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A modest journal. |
| My life's ups and downs... |
| Wednesday, February 13, 2013, 6:14am The alarm went off at 5:20am; so, in keeping with my routine, I set the second alarm for an hour. Since I couldn't go back to sleep, got up... now I have extra time on hand. It's been a nice week so far --- other than I found out my kitty-cat has glaucoma in his left eye. They gave me some medicine, but told me it will only get worse. I will probably just have his eye removed --- apparently he is now blind in that eye anyway. Poor baby. God gave him two eyes. Saddens me. Working hard this week... It comes in spurts. I'm either so busy that I'm concerned I won't get it all done... or I'm wondering if anyone is going to give me some work. It's okay. I'll keep dealing with it. When it's slow, I get caught up on my filing, close old files, etc. When I was young, I never had to deal with conflict at work. Now that I'm older, it is much more prevalent... nothing I can't handle by the Grace of God! |
| Sunday, January 20, 2013, 3:36pm Woke up after 9:00 a.m. this morning, a little late for me. After my shower, I got dressed and left the house at about 10:25 a.m. I arrived at the Al-Anon meeting about 15 minutes late --- no chairs available; so, I was on the floor again this week. Oh, my aching back! Since I am still getting over this cold, I think today will be another movie day with more rest and relaxation. Looking forward to a pleasant work week... It's supposed to be colder, and I truly hope it is. Looking forward to payday at week-end. Then it's Tyler's turn to spend the night Friday! |
| January 19, 2013, Saturday, 9:17am Finally the weather has turned chilly, which should last at least a week. Yay! At the first of last week, it was so warm I had to run the air conditioner. The people are actually wearing coats and warm jackets here in sunny Florida. I will definitely be spending time outdoors today. Apparently my niece, Emily, has moved to Pensacola, Florida. My sister, Missy, sent me a copy of her resume. Emily is a talented girl, with good work history. I truly hope it is a good and prosperous move. When I think about my delightfully debilitating and destitute move to Alabama, my heart mourns for her. Lord show us the secret of happy contentment. Chaired at the Friends of Lois Al-Anon Meeting last Thursday. Didn't think I really had a topic, but as I look back it was clearly "overcoming character defects." I passed out word definitions and excerpts from COURAGE TO CHANGE; and though I began with escalating internal anxiety, the meeting was well-received and fruitful. God, help me to not be so quick signing up to chair in the future. May your weekend be pleasant and fruitful. |
| Wednesday, January 3, 2013, 3:47am So, I'm lonely. Broke up with the guy I was with and now I'm back to isolation. I have always wanted to own a church --- hold services and actually live there too. The other thing that I've often thought about is sharing a big house with several others, etc. We could work together and keep each other company. Maybe something like this is in my future???  |
| Saturday, December 29, 2012, 4:18pm Broke up with my beau. He moved out Thursday. Life is returning to a more even keel. Sorry it didn't work out, but very glad to be moving on. May God's love, joy and peace comfort your soul in this Happy New Year! His mercies endure forever and great is His faithfulness unto me. |
| Sunday, December 23, 2012, 8:54am Got up this morning and took P-diddy for a walk... just slipped on my housecoat and flip-flops and away we went. (I pause presently... listening to church bells ring in the distance.) Here in St. Petersburg, Florida, Jack Frost has spread his handiwork all over the grass. ...thought back to my younger days in Ohio. Nice. Actually had to put my hands in my housecoat pockets.  Since I've started walking the dog from time-to-time, my prayer life is improving. Can't help but think of God and speak with Him when I am outside viewing the splendor and wonderment of his creation. God speed. MeRrY ChRISTmaS! |
| Wednesday, December 19, 2012, 7:35am Today is feeling kind of weird... I'm wondering if I am meant to live alone in this world without a companion. It just never seems to work out for me... choices and temperment. I think I'm just too OCD/OCPD. Let go and let God! ...that's what I will do, God help me! God bless you! Happy Wednesday! |
| Monday, December 17, 2012, 7:34am ...about to start getting ready for work while I wait for the coffee to finish perking so I can pour me a cup! Have a great Monday and a low-stress work week! |
| Saturday, December 15, 2012, 8:55am This morning I am thankful that my bills are paid. I must pay the IRS $896 before February 1. Determined, I am hoping to pay at least $300 every pay period until they're paid. Yesterday, I could only send $200. I'll get it done though, Lord willing. Enough of my woes... The weather has been nice and mild in St. Petersburg, Florida. It was a bit humid early on last week, but that's moved out, thankfully! Things are well going well at work. I'm challenged, yet feeling more confident --- feeling more and more capable --- day-by-day. May my God continue to grant me favor in the workplace. Throughout much of my life I have suffered because I never learned to fully follow the rule "Look before you leap." I am most often wearing rose colored glasses, believing the ideal rather than seeing the truth --- especially relationships. I guess I just want a really meaningful relationship so much that I tend to wear blinders until the truth hits me in the face like an arctic blast. For some reason, God continues to allow me to stumble and fumble. I suppose there is a valuable lesson just beyond my grasp. I've been attending AA and Al-Anon meetings in an attempt to get my thinking in order... I've learned a lot and continue to learn with each meeting. Last night I shared something that really seemed to touch the others. It felt good. "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh," God says. That verse often chides us as we mis-speak, yet sometimes fills us with wonder and awe. I love You, Lord. Thank you for abiding with me! |
| Saturday, November 10, 2011, 8:04am --- Nightmare on 73rd Avenue North Life is flowing... "gently down the stream----merrily, merrily, merrily----life is but a dream." Actually, a nightmare last night. Woke up feeling very uneasy, almost panicky. Me and my siblings were all young and mom and dad had gone out with some friends. We were home alone. I was cleaning up the living room and was just about finished when some guy came over --- he proceeded breaking things and making messes that I frantically tried to clean up --- knowing in the back of my mind that the sh-t would hit the fan if my parents came home to find the house in such a state. I went out and bought a replacement for one of the things that was broken, and it was then broken as well. I became more and more frantic as the hours passed because the messes were being created faster than I was able to clean them up. My siblings were laughing at me. When my parents finally arrived home---with friends---I was almost out of my mind with frustration. I began to explain the situation and they spewed hatred toward me through words and action. It seemed my efforts were in vain. They saw me as a maniac... and I suppose my frantic level of frustration had risen to such a level that I appeared to be unhinged. I was told to get my stuff and get out as soon as possible --- to which I responded, "I will leave this weekend." Since my job didn't pay well it would be hard and I would need to use my entire paycheck to put down on a place to live. -------------------------------------------------------------- When I awoke, my whole being was in a state of residual alarm. I then began to process what had happened and to look for my part in it and what I could and should have done differently. |
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