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Edited

I

don't need any help driving myself crazy. I have a keyboard, and the perverse will to use it. Rather like the flails of a penitent.
         I seem to have three or five thumbs. This proven whenever I set out to write "this is" and, absent of mind, drop the "is".
          Worse, much worse, is the way the cAPS lOCK key seems to lurk under my third or fourth thumb. I've re-written large blocks of text over and over after pranking myself in this is way.
         I read for proof with obsessive intensity. I would like for the reader to believe that I do these things out of deliBERATE IRONy. I don't know who I think I'm kidding ...
         Seems that it might be past time to ask for help. But I did, back in August. "Case-saving Grace"   I even tucked a measly GPk into the envelope. A month-and-some later, I'm still on my own.
         Perhaps I'll download another copy of Notepad++. In the meantime -- I removed the keycap. My Caps Lock hath offended me, and I have plucked it out!
         What to do, what to do about that evasive "be" verb. Hm-m-m ...


You can do that, my friend. If you have a keyboard made for gaming (Corsair, Logitech), the vendor likely provides an application that fits between Win7/X and your hardware.
         You can also find software that will alter Windows, allowing you to re-map any old thrift-store keyboard. Some will actually write changes to the Registry, so be careful. See the page --


         If only I had known, right? Well, then I wouldn't have gotten to rave, bitch, moan, complain, wail, yipe and cry about it.
         Fun first, then research.
I used to have a little program that enabled me to deactivate Caps Lock but it got upgraded out of existence by Windows. Since then the problem hasn't been quite annoying enough for me to go looking for a new deactivator. Thanks for the info.

By the way, about that Pause/Break key. Back in the Eighties, I spent some time feeding and grooming dinosaurs for the Air Force. They lived in a ruthlessly air-chilled habitat and ruminated throughout the night.
         Before development software grew to be competent to spot the obvious, programmers were trained to write "loops", programs set to repeat until a stated condition was satisfied (dountil) or voided (dowhile).
         It was possible, and all too common, for a novice programmer to write a loop and misstate or misplace the limiting condition. This was called a "doforever".
         Legend at Keesler AFB in the day had it that they replaced the Pause/Break key four times before the unit Commander authorized a jar of Testor's paint.

F

act is a flat line. Truth is a bell curve. Consensus is the space between.

I respect your reservations, James Heyward . I think I got this wrong by one word. How about --

Fact is a flat line. Faith is a bell curve. Consensus is the space between.

         To stick with the word truth, I would have had to put it in quotes. For this aphorism, snark was the wrong place to land.
         I offer my humble thanks to Boogedy Beastie , Sobriquet , TaH20 and, of course, James Heyward for their encouragement as I test and develop this aphorism.
         Graph on the way, as soon as I figure out the compound curve in MS-Paint.

I figured that was the intended meaning. It’s a brilliant aphorism. Especially since it takes a moment to process. Reading it feels more like understanding or learning than acknowledging.

A solid sounding board that rings true on the return is a great asset. Thanks again, James.
Edited

A

couple of days ago, I learned that James Heyward does not use a goth keyboard. Boogedy Beastie tells me that hers puts the Pentagram key in the upper corner. Let's assume that's the upper lefthand corner. Now, when she sits at her keyboard, there's no Escape.
         I think I'll stick with my Corsair 101.

Edited

Tenth in the series of ONStyle Reviews

 On Ninety-nine Reviews  (E)
Lessons Learned

Edited

I


am honored. Thank you, James Heyward

Merit Badge in Reviewing
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For the most interesting reviews I’ve read on WdC


James has been low-key for awhile while he works off-line. I look forward to buying his book. He takes no prisoners.

Eighth in the series of ONStyle Reviews: Review of "Baby Series"

 
FOLDER
Baby Series  (13+)
Three friends, Two Left, One Taken.
#2191789 by Boogedy Beastie


PENT-+-CR to set Auto Linefeed

I’m not quite sure what a goth keyboard is, let alone what one would look like. I didn’t think my affinity for The Crow’s original Motion Picture soundtrack was sufficient bona fides for my induction into the goth community (I buy my clothes at Walmart and the thrift store) but who am I to question the Scribe. So here it is, folks. My keyboard (apparently of the Goth variety) lacks a pentagram button. It does have a fair amount of cigarette ash and what I hope are the crumbs of a grilled cheese sandwich between the keys. And there is a shameful amount of dust that has been accumulating over the past month.

Here’s a riddle: if I said I was a goth before it was cool to be one, would that make me a goth or a hipster? It’s a trick question, it was never cool to be goth. I’m just kidding. Peter Murphy is king.

Okay, so this is me being tone-deaf, to the error of conflating horror with "goth".
         Perhaps a better term would have been "demonic"?
         Up until yesterday, my keyboard was in worse shape than James'. It had gone half-spastic. I had to take it apart to clean it.
         I'm lucky that it still works. I saved five bucks at the Goodwill that went into a nifty desk lamp and some peejays.
         Mea culpa, James. No offense meant.
No apologies necessary. 😀 I was just having a laugh. Don’t sell your intuition short. From the time I saw The Crow’s until my late teens I dressed up as Eric Draven every Halloween. And I met my wife in a Vampire themed chat room when we were in our early teens.
Edited

Ninth in the series of ONStyle Reviews: Review of "Crustbin Thistlebum"

STATIC
Crustbin Thistlebum  (E)
An unwilling fairy becomes a hero and ruins his life
#2198672 by NordicNoir

And Frodo was once a cobbler.
Edited

Seventh in the series of ONStyle Reviews: Review of "The Little Pirate That Could"

 
STATIC
The Little Pirate That Could  (E)
A little pirate learns to chase her dreams
#2170602 by Jenstrying

A tale worth chasing.
Edited

I

may have learned as much from music as from stories. Recently, here on the Newsfeed, one of us brought up pop music malapropisms -- song lyrics famously mistaken for something else. More precisely, "mondegreens".
         Suppose the songwriter did it deliberately. The song that shredded a million phonebooks, "Jenny (867-5309)" offers up this couplet:

"Jenny, Jenny, you're the girl for me.
You don't know me, but you make me so happy."

         Lots of words begin with "h" and end with "y". Only one is a rhyme with "for me". The rhyme is not precise and the word is not radio-friendly. But the censors of the Seventies nodded. Let there be confetti.
         If you like your music with a beer back, you'll like the 1995 cover of "Torn", by Ednaswap. The 1997 hit cover by Natalie Imbruglia upped the tempo and sharpened the edges, but it's otherwise a reading close to the earlier take. Second verse, lines five and six:

I don't care, I have no luck.
I don't miss it all that much.

         By the time 1993 rolled in, original vocalist Lis Sorensen had no need to sublimate her anger, like "good-girl" singers from Judy Garland to Karen Carpenter. "... (A)ll that much" doesn't sound all that mad to me. I think I know what Sorenson was singing between the lines.
         These blatant examples may create the impression that the only reason to use implication is to hide a profanity or an obscenity. That is not my argument. I argue many ways to express an R-rated sentiment. I argue many ways to use implication.
         And I invite you to create a few examples in your own work.
Edited

Sixth in the series of ONStyle Reviews: Review of "Clueless"

Clueless  (13+)
Two older fellers conversing on a park bench, but one is more clueless than he knows...
#2198955 by Fangus

A penny and a sharp twist.

Fifth in the series of ONStyle Reviews. Review of "Enlightenment"

 Enlightenment  (13+)
A brief story about enlightenment. Third place in Tweet Me a Story Contest Round 96.
#2197549 by Beholden

Much bigger on the inside.