Through the eyes of a writer and traveler ๐! Life and some spiritual musings. |
Welcome Y'all ๐ค . I'm into animal rescue and rights. Positive vibes and activism! ๐ป๐ It's been interesting for the past 20 years. Good folks on here and a great ๐ writing community. It's time for rethinking my writing and growing as a person . Sharing how to help others and ourselves ๐ has always been my motivation! Hugs ๐ค to new and old peeps! " The journey of 10,000 miles Begins with one step ๐ช. --Lao Tzu What you don't like Don't do to another. Rabbi Hillel Do unto others as you would have someone Do unto you. Jesus ๐ |
Hi y'all, I thought I was ok, but not so I'm hoping not to have to wait till October to be seen. It's like reruns of last year. It took that long for the first appointment. I was so sure the worst was behind and was excited about getting more involved here and getting old projects started again. The best laid plans do offen go a stray as they said... Not sure how to deal with all of this. It's too much uncertainty. Will I get better? Will it stay the same and this is my new normal? It's a lot for us both to deal with. I keep digging in and looking at options. Giant mowers outside and can't hear myself thinking ๐ค! I'm skipping weekly goals this week. Great news that WDC will be celebrating 25 years birthday and will have huge celebrations! If I'm not back, will be in time. Didn't expect things to fall apart health-wise ๐ฆ. Please send prayers or good vibes ๐. Say hey ๐ too if ya like. I'm hanging in as best as possible. We both are. Blessings |
About 6 hours ago I wrote this: "So how's by you dear-ee? Hi y'all ๐๐ค ! I'm sitting in the car having a cig,as the laundry ๐งบ gets washed. The AC is out at the Laundromat and it's in the 90s whew ๐ฅ! Going to take it home to fold today. Later today I will write โ๏ธ more about this week and try to post it. Hot ๐ฅ off the press! Loud thunder and huge lightning โกโ๏ธ on Tuesday, after big shop at Walmart." Yeah ๐น it's been a crazy nutty week with ups and downs ๐ข! Ok so on Tuesday we went early ( 9 AM) and used our Humana cards โฆ๏ธ at Walmart. It's like the only place to use them ( Now that Aldi's is opening a second store and Winn-Dixie went out of business in Ocean ๐ชธ Springs about 10 miles from home.) We knew a storm was on the way but made it home safely and unloaded the groceries. An hour later or so Sis was taking a nap on the couch and I was upstairs trying to get my writing organized. I started to write โ๏ธ an email to another old friend of mine Brother "K" a Cool Jesuit Priest. He's also related to my Good friend Mabs ๐ฉท๐๐ชป! I needed some Spiritual counseling and one one-on-one friendship in real time! It's a solitary action to be a writer. You have to think ๐ค of ideas ๐ก and find a way to tell someone what your vision is. You have to read it and edit so you make yourself clear! It takes time,concentration and energy . So I'm typing and all of a sudden I heard a super loud ๐ข roar of thunder. It sounded like a truck hit the building. I turned my head left towards the window ๐ช and saw the biggest fattest streak of lightning โกโ๏ธ hit the ground outside. I jumped up thinking " I'd better unplug the TV" and heard sis yell loudly from downstairs. As I ran down the steps figured the thunder woke her out of a dead sleep. She was shocked out of her sleep. I was right ๐. It was the loudest boom we heard,it sounded like it hit a transformer. When we first moved to the south,we were living in Georgia for 9 years. We had lightning hit our house/Apt twice and it blew out our TV, stereo, washer and more like my Boom box. We had to replace everything and learned what lighting can do. This time nothing got ruined thank goodness! Wednesday I saw my " Dr" Nurse practitioner and great news, I put on 2 lbs my BP was normal, so can continue not taking the BP med! Less ๐ pills make me happy ๐๐ธ๐! We watched some pretty good old ๐ฝ๏ธ๐ฅ films this week. Lured 1947 with Lucille Ball a pretty good mystery/ thriller and good cast, including Boris Karloff! Another Man's Poison 1951 With my all-time favorite Miss Betty Davis!๐๐ฉท A great actress for the plot of this story! ๐ About a mystery writer who becomes part of a real-life mystery and the range of her emotions is way impressive ๐! So I'm taking my bookmarks out of my color notes ๐ถ app, and putting them into a Google doc. Organized into categories like Music ๐ต for links of the Beatles and Prince ๐ผ. While I was sick and too tired to get things I wanted to share in group s here,it made sense to hold on to them for when they could be helpful. I have to clean ๐ซง the kitchen in a few. It's better to do it last thing at night before I go upstairs and settle into my bed. I play Farmville 3 and different Solitaire games and earn gift cards on Mistplay. Have been doing it for a few years and nice to get Tara Incense or Estee Lauder sample gifts! This week Uranus is going into the sign of Gemini โ and expect to feel a bunch of changes coming! Can be positive or not. I will be looking into it with Sis and will share some info this week. We used to check out Mark Lerner from Eugene Oregon for years but he's gotten too technical and expensive! I get emails from Jaime Wright and looking into something new! So have a blessed week ๐ ๐ธ people and sending prayers and hugs ๐ค ๐น to y'all! |
Hi y'all ๐๐ค the ride to the Eye injection appointment will be here at 6:30 AM tomorrow! I'm getting up at four to make sure I have time for meds, clean litter box and everything else! I may have figured out more ๐ to get myself well this morning. I've been sleeping on a wedge pillow since January and I think it's making me nauseous when I wake up . Also it puts more pressure on my spine and not good. I finished my contest entry and going to enter after all . Glad to be connected but also feel lonely today. I haven't been able to reach out as much. Glad for those that say hey ๐ to me in their own way with what they have going on. I miss my buddy and thankful he helped me find my faith again. Praying he and everyone ๐ who needs prayers feel mine today. Speak ๐ soon y'all โฏ๏ธ๐ป๐ถ๐๐ป๐ฅณ๐ |
I started praying ๐ to more than I have been. Blessed Carlos A who will be a Saint on Sept 7 th. Figure it couldn't hurt! This week found out I didn't have to wait another 3 weeks to be seen by digestive clinic. We went last Tuesday and after seeing someone else who had no answers to our questions, but agreed " It was a good thing I stopped taking one of the ulcers meds because it made me sicker." I've been fine since the day after taking it! To me that's a miracle after being so sick and weak for the past year. I've been praying for our friend Mike and others also. And for others around the world. Our granddaughter Kat celebrated her 21 birthday ๐ and happy she is doing good! I'm hoping to have more energy for writing and things. Sending hugs ๐ค and prayers to y'all. As I feel better will write more! And be in touch more with comments and reviews. I'm slowly working on Sea of good karma item and thinking about the BEATles contest. Great entries there! Sometimes I just expect to hop up and feel good most of the time! There's so much catching up to do. Thankful for good souls in our paths.๐ฟ๐ถโฏ๏ธ๐ ๐๐ค |
I was hoping to start the BEATles contest today. I'm 2 weeks behind ( just seeing it yesterday on WDC) "Are you resting, crying or writing?" I'm asked. "I don't know what I am right now..." " Why don't you ever know?" ( Like that's an absolute and happened every time I was asked that.) Everyday is an argument or disagreement but called " a simple conversation" That I'm " making more of it than it really is" That " I'm too sensitive about everything" so she doesn't seem to be able to talk about anything that might upset me ". She's the victim she thinks. But in reality I am but don't enjoy the role at all. Two different people with two different outlooks. I offered to help find her glasses and was snapped at with" I can do it myself " I said " I didn't know if was a bad thing to want to help". So I'm sitting upstairs and not writing what I planned on or not playing my guitar either. ( You said "I shouldn't have bothered you and went to Mississippi and let you stay there. " Yeah I made an error leaving Washington and coming here. I thought I was helping you and making a good choice. I also felt bad that you were homeless and nothing was working out for you to get a place, and I was trying to do the same. I didn't want to burden my good friends with having me stay a year or more, trying to get on a list for housing. Our incomes don't allow us to get our own place without it. The extended stay studio was running $1600 a month. Hard to save for deposits etc. The good Lord Lordess led me to find a close public housing place and 2 months later we had a duplex. This is the third time our rent has gone up but still less than other places and we are thankful ๐. What's your income? A lifelong reality no matter how hard we worked and trying to make things different. I battle depression and anxiety daily and at 70 it's gotten harder to " snap out of it". She looks out for me as far as being careful about what she makes for dinner ( because of my ulcers that are getting better but awful to see in Jan.) Part of my problem is I'm sensitive to the tone of voice or certain words that trigger me. I've done 40 years of figuring out how people tick, and my own situations. Why they do what they do and so on Many people came to me over the years for advice and support. Funny thing is I can't always get my tricks to work on me! I'm concerned about some dear members going through their own stuff and praying ๐ for them. I'm used to pulling away from people when I'm going through it. I don't like to show that part of my life too often. I used to think " Everything that happened had a reason!" Now not sure if that's true or things are random. Being sick for so long didn't help and dropping to 106 lbs. Tomorrow will find out what it is now. I started reworking Sea of Good Karma. Not done yet. Got an awesome review on this very spot. Hoping to thank her ๐. I'm stuck in a gear โ๏ธ that's negative and praying to get out of it. I can't bring light ๐ฏ๏ธ or good things to anyone,if my candle is dark ๐. I have always believed we are in a spiritual war. Faith along with action that benefits others and ourselves is the right path to take. It's not the easiest one. The devil ๐ฟ๐ wants us to give up and not even bother doing anything good. The devil wants us alone and to think we don't matter and no one cares about us. Some people are more susceptible than others. There's so much wrong in the world and it's frustrating not to be able to fix at least some of it I need to find a way out of my own limbo. To as the Door's sang: " Break on through to the other side!๐ถ๐ฅ๐ธ" Last week I started another list of members/pals and user names, so can start tagging them with thanks ๐๐! Getting more things organized to redo my port here! I made 3 videos this week. To see if I was jamming in tune with em! I was but didn't like how serious and sick I looked in them. Bad camera angles and even though it sounded good and I was surprised at my playing ( after not having access for 3 years)! I played with Santana Smooth Black magic women and oye como vah. Neil Young The Loner One of my favorites. Maybe one day I'll write โ๏ธ about the "B". A good friend I had as a teenager. We jammed and talked for hours on the wall phone! I'm going to share this in my blog today. I figured if folks like it and me cool ๐! If not there's a billion other bloggers out there! LoL ๐ ๐ I know there are folks that do care about me and I feel the same about them as well!๐๐๐๐๐ธ๐ฏ๐ Have a blessed week ๐ ๐ธ Ok what I do? Heard " Oh your writing so I'm going to sleep." I said" what's that got to do with anything? ( I'm writing so you should go to sleep and not bother me? I didn't say you were...) Man do I miss the days of group therapy! Not even kidding. Being stuck in the house is hard. I used to go places on the bus/EMX in Eugene by myself. Go shopping, take Ballet ๐ฉฐ. See my " Cool Shrink" Get a Dutch Bros ( double shot mocha, with blended ice, almond syrup and lots of whipped cream ๐จ!) OMG I really miss those days. Wah ! I'm praying we will make it to Pensacola in a year or so. Hopefully before we die! Going to get some lunch. I had a treat this week. Amy's frozen India dinner with chick peas ,rice , cheese,peas and curry ๐! Yummy ๐ ๐คค! We have to get the car oil ๐ข๏ธ changed this week. Fun times! We make sure the car is taken care of. Maxy has been waking us up at 6 AM and it's driving us nuts ๐ฅ! I'm trying to break her of the habit ๐ญ!!! Bye ๐ ๐๐ฉท May the wheel ๐ ๐ก of fortune ๐ฅ ๐ฎ being y'all ๐ good things and blessings ๐ โฎ๏ธโ๏ธ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ |
Hi, y'all ๐๐ค ! It's been a crazy week! The thunderstorms have brought a lot of pain to my spine and after we did laundry on Monday, I messed up one of my bad kneecaps putting on the fitted sheet. I hurt it years ago break dancing! Anyway it was messed up for a day or so but still had stuff to do. Right now I'm in a strange headspace! Today I got a Facebook message from someone I haven't seen since 1974. We went to the same Jr high and High school and she knew my brother's. And had been at my brother's funeral in 1982. It was in Brooklyn and I was there from Oregon. We had an interesting conversation. After my brother was killed by a police car there was a case of accidental wrongful death and my other brother robbed me of whatever my share was. He lied and said the case wasn't settled yet but I called the lawyer in New York one day and found out it was settled 9 years before. I called him out for lying about it, more than the money. He stopped talking to me since 1991. I tried to make peace but he never would. I have a niece and nephew I never met and see them on Facebook but wouldn't contact them,it wouldn't be right. Now I hear from someone who is in touch with my brother And some other people from 1974. It's kinda surreal to me. I figured nothing will happen until judgment day! Not in this life. A very good thing did happen, my guitar came!!! I was playing along with YouTube videos. The Who, Neil Young and others! Was nice to know I can still keep a tune and rhythm! It's a blessing and made me very happy and grateful to have it. It's funny because I wanted the Teal green one! I never cared about the color but it looks amazing! It was on sale but went off and a blue one was on sale, so ordered that one. The green one was what came! Yay team ๐๐! We got PJ s at Walmart ( I got Hello Kitty of course!) Still saving to move. Kat our granddaughters BD is coming up and going to send her $ then next month is our Doms birthday ๐. She's going to be 21 and 13 for him! She stays in touch with us and always asks for our advice ๐ and listens! Not like our daughters. One of mine hasn't spoken to me in five years. Since my other grandson took his life at 20. It seems all the good we taught our kids, jumped a generation. The grandkids got it! One made sure the weed fairy came to see us, when nobody else could or wanted to. That's a big help and blessing with the pain and challenges. I've been thinking about our lives and we've been talking about different things we've been through. All these will become stories probably told in viggies as I call em! Vignettes I started taking notes ๐ถ about times in Oregon,south Carolina, Georgia, New Orleans, CA and New York. We always wanted to buy a house and stay somewhere forever. The economy and job market changed over the years and we had to move where it was viable, until it wasn't... We had a lot of strange things happen like UFOs ๐ฝ and I'm not kidding. We had a normal life with the kids and holidays and going places. Then the landlord sold the building or jobs changed. And boom time to plan a move again and it makes it harder to write โ๏ธ that story or whatever until you settle down again. We've been through so much and the past 3 years on our own finally but dealing with our issues. Her vision problems and my everythings! I'm praying ๐ things will come together for us. My ulcers seem to be getting better ๐๐! I had an Amy organic India frozen lunch today! Man I missed eating them with rice, veggies and curry with cheese! I had some apple sauce too! Been eating a lot of granola as cereal and snacks and added wheat germ. Love peanut ๐ฅ butter the creamy type! So it's 9 PM and time to play my games. I'm glad I was able to add my gift cards and get the guitar! In time I'll get a harmonica holder, so I can play both. I've been praying for my friends here that haven't been feeling good either. I miss y'all and hope you have a blessed weekend ๐น โค๏ธ ๐ ๐ป๐ธ๐พ๐ถ๐๐๐ฟ Bye ๐ for now Dd |
Hi y'all ๐ on this Sunday afternoon ๐๐. Thanks to everyone that was awesome and supportive to me this week! Both for the past and present. I've asked some if it's cool ๐ I mention some things they've said that have encouraged me and also showed how human we all are here. We miss lost loved ones and try to encourage each other when things like bad health and other things are for us to deal with. And we keep writing or trying to! I'm going to try and post every day this week! This past week was a doozy! We did laundry on Monday and by Thursday all heck broke loose! I had my alarm set for 6 AM but was woke up at five AM. It was the care car people and the driver wanted to get us at 7 instead of 8 Am. Had appointment at 9 and meds to take. Said 7:30 was the earliest could leave. Long story short, I had conversations with a couple more people and robo calls to confirm each ride in the middle of getting ready! Sis got her second eye injection ( this time in the good eye) a lady who was waiting for the bathroom told us she's been getting the shots for a year and her sight got better! This was a blessing to hear indeed! So I was going to get a keyboard ๐น๐ถ but it turned out that it wasn't a good one. It was cheap! On the flip side I found a good guitar ( acoustic) and it's on sale. Because we sent back Alexa there's credit on Amazon! I was able to take 35 bucks in gift cards from my mist play points and it paid for most of the order! The guitar sounds good, sis had me look it up on YouTube and it's nice quality! Comes with a case,strings picks! Very excited ๐ it's coming on Wed! In the future may make a video! I'm hopefully getting better, even if slowly and optimistic ๐! Thanks for being part of my family here โค๏ธ. I found some folks in my proofing of the Blogging Bliss newsletter today and saved their blogs to follow! I hope you all have a great week! D |
Hi y'all on this Sunday afternoon ๐. Kudos ๐ to y'all that hang in there with me ๐ and let me know your still there โบ๏ธ! Yup it means a lot to have good conversations and connections with folks, when others even family aren't so close! I'm very blessed to have a core of family in touch. Love is thicker than blood many times. You can be closer to some and not even be related! So tomorrow will trade my prescription for a good one! Can't believe Dr forgot to write โ๏ธ four times a day.which in Latin is Q.I.D. ! I took medical terminology to become a Nurse! Besides all that nonsense, today is a day of remembrance for me. My then 18 years old little brother Jeffrey was killed 42 years ago today. I some ways it feels like an eternity ago, but in my photogenic mind it also seems like yesterday. Certain moments are like little videos in my mind, snippets of the spring ๐ฑ of 1982. I had moved up to Oregon the year before to get my babies and myself out of San Francisco and the abusive relationship I wanted out from. My step sister had made the move with her future hubby. It was a big change from city life to the rural mountains life in southern Oregon! I remember my 2 year old daughter falling into the mud and she was wearing light blue shirt and pants. Now covered in brown muck! I was about to get her changed but my sis said " Why? Why put on more clean clothes? She's going to keep playing and they all get dirty anyway! It took me a minute to get her point! I was so used to making sure my kids were clean and looked nice to ride the bus to the store or wherever we were going. As I looked around the kids were all ages and having the time of their life! Yeah wearing mud but laughing and it was warm outside. It was harder for me to adjust to the fact, not everyone had indoor plumbing! They were living in a tiny trailer and when I asked " where's the bathroom?" She handed me a coffee can! I thought she was joking but she pointed her fingers to the outside bushes and I got the point! In time I got a small apartment in the town of Myrtle Creek. We had a backyard and I was starting a garden, which was exciting to think we could grow our own tomatoes and such. That April I got a phone call about my mother. My aunt said " Your mother jumped off the roof again". I said " is she alright? ( I had nursed her around 1972,as a teenager and she did recover for the most part...) My Aunt sounded annoyed ( like I should have known what she was saying) " No she's dead and you have to get her buried" Later my uncle S would explain I needed to take a Greyhound to New York and I was next of kin, to be able and get her a Free Jewish Burial. Besides being in shock I thought it odd, the Free Jewish Burial thing. She taught me more about Jesus and what little she knew about the Catholic Church, from a long-lost friend named Jenny. I never met her but as a child, she took me to a beautiful Catholic Church on Eastern Parkway in Brooklyn. It was always empty when we went. I loved the red glass votive candles and the big Jesus hanging on the cross. She would pray for him to help her and sometimes said " He's my brother" So I did go to NY and it was a mess me going to an Orthodox Jewish burial! I had been to a non religious Jewish funeral for my grandma but nothing prepared me for that. The worst part was having the Rabbi yell at me for trying to say goodbye to my mom. I wasn't supposed to look at her grave but did and he snapped " Are you going to watch as we put dirt on her grave?!" ๐ชฆ Like it was the worst thing I could do. I ran off towards the back to hide and cry. My brother Jeffrey came over and put his arms around me and said" it's ok Diane, you didn't do nothing wrong,he should shut up!" My other brother said " not to worry". Flash forward to when I got back home to Oregon a few days later. I had a dream about Jeffrey. That I was walking through an alley and going to his funeral. Mrs Fox who was a friend from the Seventh Day Adventist Church told me" Not to worry about the dream. It was because I had just lost my mother." My mom passed April 10th . May 18 was a sunny day and a Tuesday ( later I would write โ๏ธ that in a song). We were out in the budding garden and they were playing with Gardner snakes ( little harmless one's) The phone rang and I went inside to answer. A friend from Brooklyn said "Diane please sit down " Her voice was weeping and I knew it was something very bad. "What's wrong Sherry?" I Asked. She told me " D I know how much you love your brother Jeffrey and he loved you. He's dead . It happened last night,he was killed on the Belt Parkway by the Verrazano bridge. I can't believe I lived through all that. I didn't expect to write about it here but,in my mind I always expected to write โ๏ธ about my real life. In the last year I decided not to because someone said no one would care. I also had to deal with my lousy health issues lol ๐. I'm still hopeful to write more. I will see how it goes from this post. I know some will be blown away but I hope people will get something positive out of it. Somehow I always kept my faith. Even if it changed from Jewish to Catholic and back and forth! Or Buddhist prayers ๐๐น๐ฟ! Or good majick for healing and prosperity for us and others. Oops I have to feed the kitty's, don't know how long I've been writing. It helped ๐๐โค๏ธ๐น๐ถ๐ฟ๐๐พ๐ชฆ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ป๐ค |