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A modest journal. |
| My life's ups and downs... |
| Lately, I am overly-sensitive... and my sleeping habits are messed up --- either I can't get to sleep or it's hard to wake-up. I took issue with something that happened over the weekend, words said versus words heard. Last night I wrote out my thoughts about the situation as if writing a letter, which opened my eyes, objectively. Today, I have one less worry to mull over repeatedly and rob me of rest. |
| For a Monday, it's been a great day! Can't believe the afternoon is almost over. I've been called to serve on another Sonbeam Via de Cristo weekend (#67) and I am pleased to be the Cha Team B Leader. His grace is sufficient. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. They normally have three Cha Cha teams; this time around they're down to two. I actually hope they move it up to three because the work is truly exhausting---especially for older people. After the last weekend, I was so run down that I got sick with a chest cold (and asthma symptoms) that lasted about six weeks. If you're the praying sort, remember me --- especially November 17-20, 2016. |
I will be attending a convention at Innisbrook in Palm Harbor this weekend. I will attend my first speaker meeting around 2:00 p.m. today, with a couple of friends. If you've never been to Innisbrook, it is a beautiful resort. People also live on the property. I posted a couple of pictures below.      |
| "Newbies" can be overly sensitive in response to a review; and some generally give lower ratings when giving a review. I have learned to take it in stride, though ofttimes it hurts my pride. I think "pride" is the problem on both sides of the fence. |
| I am irritated by the comments and attitudes of a close friend. I find myself backing away from her as a protective measure. Putting on a false smile when I am sad on the inside, makes me feel guilty. My friend just turned 80; I wonder if age has something to do with her behavior. God, help me speak with her without hurting her. I also wonder----is it her or is it me. Am I being overly sensitive. Then on the other hand she has many former friends who are not returning her calls. She talks with me about this and says that she is going to quit calling them as she doesn't want to be the only one making an effort to maintain these friendships. So, I believe her behavior is real and widespread----not just affecting me. This lady is also my sponsor in the Al-Anon program (a support program for friends and families of alcoholics). Today I find myself considering another sponsor... though I don't want to hurt her feelings. Praying about the situation seems to keep me focusing on it, and I certainly don't want to focus on it. I'd like to put it out of my mind. |
| Not sure what happened. Tried to make an entry, but it went defunct on the "save." Just wanted to say, "I'm back!" It's a mystery to me why I stepped away for so long, but it's refreshing to be writing again. |
| I've been working for an attorney in St. Petersburg since October 5, 2015. His son passed the bar and has been onboard for the last few months. It's a great place to work. I like them and they like me. It's also a family affair as my boss' wife and grandson are also here regularly. Nice. The mailman just stopped by. He's a friendly guy, always ready with a smile and kind word. Well, I work until noon so I best be opening the mail. HAPPY 4TH OF JULY! |
| There is a tropical storm in the Gulf of Mexico and torrential rain has been falling off and on since yesterday evening. It isn't so bad if you are inside. This morning, a guy came by the office from Terminex to check on termite activity. Shortly after he left the other "bug man" came. He treats for everything except termites. Other than fighting a cold since 5-23-16, I am well. |
| God is bringing a wider circle of friends into my life. I am also learning to trust Him more and more with my finances and sustenance. I have also been going through some things... The owners of my apartment were foreclosed upon. The bank bought it back at auction and actually had a local realtor break-in to the premises while I was at work. I was given no notice, no anything... just came home after working all day (on a Thursday) to a cryptic note on my door and a new door key under the mat. This happened at the end of March. I tried to contact the person who left the note, to no avail. After finally getting the door open --- the new lock was crooked and the key did not fit well, I called the police and asked them to come. Then I texted the person who left me the note and told them the police were on their way. Much to my chagrin, the police refused to do a darn thing and wouldn't even take a report. I found out just how much protection was available to individuals by our local police department --- zilch. I work for a lawyer; so I called my boss. He told me to bring the note into the office Friday morning, along with my lease agreement. The next day was Friday and I was feeling very unsafe. Luckily my daughter was off and she offered to stay at my apartment in the morning while I was at work to make sure nobody broke in. My boss wrote a letter to the realtor who broke in, asking for proof of authorization for the break-in. Meanwhile, the management company of my apartment complex contacted the realtor by telephone and assured me that this would not happen again and, further, that I could stay safely for the term of my lease. The next week, the realtor contacted the attorney I work for and told a few lies --- he said that he came by my apartment on multiple occasions trying to make contact with me and didn't think anyone was living there (even though I had a doormat and wreath on the door). He provided contact information for a fellow at Wells Fargo who, apparently, authorized the break-in. The fellow at Wells Fargo was terse. He said, "Move out or be evicted." He later offered cash for keys via the realtor and gave me several move out dates with diminishing cash increments the further out the move. I accepted the offer and began looking for alternate housing. I even tried to see if I could buy something, which fell through. I had a difficult time finding another place to rent for a reasonable price, primarily due to the short notice. After much stress, I finally called a 55-plus apartment community in Largo and, fortunately, they had a few vacancies and were running a reduced-rent special. Finally, I breathed a sigh of relief. The people at Imperial Palms Apartments said that once the background check was complete, which should take about three days, I could move in. I made preparations and began moving the evening of Wednesday, April 6. -------------------------- The move was a blessing in disguise. The place where I am living is more of a "community." It is actually like living in a neighborhood. I know my neighbors by name. I met a new friend Easter Sunday, following the church service. She is making a Via de Cristo weekend this month. I will be working on the team. I didn't move with a lot of furniture and the new place is larger and about $70 cheaper per month than what I was paying. Last weekend, I bought another couch and an end table from one of my new neighbors. She is moving back to Pennsylvania at month-end. Another neighbor is going to church with me next Sunday. I had a nice conversation with my mother on Sunday and wished her a happy Mother's Day. God is good and I am happy. |
| Last night I had another one --- in fact, it woke me up. I was sparsely clothed, which was embarrassing, yet I was in good spirits --- talking with friends, etc., at work. Somehow a gymnasium was there in the middle of everything with two ingresses and egresses through which foot-traffic was flowing. I returned to my job and there on my desk (which was a student desk as if I was in school) was my test with resulting "x's" marked through almost everything and a big "F" at the top of the page. The problems marked wrong did not make sense as I looked over them --- my answers were actually correct. Yet I was a Failure. Then I awoke... and fell in and out of sleep the rest of the night/wee hours of the morning. ------------------------- This morning I contemplated the significance of this dream. I am living like an embarrassed failure. Sad. Then I remembered Jeremiah 11:29 --- "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." He loves me and in His eyes, I am not a failure. So, I will meditate upon what He says about me in His Word and surely I will begin to see myself in a better light.  |
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