friend Mabs ๐ฉท๐๐ชป! I needed some Spiritual counseling and one one-on-one friendship in real time! It's a solitary action to be a writer. You have to think ๐ค of ideas ๐ก and find a way to tell someone what your vision is. You have to read it and edit so you make yourself clear! It takes time,concentration and energy . So I'm typing and all of a sudden I heard a super loud ๐ข roar of thunder. It sounded like a truck hit the building. I turned my head left towards the window ๐ช and saw the biggest fattest streak of lightning โกโ๏ธ hit the ground outside. I jumped up thinking " I'd better unplug the TV" and heard sis yell loudly from downstairs. As I ran down the steps figured the thunder woke her out of a dead sleep. She was shocked out of her sleep. I was right ๐. It was the loudest boom we heard,it sounded like it hit a transformer. When we first moved to the south,we were living in Georgia for 9 years. We had lightning hit our house/Apt twice and it blew out our TV, stereo, washer and more like my Boom box. We had to replace everything and learned what lighting can do. This time nothing got ruined thank goodness! Wednesday I saw my " Dr" Nurse practitioner and great news, I put on 2 lbs my BP was normal, so can continue not taking the BP med! Less ๐ pills make me happy ๐๐ธ๐! We watched some pretty good old ๐ฝ๏ธ๐ฅ films this week. Lured 1947 with Lucille Ball a pretty good mystery/ thriller and good cast, including Boris Karloff! Another Man's Poison 1951 With my all-time favorite Miss Betty Davis!๐๐ฉท A great actress for the plot of this story! ๐ About a mystery writer who becomes part of a real-life mystery and the range of her emotions is way impressive ๐! So I'm taking my bookmarks out of my color notes ๐ถ app, and putting them into a Google doc. Organized into categories like Music ๐ต for links of the Beatles and Prince ๐ผ. While I was sick and too tired to get things I wanted to share in group s here,it made sense to hold on to them for when they could be helpful. I have to clean ๐ซง the kitchen in a few. It's better to do it last thing at night before I go upstairs and settle into my bed. I play Farmville 3 and different Solitaire games and earn gift cards on Mistplay. Have been doing it for a few years and nice to get Tara Incense or Estee Lauder sample gifts! This week Uranus is going into the sign of Gemini โ and expect to feel a bunch of changes coming! Can be positive or not. I will be looking into it with Sis and will share some info this week. We used to check out Mark Lerner from Eugene Oregon for years but he's gotten too technical and expensive! I get emails from Jaime Wright and looking into something new! So have a blessed week ๐ ๐ธ people and sending prayers and hugs ๐ค ๐น to y'all! |
Hi y'all ๐๐ค the ride to the Eye injection appointment will be here at 6:30 AM tomorrow! I'm getting up at four to make sure I have time for meds, clean litter box and everything else! I may have figured out more ๐ to get myself well this morning. I've been sleeping on a wedge pillow since January and I think it's making me nauseous when I wake up . Also it puts more pressure on my spine and not good. I finished my contest entry and going to enter after all . Glad to be connected but also feel lonely today. I haven't been able to reach out as much. Glad for those that say hey ๐ to me in their own way with what they have going on. I miss my buddy and thankful he helped me find my faith again. Praying he and everyone ๐ who needs prayers feel mine today. Speak ๐ soon y'all โฏ๏ธ๐ป๐ถ๐๐ป๐ฅณ๐ |