One man's journey to find the way home |
I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from. After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit. I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY? Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation.... WELCOME!! |
The Patriots are officially awful. They can not do anything. It is painful. It is Christmas. No room in the inn, so what if anything can be redeemed. |
I hope to have priorities. I pray I will mail my cards pronto. I hope to get addresses soon enough. It was a cryptic day. I get a call from sis I could get some money and yet not till after Christmas. I am worn out with expectations Goals for day: 1. Get ready for virtual party sooner than later. 2. Write something 3. Call the 401k place 4. Walk and walk 5 take care of wife 6. Look in storage, organize or get stuff out 7. Dentist? 8. How do I get to airport problem solve 9 Christmas cards gift for grand kids 10. Take wife out to eat if she is up to it. 11. Call Dr. Or text 12 exercises and soak feet |
2 and one half hours. I am so tired. God give me strength. |
How to retrieve my soul. In the midst of opportunity to work. I am faced with 35, 00 0 to end november. I will see. I am finishing November. 2 more weeks. Love the one you're with. |
I am feeling the gravity. I now have six days till a day off. Today should be okay. In sixteen days the year ends and I have eight or nine days left, which seems like nothing. I am tired. I feel frustrated about maybe needing a two week quarantine after a four day visit. It seems ridiculous. One day at a time. Maybe two weeks would not be that bad. I am past caring!! |
Getting there. It is hard to believe this day is about over. I still am not happy about all the money spent in November. There is way too much, around 4000 dollars. I am glad to enter December. Hopefully it will get better. |
I am faced with working like it or not. It puts a tough taste in my mouth. The bigger problem is I can not afford medicare out of the gate. I need to hang in there. God will provide. I get the feeling I made a mistake along the way. I need to slow down and smell the roses. Any other approach is bound to kill me. I work tonight. I will need a nap at about 5 pm or so. God grant me strength. Help me to remember you will always be there for me. |