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 Through the eyes of a writer and traveler 😁! Life and some spiritual musings. |
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Welcome Y'all 🤠. I'm into animal rescue and rights. Positive vibes and activism! 😻🙏 It's been interesting for the past 20 years. Good folks on here and a great 😃 writing community. It's time for rethinking my writing and growing as a person . Sharing how to help others and ourselves 😉 has always been my motivation! Hugs 🤗 to new and old peeps! " The journey of 10,000 miles Begins with one step 🪜. --Lao Tzu What you don't like Don't do to another. Rabbi Hillel Do unto others as you would have someone Do unto you. Jesus 🙏 |
| Hi y'all 👋🤠, longtime and newer friends. This is what I just wrote in my weekly goals update of Oct 17 and OT. Here I be, hanging in there with life and it's complications! So my goal was to make it through the week ( still here!) and research making a digital book. I was going to include my sister helping me go through the over 16,000 photos plus I have between Facebook and Google photos. Thinking 🤔 I could post them to the TV so she could see them better. As it turned out she didn't know how big they would show up or if she could see them at all... She can't even see the pictures we printed up of our grandkids, that are in frames on the wall... Before finding this out, I was researching the 2 ways to show on the Smart TV ( not smart enough apparently 😔) either Wi-Fi or with a HDMI cable. Wi-Fi needed chromecast attachment. Then I realized it wasn't going to help. She said to just do the Season book anyway. I was pretty bummed out that she couldn't be involved in this project. I will continue to work on going through the possible pictures and upload them in one place. She said " You should print them up anyway and put them in an album, like we talked about." I answered" what for? You can't see them and when we pass on, there's no one to leave them to." Our family has dissolved over the past year. It's just reality but we will live on in our grandsons Matt and Dom. And what writings I leave here on WDC and other places, that will be added to my portfolio 😁. I guess I'll add this to a blog post 🤠 📯. It is my writing and our truth after all! Have a blessed weekend 🌹 😊   🪻☯️🌜🪻🎃✍️🙏🎇😻😔💐🕯️🌺📸 So I haven't been a part much of the Halloween stuff and festivities going on. I'm hoping that will change! I've been trying not to be angry or upset but it's been hard dealing with it alone. This week finally she will see the low vision specialist and find out what the bottom line is. She has $190.00 for the exam. None is paid for by insurance. She worked hard all her life but is on Medicaid and Medicare and low vision glasses aren't covered. They could help her see better to drive and read. They will be between $400.00 and $4000.00. All I can do is make a GoFundMe and pray 🙏🌹 enough people will help to give her back some of her sight. It's hard when we have to drive and I need to keep her in the right lane, depending on the light and weather. We get medical rides, but can't afford to take Uber to get to the food or drug store for me. I have to go see the gastroenterologist people and find out more about what my last endoscopy showed. If I will wake up nauseous and some mornings throwing up for the rest of my life. Or will it get better? Most of the pain med I take has a lot of Tylenol in it. And that isn't good for my liver or stomach. It doesn't always help my pain either, so I'm thinking of getting a medical Marijuana card. It's a long process and will cost money, that I'm not sure I can afford. We have been trying to save to move but having sis see is most important. So this is the most I've written ( outside of my notebook 📓) in a long time. It's also a prayer 🙏 that I don't know if it will be answered. We are doing everything humanly possible to help ourselves. Hoping for some mercy 🍀 if possible 🤞. We've gotten a few lottery tickets and scratch-offs but haven't been too lucky lately. This used to be the lucky time of the year for us. Hoping things get better. Bless y'all for prayers and good energy. Prayers for y'all ❤️ with whatever situation you're in or dealing with. These are very challenging times with no end to the price of food and everything going up, but not income. We get a raise in our check and the rent goes up. Thankfully we have a roof over our head. Maybe in time a little house with a space for a garden and an adopted dog 🐕🌹🪻🌜😻. |
| Hi y'all 🤠👋! This was just written in weekly goals ( a day late). Monday lost my momentum and didn't have a plan for the week. By Thursday worke up with some ideas 💡. To figure out how to make a digital book called Seasons. Using pictures from my Facebook ( most only exists there) To write ✍️ poems about the Seasons and include pictures of the many decorations we put together over the years for the kids and ourselves. I have over 16 thousand pictures to go through! Also sis mentioned that if I died first, all my pictures would be lost. I'm going to find a way to show them on the TV, so she can see them! ( She cancelled her phone service of 13 years, because she can't see the phone or pictures on it.) We will go over the pictures and decide which one's we are going to print out. Later to get photo albums to keep them in. More on Monday.🙏🌹😻🌲 {image:4000 🌹🌜🌹🌜🌹🌜🌹🌜 I'm doing better yet still struggling with the spine pain. It takes a lot out of me! We are still waiting for an appointment to the low vision specialist. So much is riding on sis getting some of her sight back. It's like being in a prison and waiting for e pardon. We can't even make it to the groomers to get the kitties nails done. Praying things will get better with that soon. Thanks to Morticia Wednesday Megan Rose   for the awesome merit badge! 💖Breakfast at Tiffany's,oh yes! I ordered it and can't wait to add it to my WDC album! Hugs 🤗 to y'all 🤗❤️ |
Hi y'all 🤠 👋! I just finished my weekly goals and OT update! Of course I'll include it here and then continue ☺️! Lol *******"*""""* Made it here 😁. Had the endoscopy today, Hard morning but things look better in there 😜! Having it done in a hospital made a big difference 🙏 🌹! So I did start a story this week. Named it " Journey from Gautier". It just started to write ✍️ itself and that hasn't happened in a long time. Sis insisted I get some new clothes and to write instead of cleaning so much in the morning 🌄. Going to give it a try. Tomorrow my new cat eating ramen noodles will be here! I'm excited! She didn't understand the humor of it but I explained it and she's glad it's making me happy 😀! With so much turmoil in the world 🌎 at least I can bring some joy. Praying for a rebirth 🐦🔥 in myself and for others. Going to share this in my blog. Have a blessed weekend 😊! ****""""***** And so I thought about Blogging Bliss newsletter and always glad to be part of it. It's been a few years since I first started to proofread it. I enjoy reading people's blogs and try to comment and touch base when possible. I also thought about writing a post and asking for support this week. I was pretty nervous about getting another endoscopy. The DR was cool and I told him " You have quite a lot of accomplishments and thanks so much for your service" ( he was in the Marines) He said " Thanks I was proud to serve our country" He asked if I had any more health problems arise since my last appointment. No I replied, before they put me to sleep! The Nurses were so awesome and helpful. One handed me 2 heated blankets and offers one to my sister Cheryl,who smiles and thanked her. The Asian Nurse later had a great conversation about Mahjong with us as she was getting me set up for an EKG. She had been talking about Mahjong 🀄 with another patient next door. I mentioned liking it too! Now they only make the tiles out of plastic, but the older ones were made of bone. I said " years ago we were in San Francisco and saw this beautiful Mahjong set in the window. I really wanted us to get it! Cheryl added " It was nice but was $125.00 and expensive back then!" I sighed " yeah it was!" The Nurse smiled and said. " they still are, I ordered one from Amazon it was a cheaper one for $80.00. I tried to win one and it was $500.00 and made out of plastic! Still it was lovely. I had to move my Mahjong app off the front of my phone 📱! I was playing it too much! I laughed and said " oh I get it, I like playing it too. My favorite is Farmville. A different version but playing it since the first game came out! (Even though I was in a bunch of pain because I couldn't take my pain meds or anything but thyroid pill since last night, between Cheryl trying to get my mind off of it and some of the Nurses like the sweetie above, I was very thankful for the support ❤️🙏. It helped me through a tough time and kept my anxiety down.) I was too stressed this week to reach out to anyone else here or not. It's so much easier to give others support than asking for myself. Something we were working on in therapy a few years ago but didn't resolve! Anyway thankful to be in a better headspace and sending love and hugs 🤗 to y'all. Ps tomorrow deep cleaning 🧹 and getting ready to decorate for Halloween! 🎃 |
Hi y'all 👋 🤠 it's been 2 weeks since posting my blog. I haven't been in the right headspace for writing or reviewing to be honest. Below is what I shared in goals.( I'm in the waiting room now.) I missed the Friday weekly update and almost gave up on showing up today. Last week was tough and putting words together beyond making lists was beyond my ability. We've been in a drought but Monday went to the store and on the way home,it started pouring. Sis was scared ( something that doesn't happen) because she couldn't tell where the lanes were. I kept her in the lane by saying "yes" when she asked me " Am I in the right lane?" She was also screaming at me and apologizing. Thank God 🙏 we made it home safely and know she can't drive in the rain. I'm at the eye injections place with her. I've been spending more time watching TV with her, as she can't do much else right now. We are waiting for an appointment with the low vision specialist. The glasses are our only hope... They are between $400 and $ 4000. Hoping she can get a payment plan and for what it's worth, I'll make a GoFundMe. I'm going to copy this so I can post my blog with it. I'm having a endoscopy on Friday, so update may be Saturday. This week I want to play my guitar 💜 ( the last time I played was June, when I got it.) My good friend Mabs called me this weekend and was so supportive and such a beautiful person and blessing in our life. #1 play my guitar #2 post my blog. If can will do more. Prayers for all here and especially for others struggling with health issues like me. Amen 🙏 💜💙🤍 Back to Blog 😸! It's a blessing to have a friend who understands that you aren't doing well and is there to hear your rants and encourage you to get through it all! She encouraged me to play my guitar again and not worry about making videos, just play! It's been rough not having weed for the past month. It helps with the pain and relaxes me . Some folks had promised to help with it. In the end it was lies and no deposit or return. So have given up on any help with that. Just struggling along! I miss Ballet 🩰 and hopefully will find a way back to it. It would be so easy to give up. The pain is so bad each day for a while. It's not my style to quit so here I am, for better or worse! I used to have very bad migraines for years and the past two years they stopped. I had 2 this past week and one was really bad 😞 bummer. Keep on trucking 👍 I had a great time with the kitties 😻 Maxy and Mojo hang out while I'm cleaning 🧹 🧼 the kitchen after TV and dinner. Then we have playtime 😉! I really should share some pics here 😁. They have a new toy 🪀 🧸 called a cat charmer. It's a plastic stick with a long strip of colored felt. They love to attack it! We got them a pumpkin Halloween 🎃 cardboard house and they like it 😁! I also have catnip bubbles and they like watching them fly and pop! It's a nice way to end the evening 🌆. I need to get back to cutting their nails. Getting long again. I see some other folks here are having a rough time with health too. Maybe we should get a group together... On the mend! |
| Hi y'all 👋, this has been a rough week for most people I think. 9-11 causes memories to come flooding back. Where were you 24 years ago on that day? I made this part 1 because not all of the above can be covered in a short blog post. Last year on WDC many people here posted about how 9-11 affected them. When they first realized what was happening on TV was real... People added to the many comments, including myself. I'm thinking about writing my experience as an article instead of a post or another comment. To be included later in another post. The awful news of Charles Kirk being murdered on a Utah College campus was a big focus this week... My sister and I had never heard of him before this but felt this was a horrible thing. The hate has gotten so bad and too many young people are making guns the answer to solving problems... People are talking about the spiritual warfare happening and have been for years, but it's gotten worse and more violent. People are making the wrong choices more and more... This week I was reading the Spiritual Newsletter in my WDC inbox and felt connected to something positive. To others on a positive level 🎚️. I've been having trouble reviewing for a while but today ( Saturday the 13 the of September) I gave 2 reviews and will include which ones In the hope 🙏 🤞 people may find some hope also. I had made a photo album on Facebook last month, It's called " Faith comes in many ways ❤️". I've had many over a lifetime and think about writing about it. Two ladies shared their experiences and it encouraged me to really think about sharing my experiences. These are very awesome and honest!
Why do Catholics do that?
A seekers Journey Enjoy your weekend y'all! Diane 😺 |
| Hi y'all 🤠👋 it's been a wonderful week here at WDC land! A quarter 🌜🌛💙 💜 of a century 😮😁 and still going strong 💪😺! I'm thankful to be a member here with so many great folks 😉! There was so much going on and much excitement! I'm hopeful for # 26 I will be able to be more involved than reading about all the great contests and so much fun stuff! I got some wonderful Trinkets that Story mistress created and gave some MBs from the heart 💜. I learned more about my neighbors and friends here 😉. And feel more connected and it's a big blessing 🙏❤️. This is much more than just a writing site, it's a world within a world 🌎🌍. We are all over the world and yet here we live in peace ✌️🕊️ and encourage each other to be not only better writers but better people! We cheer up and cheer on! We offer 🫴 support and prayers 🙏. A listening ear and caring hearts 🥰! We are old and young 🌱🌿 newbies and ole timers! Here for a common goal,a community that helps each other to grow 🪴 and be the best we can be! Cheers 🥂 to the 🍂🍁 Fall and to enjoy the rest of the year 😜😀! I love y'all 😚 so much. Diane 😺 and Krew Nighty night 🌌🌉! 😘 |
| I wrote this for my weekly goals 😁! This is a very big deal and special week for Story Mistress and Master! Indeed for all us Writing dot commers, old and new! I'm not sure what I'm going to join this week but that's my main goal 😺! Today was a driving lesson, finding good deals at Goodwill and big food shop. Whew It's almost bedtime but excited I got a review on Magenta and Green poem.☺️❤️ Hoping to review and share the joy! Was planning on going through old writing and copying by hand to Doc's. I'm so thankful we have a home here!💜🪻😸✍️ 💜💜💜💜💜💜🕯️🕯️ So I want to wish everyone here a happy week of celebrating 25 years together! ( I've been here for 20 and have had so much encouragement from members over the years. Awesome helpful reviews and precious friendships.) This site is a very magical important place for writers and long may it reign 😸! I had a third driving lesson today and it's going good. I'm still learning where to keep my foot and adjusting to turning the wheel 🛞 and finding the middle! We've been driving around the block past the trash and I've learned to back out from our parking space 🌌! Hugs y'all 🤗 🫂 Thanks for everything 🙏 🌹 Diane |
| Hi y'all 🤠👋 This is my week's goals post. Below 👇 more details 😜! OT It's 1:30 PM Tuesday ( my goals are a day late .) Lots of energy in the planets, because it's been nonstop since last week. This week I want to email my good friend Mabs 🩷☮️😸! She sent me an awesome card and inspiring update and encouragement. It came on Saturday just perfect for the chaos we went through the day/night before which started with me calling 911 and ended with a Uber ride home at 2 AM. I will expound on details in my New Vision blog later today! https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/dlspiritwriter That is part of my goals for the week. I had 2 driving lessons today and did very well for a 70-year-old, considering my anxiety issues and the last time driving was in my 30s. We just got back from the laundry and still no AC there, so we brought it all home to fold. Whew fried like an egg 🍳. For now sharing in my blog is about the most I can get done this week. I have to watch some videos to learn how to cut the kitties' nails. Can't get to the groomers until I can drive us there. Have a blessed week y'all 🙏😁 Oh did the proofing for the Blogging Bliss newsletter yesterday! ✌️✌️✌️ Okay 👌 back to Blog 😸 Last post on Friday I asked for prayers 🙏 and after the EMTs left,sis seemed better. She slept for a while and I made tuna and tomato salad about 6:30 for dinner. I put some of the albacore down for the kitties and Mojo ate it up but Maxy didn't want it. I looked at her and said "You're the only cat I know that doesn't want tuna cause it's albacore! Just like Cheryl! ( I had bought the wrong kind and kept it for myself since sis only likes chunky light.) About 7 Pm Cheryl was sick and in terrible pain and I saw it was getting worse not better. Ginger ale wasn't going to fix this, and told her I was calling 911. She needs a Dr at the hospital. A few minutes later the Ambulance came and 3 EMTs came in and helped her down the stairs and out the door. She insisted they " squeeze me in!" I was put in the front with the driver,a pretty young lady who I had an awesome conversation with as we drove towards the nearest hospital. I found out she also wanted to be a Pediatric Oncologist and work with children with cancer. She was building up her skills set by being a Paramedic and getting her EMT. She wasn't sure if she wanted to be a Doctor or RN . I talked about my experience and how I tried to do the same and how people had also tried to talk me out of it for the same reasons. It was very hard emotionally and I was a very sensitive person ECT. I told her what happened to me and only getting to be a Certified Nurse assistant. Which I loved to help people and she would be an awesome one! In the meantime Cheryl was answering questions and in a lot of pain, the many bumps in our old roads, didn't help. I didn't have any more business cards to share, when the Driver asked where my writing and blog were. " I'm dlspiritwriter on writing Dot Com" The took sis in and I had to go to the emergency room and wait to go back with her. I checked in with the lady at the front desk and sat down to pray and found a place to cha she rge my phone. The conversation had calmed me down but now I was worried again. I texted our granddaughter and she called right away. I went outside and lit a cigarette and told her what was going on and where we were. Soon after her mom called and we spoke also. The ER was packed with people and soon they called me to walk through the medal detector and I was brought to her room. She looked very sick and usually never did. They took blood and other tests, including a Cat scan. We were there for hours. Everyone was beyond nice and I need to give them a great review. The Doctor came in and asked "if she had ever had Kidney stones? People don't get them the first time in their seventies". She remembered having it years ago in South Carolina. ( At the time she was working for the same company for 14 years. She didn't have insurance so didn't go back for follow-up care.We lived in South Carolina then.) He explained things very well and soon we were outside having a cig as I ordered an Uber to take us home. It was 2 AM. Yesterday she went to the clinic and they called in some antibiotics. Today she gave me 2 driving lessons ( It's been years since she first tried to teach me.My younger daughter called and reminded me that I was afraid to drive back then, so no one could teach me. I totally forgot that part until she said it! I did have so much anxiety and was too afraid to take on the responsibility of driving not only myself but others. It was a mind-blowing moment for me, to realize how far I've come over the years. How I kept going to therapy to unravel the maze of what my childhood caused me to experience as an adult. Today I was brave and even though I said " I can't do it" when I first sat in the driver's seat this morning. Cheryl said " yes you can --you have to!" That as she just said was the turning point. I was afraid but faced my fears and got on with it... And that's the Gospel truth! In case she can't see better with glasses that supposedly the low vision specialist can make, I'm our only hope. ( We've left phone messages for the last month and yesterday she got a text from them. It said Lizzy was going to call today at 2:30 and set up a new patient profile. We waited until five and no one called. So we'll see what happens with that...) The both of us found out years ago, that we are the only one's to count on.Very few people have been there for us.We've figured out major moves across country and so many other situations over time.My good friend Mabs has been there for many years and is a blessing 🙏 💗. So Sis started with her driving to the pharmacy and store. Telling me what she was doing and sometimes asking me things like " Which way does the directional go for right? Up! Later I was in the driver's seat and drove around the corner to the trash and then to the mailbox. After we ate I backed up the car and drove around again! It's a very big deal! She said I'll be driving in 2 months. Wow it's a blessing and will be a miracle 💗 🙏! I need to later watch some videos to cut the kitties nails. Until I can drive to the groomers! I will be writing more about Maxy and Mojo. I proofread the Blogging Bliss newsletter here and hoping you enjoy it too. Many great ideas from Wordsmitty! Including writing about pets, weather and reading folks' blogs here, to get to know our neighbors in real time and life. I ordered a book to pray the Rosary with Carlos Acutis. I hope to share more about this millennium saint to be,on September 7 2025. Only 15 when he passed away but left such an inspirational legacy, no matter what faith you are. Bless you all I need to get back to my laundry, make my bed, have a snack and feed the kitties. I ordered a better litter box that will make daily cleaning easier. The strainer box was easier but it was too small and they were getting pee on the floor. This one has a strainer and it's covered and bigger. Got hairball meds and a new kitty toy. They get bored being indoors cats. It's from the same "Cat dancer" company we got the cat dancer toy from. Made in USA and worthwhile 💟. I'm sharing this here and with a few special people 😍 so I don't have to explain it a bunch of times! My former friend and Godmother SR. Janet Ryan used to stay in touch with me and some other people. She wrote a personal message to each but also a copy 🙂 of her lastest news! I get why she did this in the mail 💌! She sadly got Alzheimer's and couldn't be in touch. From time to time I ask the Sisters how she is doing. Bless all the people who have helped me through this life 🙏. Until next time Diane and family 😸 At least I'm writing more again! |
| I just reread my last post and appreciate the dear 2 who cared enough to comment! It helps me to know, I'm not alone in life and having the same concerns. How to resolve it is a question for another time here. I had posted my humble weekly goals and then all hell broke loose. I'm not kidding. In the Old days I would have been writing this on my Facebook page. These days I don't do it as much and in today's case,sis would be pissed 😡 probably if I wrote it there. She'd say " why did you bother to write ✍️ it there? It's not like anyone cares or gives a s--t. It's no one's business.' She never reads my blog and I'm not sure if I share it on Facebook, that she does either! She never said anything about " oh I read what you said" in it that is. Around 3 PM today I spoke to some nice folks on 7 cups 🍵 and they were nice and friendly. Pretty supportive in a short amount of time and the inspiration I needed to do my weekly goals here and thank my friends here. Sis all of a sudden was super sick and had bad pain. At first she thought it was that she'd ate too many grapes 🍇. Her favorite is back in season Muscadine black grapes. Then she thought 💭 it was food poisoning. ( She had it twice in her life and I was there to help her through it...) Then I thought it was a stomach bug 🪲🐛. Then it got worse and I Googled all her symptoms and it could be serious... I was going to take her in an Uber to the clinic near here, where we both go but she couldn't make it to stand long enough. And was stumbling to the bathroom and back. I called 911 and the Paramedics came in less than 10 minutes. They checked her out and were asking which hospital she wanted to go to. She didn't. Her vitals were good and they told her if she changed her mind, to call back. I had given her a anti nausea pill,that melts on the tongue. I showed them my bottle and it was a good idea. They said take Tylenol for the pain and see how it goes. After they left she was still dealing with everything except the pain. I had given her a Tylenol caplet. It's been quiet for the past half hour and it's 6:13 pm. I should make something to eat for dinner. She made a big pot of Tomato 🍅 sauce 🫙. Usually we'd have spaghetti tonight and she freezes the rest for the month. We stopped buying jars of sauce last year because they were getting so expensive. Five bucks a jar for the good ones. I'm going to make tuna salad or a sandwich 🥪. And if the sauce is cooled down,put the pot in the fridge for tonight and finish the dishes. A big part of my morning is ( besides taking my meds and getting my pain level down!) is getting the kitties taken care of! They split a can of wet food and I change the water and crunches. I clean the litter box every day and wash it out, once a week. I sweep and vacuum. She mops the kitchen and hallway once a week. Of course I do the dishes every night after dinner and TV! And bathroom downstairs is mine and done once a week or something. Depends on how bad I feel. I'm trying to figure out how to fit in writing. This week I wrote a lot but it was in my 📓 notebook and on pad 🗒️ paper. It really helps to have some weed but that's a problem here. Because I have to use pain meds, I can't get a medical Marijuana card. She could but it's super expensive and have to go to doctor who is registered for it. Then the health department and God only knows how much to buy it from the dispensary. We were at one last year and they weren't allowed to tell us how much or what it looks like. In Oregon there's dispensaries everywhere! Even across the street from the jail! LoL I can't believe what a big deal it is for a plant that helps so many. When there's horrible Fentanyl out there and the other nasty drugs. It helps my stress and anxiety and a little with my pain and nausea. Enough to let me write ✍️ and be creative 😀. A good soul was supposed to help and we'll see if this miracle happens. In our lives we have grown it outside and inside. Man do I miss those days though I used to get paranoid sometimes when smoking it. Damn, not these days! I can't get anything from the doctor for my nerves anymore because I need the pain meds. Oh well! Wow I really wrote a lot this time! Reminds me of my blog on Myspace back in 2007. I hope this fall 🍂🍁 I will ☺️ get this port together. Maybe I can still get that self-help book 📖 out. People have shown interest in my life and experiences in the 1970s etc. I still haven't played my guitar again but should soon. I'm playing with the idea of bringing back my show "As Is" I started making videos and shared them in my Facebook group and have ones on my long list YouTube account. Not lost just neglected! I got freaked out making my last video a month ago. You could see how sick I was. I'm looking better. My hair is halfway down my waist and I dyed it purple! Used it for my profile pic today. Said I have good and bad days! 😉😄 So thanks for being here ❤️ and giving a damn! Y'all Rock and I mean that! Maybe we should have a group to talk 🦜 about white 🤍 cases. We are the elders of WDC that's gotta mean something! Worst case is I have 10 items for eternity. Best case I have lots maybe even my life story in a book. Even if it " only" gets published here, that's pretty cool 😎. I do love it here and am grateful we can exist and expand our lives and writing here. Bye for now 👋🤠🥹🥳🤪😵💫🌛🌜🌞🌝🌚🎃😼😹🙈🙉🙊💜💙🩵🧡❤️🩷💌🖖✌️ |
| Well last post was honest but it doesn't matter. People don't want to know if you have problems. Today I was going through it badly over seeing the truth that people don't like me. Sis said " You should have known decades ago that people are like that and how can you not know those people weren't your friends or family." I'm really hurting right now but will have to figure out how to deal with it. I'm trying to figure out how to keep my portfolio going after I die. The problem is there's no one right now that I can ask to contact SM and provide a death certificate when the time comes. It's crazy I've done so much good for people all my life and yet ( besides a couple of friends that I can count on but not for this) My grown children are pathetic and after the phone calls this week I'm still reeling. One called after five years to know what to do, since my other one showed up at her house. She was afraid she might die on her couch. We told her call an ambulance. And told her how we were trying to help her these past few years, while she was in prison. Sending her books and paying to text her and doing everything to help her get on her feet. She was doing better on medication but as soon as she gets out, stopped taking it and would rather be homeless than have to " follow the rules at the shelter that was helping her get a job and life together. She left her son in another state and we've been in touch all these years. If someone didn't adopt him we were going to drive from Oregon to get him when he turned 18 and aged out from the foster system a few years ago. He's doing great and has been working for over a year at the same place. He does work on video games and even with his Asperger's has become a miracle over the years. It's all in God's hands. If I was younger and had better health, I'd maybe join a Convent like I wanted to ask a child. I'm fighting depression and wondering if my writing is worth saving. |
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