%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
One man's journey to find the way home |
|
I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from. After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit. I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY? Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation.... WELCOME!! |
| I am in the midst of sorting thru how to provide excellent care for my wife Sharon. The best lesson to learn is that I am not alone. God is providing helpers at every turn. I need only open my eyes and heart to see. I will need to recover my presence at writing.com if I am to survive. I am glad to be a part of something a lot bigger than me. |
| I am not sure I have ever felt so down. At the moment I can not see how Sharon can take care of herself. Things have gone from bad to worse. Now I am faced with leaving work for a time and it does not feel good inside. I am not sure how much more I can take of not knowing what lies ahead. Life is difficult. Sometimes all one needs to do is look around you. I see piles and piles of papers and mail. Much of it has little or no relevance. I have done nothing because Sharon likes to have control. Unfortunately the things she says reveal she has little or no control. I go to work and she feels useless. What do I do now. Continuing to work is clearly wrong. Until I can clean up a mess that includes months of laundry that has not been done I am only going to see things get worse. |
| Fear grips me. Two people in the past, one with addiction and a story to feel bad about and the other a son who has been in jail taking money from an adopted mother. Should I feel suspicious that he is wanting to get to know her thru the addict, that is mother is vulnerable and I wounded in my own way. Help me God to discern truth from lies. |
| Help me know God how to love others, my wife with your eyes. To you be the glory. |
| The greatest gift someone gave was reviving my account. I currently going thru a scary difficult time and writing is good therapy for me. Two days ago my wife was having tremors' and had difficulty standing and asked me to call an ambulance. From there it has a difficult humbling journey. I know suffering in ways I never did. We were in Er from about 1pm to 11pm, they did testing and told us we were good to go. We got home and two hours later my wife is shaking violently waking me up. She is drooling out of right side of mouth unresponsive. I call the ambulance and the dispatcher keeps me on phone till they arrive. My wife left me and then started coming back to life. She woke up not remembering anything except entering ambulance. We go to Er. She asks for coffee. She has not drank anything in a couple days. Soon after she falls asleep only to start having tremors, convulsions, difficulty breathing, blood out of side of her mouth from biting her tongue. On top of that she wet herself. She has been confused and more asleep than awake since then. It is painful and yes I suffer and yet not alone. Some part of me wants the suffering, another part no. It is like being in labor wondering what good can be redeemed from this. |
| I like the nuanced celebration of life. Get up and look up as if God has something to say thru someone or some part of natural life and I am worth giving this unique message to. Today it was looking at the trees and being reminded of my story of being lost and found. Look up and see and know that God is love and hears the hurt of a nation and people and eternally delivers hope |
 Log in to Leave Feedback |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
