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Review of her writing desk  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lexiemarie, you are so right. Sometimes, the greatest love is found in the ink of the pen. Writing is such a gift. Imagination aids us when reality seems so lonely.

Four quatrains in free verse do well to bring the reader to an important understanding. "Hope remains alive 'at the writing desk'."

Excellent work, lexiemarie. WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
That's so understandable, Ri_leigh.

This 13-verse free-form poem says so much that many of us recognize. We were made for connection. Hope and sanity come in relationships. We were made to know others, personally, in friendship and we are never fully at peace until we know our Creator, and the ones He created as well.

Some of us are homesick for a Place we've never been. Is there a connection? I think so.

WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a well-prepared poem, Tim Chiu.

The form is consistently anapestic tetrameter with a-a-b-b rhyme scheme.

The story told is a very sad event with an excellent ending. "Crime does not pay." The consequences are more than anyone in their right mind would want to pay. Thank you for reminding us of this truth.

WRITE ON!
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Review of Angel Feathers  Open in new Window.
for entry "I Will Praise" Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
EXCELLENT! Most encouraging, Amethyst Angel!

It's so sad that ID didn't realize about John 17:9, KJV, “I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for them which thou hast given me; for they are thine.” Jehovah's Witnesses do not believe that Jesus is Jehovah. I've gotten funny reactions when I've said that I do believe this, but I'm convinced this verse proves that He is the God Who prays.

I don't know your background, but I hope I'm treading lightly enough on this subject. I simply danced around this piece of trivia to say, "I believe the Bible shows that Jesus is the God Who prays."

As for the technical aspects of the poem, I see some rhymes. The rhythms seem to mimic the song as you've indicated. Nicely done.

I had to listen to the song as I was unfamiliar with it. Makes me sad to see the cynicism and hopelessness.

I'm sure we both much prefer John 6:37, KJV, "All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out."

This is a wonderful reimagining of the Imagine Dragon's song. WRITE ON!
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Review of The Unforgettable  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you, Asif, for sharing this piece of prose that is so realistic. This work is short, to the point, and very honest.

May I give you an idea? This would be an excellent piece of writing in a longer format, too. Could it be a poem about the emotions experienced in the flood event? Could it be a story about the event of the flood coming, and taking so many things away?

Please, keep to this idea, and give us more. WRITE ON! Welcome!

Jay
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Review of Red Wildflower  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely captured photo, H. C. Blakemore. I love digital photography, too. The bokeh in your background makes the subject striking.

Finding little gems, like this one are real joys, I consider to be such gifts from our Marvelous Creator.

Please, keep on breathing the fresh air, keep on finding these wonderful photo gifts, and keep on posting for us to enjoy.

Welcome to Writing.Com. I'm so glad you found us. Blessings Always! Jay O'Toole
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you, Lomi, for this poem about love.

Love is all of those things, and more. When I was younger, I was taught that love is a choice. That was a good thing, too, because the feelings of love have a short shelf-life. Love must be able to choose to love, honoring the loved one in good times and in bad.

People who are married for many years are not so because they are better at loving than other people are, but because the commitment of love in their hearts continues to love, even with dents and mud stains, showing on the outside.

I have been married to a lady for nearly 40 years. As two responsible adults, I don't have the right to force her to do anything. I have learned how to express disagreement with respect, continuing to love her, even when she chooses not to go my way.

Excellent free verse poem!

"Is it the best thing in my life?

It is." Well said. WRITE ON!
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Review of Touching Angels  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent work, Ken. Great vocabulary. Only slight exception in form is the fourth stanza, line #3. A single syllable, instead of two.

Listening, watching, running, striving to gain all of the pretty things in the environment, only to see that you were making a snow angel.

Works for me. WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
poorwestwood, this seems like a pretty well-written piece, but I have removed one star because of my confusion as to purpose and form.

Your greeting, "Sunshine," and your signature, "Birdie" taken literally seem to mean an affinity for nature. However, it could mean a sarcastic Cupid is talking with a human, or two humans are having a relationship of some sort. Of course, you used the word, "lyricist," which means a song writer.

Is this a free form poem? Or is it a piece of prose? I'm sorry. There seems to be a depth of meaning that I can't grasp. However, WRITE ON!
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for entry "my Backbone" Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an excellent free verse poem, Sam.

Three verses tell all the maladies of life without The Lord Jesus as your backbone. The final verse tells of the good reason you are glad, that the Lord Jesus is your backbone.

I can say a strong, "Amen!" to all of these things.
1. Without Jesus as my backbone, I am "isolated" and lonely.
2. Without Jesus as my backbone, I would be "weak" and "unable to stand" as an utter "failure".
3. Without Jesus as my backbone, I would be "lost."
4. With Jesus as my backbone, there is "contentment", "victory", and "His Honor".

"Thank you, Lord, for all the good You have brought to my life. In this, I agree with Sam." Thank you, Sam, for penning this poem. We are so grateful to the Lord for the Joy we share in Christ.

Blessings Always! WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
WriteWithJanney, modern work is "walking the tightrope between tradition and
innovation." Well said. I'm grateful you've pointed out the need for human interaction, not giving over completely to technology.

As a Baby-Boomer, I've seen progress virtually remove from history many of the tools I used as a youth. For instance, digital photography can never fully replace the quality of images captured with film.

Though I've learned to work with tech, I pray we never lose our humanity, and the creativity, that comes with it.

Good piece. WRITE ON!
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Review of The Write Stuff?  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely done, Dan, given the constraints of the sadistic Sparrow. *Wink* Your two hemistiches are well-chosen and completely understood. Some of the forms we are learning from Dr. Dave are indeed "brain-busters." However, in this case, you have no worries, Sir. You created the form flawlessly. WRITE ON! Jay
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Welp, I must say, "This is not my usual piece to review." However, I shall sally forth to address a few positive items, since redress would be my first hope for Father Christmas.

The form is good, technically speaking. Six quatrains of a-b-c-b rhyme scheme with tetrameter/trimeter couplets of mixed iambic and anapestic rhythms. Although the forms in the content were a bit much. *Wink*

My year-round love of Christmas was challenged herein, being that your concept was quite clear. Must binge on Christmas music today, and if I had time, Christmas movies to cleanse the palate. (shudder...) (Half a star removed purely for content.)

I shall look twice next time I see your name next to a Christmas poem title.

That is all.
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Review of Storm  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent poem, H. M. Marie! I like the concept of connecting haikus to create a larger poem.

We have something in common. My home state of Georgia in the US is noted for growing peaches. Peach trees can endure the extreme heat of summer and the freezing temperatures of winter in The South.

You maintained the 5-7-5 syllables of haiku structure, while amending the style slightly to tell the bigger story. You deal with some sadness early on, finishing on the positive note of a smile.

Nicely done! WRITE ON!
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Review of April  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Words, this is an excellent form poem that emphasizes form. Wonderful imagery of April, the month of beautiful growing things.

Since I don't see a rhyme scheme or rhythmic pattern (syllabic form), I believe we have a free verse poem that was molded much like one molds a pottery bowl. Your word choices are a nice mix of extensive vocabulary and playfulness.

Thanks for sharing. You accomplished your purpose. Your poem looks like a rain cloud.

WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Amethyst Angel, I like this very much. I’m invested in the characters. I want to learn more. In fact, you’re “reading my mail.” I have the same sorts of questions, that your characters do. How can we share the Gospel in an impersonal world?

I think you should write more because this is a great story. Blessings Always. WRITE ON!
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Review of Promptly Poetry  Open in new Window.
for entry "Locked!" Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely done, Amethyst Angel. I wrote a poem yesterday with a similar theme. Don't know which came first, yours or mine, but I don't guess it matters, since amazing minds think alike.

You maintained your stated rhythm quite well throughout the poem. Unrhymed was also kept in place, and the theme was the focus of your every line.

Relationships are a challenge, horizontally with our fellowmen, and vertically with the Lord. The challenge you underscored in the first four verses. The solution was joyfully displayed in the last verse.

Excellent poetry. You spoke a good word for the Lord. Thank you for sharing this. WRITE ON!

Jay
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well-written with an a-a-a-a rhyme scheme, and modified iambic heptameter. As advertised, your thoughts are pretty much all over the place, covering myriad social ills and political concerns, including finding some way to be centrist in order to get elected. Not much has changed through the years in that regard. Your poems are as this one, filled with meaning, and full of excellent words. WRITE ON!
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Review of Tears at Dawn.  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing your poem of five couplets, filled with deep and hidden meaning, Spiritual dawning. The first two couplets do not rhyme, but the last three do. Interesting choice of form.

This poem will require time to contemplate.

Who is crying? I'll assume it is the writer, you.
Who is "a special lady born"? What pain does she need to have released?

These are all most intriguing things to consider. I may think I have an answer, but ultimately, you may have to fill in the details.

WRITE ON!

Jay
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great poem, Tim. Such honesty, showing the challenges of excellent heights and disappointing lows in a real relationship.

You've written consistent quatrains of iambic trimeter with a rhyme scheme of A-B-C-B.

Working together certainly makes a strong friendship and a lasting love that can be enjoyed throughout a lifetime together.

Much success to both of you. WRITE ON!
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Review of Why Write?  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent poem, Dan I Am. Perfectly done form. Great sentiments of encouragement to us writers. We do write for satisfaction and for the Gift Points. You have worthy experience and great imagination. Well-done free verse poem, showing your thoughts about the process of writing poetry.

Thank you for the privilege of sharing my review with you.
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is an interesting piece of writing. I see that all of your favorite Disney movies are animated, which gives potential for a higher level of speed and flexibility in the action they can portray.

The numbers help to organize and prioritize the order of favorites. It's nice to learn about your favorite songs from the movies as well.

I noticed that you stated a moral from Wreck-It Ralph. I think that would be nice to know about each one of these movies.

Please, keep writing. You have something important to share with the world.
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
These song lyrics are filled with such pathos, such pain. It's well-written and obviously has potential in the world of pop tunes. Seven verses, and one bridge. It seems to have a bit of an Alanis Morissette feel to it. Add a little vocal fry, and you have a Top 40 Hit.
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Review of The Dodgy Dive  Open in new Window.
Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
So true, Chuck. We try so hard to steel our wits about us while keeping our life secured in the attempt of something just out of our reach, and then...a broken bone, sprained muscle, or terrible belly flop.

We always learn from the experience, but what pain we endure as we're going through it.

You've said it well in 50 words! WRITE ON!
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Review by Jay O'Toole Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Tim, this free-verse poem is a great vehicle for describing Election 2020.

"Animus," "sloshy," "frothy calamity," and "chaos" are all excellent descriptors for the mélange that was the societal discomfort of 2020 as seen in that year's Presidential Election.

With your couplet,
"To ensure predictability
And economic improvement"
you have identified the goal of leadership, regardless of Party.

Considering your first line, your last line, "And eternal modesty" appears to a humorous poke, birthed of wry wit.

This poem is filled with pathos and an excellent ability to get your point across in relatively few lines.

WRITE ON!
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