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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/abranson/sort_by/entry_order DESC, entry_creation_time DESC/page/17
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Experience · #1578384
You never know what you'll find - humor, ramblings, rants, randomness- it's all me!
This description part is challenging. I never know what I will blog about until I start typing. I do know there will be typos. I don't reread or correct my blog. Otherwise it turns technical instead of my feelings and thoughts. Trust me, on stories and poems I'm a grammaraholic, but this is freedom. Sometimes to keep it from getting too personal, I even turn my head away while I type. Weird, right?. I hope you find this somewhat entertaining, thought-provoking, and humorous. *Inlove*

Let's cross our fingers.
A little about me. The most important things in my life are family, especially my son, Reese, and my husband, Bruce, my walk with God, and making a positive impact in some way. I am a teacher, currently teaching 6th grade Language Arts. While at times my job can be trying, overall, it is one of the most rewarding passions in my life.

My best friend, my son Figured since my son is about to graduate high school, I might want to update his pic.


This is my wonderful son, Reese. He is now 20 and and a junior at Oklahoma State University. I may be partial, but he is an exceptional kid with the best heart I've ever known. He makes me laugh, think, and want to be a better person. We are both huge Oklahoma State Cowboy fans - Gooooooo Pokes!

My son's dog - Betty

This is Reese's dog, Betty. She shares a name with my mother. Reese named her that because she was beautiful and kind just like his Nanny (my mom). I'm not sure my mom is quite convinced it is a compliment though. Betty is a huge part of our family. She even had her own blog for awhile.

Poke around at your leisure and shake your head at some of things that go through mine. I always return reviews/comments, though admittedly, sometimes it does take me awhile depending on what life is serving me at that point.

Keeping the faith,
Audra


my newest sig

Previous ... 13 14 15 16 -17- 18 ... Next
January 21, 2010 at 6:15pm
January 21, 2010 at 6:15pm
#684604
You know what is a terrible combination? An overachieving mother and a laid back do the minimum amount of work son - add to that the fact that your mother works at the school and hears every little thing you do wrong - mix in the fact that she just called about 20 people's kids to inform them that THEIR kids were slackers -- it's not a pretty outcome.

Don't get me wrong - I'm glad my son isn't as anal i was/am about perfection - but really? really? couldn't he just fake it once in awhile? I know you are wondering what he did or didn't do wrong - well, too bad i'm not going to tell you because i don't want a thousand emails telling me i expect to much - BECAUSE I DON'T. Trust me, I want to expect more. I've been rational and realized he is his own person and has his own abilities and goals - I've accepted it - (without counseling i might add) BUT i am here to guide somewhat -- it's not a damn free for all.

Again, don't misunderstand -- i know he's a great kid, i am truly blessed - i have more fun with him than anyone in the world. He is exactly what i prayed my whole life for -- but TODAY well i am frustrated at the little toot. ohhhhhh i don't think i'm going to enjoy the teenage years too much.

Okay - i've vented.

Thank you


oh wait one more thing -- i really wanted to go out to eat tonight and now we can't because i sure can't let him think that hey lets go out to eat and celebrate the fact that he is frustrating the living hell out of me. SO NOW I HAVE TO COOK --- life is not fair. pfffftttt
January 3, 2010 at 3:16pm
January 3, 2010 at 3:16pm
#682238
My cat was playing with a dead mouse in my HOUSE!!! and i had to pay my son $5.00 to dispose of it. and then when he picked it up he screamed like a little girl - i thought it had come back to life and bit him. I hate them hate them hate them hate them!!!! do you get that i hate mice? NASTY NASTY NASTY!
January 1, 2010 at 1:13pm
January 1, 2010 at 1:13pm
#681953
Okay, so i've been trying to bake/cook more lately. You know, supposedly healthier, cheapier all that. First of all, it is not cheaper when you are a learning cook because you have NOTHING you need -- floor, sugar, spice crap uhhhhh. But anyway to my real rant.

Well, my mother gave me a turkey - apparently my dad got one for a bonus (woohoo how exciting - but then again more than i got). So i bought the bag and the pan to cook it in. And i did know that i was going to have to pull something out of this bird, but hey i've cleaned up poop before so how hard could that be? WEllll.....

No where on that instruction sheet did it tell me that when i cut the plastic off it was going to be like a pregnant turkey's water broke all over me. NOw in my mind i know it's from the thawing, but i swear it looked like she was spraying me from those tied together legs. Once i got past that i was ready to pull out the giblets and whatever else are trapped up in those legs.

Again here, there was no description. It was like the damned turkey had swallowed a deformed penis and that sac thing? Well, you can imagine what my mind was thinking as i was gagging.

And then it says i have to rinse it inside and out with cold water? What the hell kind of food is this that i have to give it a damn enema before i can cook it. By this time my hands are freezing and this is beyone any imagination of mine that it might come out tasting good. And then i'm thinking if this is what the Native Americans taught us on the first Thanksgiving, I bet they are laughing their asses off that we look FORWARD to doing this every year.

So anyway, the turkey is cooking for well apparently it's an all day type thing and as i sit here typing (my stomach is not grumbling with hunger i assure you) it occurs to me that i have no damn carving knife!

Kentucky Fried Chicken for supper is sounding realllllllly good!
October 24, 2009 at 2:04pm
October 24, 2009 at 2:04pm
#673109
Sooooo, is it bad that i bought black Christmas tree ornaments and like them? does that make me want to be emo or something? i don't know many 40 year old emo people, but i could be starting a trend.

I came on to chat and alas no one was in chat.

i'm mad at the post office, I'd like to boycott them but i think that is impossible.

the student of mine ( i teach 8th grade) keeps trying to hug me. And I explained to him that he might want to recognize that some people just aren't touchy people. His response was, "Oh, I know Ms. Ralls, I only hug you." At this point i realized he was missing the point and is stupid. It's not really that i don't like hugging people, I just don't like hugging people i don't like or those that cough incessantly. I'm not phobic of the swine flu, but hey i don't need to be asking for trouble. I know i sound callous and mean - oh well.

So my sister is in the psych ward for "suicidal" thoughts again. I think they are going to start charging her rent as well as medical fees. Oh wait, that sounded callous and mean again damn me

i bought a "snuggie" for my dog. I can't believe i did that. It was just there and i was like hey i think he was shivering the other night. I'm quite embarrassed. I mean seriously, I wouldn't even buy those stupid ass things for myself. Now black christmas ornaments.. . heck yes!
October 20, 2009 at 6:09pm
October 20, 2009 at 6:09pm
#672606
I'm not doing so good on my promise to you, Aero. Let's see -- I'm tired, overwhelmed, and hilarious -- yep life's pretty much normal. Oh yeah, I'm hungry too and have no idea what i want to eat. Actually, I just don't even care I just wish someone else would fix it for me. And bring it to me on the catch while i lose myself in some mindless tv show --- ahhhhh Heaven. . . .
October 16, 2009 at 7:26pm
October 16, 2009 at 7:26pm
#672033
Ok - I promised Aero i would try to blog daily -- soooo (big sigh) here i am.

After spending the day with my mother I've realized that she is completely the most easily manipulated person in the world. (it wasn't me doing the manipulation this time)

My sociopathic (no, this isn't an exagerration) sister called her about 10 times while we were over there. She wanted mom to take her to the Volley ball game with her and dad tomorrow. When mom said no this escalated to if you don't i'll be so miserable I'll kill myself. Before you guys start feeling sorry for her, please realize this is just an attention seeking threat. The times she has tried she's done so in front of people so that she wouldn't actually die because in her own words, "I'm not crazy, I love myself too much to kill myself. I just needed to get my way/attention."

So anyhoo, as the phone calls go on and my mom is about to give in - i ask my mom when my sister is saying she's going to kill herself. She looks at me seriously and says, "Well, she goes to work at 5:00 - so some time after she gets home." Okay, let's all pause for a minute and examine this. If i'm going to kill myself my last act in life is sure as hell not going to be working. So, I mention the absurdity of this to my mom, who responds, "well, she needs the money." What are we missing here? She's going to go make minimum wage for 3 1/2 hours, because she needs that $21.00 for what after she supposedly kills herself.

Yes, I know I sound callous. And i'm not going to make any excuses. I have none. I never thought I'd feel this way, but then again life has shown me a lot of things i didn't think i'd discover.

On a happier note - i know i'm 40 but i love the show icarly.

love you guys!
August 9, 2009 at 12:00pm
August 9, 2009 at 12:00pm
#662870
why is it that everytime i bring my breakfast in here, my cat has to poop in the litter box? it's disgusting!


I took the kittens to the farm though, so at least i'm dealing with less poop.
August 6, 2009 at 10:58pm
August 6, 2009 at 10:58pm
#662526
So I was thinking back on my bilateral knee replacement journey, and I remembered that one of the worst parts was that i had a reaction to the surgical tape they used on my back for the epidural. So not only were my knees hurting but i itched like crazy. Well, see this "rash" kept getting worse and even more worse. At one point during one especially torturous night I buzzed the nurse. When she comes in, I say, "I'm so sorry to keep asking you this but could you put some medicine on my rash again. I know it must suck to have to look at welts on back fat but i'm dieing here." Well, she was nice about it, and while she was doing it i get a closer look at the tube of ointment. I picked it up and read "for treatment of jock itch". Okay, so here's the thing: 1. I have no jock and 2. I don't think you can get a fungus from surgical tape. It occured to me then in my midnight wisdom hour that I might be having a reaction for this medicine that usually relieves males from scratching their woohas nonstop.

The next morning when the doctor came in - i pointed out this problem and quite politely but adamantly told him i was not having a stranger rub jock itch ointment on my welty back any more. He must, in fact, try to find something suitable to the patient and problem.

So, I get something else and eventually the rash clears up. Well, yesterday I was looking at the tube they sent home with me because i wanted to see if it would work for a cut my son had. And one of the things it said it is good for is: diarrhea perspiration. Now work with me here. First of all, I"m thinking they went from jock itch cream to diarrhea perspiration cream on my back. Secondly, it occurs to me i have no idea what diarrhea perspiration is.

I google it and nothing comes up. And I'm thinking "What the hell? Google is pretty damn smart." So being the savvy consumer i am. I call the number on the tube to ask what the f*** is diarhea persperation. A nice gentleman explains to me this is a misprint and should read excessive perspiration.

The moral to my story: this is why it is important to edit your work before publishing because i experienced great trauma thinking i had diarrhea perspiration medicine lathered on my body.

audra
August 1, 2009 at 9:33pm
August 1, 2009 at 9:33pm
#661822
Okay, let's talk about train trips. Sounds fun in theory huh? And honestly it's not that bad. But you know what? that whistle/horn goes off all the freakin' time. By the last hour of the trip coming home I had absolutely no nerves left. I admit it. . . I paid my son $5.00 to go sit somewhere else for 10 minutes. I"m not proud of it, but i'm not ashamed either. He smelled like Nacho Cheese Doritos and boy sweat. Plus he was talking non-stop and i couldn't hear half of what he was saying because of the train horn!

But overall it was a nice vacation -- trip - escape. I watched my first Harry Potter movie and it confirmed why I have never had a desire to see any of them. But we'll do things like that to see our kids happy.

Anyway, can't write much, too much stimulus going on around me.

Love!
July 24, 2009 at 2:11pm
July 24, 2009 at 2:11pm
#660680
Okay, so i was being responsible (yes, even hard for me to believe) and taking my car into my friend, Jose's, shop because the gauges weren't working. Now Jose's shop is in a part of the city that is well lets just say I was a minority and probably the only one without a weapon. But it's no matter to me, because Jose always gives me a great price and i figure people are just people whereever you go.

SO, first i get stuck in a traffic jam for 30 minutes. But it's ok because there is good music on the radio. But when i get to Jose's, Jose is not there. Shouldn't be a problem, right? Cause lots of other mechanics are there. Well, the thing is none of them speak English. They only speak Spanish. And i didn't really retain a lot from my spanish classes. I begin talking with my hands, because i assume it's a universal language. and they're talking back - in spanish. At one point i thought they called me a whore - but then i realized they said horas which i believe is hours - or i'm pretending it is anyway. so i think they are telling me cuatro (4) horas -- well, i didn't really want to wait somewhere where they may be calling me a whore for 4 hours. so i decided i'll call later and talk to jose.

Well, then i get lost in this part of town. And I now realize when they have those signs that say "road closed" it's not just a possibility, it's pretty much a given. As i'm driving a see some ladies on the street and they looked nice so i thought i'd see if they could give me directions to the highway. I rolled down my window and one comes over and says "No senoritas." I just smile and nod and start doing my hand motions again that i think clearly tell her i need help going to the highway. "No quiero amigas" (or something like that ) Then God shoots me a lightning bolt and i realize they are hookers. so i just give her a thumbs up and head on my way.

45 minutes later i found it back on the highway and started for home sweet home. Just then, jose calls me telling me to come back he will get me in sooner than 4 hours. I had to turn poor jose down. I said i had an appointment with a latte and a hot bath.

See ya!

audra

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