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812 Public Reviews Given
817 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to always pick out the positive points in a piece, even if overall I am not enamoured by it. I tend to point out grammatical and spelling errors. I will be honest, but not unkind *Smile*
I'm good at...
Empathising with people, giving my opinion, analysing poetry.
Favorite Genres
Travel, Sci - fi, psychology, opinion, music, horror, gothic food, emotional, death/dark, animal.
Least Favorite Genres
Western/war, Parenting, History, Erotica/Adult
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Flash Fiction, Photos, Articles.
Least Favorite Item Types
Campfire creatives, interactive stories.
I will not review...
Novels.
Public Reviews
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Review of Sugar  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello b_boonstra

I found your short story whilst looking for things to review for the "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. challenge. The title "Sugar" did not give much away about the story so I decided to delve in and read more.

I think you have touched on an interesting concept here - a future society where the government has decided to ration sugar for the good of the people - with talks of "Fat Tax" and compulsory labels now on everything, this is not such a far fetched notion and it sparks an interesting debate.

I would have liked to know what the prompt question was - often authors tag this in their entry. I suppose this is personal preference but personally I find it interesting to see how a prompt has been interpreted. *Smile*

I enjoyed the story although felt that the tenses used got a little confusing as it begins in the present tense but the last paragraph suggests that a story remembered from the past is being told. Other than this I like your style and the way you have written it sounds like it really happened! *Wink*


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127
Review of Camp 39  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Dave Author IconMail Icon

You have entered
FORUM
The Holiday Contest - CLOSED FOR REFURB Open in new Window. (ASR)
Holiday themed contest - submit your poems and short stories to win!! :)
#1922341 by Jellyfish is in Tenerife! 🌴 Author IconMail Icon


For the Month of October/November 2013

With your poem/short story "Camp 39" Open in new Window.

What I liked about your entry was....

I thought the imagery in your poem was great. I can really picture the people in the poem and follow them on this short trip. My favourite image is that of the sunlight filtering though the leaves, reminiscent of a stained glass window. *Smile*

What I was not so keen on was...

I found the style of the poem a little odd. Although it is very well written, it seems more like a flash fiction story split in to sections to me, rather than a freeform poem. I appreciate that this is probably what you intended, but am unsure if this is a style of poetry I favour.

How well your entry fit the prompt of the contest "HOLIDAYS"

The poem fit the prompt perfectly, being about a camping trip. The poem seems to indicate that the two young guys find that this "escape from the city" is not all it is cracked up to be - which would certainly echo my own thoughts on camping - not my preferred type of holiday.... *Wink*

In conclusion

A well written poem with great imagery which tells a short story about a camping trip. Perfect for the prompt, although I am a little unsure of the style employed.


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128
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Don Two Author IconMail Icon

You have entered
FORUM
The Holiday Contest - CLOSED FOR REFURB Open in new Window. (ASR)
Holiday themed contest - submit your poems and short stories to win!! :)
#1922341 by Jellyfish is in Tenerife! 🌴 Author IconMail Icon


For the Month of October/November 2013

With your poem/short story "One Fine Morning of Thwart" Open in new Window.

What I liked about your entry was....

I liked the fact that your poem told a story and an amusing one. It's funny because when I think or write about holidays myself I always think about the classic good points - sunbathing on the beach, drinking cocktails in the evenings, swimming in the pool and so on. A few people however have written about holidays going wrong. This is just as entertaining to me and I enjoyed reading the story within the poem here, wondering what the outcome was going to be at the end....

The poem has a frantic tone to it which I felt as I was reading it - I could almost see the couple in this farcical tale getting stuck in the doorway, piling in to the taxi and so on. The end of the poem made me laugh, it is a good ending - I hope though that this is not a true story! *Wink*


What I was not so keen on was...

The poem flows pretty well to me but there are some odd references I do not quite feel fit (this is of course just my personal opinion, there is nothing wrong with the images themselves!)

For example:

(somewhere on Bermuda scurries a crab.)

This seems a bit random! Are crabs particularly prolific on Bermuda?? Maybe they are. It just seems an odd thing to be thinking of when going on holiday! Later the crabs return to "frolic" on the beach - this seems an odd reference to a crab but perhaps you have just used this image for amusement. *Smile*

check on the tickets, do not be a hick.

This could be the transatlantic differences in meanings coming out but I thought a "Hick" was a term for someone who lived out in the country, like a "hillbilly"?? Again the reference did not make sense to me in the context used.

Louie then turned and chimed, “This is so rare.”

The poem seems to be about a man and his wife, I am unsure of who Louie is - their son perhaps? But this seems an odd thing for a child to say.

As I said, these things are not huge errors or anything, just things I thought of when reading the poem and had me slightly confused, so stilted my enjoyment of the poem a little.


How well your entry fit the prompt of the contest "HOLIDAYS"

Your entry fitted the prompt perfectly - the holiday theme ran throughout the poem highlighting the many things which could go wrong on the day you are supposed to be leaving for your trip!

In conclusion

I enjoyed your amusing poem which tells a short story within it. I think the poem rhymed and flowed well and was easy to read and understand on the whole, except for a few references (to me). Your poem fit the prompt of "HOLIDAYS" perfectly. *Smile* *Sun*



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129
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Mari, this is a really lovely idea to combine a sig shop with a raffle, especially where you get free tickets WITH your sig! *Bigsmile* Such a bargain price as well - and yes your sigs are definitely cute and colourful!! Hope you get lots of interest for your great fundraiser *Smile* *Smile*
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Review of unemployment  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello charlieb Author IconMail Icon

I saw your item on the "Noticing Newbies" page. Welcome to WDC and nice to meet you. *Balloonp* *Bookstack3*

I was drawn to read your item because of the title "Unemployment" and thought it may be an opinion piece on the topic. The title is a little misleading as the piece is more a journal type entry about relationships rather than a article about unemployment as such.

You might in fact want to consider starting a journal/blog item if this is a type of writing you are interested in - you certainly write in this manner here and I think you could write a good blog, your "thoughts on paper" as it were. There are lots of blogging groups and competitions going on here at WDC as well which may interest you. I would say that this does not necessarily work as a story or article though as a blog entry it would be perfectly at home. *Smile*

I would avoid using "text speak" in your work such as "IDK" as not everyone will know what this means and it does not read as well as typing the words. I would perhaps also check punctuation and capital letters for names if you are writing a story - you can always run it through spell check (this is what I do as I am not great at spelling and punctuation myself! *Blush* )

On the plus side I found your casual style here easy to read, honest and open. I am also intrigued by the last line - "He is my cactus..." - an interesting term of endearment I have not come across before!! *Wink*

If you are planning to write in this kind of style I would definitely consider a blog item *Smile*


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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon

This is a Rising Stars review for
STATIC
Surviving A Drama Queen Open in new Window. (13+)
“Oh Daddy, it’s just terrible. My life is now unbearable!” What could I do?
#1947313 by 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon


Here are my thoughts and opinions on your piece *Smile*

*FolderB*Title*FolderB*

The title drew me in, I suppose, because it contained the word "drama" - and having just been in one play and auditioning for another next week I suppose this word is at the forefront of my brain!! *Wink* Of course, the poem is not to do with drama of THAT kind - I think the title fits well for this different kind of drama queen.....*Smile*

*TrainB*Theme*TrainB*

The theme of your poem is a humorous outlook at being a Dad of teenage children. Having no children of my own, this is not something I can really relate to but this is not necessary to enjoy the poem and these are issues we are all aware of, from the media, things people talk about at work or on Facebook - even memories of one's own childhood (although it was all a lot simpler WITHOUT social media in those days *Laugh*)

*InfoB*Impressions*InfoB*

Your poem tells a story and I like this in a poem - the poem rhymes and reads very well, flawless really and you have kept to a specific form throughout which I think works fabulously. I enjoyed the poem more on the second read which I think was my brain getting used to the specific form here *Wink*. Your descriptions are illustrative and your rhymes often clever, such as here:

“Is it a bully? Or a boy?
Have they said something to annoy
or has someone’s life been ended?”
“Worse than that! I’ve been un-friended


*StarB*Favourite Bits*StarB*

My favourite part was probably the ending - A clever twist and also tying in the prompt sentence!

*GiftB*Overall*GiftB*

An enjoyable poem with a humorous take on the modern life of a teenage "drama queen" and her doting but slightly bemused Dad! Great rhymes and tells a lovely story. *Smile*



A sig for my Rising Stars reviews


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Review of I Saw a Dragon  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Magoo Author IconMail Icon

Header for The Gift Shop This review is part of the gift basket from "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. that Ghostranch Author Icon bought for you with the message: 'Congratulations on winning 3rd place in the Poetry Treasures contest.'

I was attracted to this piece in your port as I am a fan of dragons in general and currently am kind of obsessed with the game app "Dragons of Atlantis" *Wink*

Your poem did not disappoint and I thoroughly enjoyed it - you say you would like to write poems for children and I think you have created a perfect example of this - only of course adults can appreciate it too! *Smile*

The poem is cute, it's funny, it's original and it rhymes perfectly. I am transported to a land where dragons sell snacks and meet with their ladydragonfriends in the woods for illicit chats! *Wink*

I am hard pushed to find my favourite bits but here are a few that stand out for me:

then swallowed whole, a pickled snake. I found this funny, I don't really know why - it kind of reminded me of those huge jars of evil looking pickled eggs you find in pubs!

a lady dragon by the trees
applying makeup in the breeze. - I love this as I love the idea of applying human qualities to such mystical creatures

The dragons soon had dragon kids
who learned to fish for squirmy squids.
The kids sold squid within the square
and to the prince with maiden fair.

My favourite verse - such alliteration! (Imagine saying that after a few glasses of wine *Wink*)

Great poem, deserves no less than 5 stars in my opinion! *Smile* *Heart*


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In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Twitch Author IconMail Icon

Header for The Gift Shop Thank you for your order at "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.. We appreciate your business.'


I chose this poem to read as I have a particular personal hatred of winter and all its connotations and I was intrigued to discover why a man would have so much love for the season. Unfortunately I did not really find the answers to this question - although your poem is written in a beautifully passionate way with an almost dreamlike quality to the words. The writer seems delirious in his love for this season which he finds so exquisite yet so cruel.

I also found the style of your poem appealing although unusual - to me it seems freeform almost to the point of becoming prose, although that is not necessarily a bad thing. The poem tells a story, and has a sing-song quality to it.

I am not quite sure why you keep using the word "mine" instead of "my" - this seems to be purposely rather than a typo but strikes me as being harshly grammatically incorrect.

A couple of other things I noticed:

"Oh how softly thy singing is to mine ears" - "Soft" would be better here than "softly" - unless you perhaps changed the line to "Oh how softly thy sing"

"that wreches a man to his feet and to his death. - this is probably a typo which should read "wrenches"

You have an interesting poetic style here and some great imagery - although I am still feeling slightly lost at this overwhelming love for "winter" which is not quite explained....


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In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Jeannie🌺 Author IconMail Icon

Header for The Gift Shop This review is part of the gift basket from "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. that Fran 🌈🧜‍♀️ Author Icon bought for you with the message: 'Thank you for bidding on my package at "P.E.N.C.I.L. Fundraiser CLOSED" . Enjoy!

I picked this item from your port for two reasons - Firstly I like to hear about the "real person" behind the fiction in a portfolio and so enjoy reading about personal opinions and feelings of that member and of how they came to writing.com. Secondly because reviewing is such a huge and topical part of the site.

Of course, one can be a member without ever reviewing and simply write, but this way you are less likely to meet people and make friends with similar interests and tastes - and also less likely to get your own work reviewed...

It certainly sounds like you really love the reviewing element of this website - I don't think I am such a born reviewer as yourself *Wink*. A lot of my reviews may be relatively short, but I feel if you have bothered to read/look at a piece you have come across on the site, it is worth even sending a couple of lines to tell the author rather than nothing at all. I sometimes find it difficult if I am required to review something (for example as part of a contest or because someone has asked me to) and I don't have much of an opinion either way on the piece I am reviewing, or if it is about a topic which doesn't interest me. Some of the reviews I receive are amazingly detailed and several times longer than the piece they have reviewed! I don't think I have that kind of commitment.....

I do however like to review things like this, that I have an opinion about and can start a converstion, or perhaps just share some thoughts. Likewise I always like to review something - especially poetry which I genuinely love and can express my love for it to the writer!

I have received some lovely reviews from SAJ and you members really are devoted to the cause.

I only noticed one grammatical error in your article here:

"There hasn’t been any regrets since. " - I believe "hasn't" should be "haven't" as regrets is plural.

I enjoyed this well laid out insight in to your thoughts on reviewing, as well as the cute kitten picture *Smile*


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Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello Mike Makara Author IconMail Icon

I found your article on The Plug Page.

To be honest I think you have done a good job on the "satire" element here and it certainly made me laugh! *Laugh*

I like the way you have turned typical "diet tips" such as drinking water, planning meals etc around in to a ridiculous situation which is completely far fetched - but as we all know, long term weight loss can only truly be achieved by eating less and exercising more *Wink*. This is obviously a very topical subject in the modern, developed World (sadly) and you have highlighted the idiocy of it in your satirical take on dieting. The article could spark many debates I'm sure!

The one reference I don't get is this -

"If you can avoid last minute food choices, you can lose up to 100% of your body weight in a year, depending on how damp your burial site is. "

I don't quite understand the latter part of this sentence!?

A fun article to read, don't give up on the satire! *Smile*
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Review of Sleep!  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Ha ha Fran, sometimes your poems are so darkly humorous but they make me laugh - I probably shouldn't laugh at sheep being shot since I am a vegetarian - but as they are only dream sheep I'll let it slide...*Wink* I like the way the desperation in the poem eventually comes to a head in the last verse - we have all been there on that night of insomnia when all we want to do is dance the night away with our old friend sleep *Smile* I hope you get some soon! *Sleep* *Sleep* *Sleep*


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137
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Magoo Author IconMail Icon

Header for The Gift Shop This review is part of the gift basket from "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. that Ghostranch Author Icon bought for you with the message: 'Congratulations on winning 3rd place in the Poetry Treasures contest.

I love this poem! *Smile*

Your imagery and description are fantastic here - straight away I was drawn in to the scene, picturing this evil creature on a dark, misty night, out prowling for his prey...As well as your great images the poem rhymes and flows perfectly so that the reader carries on getting drawn in to the story as it play out - but perhaps the best part is the ending - what a twist! It made me laugh too. I found this very clever and imaginative and enjoyed reading it. Five Stars deffo*Smile* *Star*


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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Chrys O'Shea - Writing again Author IconMail Icon

Header for The Gift Shop This review is part of the gift basket from "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. that you won at the "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. raffle.

The main thing that I felt from reading your poem is the powerful message which it sends out - it is simply written and makes a clear point to the reader - The World could be a nicer place if we were all a bit nice to one another *Smile* which of course is a fantastic message to share.

I felt that the poem had an underlying musical tone to it almost as if it could be lyrics to a song rather than the words to a poem. It is neatly formatted - with the three central verses representing the three lines in the first and last - the World as it was, as it is and as it could be. I am not sure however that the past was such a romantic and pleasant place to live as the poem suggests - if anything we are more affluent now (in the Western World) than we have ever been - and there have always been soldiers fighting in wars - at times when medical science was little advanced and general health and sanitation was poor. Still, I certainly appreciate the sentiment you have expressed here . *Smile*


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Review of The Zombie Diner  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon

Header for The Gift Shop This review is part of the gift basket from "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. that you won at the "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. raffle.

The title of this poem drew me in - "The Zombie Diner"....hmm, I wondered what kind of poem this was going to be? Very fitting for the time of year of course. The picture is a bit disgusting - but in a funny way and it made me laugh, as did your poem. Whilst I do like my dark and depressing poetry, I do also love a poem which makes me smile and laugh and your competition entry poem did just that. I found it very imaginative - in fact it reminded me a bit of those poems I read as a child - was it "Ghastly nursery rhymes" or something like that??(googles) - Rhoald Dhal - Revolting Rhymes, that's the one! *Smile*

Although you have given this an 18 + rating (and I see why) I think some kids would love it.

As for the rhyme and flow of the poetry, overall I think this is a success with the ab, ab rhyme sequence, apart from the second verse:

"There on the page was the food list:
Grilled Hand and Cheese Sandwich.
The fine print read “It can’t resist.”
Was this a real sales pitch?"

where the rhymes don't seem to fit as well as those within the rest of the poem.

Some of the rhymes however are very inspired, my favourite being

"Still, I had to see if this was real
or just some clever gimmick.
And so I dropped by for a meal
prepared to be bulimic."

I also love the image of the "EYE SCREAM" sandwich - ha ha, very clever *Wink*

I think this is a great response to the prompt, it is highly creative, made me laugh and you have some great imagery. I enjoyed reading it *Smile*


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Review of The Black Widow  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Marci

I love this poem! Quite fitting for the time of year with all these spooky goings on he he!

Firstly I think you have used the prompt words very effectively. I think it is always hard to use so many prompt words in a poem and yet still come out with a good poem at the end! You however have definitely managed to do that here and the prompt words slot effortlessly in to your poem.

I also love the tone of the poem, I read it in my head in the sound of someone or something with a very sinister and creepy voice! This creature thinks nothing of going in for the kill! *Wink* *Bug*

As in most of your poems you have lovely rhymes here and the poem flows easily. The only line I think does not fit so well is

So with the candle wax burning bright

There is nothing wrong with the line but it does not seem to flow as easily as the others.

A great poem though, I enjoyed reading it and very fitting for Halloween!!

** Image ID #1958097 Unavailable **



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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Isola

Thank you for your review request.

I felt that your poem definitely flowed well, the rhyming couplets all worked and I could see no errors in either the form nor the grammar. The writer is evidently relating this poem to someone in particular - you have told me that this is your Son. I wonder if he has read it and how he feels about it?

The theme is something which I am sure many Mothers may be able to relate to. As I am not, I find this difficult. To me, 19 seems quite old, in the sense of being "grown up" - certainly at this age my life was well and truly underway! If the child in question was 12 or 13 I could maybe understand the sentiment more.

The poem is well written but the content seems a bit flippant to me - this "life is good/it's all a learning curve" vibe is not something I have an affinity with, but it is interesting to see your perspective on life, and I am glad you feel so positive for yourself as well as your son! *Smile*


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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello M.A.GEORGE Author IconMail Icon

You have entered
FORUM
The Holiday Contest - CLOSED FOR REFURB Open in new Window. (ASR)
Holiday themed contest - submit your poems and short stories to win!! :)
#1922341 by Jellyfish is in Tenerife! 🌴 Author IconMail Icon


For the Month of August/September 2013

With your poem/short story"Certainly (NOT) Cool"

What I liked about your entry was....

I like your style of writing, the short lines and dreamy imagery - it is the kind of style I like to read, and often to write. The poem has a bit of a satirical tone to it (to me). It is short but tells its own little story.

I love this line:

It runs, as if the tears of a clown
from the overhang of the cornet
to meet my heated hand.


What a great metaphor!

How well your entry fit the prompt of the contest "HOLIDAYS"

Although I really enjoyed reading the poem and I think it is effective in itself, to me it was more about the ice cream, possible a day out rather than a holiday.

In conclusion

I thought this was a great poem, so I want to give it a nice rating! Although in terms of an entry I did not quite get a holiday feel from reading it. *Smile*


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Rated: E | (4.5)
HelloJudith Sandala Author IconMail Icon

You have entered
FORUM
The Holiday Contest - CLOSED FOR REFURB Open in new Window. (ASR)
Holiday themed contest - submit your poems and short stories to win!! :)
#1922341 by Jellyfish is in Tenerife! 🌴 Author IconMail Icon


For the Month of August/September 2013

With your poem/short story "Sojourn at the Cape"

What I liked about your entry was....

I really liked the imagery in your poem and whilst reading it could really picture those waves lapping on the shore and the radiant sun beating down. I thought it was a lovely "feel good" poem and at the end almost believed I was there, and not in my bedroom in the South of England *Wink*.

My favourite line is the opening one :

"There is no sorrow here,
where the sea shines and laps the shore
with tongues of frothy waves."

I think this says it all really, this is why I love sun holidays!

How well your entry fit the prompt of the contest "HOLIDAYS"

I thought your poem fit the theme very well and really captured that feeling of escaping which I think holidays bring. As you say - there is no sorrow under the blue sky, on a beautiful beach! *Smile*

In conclusion

An enjoyable poem to read with lovely imagery and a perfect fit for the holiday theme *Smile*


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144
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Angela Death Author IconMail Icon

You have entered
FORUM
The Holiday Contest - CLOSED FOR REFURB Open in new Window. (ASR)
Holiday themed contest - submit your poems and short stories to win!! :)
#1922341 by Jellyfish is in Tenerife! 🌴 Author IconMail Icon


For the Month of August/September

With your poem "The Little Beggars"

What I liked about your entry was....

I thought that it rhymed well and gave a good description of children trick or treating on Halloween - although this does seem to depict the occasion from more of a parents point of view having to look after their hyperactive children!

What I was not so keen on was...

In the second verse:

Sugar highs will rage all night long
As costumed children hover in throng
Clever are the rascals now
As mommies and daddies make them vow

"Throng" should be "Throngs" to be grammatically correct I believe, although I see that this would not rhyme!

I am not sure about the third line - Why are the rascals clever? It could just be me but I don't see how this fits in to the poem.


How well your entry fit the prompt of the contest "HOLIDAYS"

Whilst your poem is about an occasion - Halloween - I did not pick up any sense of the theme of "Holidays" in your poem. Perhaps if the children had spent Halloween on holiday somewhere, maybe learning the customs in a new place or spent the weekend away with friends etc it would have fit the theme better *Smile*

In conclusion

I thought this was a fun poem to read about Halloween - There are lots of Halloween contests around at present, you should definitely consider entering it in to one of these! *Smile*


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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Jeff, I have been wondering for a while why there is little regarding screenwriting here on WDC - I would definitely be up for a screenwriting interest group - although unlike you I am no professional but I have tonnes of screenplay ideas! I would also love to know what you have done as you say you have worked in the industry??! I also think there is a lack of screenplay - or even stage play contests/events etc.....I'd be up for getting something like this together *Smile*
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Aww Jeff that is really amazing! I was so looking forward to seeing how you were going to put it all together, this must have taken you ages. I love the music too, it's a perfect fit. I am so glad I got to be a part of this and it is lovely to see some of my fellow members as a real person, not just a name! I am sure SM and SMS will think this is awesome! *Delight*
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Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a good idea putting a list of all the books you have read this year in one place - I am guessing you will do a new folder every year! However - I have to saw WOW - how many books?? I have probably read less than a quarter than you have this year! I find myself quite a slow reader (unless I'm on holiday).

It is interesting to find out what other people are reading/have read. Are you on Goodreads? If so we will have to add each other *Smile*. We have quite different tastes although I do like Stephen King - CARRIE is one of my fave books. (The film is not as good). Can you believe, I have never read the Harry Potter books! I really should do. I was only recently having a conversation with a girl about this.

The only thing I can suggest about this page is maybe make it a bit more aesthetically pleasing, maybe some colours or emoticons or whatnot? - plus also you could maybe link some of your product reviews if they are about books on the list?

Love the idea though, I might copy it! *Wink*


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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Fran

As you won my package in "Invalid Item" Open in new Window., one of the prizes was a pink awardicon to an item of my choice. After looking through your port and seeing a couple of contenders, I have decided to award it to "You are so loud". My main reason for doing this is that your poem actually made me laugh, really laugh out loud. And after the rubbishy day I have had - That was great!

It may not be the most complicated or in depth type of poem, but I love it. It does what it says in the title. If this is a true ode to your neighbours, you should send it to them (anonymously). Of course, this is something we can all relate to - and something most of us never have the guts to actually say... (especially us brits....)

My favourite bit is the last part....

"Your door slams are loud.
Your children are loud.
Your days off are loud.
Your fish are loud too.

Yes, even the fish!
The volume knob is here.
Use it as you wish. "

Oh I am still giggling about it......*Delight*


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Review of Private calls  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello Jimminycritic Author IconMail Icon

Header for The Gift Shop This review is part of the gift basket from "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. that you won at the "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.

I like to read flash fiction and especially the dark variety - I think it is hard to do, to come up with a story in such a short space.

I do like the idea behind your story which has a real future fiction vibe to it. However, I did feel that it was too complicated a plot for 200 words. The first time I read it, it made little sense to me. I read it again a couple of times and began to get the gist - it seems to be set in the future where somebody has found a way to make sound waves in to pictures - possibly the government?

Your style of writing is easy to read and you have good imagery - I feel though that is more the "blurb" on the back of a book to try and get the reader to buy it and read the rest rather than a flash fiction story in its own right. Maybe it would be worth turning it in to something longer one day?!


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Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon

I have read your collection of poetry within this folder and it is a powerful one which really gives a raw insight in to your personal life. Although I know a lot about depression (more than I would care to I suppose!), I know little about fibromyalgia, other than, I think it is a painful disorder which is not really localised pain and is difficult to cure. ( Perhaps it would be a good idea to include a piece about the illness as many people may not have heard of it?)

Your collection of poetry here is quite varied in form even if it is dealing with similar issues - your emotions and feelings are on display here, yet you still format them in to flowing poetry such as "I lost my Freedom" and "The Walls".

Your poem "The Lonely Wind" is my favourite in this collection - I feel that whilst on the surface it tells the story of an abstract thing, the loneliness described here relates to the loneliness of depression.

Although it is not something which I myself can relate to, I am pleased that you can find solace in your faith and that it can give you some hope *Smile*

I wish you all the best Marci, you are a lovely WDC friend to have! *Heart*


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