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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bbbrown1219
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18 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Ambience16
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This story was very well written out, and I am looking forward to reading the next installment. I have a few comments to make, however. If you added more description to the scene in which Sam learns Jessica is missing, it would intrigue the reader even more than you already have. There were also capitalization issues, though they didn't defer from the main point of the story. Out of my own opinion, one you don't have to take at all, at the ending I think you should give a detailed description of Sam's father before introducing him in the text. Anyways, you've done a great job so far, so keep it up!
Ambience 16
2
2
Review by Ambience16
Rated: E | (3.5)
I read this, and immediately thought, "wow, Kim is such a jerk!" but as I continued reading, I figured that she acted like that for a reason. But still, someone needs to teach her a lesson. Anyways, this story was interesting. I believe that there needs to be a little more action between the characters and less dialogue. There were also a few spelling errors, such as "your" instead of "you're" but the story was understandable. I think you should just add a tad bit more to the ending of this chapter, such as add a twist. Anyway, good job overall and keep on writing! I'm looking forward to the next installment of this story.
Ambience 16
3
3
Review of As It Was To Be  
Review by Ambience16
Rated: E | (3.0)
This was a very simple poem, with a very honest meaning that you have written. I can actually portray the four seasons in this poem: winter, spring, summer, and autumn. I also noticed that the poem was warm, however I still felt a darker side to it. Was it written to be a warm poem or to have a darker meaning? Well done.
Ambience 16
4
4
Review by Ambience16
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I was looking through Newbies, and came upon yours, as your brief description was intriguing.

This was a very interesting piece. I liked the way you set up the scene, and you used pretty good adjectives to describe the scene. However, I was a little lost in the middle, and could not tell if your main character was still dreaming, or if he was awake.

I like your last line. It's a little vague, but it does fit in with the context of the story.

Good job, and keep on writing.
Ambience16
5
5
Review by Ambience16
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This story is very well-written. It is passionate and each scene is flawlessly described. I feel sorry for Chris, as he was caught in the middle of Michelle's temptations and his love for Louisa, and I feel sorry for Louisa who lost her boyfriend and her best friend. I liked how the entire story revolved around the theme of dancing, especially the title "It Takes Three to Tango" which was the issue between Chris, Louisa, and Michelle. Both these points were creative. Great job with this story, so keep up the good work!
Ambience 16
6
6
Review by Ambience16
Rated: E | (3.5)
This story was very emotional. I know it is unfinished but maybe try adding more background detail, especially around the home situation. You should also add more dialogue between the mother and daughter, so the reader knows the devastating effects of domestic abuse. So far, you're off to a good start, so keep up the good work!
Ambience16
7
7
Review by Ambience16
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This first chapter was really exciting. Being sixteen years old, and in the age group you've written this towards, I feel it was appropriate. I was plugged into this chapter, the entire time wanting to know what was going to happen next. The way you described the characters and their actions followed a great relationship which corresponded smoothly with the story. This first chapter was suspensful, and many events were unexpected, which helped the story flow. Great job and keep writing!
Ambience16
8
8
Review of Blue Rose Petals  
Review by Ambience16
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This story was very cute, very romantic. When I first came upon this, I expected Scott to be cheating on Kelli, but it was actually quite the opposite! This short story was very descriptive and was even a little suspensful. Great job, and keep on writing!
Ambience16
9
9
Review by Ambience16
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I had only read the first chapter, but I was already in love with this story. As I continued reading, I realized how loving and demanding the life of a cat is. I also love how cats deem themselves superior over humans. I liked how they would refer to humans as "human servants". I have read other stories with the point of view of an animal, but this story was cleary one of the greatest. Great job and keep on writing!
Ambience16
10
10
Review by Ambience16
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This story was very sad, even though it was hopeful. When I read this story, I first believed it was a simple story, but soon learned that it actually affected me. Olivia's son Gary was watching over Mark, and he was the one who protected him from death. This inspirational story can only come from the heart. Was this story true?
Ambience 16
11
11
Review by Ambience16
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really enjoyed this story. There were a couple of grammar mistakes, but other than that, the story was completely understandable. I rated this a 4 because it was funny, and reminded me of another book that I have read, which I also really enjoyed. I like the twist at the end! Keep on writing!
Ambience 16
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