You are a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. James 4:14 |
4300 views as of 01/14/25
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Aye, here's the dab of brilliance I fool myself into believing. (And now to live up to the spot I've put myself into.) There's a cat in my mind that wants to be shown affection but it annoys all that attempt to provide it. There's a moose in my belly that is fattening itself for a winter hardship that never comes. If I were to steal some bread would it be a sin? No, it wouldn't because that'd only happen if I were starving or crazy... and I've rarely skipped a meal. Creativity is a cat, That prowls inside my mind, It desperately seeks affection, But it's extremely annoying, And doesn't get along with the moose in my belly. |
A shadow shades its way, As obvious menace, Reposed on stained carpet, Slight crack to black crevice. |
I tried to write a poem, That had no words or rhyme. I sat there for hours, 'Til I ran out of time. I tried to sing a song, That didn't have a tune. My mother said, "How nice," But others left the room. I tried to drive a car, That didn't have a wheel. All I could do was sit, And listen to it squeal. |
On my simple bed I sit, And wonder in my mind's eye, Where my ashen corpse will fit, When time comes for me to die. Do my thoughts bring you woe? I ask because I want to know. Whose fingers shall my dust pass? Where shall my gray cloud drift? My questions matter as a glass, Concerned by sunlight through a rift. When my time on earth is through, My true death will die with you. For none shall be a rock nor stone, Nor disturbance in the earth, Nothing to tell of my flesh and bone, Without suggestion of my birth. I will leave this world behind, Let soul, spirit, and life unwind. When all the stars and rocks fade, When energy levels dissipate, The universe but timeless shade, And nothingness the final state, Memory will be the world of man, When God is left alone again. |
Okay! I know it's been awhile... but don't expect anything special. Most loud things make great alarms, not because you can hear them from far away, but because they are so obnoxious they kick you into action. My mom's call to me to wake up and get ready for school was heard quite plainly but easy to ignore until she turned up the grate o'meter which curdled my backbone like fingernails on a chalkboard. That's all I have to say about that. |
After my brother's death two month's ago, I've become the father figure in my 14 year old grand-niece's world. I've never had children or responsibility for them, excluding a few very young sailors under my command in the Navy. Many of them were, how should I put this nicely, idiots. My grand-niece is not an idiot because you must have a brain to be an idiot. She is more like an empty ball mason jar. You can tell it to clean it's room, stay off the computer, wash the dishes but it isn't going to happen. My fiance is having a very good laugh at my attempts to educate this young girl who likes talking to boys over her computer more than eating. When I try to give her a chore to do I have to answer every excuse and think of every situation that could possibly interfere with her completing said assignment. Her room needed cleaning. Her excuse was that she couldn't find the trash can. I presumed it was buried under a pile of clothes and blankets she'd kick off her bed. I restricted her from her computer until she cleaned her room. I told her to come to me and I would be the judge if the room was clean. After two hours I wondered why she hadn't come to me. I found that she was busy cleaning her rock collection in the bathroom... I understand she hadn't been on the computer but, c'mon.... My fiance says, with a snicker, that her rock collection is kept in her room so it's technically part of her room cleaning. This is a conspiracy! |
Like exposing candy from inside it's metallic wrapper, I return to my sweet calorie-laden blog. However this meeting is not so much like candy as it is like fruit juice.... a little healthy vitamin drowning in natural, yet still deadly, sugar. Yes, the recent death of my brother has afforded me the gift of negativity that feeds my process of finding the joys in life. It's been about 2 months now and although I'm not there yet, I can feel the yeast of creativity fermenting in the swirling gruel of grain. Get your personal straws out people... Soon there's going to be bittersweet beverage in your chug-a-lug mug.. |
Had to take a little time off... My brother in Law died of liver cancer last Sunday and my fiance went into the hospital for a heart attack on Monday... Hell of a start for the new year... I tried to write a poem either for my brother in law or my fiance but could only find words for Jesus. |
9:55 am My face feels like a puffer fish has exploded inside it, but the warm coffee soothes and distracts from any negative feelings I have on this day after Christmas. Have you ever forgotten to give a present to someone on Christmas and then decided they had enough so you decide to save it for their birthday? What a cheapskate I am... I feel like Jack Benny just took a dump in my heart... My heart goes out to all those who are struggling with difficulties this Christmas… Life and death goes on even through celebrations and anniversaries... Is dying any worse on a holiday like Christmas or not? My mother died practically at the stroke of midnight on New Years. We could hear Dick Clark's rocking New Year's on the Tv in the next room. What a mind scrambler... |
10:46 am As a Born Again Christian, one of the dilemma I've been having is how to resist the sins of the flesh... the ones I've always enjoyed so much... the ones that feel so good. The ones so easily assessable over the internet. You know the ones of which I speak. Of course I know "The wages of sin are death," but what does that really mean? It occurred (or was revealed) to me that maybe it means something more than my soul being condemned because of it. I know that's pretty bad but it doesn't really effect anyone else but me and I've always been able to put myself last. Even knowing that Christ was tortured and was killed because of my sin wasn't much better of a deterrent. After all he was the sacrificial lamb and was born to die in my place. What if the wages of sin are death meant that when we sin, people die because of it. Maybe strangers, someone we know, but someone somewhere down the line actually lose their life because of each and every sin that I cannot resist. When I admire the shape of a young girls behind, someone dies because of it. When I make three trips to a buffet table, someone dies. When I curse someone who frustrates me, when I skip church, or when I speak ill of my deceased father the result is that there is death that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't sinned. Even if it's just a possibility, isn't it worth the mind set to be delivered from temptation? |