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376
376
Review of Bad Tires  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*




Review of Bad Tires

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

The beginning of the story sounds like someone is about to be hung. This is a fact but with a twist.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Miranda is the person in control. A tire has failed to maintain pressure so it must be hung.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I am sure the children with enjoy it as a swing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The objective for this review is to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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377
377
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*





Review of Late Night Memories

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A very emotional story poem. Lovers who tragically fought with their own minds to exist in this world. It is tearful story.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

youth opens to many things. Some are good and yet some are scary. Dual suicide pacts. One successful the other not but the one remaining scarred in many ways.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Share more.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I hope you have a great WDC anniversary.


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378
378
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


Review of The Writing Contest

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

So do you have these feeling of inadequacy every day of only when you log in to Writing.com? Sounds like you are the perfect fit for our group. Believe it or not you don't have to know what happens to Donna. Just start putting down words and they will open your mind. It might not be great writing the first attempt. But as you try and post your work, other will review and open more ideas to your mind. I enjoyed your little essay so I have started a story and Donna who is going to save the world by pushing that green button with her bleeding hand.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

There is Donna and them damn green button again.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Thank you for the ten steps.


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379
379
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



Review of Raindrops on the Glass

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Rain against a window pane creates many feeling the produces an abundance of images. water droplets splattering against glass provide the writer with so many plots and visions.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

It can be horror. It can be romantic. It can tell of loss or even love found. The write of this piece offers only a few but tantalizes the mind even still.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

More. With maybe a larger font.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The purpose for this review is to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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380
380
Review of Innocent Mistake  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*






Review of Innocent Mistake

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Well a kiss is always appreciated. Not knowing the password for this group of pioneers the woman gives the man wanting the password a kiss. This brings amusement to the group and a smile to the man kissed.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

An interesting tale of the earl days of expansion across the United States. The characters are well presented and amusing.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

The idea brought a smile to my face.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

This review was written mainly to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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381
381
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)


Review of Home is Where the Heart Is

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A complex romance story which spans several decades. starting as a high school crush the story gets involved with deceit and lies and ends with teen pregnancy. this causes the characters to separate for several years.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The plot is a little tangled and seems to have a lot of information that does not particularly aid the story. The relationship between carol and john is the hub of the story and the other interaction merely helps to develop that story.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I prefer my stories to be more direct and I found the ending seemed to go on for too long.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Get to the point. Keep writing and developing your story.


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382
382
Review of Dixie  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Review of Dixie

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A story of a mother and daughter relationship which develops between a foster child and a social worker. There is no other bond than friendship.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Dixie is the social worker who befriended this woman when she was fourteen years old. She in a sense became the mother that she never had.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A very moving story.


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383
383
Review of Kaden's Lullaby  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)


Review of Kaden's Lullaby

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A simple twelve line poem as a lullabye. Composed of six rhyming couplets.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A grandmother's opportunity to share her feeling for her first grandchild.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more and share it with all of us.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

this is a good little song.


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384
384
Review of Maggie  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



Review of Maggie

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem about hurt and pain that overcomes a loved one. I may be reading too much into this piece but that is the feeling I get.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

there is much feeling in the words of this poem.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep writing and sharing your work with us.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I want to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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385
385
Review of "His camouflage."  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of His Camouflage

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Not being noticed is different that using camouflage but essentially works out the same.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Is the purpose not noticed on purpose? Sounds like a difficult relationship.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Keep writing and sharing your work.


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386
386
Review of Another Storm  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Review of Another Storm

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A look at storms and how we relate them through our ages.. I identify with much of what was written.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

How we see storms is much because of the way we feel.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more.


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387
387
Review of Angeline Jolie  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of Angeline Jolie

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I read this thinking there would be some erotica in this story. Perhaps it should be reclassified because it is merely a political or economical treatise.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Angeline and Donald and the concern about the USA sending money abroad. If you feel this way you should develop this further. this is little better that the National Enquirer.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I applaud your efforts to make your point.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

None.


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388
388
Review of School's Out  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)


Review of School's Out

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Adults busy with school girl role play. The story is well told and was a very enjoyable read. The first section with the oyster fooled me completely.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

two lovers having a picnic on the beach are enjoying each other and begin to engage in role play that she is a naughty school girl.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. this is an old piece.


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389
389
Review of A Letter Home  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)


Review of A Letter Home

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A cute little letter from a young girl away at summer camp.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

written in seven four line stanzas with a rhyming scheme of A B C B

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Interesting and I enjoyed the idea of Christmas in July.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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390
390
Review of Vigilance  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)



Review of Vigilance

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

As a retired vet i know the feeling that stand behind your story. I appreciate you writing it. Standing on guard in wartime is dangerous. Standing guard in peacetime can be very boring but it is important. Remembering the coat of standing on guard can be difficult in good times and weather. Remembering in the foul weather is also important.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Well written.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Use a larger font. some of us older guys don't see as well anymore.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Please keep sharing.


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391
391
Review of Livdecar  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Livdecar

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

It is strange how driver examiners don't seem to have mush of a sense of humour.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The driver and the examiner and it seems neither is smiling.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Great little poem.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing.


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392
392
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Dust is Hiding Under There

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Another poem that depicts the difference in the sexes. She doesn't have to see the dust because she knows it is there. He doesn't care about it but it is causing her great pain knowing the dust is there.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The comparison between man and woman is interesting and certainly made me smile.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Write more like this.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I hope you enjoyed your WDC anniversary.


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393
393
Review of Silicon ticket  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Silicon Ticket

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A robot is charged with some driving infractions. The court room discussion is interesting.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The robot called Ben and Judge Aaron Goldberg are the main characters and their interaction is interesting and humourous.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

"Alright, Miss Lang you may the people’s case" you should have written "may present the people's case"

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I wish to thank you for your writing and I want you to enjoy your WDC Aniversary.


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394
394
Review of The Other Side  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)


Review of The Other Side

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

You set up a very grim scenario. As the children age I suppose they now have all the skills.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Seems like there is just too much compartmentalizing.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Does not seem to be a place I would like to live in.


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395
395
Review of Christelica  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)


Review of Christelica

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

So this new word is both a noun and a verb. There are five statements that are used to define this word. The definitions are quite varied.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

This person has a strong impression of his two daughters.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

an interesting concept.


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396
396
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Dialogue

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This exercise in dialogue only contains 18 words of dialogue. too much emphasis is put on the actions of the speakers rather than the words.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

It seems it is a stressful meeting but that is not indicated by the dialogue.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Try to writ it again with more actual dialogue.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The reason for this review is to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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397
397
Review of Starlit Sky  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of Starlit Sky

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

An interesting poem about a young person looking up at the starlit skies and sharing the memories and teaching about the stars with a younger person.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The stars have been there well before any of us. It is somehow comforting that they will be there throughout our lives.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The reason for this review mostly ias to wish you a great WDC anniversary.


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398
398
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)


Review of Upon My Bleeding Horse

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I have read and re-read this poem and still find difficulty understanding the meaning. I did note that there seems to a strange haunting or movement to some darkness.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I like most of your poems but unfortunately I am having difficulty with this one. If you wish to enlighten me I would be most pleased.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and sharing.


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399
399
Review of Life ink tattoos  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Life Ink Tattoos

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Our writing is compared to tattoos. Meaning those writing stay with us just as a tattoo will always be with us. It is a valid thought but our writing will go on even after our physical presence is gone.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Interesting thoughts but words go beyond life.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

A larger font.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.


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400
400
Review of to feel better  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Review of To feel Better

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Whatever causes one to get to the state you describe should be avoided. I enjoyed suggestions for dealing with the unpleasant feelings.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

In three short four line verses you describe the things you have done to get over these bad feelings.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Larger font and centre will make the poem stand out more. Always think of how the reader will view your work.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing and please enjoy your WDC anniversary.


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