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You are a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. James 4:14 |
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| After my brother's death two month's ago, I've become the father figure in my 14 year old grand-niece's world. I've never had children or responsibility for them, excluding a few very young sailors under my command in the Navy. Many of them were, how should I put this nicely, idiots. My grand-niece is not an idiot because you must have a brain to be an idiot. She is more like an empty ball mason jar. You can tell it to clean it's room, stay off the computer, wash the dishes but it isn't going to happen. My fiance is having a very good laugh at my attempts to educate this young girl who likes talking to boys over her computer more than eating. When I try to give her a chore to do I have to answer every excuse and think of every situation that could possibly interfere with her completing said assignment. Her room needed cleaning. Her excuse was that she couldn't find the trash can. I presumed it was buried under a pile of clothes and blankets she'd kick off her bed. I restricted her from her computer until she cleaned her room. I told her to come to me and I would be the judge if the room was clean. After two hours I wondered why she hadn't come to me. I found that she was busy cleaning her rock collection in the bathroom... I understand she hadn't been on the computer but, c'mon.... My fiance says, with a snicker, that her rock collection is kept in her room so it's technically part of her room cleaning. This is a conspiracy! |
| Like exposing candy from inside it's metallic wrapper, I return to my sweet calorie-laden blog. However this meeting is not so much like candy as it is like fruit juice.... a little healthy vitamin drowning in natural, yet still deadly, sugar. Yes, the recent death of my brother has afforded me the gift of negativity that feeds my process of finding the joys in life. It's been about 2 months now and although I'm not there yet, I can feel the yeast of creativity fermenting in the swirling gruel of grain. Get your personal straws out people... Soon there's going to be bittersweet beverage in your chug-a-lug mug.. |
Had to take a little time off... My brother in Law died of liver cancer last Sunday and my fiance went into the hospital for a heart attack on Monday... Hell of a start for the new year... I tried to write a poem either for my brother in law or my fiance but could only find words for Jesus. |
| 9:55 am My face feels like a puffer fish has exploded inside it, but the warm coffee soothes and distracts from any negative feelings I have on this day after Christmas. Have you ever forgotten to give a present to someone on Christmas and then decided they had enough so you decide to save it for their birthday? What a cheapskate I am... I feel like Jack Benny just took a dump in my heart... My heart goes out to all those who are struggling with difficulties this Christmas… Life and death goes on even through celebrations and anniversaries... Is dying any worse on a holiday like Christmas or not? My mother died practically at the stroke of midnight on New Years. We could hear Dick Clark's rocking New Year's on the Tv in the next room. What a mind scrambler... |
| 10:46 am As a Born Again Christian, one of the dilemma I've been having is how to resist the sins of the flesh... the ones I've always enjoyed so much... the ones that feel so good. The ones so easily assessable over the internet. You know the ones of which I speak. Of course I know "The wages of sin are death," but what does that really mean? It occurred (or was revealed) to me that maybe it means something more than my soul being condemned because of it. I know that's pretty bad but it doesn't really effect anyone else but me and I've always been able to put myself last. Even knowing that Christ was tortured and was killed because of my sin wasn't much better of a deterrent. After all he was the sacrificial lamb and was born to die in my place. What if the wages of sin are death meant that when we sin, people die because of it. Maybe strangers, someone we know, but someone somewhere down the line actually lose their life because of each and every sin that I cannot resist. When I admire the shape of a young girls behind, someone dies because of it. When I make three trips to a buffet table, someone dies. When I curse someone who frustrates me, when I skip church, or when I speak ill of my deceased father the result is that there is death that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't sinned. Even if it's just a possibility, isn't it worth the mind set to be delivered from temptation? |
| 3:14 It seems the farther one is away from what is being observed the more foreign in nature is the observed. As we chase the sun in our travels on earth we experience many different and seemingly confused cultures who look at us as if we come from another dimension. As we back away from our planet to observe the earth chasing the sun on it's rotations through the milky way we see the desperation of a pebble resisting and attracted to a powerful force exerted on us by our star. Outside of our solar system we see the competition of the planet waiting their turn in line as if in the turn styles of Disneyland's Space Mountain. We see comets and meteors attempting and sometimes accomplishing cutting in line to gain entry into the Sun's wild ride. Around our solar system are all the other star's self absorbed with their own planets chasing them as if they were paparazzi and fans begging for a touch of stardom. Amongst them are others star's attracting their own planetary system for different reasons. Some are rich, attracting businessmen, the religious with the spiritual, the resourceful for those in need, the creative with patrons, teenagers with their cliques, etc. They all live as the center of their own worlds oblivious to their slow migration |
| 2:09 pm This shortest day, this day of instability, of the farthest extent of our wobbling journey, this winter solstice. What Napoleon complex infects the nature of our condition? What compensation will there be for this extreme? Wisps of sunlight are dispersed and filtered through a greater density of atmosphere casting ghostly shadows across waves of snowdrifts. Continuing my hibernation I notice the weakness of illumination the paler of lifelessness. |
| 8:05 am no money no food no drink no shoes no feet no legs no arms no mind no heart no soul... poverty 2:30 pm That seems just too easy... I want to relieve my readers of the poverty of fascination, the lack of amazement of a world of miracles. I want to place inside one's mind the image of a true masterpiece
11:40 pm So in a few minutes it will be the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year and I'm asked, what will I do to commemorate the solstice.... Well, it starts in 20 minutes and I'm here writing and eating a couple oranges... maybe I'll begin a tradition with that. If I begin a tradition doesn't that mean I'll have to keep track of when the solstice comes around next time? Frankly I don't like taking on the adde3d burden... Keep It Simple Stupid.. I guess civilization wouldn't have progressed as far as it has with that kind of attitude. This orange is very good by the way... I have my silver stack setting on my desk where I've been organizing some new coins I received today... counting treasure might be a good tradition... I don't remember having anything planned for tomorrow... maybe a few things I put off from yesterday... I been meaning to organize my important papers... not sure of how that would relate to the solstice... more like spring cleaning, isn't it? There are the things I do everyday like showering, dishes, make the bed... but that wouldn't be special would it? Less daylight, eh? As if to say Time is short? Yuck! My second orange is rotten on the inside... hope that's not some sort of omen... curse of the rotten orange on winter solstice! Four minutes before the winter solstice begins... Just enough time to take my nighttime meds... brb... Could make like new years and make resolutions like brushing my teeth twice a day or eating healthier... get an early start on failing those. I keep coming back to what I do everyday that is good and fun, like writing poetry, playing guitar, singing old time country songs... maybe that's it! A day to do all those things I love to do on a daily basis anyway... a reaffirmation of what I like... it's been a while since I painted a landscape, I could get back into that.... What else? I like this writing but with more abstraction... Hey, look! It's 12:05... The Winter Solstice has began! Dancing naked in my house with all the curtains drawn, I celebrate the beginning of winter's solstice! |
| 12:24 pm It's that time when all the entries to the Writer's Cramp are in and waiting for the judges choice to win... what an exciting time.. waiting to see if the judge does the right thing by choosing my entry, haha... Of course I'll have it to do over again at 4pm for the 24 syllable poem contest. When I think of all the things I've learned about poetry,,, Dave is another big influence. I take special pride when one of my works wins a contest over his, haha... because I know how good he is and I respect his works so much. Are you ready for the gooblety goop? Shoop shoop poop the bed... hahaha... I wanna have a baby, which is weird for a 63 year old man... I don't mean to adopt, but to experience the joy of being ripped apart at the crotch, losing a critical amount of blood, and after the baby is out having all the attention on it while I fight to stay alive... yeah, sounds like fun, don't it? Somebody give me a prompt! |
| 5:26 am who is this, what is that, why have I spent so much of my life trying to gain approval? They say it's natural and maybe it is but it just seems that my choice would be to not seek it out to not need to seek approval, to free my desire to seek approval, to risk disproval without need for approval, root word prove, to prove your words, will you approve my words if I write them or should I really care, if I share the words I approve would you care to disprove them? Don't be the one who needs to seek approval of the shared words others naturally disapprove. . The result is....
4:50 pm Use the SAVE AND EDIT function!!!!! Just lost a whole lot of beautiful babble... but luckily I copied a bit to the clipboard before I did... There's a problem with the present I've sent to you for Christmas the one I searched so long and hard fighting hordes of greedy people Okay, I ordered your present online while reclining nude on memory foam the furnace maintained 75 degrees as snow drifted on the window sill It was a rare treasure perfect for you Something I'd been saving months for to reflect how I treasure you in my life someone to whom I owe my very existence Okay, it was a little gadget-like thing something they called a thingamabob a trinket because I know you like trinkets just like the trinkets you always send me Soooo... what more can be done to recover your gift? I've emailed the company's manufacture, the online site, the Better Business Bureau and called everyone I know for advice. I've had my cousin, the computer wiz look at my system, to track functions, and search the web. I've gotten promises that a replacement might be sent but not in time for the holidays. Are you still living in New Jersey? My fingertips are raw from all the typing. I've email the company's online site, the item's manufacture, and the BBB. Jacked, tracked, hacked my fingers raw Do you still live in New Jersey? You know I got a life too... it's the thought that counts anyway, I'm not getting any younger, Look, I'll do the best I can but don't your hopes up.. You know what/ Forget about it, things happen for a reason, don't they? Oh well, there's always next year! Okay! Here's the end result!
6:03 pm No winner on the 24 Syllable Contest BUT did someone say TINSEL? HAHAHAH! Silvery streaks of rainbow colors dancing like the glitter inside an astral body. WOW! Could it get easier? I think not! |
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