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426
426
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)


Review of Seduction in the Snow

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Your poem brought a smile and then a chuckle. I could imagine just the things you mentioned.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Two people in the nude lying in a snowdrift. I can see it now. It is quite vivid in my mind.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Next time bring a blanklet.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. I enjoyed this poem.


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427
427
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Review of Death of A Thousand Cuts

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short direct poem about loving and having it and losing it.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

More information would make it easier to completely understand.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep sharing your thoughts and writing.


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428
428
Review of Beyond the Door  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Beyond the Door

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A person entering a space and trying to describe and explain it.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The space seems very clinical to me. Like some kind of hospital.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font.
form tth - from the
saw - see

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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429
429
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Rose Colored Vision

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Being in love is seeing the world through rose coloured glasses. These ten lines all depict the best of romance and love.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

We appreciate your thoughts.


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430
430
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of We Believe Words Arrive

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This is a great poem about how writing occurs at some times. While sometimes we have to labour over the words to weave together to finish our writing the writer of this piece acknowledges that sometimes the words just come together.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Writing is indeed magic. I do believe that God allows that magic to flow through the minds of writers. Not something they deserve but a gift. However I believe that magic however requires all our possible efforts to make it better and correct.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Good thoughts.




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431
431
Review of Tornado  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Review of Tornado

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Great descriptive passage, I almost felt I was right there feeling the wind in my face. I notice you use spinning ( very appropriate) several times.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The story is the storm and how it deals with the world. Well done.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

You painted great pictures.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Write more.


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432
432
Review of Day 3- Tom Lehrer  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)


Review of Day 3 Tom Lehrer

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This is simply a commerical for the music of Tom Lehrer.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

It seems that Tom Lehrer is a very comedian.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

More information on this gentleman would be beneficial.


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433
433
Review of Heartburn  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


Review of Heartburn

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Those who feel they are unlovable need to be told they love in other simple ways. I guess warning some one that the coffee is hot is one way of expressing love.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

People in love playing a game and biding their time to her the sentiment get expressed.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Perhaps a larger font.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done.


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434
434
Review of The sorrow  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Review of The Sorrow

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I am not sure what sorrow you are speaking about but I have experienced similiar experienced standing as a silent senintal beside a grave.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Your character is well defined. While a short piece of work I found it very moving.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font for all the older people.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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435
435
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of The Library - A Short Story

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A story about a young man who goes to the library but gets seduced to a life of drugs by a girl he meets there.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

We get a short description of what our unnamed male character but not strong enough. The description of Jen is even more limited. I guess as limited as her clothes. Her purpose in selecting this person seems to be missing from the story.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

in second paragraph quite should be quiet

Her cat was fluffy, gray and white, and softer than down.

She stood me in the middle of her room - should say Jen stood me. I wondered how the cat did that.


FINAL THOUGHTS:

I feel it is good outline but it seems incomplete. There is a big unanswered why.


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436
436
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of The Soul is a Banana

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting comparison. The soul of man is compared to the banana. The soft white interior is protected the flexible outer skin. Bruising is however quite easy. I think it is a good comparison.


SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more this is an interesting thought.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done. You got me to think.


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437
437
Review of Second Sun  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Second Sun

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

War is hell. This is the story of how the fires of hell were unleashed on the world. This was before my time and I have spent much of my life doing what I could hoping it would never happen again.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A terrible time in the history of mankind. I guess war brings out the worst in all of us.


FINAL THOUGHTS:

let us never forget these events.


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438
438
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Truth and Military Ads

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Of course an ad is going to paint a glowing picture. who would respond to an advertisement which showed the complete truth of the grit and grime of military service. It is a dirty job. however someone has to do it and I would prefer volunteers rather than people conscripted to serve.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Having spent my time in the military I realize it is not for everyone. I had good times. I also times that still make me wake with cold sweats. I can see faces of the dead. Some were good friends.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

i guess you have to take the ads with a grain of salt.


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439
439
Review of Oh! Beautiful  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Oh Beautiful

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem of unreturned love. Four simple four line verses that cry out with hope for love from the reader.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The writer is hoping for something to happen in his favour.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

write more. It has been a while since you posted

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The main reason for this review is to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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440
440
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of This is Not to Say

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

You have captured a concern for the other in three simple verses. Trying to be unassuming is difficult.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font. How you display your text affects the reader's perception.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I did this review to remind you we are here and wish you a happy WDC anniversary.


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441
441
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.0)


Review of Stories, Stories, Stories

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A very simple story. I don't think the content with the killing makes it suitable for Children's stories. It needs some work to have a basis of a good story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Two characters. A boy and his dog. There is not enough detail either in the characters or the plot.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more and use a larger font.x

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Take you story and start again adding more detail.


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442
442
Review of Looking Inwards  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Looking Inwards

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Some people travel because they want to. In the service we travel to some places we do not want to go to. Sometimes we live in unlovely places. Sometimes those places are also unfriendly. We should honor those who go.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Not all service personnel give thier lives in death. Sometimes it is not dying for one's country but just living for it.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

It brings some posting to mind.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please have a great WDC anniversary.


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443
443
Review of Wasted Paper  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Wasted Paper

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A good description of the feeling one has when an ex persists in running one down.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Deep feelings and anger.


FINAL THOUGHTS:

The real purpose of this review is to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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444
444
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of The Turkey is Done

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This poem says it all. I would hate to be on the receiving end of such a concise tirade of emotion and firmness.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

It's a good story as well as a good poem. For presentation I would increase the font and perhaps centre the lines.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The real purpose of this review is to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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445
445
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Past the Whispering Willows

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Thank you for this poem. I could hear and almost feel the horse cantering onward as I read the poem.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The repeative lines are wonderful. There is a real feeling of a horseman and his steed coming across the fields.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The real purpose of this review is to wish you a great WDC anniversary. I enjoyed the poem.


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446
446
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of The Interesting Creature

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A very short poem about a day. As time flies so does this review.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The real purpose of this review is to take a moment to wish a great WDC anniversary.


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447
447
Review of Fallen  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



Review of Fallen

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short poem about falling in love.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A good poem but the lines are a little abrupt and it does not flow well.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Heels instead of heals.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please come back and write more on writing.com Have a happy anniversary.


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448
448
Review of For You People  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of For You People

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The re-occurring phrase got to be a little irritating after about twenty lines. I did notice you changed the phrase for the last line. Perhaps if you altered it part of the away through the poem it might have been more effective.


SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

As usual I find your work to cause me to think. That is important for me.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I know I don't have to ask you but Keep writing.


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449
449
Review of 13th of Friday  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of 13th of Friday

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The 13th of Friday. I think this is a poor title. Seems like is a retelling of some of the poorer scare movies recently produced.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Since the plot is thin spend more time with the development of the characters.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

You need to review the rules of capitalization. Spacing and a larger font would make this story easier to read. Look at a page in a printed book and try to make your story appear similiar.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This is a good start.


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450
450
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Beauty as we know it.

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A valid premise. Beauty is not everything and perhaps not be much in reality.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Use a larger font and re-read you sentences.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

instead of outer use outside
how beautiful you're should be you are (happened twice

You need to reread what you have written and you will pick up many your flaws.




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