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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
WOW, Thankful Sonali! Vegans/vegetarians are really strict. I still have to ask my wife about some culinary choices, but I have learned, that when vegetables get wet and slimy on the bottom, it IS time to throw them out. More goodness for the compost pile. WIN-WIN!

Thank you for leaving much to the imagination, but with your leave I should eschew my imagination as to where those three leaves went. Some things are better not known.

Great video! Smart Dad to keep the kids entertained, during COVID. No worries here. Great Respect! Much applause!

Poor guy in the story. He just needed to go to chef school, since some of the best cooks in the world are, indeed, men. The man could be great then as a sous chef singing, "suss-sussudio" with Phil Collins. Then, he could help with two lines of income, cooking and singing. Greater respect at home. WIN-WIN!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent poem, Tim. Wise words to workers, who would be wise. Focus, clarity, quickness, accuracy, and determination are all important skills to keep in our hearts as workers.

The poem's form is very familiar to me, since I often follow this pattern. The rhythm shows quatrains of two consistently equal couplets of iambic tetrameter followed by iambic trimeter. The rhyme scheme is a-b-a-b. Well done.

"Work fast, but work well, while working fast." Important points to remember. Some can work well, but not fast. Others can work fast, but not well. To work well and fast at the same time is a rare tandem skill.

Thank you for sharing this poem, Tim Chiu. WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
WOW! "Deeply flawed", you said a mouthful there. I'm so grateful for the Merits of Jesus, that the Lord saw us "the way we are," providing hope for us, that we could be redeemed, made hopeful, and fit for the Master's Table forever. (I Corinthians 15:3-4, KJV)

"What a Friend we have in Jesus!" Great HOPE! Great JOY! Great LOVE! Great POEM!

Five quatrains of two sets of couplets of iambic tetrameter & iambic trimeter in tandem for the rhythm. a-b-a-b rhyme scheme.

Powereful thoughts! Encouraging words. Amazingly done, Phyllis! WRITE ON!

Jay (aka "Stan")
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
JCosmos, I'm sorry, too, like Dave is. Too many times in my life thus far, I've dealt with sleep issues, which include nightmares. I had one this morning, just before getting up for the day.

You followed the poem structure very well.

Line #2, I've had that fear, too, but since you already know my beliefs and how I try to handle fear of that nature, I'll just say if I can ever be of help, just send me a private email.

Friendship means compassion is needed, while respecting another's space. Friendship doesn't require total agreement, just the ability to honor another human.

WRITE ON! Jay
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
WOW! 60 in June is it? You have about five months on my wife, which means you are both still rather young. I'll be the Books of the Bible in the new year... I'll give you a minute. *Wink*

I'm grateful with you that you still have your parents with you on Planet Earth. Cherish them every day, even at the long distance. Back in the 90s my brother lived in Taiwan. My Dad was thrilled when he learned how to send him an email "for free" on his Tandy 1000. I can still remember those $50 telephone calls, before that. Texting and social media have their benefits these days for situations just like yours. *Smile*

Good to hear about your family. "Cheese factory," huh? Better him than me, I would eat up all my paychecks in cheese. *Laugh*

Your sister and our four parents are no doubt enjoying a great Christmas in the Presence of the Lord. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." (author unknown to me.) Indeed. "No more pain." Such a good gift for all five of them.

I'll keep your church situation, prayerfully on my heart. Give yourself grace. The Lord does. This may be a testing of your faith. I've been experiencing that in the past few years myself. "That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls." (I Peter 1:7-9, KJV)

This is a great blogpost. I've no commentary on the process, grammar or spelling. The examples and encouragement from my own heart are for the purpose of agreement. Well said. I'm so glad you're at peace about all these things. Blessings Always, Dear Joyful Sister. Jay (aka "Stan")
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you, Tim. This is an excellent poem.

My father was much like your father. He could not be seen out in public without a tie around his neck accessorizing a nice button-up shirt.

During his last years on Earth we occasionally got him to go out in a casual outfit, but it was his nature to be professional-looking as apparently your father was.

Your poem has a consistent a-b-a-b rhyme scheme with rhythms of iambic and anapestic meter, three or four per line.

Nicely done. WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks, Rhychus, for a fun trip through a Most Excellent poem!

Looks like this was intended to be a song. Three verses of 8 lines each with a 5 line chorus in between the verses. Every chorus shares the same words.

Charity, advertising, and fashion shows have a common thread, depending on the personality behind them. They can all be great successes or serious flops because they are consistently niche markets.

The format of the verses are consistent as best I can tell. Rhythmically, each verse of 8 lines has the first seven lines using tetrameter, and #8 is trimeter. Each line is some combination of iambic and anapestic meter.

The five-line choruses range rhythmically from dimeter to trimeter and tetrameter.

The rhyme schemes are as follows: Verses are a-a-x-b-c-c-x-b; Choruses are a-b-a-c-c

Nicely done. WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Great poem, Viv. What a friend, and companion this Bella has been for you. The Lord provided you with such a gift.

As for the poem, the lines appear to be pentameter (5 feet each). There are some rhymes, but I couldn't identify a rhyme scheme.

WOW! Rescue dog. What a helper. I'm so happy for your time together.

Blessings Always. WRITE ON!
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Review of Monday Madness  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely done, Tim. I completely understand. The work week began for me, and I would say most people as the school week of youth. "Five days of school in a row. How will we ever get through that?" Friday afternoon after school was my favorite moment of the entire week. No school for two whole days.

As a man with a job, it was very much the same, since I was a schoolteacher right out of college.

Then as your poem indicates, "Five days of work in a row. How will we ever get through that?" Friday afternoon after work was my favorite moment of the entire week. No work for two whole days.

This great free verse poem tackles the subject that most of us experience: Work. Great poem. WRITE ON!
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Review of La Bene Vita  Open in new Window.
for entry "Recital Time!Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Much Respect, Brandiwyn🎶 v.2026 Author Icon! What you are doing as a teacher is such a gift to the world! Teaching children and adults to play an instrument strengthens minds.

I can never thank my piano teachers enough for the gift they helped me to hone. I started with lessons in the summer after first grade, continuing with lessons, until the summer before the 11th grade when I believed my skill was ready to learn more on my own. Recitals were always scary because I wanted to do my best, but they helped me to play in public. By the Grace of God, I continue to share this gifting every Sunday morning as our church pianist.

A weekend full of activities and opportunities to encourage your music school, full of amazingly skilled musicians! How wonderful! Have a great time!

This is a great blogpost! It brought a tear to my eye, just thinking about how strengthened the students will be when they realize all they have accomplished, due to your good mentoring.

Blessings Always! WRITE ON!
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Review of Auditions  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Spud, this very short story has landed its purpose. The ending is in keeping with the character of Jack Skellington, the pumpkin king.

Stylistically, it reads like a Shakespearean tragedy in which no one wins with the climax of the story being a great release of emotion or dramatic expression.

I see the reference to The Nightmare Before Christmas. To me, Tim Burton presents as Jack Skellington himself, someone you want to like, but who is so avant-garde as to make the mind start to tilt.

Having participated in a number of auditions myself in community theater, I think I would have responded as the auditioner did, if the person trying out for a part was "few of words", but long in emotional response. Running "to the emergency exit" is a clearly logical response.

Again, Spud your story is well-written, and lands as I would expect it is supposed to land. WRITE ON!
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Review of Death Bed Promise  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Dude,... my words,... what to write?

Sorry, Ken, but I don't like you very well right, now. I had to punch the Read & Review button about four times to get a poem, and this was what I got. I got the humor, and I don't like, that I kinda laughed at something so inappropriate.

Ergo, I'm giving you 4 stars for bad taste. (*Wink*tee, hee, hee,...so sad)

Now, let me hasten to the part I can review with a clear conscience. 14 tercets, 42 lines, rhyme scheme of a-a-b c-c-b with every two tercets in tandem, and the rhythms are mixed throughout the poem with trimeter and tetrameter as well as iambic and anapestic meter included.

I know you're a great writer, Ken, but I must confess, "This was a difficult read for me." Obviously, I could have written the word, but I think you get the _____



I'm leaving, now. Where does one find soap for the mind.
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
WOW, Mary Ann! This is so touching and personal. How wonderful to remember such sweet times with a dearly departed loved one.

You've chosen to use an interesting arrangement of verses: a couplet, a quatrain, a sixain, and an octave. The rhymes are often couplet rhymes, but not always. I'm seeing multiple feet on the various lines, including dimeter, trimeter, and tetrameter.

Great poem! WRITE ON!
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Review of Mortality  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Excellent, Huntersmoon. I like the rhyme scheme. The rhythm is good, too. Mostly tetrameter, though the last line is trimeter. Mostly iambic feet with some anapest thrown in for good measure. The form is followed nicely.

It is a challenging subject, but as I've heard preachers says for much of my life, so far, "Until you're ready to die, you're not ready to live."

You have the good perspective, according to this couple,
"Celebrate life; do not grieve
for our hope lies beyond death.
"
I'm so glad that is your testimony. (John 3:3; John 6:37,44; John 14:6; Romans 9:15-16; Philippians 2:13, KJV)

Well-written. WRITE ON!
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Review of My Hate For You  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
WOW, Bernie, I'm not sure where to begin with this review. Since the date on this poem shows October (same month) 2002, I'm praying you have recovered quite a bit in 23 years. I kept reading this poem, hoping for the same kind of twist at the end, like Julia Stiles' class presentation in 10 Things I Hate About You. It never came, but you wrote "My hate for you" eight times. That was almost as many times.

You wrote the poem as one long stanza, which has the presentation of a rant without a breath.

The "My hate for you"s come in pairs, which are each four lines apart. This makes the whole poem feel like four stanzas mashed together. "The darker it gets/the stronger it becomes" stands as the opening salvo or wind-up for each of the stanzas with the final one being the shortest.

The more I analyze this rant poem the more I see.

The six lines of
"The darker it gets
the stronger it becomes
My hate for you
I've tried so hard to shove
it away deep inside
My hate for you
" gives the presentation of bookends and/or cement pylons in the choppy waters of a storm-filled lake.

It reminded me of the oft-repeated phrase from Linda Ronstadt's 1974 song, "You're No Good." Though she didn't write, she made it a #1 hit because I can still hear her voice in my head.

Bottom Line: You're point is seared into the reader's mind. Well-written. WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Thank you, Carol. A Christmas-themed poem is welcome in my heart every day of the year. What a gift!

I love this free verse poem in the shape of a Christmas tree. Snaps on your ability to measure out the words of each line with such precision.

Excellent story. I can hear the singing in my heart of hearts. Your character, Chris, who braves the dark of night to enter a barn, hints very loudly of the Christ Child, Who was born in a manger.

Oh, to live on a farm in a northern clime with a horse barn, and the opportunity to ride through the snow in a sleigh!

Again, thank you for this Christmas gift in October, the doorway to the holidays. Blessings Always! WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you, Ms. Marilyn Mackenzie, for this amazing devotional thought. "We are one of a kind," and Matthew 10:30-31 are such encouraging words right now. It's hard to keep pace with my little world and the world at large. So many voices! So many expectations!

You love to eat. I must say that your list of favorites is very different from mine, which shows that our taste buds are similar to our fingerprints, unique to each individual.

I think one of the most amazing things I've learned in the Gospels' chapters of the resurrection of Jesus, the Christ, is the fact of Jesus asking for food when He met the disciples on the beach of the Sea of Galilee as I recall. Jesus did not need to eat for sustenance. He ate for fellowship. That gives me hope, that because of the Merits of Jesus, providing for righteousness I do not possess in myself, I can both stand in the Presence of the Lord, forever, and sit down at fellowship meals.

One of my favorite flavors, Southern sweet tea, (which could pass for pancake syrup), could be on the menu in Eternity. Is that great or what? *Smile*

This is well-written, by the way. It's a style of writing that is always needed to encourage the reader.
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Review of Fate  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you, W0lfbane, for this interesting exploration of one of Life's most challenging questions, "Why am I here?" The form is a 16-line free verse poem.

We start with the beauty in life, moving on to its misery, landing on the hope of finding the way home with courage. Paradox, wonder, pawns, unanswered questions are all observed, but none gives the poet any acceptable answers.

The last two lines hold the key to the whole poem, "Life holds many secrets, And it takes them to the grave."

May I offer the hope found in John 14:6, KJV, "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." I know that not all understand or accept this belief, but it is the best hope, that I have to offer.

Great poem! WRITE ON!
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for entry "The TruthOpen in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Jeff, your consistent logic is well-applied. Your position on Biblical Truth is in line with the beliefs of many other Christians with whom I have discussed life throughout my lifetime, so far. We agree that the Bible is of supreme importance, regarding the way we live our Christian lives.

You have written an amazing piece of prose.

You believe in an Old Earth. I believe in the Earth being quite young. 6000 years, you say? I'll buy that. 4004 B.C. creation date? I'm on board with that. Why? Truth is the Person of Jesus Christ, not a "set of facts." (John 14:6, KJV) He is the Foundation of all Truth, especially the totality of the Inerrant Holy Bible.

Modern science has wandered away from its foundation, which is Christian, then and now. Logically, Adam was not created as an infant, but as a "fully-grown" man, who appeared to be about 15 - 30 years old at the moment of his creation from sand and the Breath of God. This would have meant that two "adults," Adam and Eve, who had lived no more than a few years on Earth when they were married by the Lord, starting to procreate at many years fewer time expenditure than modern humans do, makes the case for the Earth appearing to be many years older than the actual days since the Creation.

Bottom Line: If HGTV can use faux aging substances to make a new chest of drawers, just brought home from the store to look decades or even centuries old, is it not at least plausible that the Creator of all things can create the Earth with Reality, looking billions of years old when in Reality it is only days old? Reference the feeding of the 5000 and the feeding of 4000. If Jesus, in His human body, could feed this many people with the limited fish and bread He had at His disposal by the hands of the disciples at the time (Matthew 14 & 15) through the active creation of His Own Person at that point in Time, it is not logical to believe that Jesus, The Creator, (John 1:1-4) could create the entire Universe from where He stood outside of the Universe to have the appearance of billions of years, if He wanted to do this to create such a magnificent Work of Art, when it fact it had only days of Time expenditure?

Since He is God, doesn't He have the Ability to create whatever He wants to create to look as old or as young as He wants it to look whenever He wants it to look that way, and for as long as He wants it to look that way? Maybe I'm just a kid at heart, but I still believe that God can do anything that agrees with His Character and His Purpose.

Biblical Infallibility = you, Biblical Inerrancy = me.

At least I've given the reader a contrast.

I'm glad to know that WDC is a place where two people can "hold different viewpoints, and still be friends." Thank you for your time.

This is a great read. WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good work, Spiritual Dawning. Four quatrains of a-a-b-b rhyme scheme. The lines seem to be tetrameter in iambic & anapestic forms.

I think you are writing about your wife because there seems to be a closeness to her heart. A great deal of love, honor, and admiration are present in this poem.

It would be interesting to read a response from her about you.

Blessings Always. WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent, Spiritual Dawning. How wonderful for us to "keep Christmas in my heart all the year," in the words of the transformed Ebenezer Scrooge.

Six couplets with a-a rhyme, mostly, because the second one was a bit of a rhyming challenge for me.

It would be nice to visit some place with snow on Christmas Day. I don't recall that, since my childhood years, living out in the Oklahoma Panhandle.

What wondrous sights, sounds, and tastes Christmas offers from the "Holy Night" to the joyous Morn.

Great poem, Spiritual Dawning. WRITE ON!
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Review of Bound in Hell  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Well-written, Crissy, and quite sobering to say the least.

Five verses with an interesting arrangement. Three quatrains separated by two tercets. The rhyme schemes of the quatrains are a-b-c-b, once, and then a-b-a-b, twice. Both tercets are a-b-a. The rhythms seem to be mostly iambic meter with the feet per line often three or four, but a couple of times six or seven.

I know that Hell is a recurring theme/subject during the month of October, and you've certainly painted it for all it's worth. I must confess, that as a believer in Jesus, the Christ, the subject of Hell makes my blood run cold, due to the eternal reality and finality of what so many will experience.

As I recall, you name the Name of Jesus as your Savior and Lord. That comforts me to no end.

The line, that chills me the most is the second to the last one, "Your heart was not found as true." Considering how close this thought is to Matthew 7:21-23, KJV, I pray neither of us will be found in those words. That would be a terrifying post script to your poem.

Obviously, your writing is excellent. WRITE ON!
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Review of Yester Years  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well done, Rashi. Childhood has much to offer to those of us who were allowed to live it well. Yours was filled with many and varied Joys, sweets, wonderful games, and so many things to do.

I had heard that India has become Americanized to some extent, and your recollections of American entertainers, like Bryan Adams, and entertainment, like The Wonder Years have confirmed this notion.

However, some of the local enjoyments you knew have escaped my understanding. "Mills & Boons" is a new term for me, "Archies" are likewise unknown, unless you mean the comic books we used to read. I think I became confused because it seemed to be used as food, since it was in the same paragraph with sticky "ice candies."

This piece is filled with beautiful language to describe the events and places of your childhood. I love to learn cultural uniquenesses from other countries. You have a gift for writing them. WRITE ON!
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Review of Trivial Pursuits  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Great poem, Sophy.

This free verse poem relies on visual shaping rather than rhythm and rhyme.

The theme is so relevant to me right now. My daughter has a male "just" friend, who buys her presents, but who still gives me pause because what man initially thinks any boy is good enough for "this precious gem I have cared for since birth."

I need to have a few "dates" with him myself, so I can probe his thought processes. She's 22, but in my head I'm thinking, "Don’t you see what I see?"

Well-written, very helpful to me personally, Sophy. WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good poem, Tim. Excellent advice about workplace culture. Working as a team is definitely important. However, I must confess, I don't get the "outer space" reference. I guess I missed the connection.

The form is comprised of the rhythms of mostly iambic trimeter and iambic tetrameter. You consistently write very good poems in four quatrains, like this one.

WRITE ON!
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