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758 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
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Review by Moarzjasac
Rated: E | N/A (Unratable.)
For the most part this monologue is coherent. This however, is not the way to begin (In conjunction with epistemology, bewildered coherent truth of fallacy falls on deaf ears. As to the reasoning behind such atrocities, one can assume that any assumption has been breathed life through intangibles.) HUH?

I'm 77 and for the most part self educated. I have no letters after my name so you can attempt to communicate with me by being straightforward and to the point. I would advise that you adapt your presentation to suit your readers. Your opening has managed in just a few words to eliminate a large number of your audience.

Don't get me wrong you have valid points but you have managed yo obfuscate the message with your choice of language

2
2
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like this. You have opened yourself, exposed your feelings. I say disregard naysayers and their put downs. I am a 77 year grandfather. Unfortunately I do not receive many hugs. I've learned how to have leather-like skin to go with my wrinkles.

I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK, also your transitions between thoughts. You touched this old man's heart because you have experienced teasing and rose above it. Your story inspires me to forget about covering my scars, They help tell my stories if anyone cares enough or pauses to listen.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of Terrors of Tall  
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.5)
SMILE

I like this very much. It says a lot in a small space.
4
4
Review of Tourist Trade  
Review by Moarzjasac
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Interesting, and as I guess horror stories should be horrible.

oooohs should be oohs, ahhhhs should be ahhs Check the spelling of Dracula you added an e.

You used a lot of ... as connectors. My editor flagged several as unnecessary. Some of those … seem recent,

I would change this and lose (of those)

I highly recommend using Grammarly in all your writing. It costs around $100us for a year. I use it every day.

I really liked this story.

MO





5
5
Review of Curtains  
Review by Moarzjasac
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I truly enjoyed your story. I liked the way you set the scene. The climax came out of nowhere, it hits your reader right in the face. Please keep writing, you have imagination and talent. You will notice I did not give this piece a five-star rating. It is good but there is room for improvement. I offer some suggestions to help you improve this fine story and make it worth five stars. Take what you can use and discard the rest.
Then, Without warning, the attacker reached out and something grabbed her leg. She fought back, but was at a disadvantage, naked and wet, with a face full of soap. Her skin crawled under it’s its clammy grip, her heart was pounding pounded as she pushed back and kicked but it wouldn’t retreat for more than a second. kicking with all her strength but It felt like there was nothing solid to connect with, to fight against. Her mind raced, trying to come up with a strategy. There was no time for rational thought.
In a situation like this there is no time to plan, one must rely upon knee-jerk SURVIVAL INSTINCT.
She thrust her lathered face under the stream of water and simultaneously kicking ed out with her freshly-shaved right leg. It silently Cold slimy fingers crawled over her smooth skin. Do or die. She attacked in an adrenalin-fueled frenzy, scratching and kicking and tearing for all she was worth.
I hope this will help you.
Until next time,
MO
6
6
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Once upon a time there was a crooked old man with gnarled fingers and old bony legs. Everyday he walked with his large brown dog, one mile down the steep hill from his house to the little store on the highway. He would buy groceries for supper and breakfast lunch the next day.

One day when he was half way down the hill it began to snow. By the time he reached the store his dog, Wolfen, began to whimper. The old man leaned over and scratched behind the dog's left ear. It was its favorite place to be scratched. He stopped whimpering.

When they reached the store the old man started to tie his dog outside to the newspaper rack.

"No need for that, Mo. There is no reason that he can't come inside with you."

In just a few minutes everything was covered with a thickening layer of snow.

Because of that,the old man was unsure just what to do. Until finally it became plain that walking up the hill would be an impossible feat for the old man. Falling
down would likely break his brittle bones.

Mathew, the proprietor and postmaster of the small post office attached to the store, said. "Mo sit down by the stove and stay warm while I get ready to close up before the snow gets so deep that even my jeep won't make it up to your house."

In a short time Matt had everything ready to close. The thick clouds overhead made it darker than normal for this time of year.

"I'll pull around front to pick up you and Wolfen." Matt went out the back door locking it with a loud snap as the bolt secured the door.

Mo stood by the door with his arms full of groceries. He had bought much more than usual because he knew it might be some time before he could come again.

"Are you sure you have enough to last several days, MO?"

"Yes" said Mo, knowing that the few coins in his pocket was all he had left until his social security check came next week.

Matt loaded the two bags of groceries into the back of the jeep Waggoneer.

"Mo," he said. "I know your check wont come till next week. I wouldn't feel right about you running out of supplies. Let's get you more groceries and a bag of dry and a few cans of food for Wolfen. I'll put you on the cuff till you get your check"

Mo stood with the cold wind hitting his face, his eyes filled with tears.
"I don't have any idea how to thank you," choking on the words.

Matt went inside and came out with two bags filled to the top with supplies.

"No thanks necessary, good neighbors take care of each other."

They got into the jeep. Wolfen had his head resting on Mo's knee.

"If the county hasn't plowed your road I'll have Jack Mueller plow it when he plows around the store."

They went up the very steep hill to the old log cabin that Mo lived in.

When they reached it Mo opened the door and both men carried groceries into the small kitchen.

"I'll put another log on the fire. Would you like a drink of home made whiskey? I make about three gallons a quarter. That way I stay legal and the Feds leave me alone."

Mo poured a generous shot into a jelly glass. "This is the fiftieth year I've been making my own liquor. Got it perfected now." He laughed.

"I thought you ate a lot of sugar," laughed Matt.

"I just make enough for my own use, and if a friend drops by I can give him a drink."

Matt raised the glass cautiously to his lips taking a small sip of the slightly amber liquid. "Wow, this is mild and very smooth."

"Mo chuckled, not too fast Matt, this is 180 proof, my grandfather's recipe."

They sat and talked for awhile. Finally Matt said, "Since you do not have a phone, I'll come by and check on you. Do you have enough wood?"

"Check out my woodpile beside the house. I work on building a good supply, a little at a time since I can't chop wood all day like I used to," Mo laughed.

"Really piling up fast, Mo. I need to get home and check on my wife and grand daughters."

Mo extended his gnarled hand, it was completely engulfed by big Matt's hand.

"Stay warm" they both said at once.

Wolfen followed Matt to the door but would not venture outside.

Soon the jeep left Mo's driveway. "Matt is a real friend," said Mo as he rubbed the dog's left ear.

The dog gave a little bark of agreement. Winter and silence descended on the ancient log cabin on the top of the hill.

Moarzjasac wolf sig
7
7
Review of Sensory Words  
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for this piece.

Using sensory words gives a whole other dimension to writing. A flat piece assumes shape, has color and acquires qualities with which the reader can relate. I continually tell people that I review that they need to use sensory words.

We recently had a group discussion about that very thing at the writers group sponsored by our local library. We have about 30 members with usually half attending a particular meeting. If it is ok with you I will reprint this and pass it out to our newbies group that meets this coming thursday.

Thank you for taking the time to write this extremely useful piece.
8
8
Review of The Light Keep  
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is near perfect until the very last stanza, you fell a little short. I loved your descriptions. I could taste the salt air.
You have definitely used your location to the best advantage. I felt like I was standing next to you. The only suggestion I have for remedying the last stanza would be to read it aloud or have someone read it to you. Poetry is meant to be vocal and lets us know when anything falls a tiny bit short. I frequently change the order of my thoughts which sometimes helps me find that which I seek.

Fine piece.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really like this piece. I offer you some slight suggestions. Please use what you like and leave all else behind.
I am 75years old and sometimes have difficulty communicating my though in a non hurtful way.


Boy, we learn our lesson quick
Sports precision's such areal trick.
None of our tries Nothing we tryseems to click
Then we become enraged and sick...

With every pounce, we seek a prize
But with tons of pizzazz, we realize -
Playing's maybe not so wise;
Gasping pleas and expletive cries.

But sometimes efforts must take hold
Make it They onlywork, don't be when we aren'ttoo bold
Ability's goals are framed, controlled
Then Theysustain that a heart of gold!

Play begins,like wind in our sax
But roll I don't understand the word roll in this contextis Find justwhat the player lacks.
Think posture, desire, earn your stacks
Then cherish how the placespectators reacts...

©

Please let me know if this helped. I really want to be helpful.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review by Moarzjasac
Rated: E | (4.0)
This reviewer is 75 years old. I sometimes have difficulty reviewing without ruffling the feathers of the person I am reviewing.

I want you to know my only motivation is to be of help.

You have a good beginning. The suggestions I offer are just that.
Please take what you find useful and discard the rest.


Question: How would a child who did not speak advance to High School?? You might want to make it plain that he does his work without conversation??


Once upon time I guess... I would lose this as it does nothing to enhance your story.
anyhow this is the story of my life and how Iwouldn't talkuntil I was in highschool.x}So I wouldn't talk when When I was three years old. We went to the doctor. and

I definitely had a voice I just wouldn't talk. I was four and whenI went to kindergarten. I would not talk too anyone, not even the teacher. People would talk to me, but I wouldn't talk to anyone.I would suggest that he does his work soundlessly

new paragraph When everyone went to lunch and I sat all by myself. That is boring so What does this sentence contribute to your story? WhenI went to recess and I wouldn't talk or play either. I went back to class nothing happened though. I went home to my parents and they asked if my day was good, I of course didn't say a word.new paragraph I ate dinner then got bathed and went to bed. That was how all of the days went by. A long time later when I was now in high school and we got a new kid. We got new kidsall the time but, this felt I don't know just different this time.

So I went to the office and shook her hand she said, "Hello!". I said nothing. She then left to forclass. I went to lunch but, she sat withme

New paragraphThis was vary weird. we both didn't say a word then we went to recess together. I finally said, "Hello", that was the first word that came out of my mouth. that's where my life truly began.

This is an interesting premises for a story. You could expand this with a little work into an interesting and perhaps publishable story.
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Review of Lost  
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like this poem it has good rhyme which continues smoothly, for the most part, throughout this piece.

It takes a special person to see like this, and added talent to put into words.

I hope my suggestions will provide food for thought whether you use them or not. I did my best! I hope this will be useful, my young friend.

Lost



The role of the victim,
she plays it so well
With lines stolen offfrom
the walls of a cell.

The lights on the stage
hit her sparkling dress.sparkle across her dress
The music drowns out
all her fear and distress.

Life always goes on
like a runaway train.
There are no scheduled stops,
onlyIn this tunnel (no/S) of pain.

She goes round and round
on the bright carousel,
where there's no brass ring,
only demons from hell.Only the hound of Hell

you could make a smoother transition here
An "E" ticket ride.
Can't feel the floor.
Can't get off.
Can't find the door.

Now, no more applaud,applause
since the people have gone.the audience has gone
The music fades to silence
off,
and she’sleft all alone. lost and alone.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of New Beginnings  
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
You have the powers of observation and the ability to describe your surroundings that are the hallmarks of a good writer. You have an excellent start here. I recommend that you look up "the elements of a short story." I refer to them when editing my own stuff. I am 75, and still learn every day. Keep writing with your eye on the elusive prize, a great story!

This story needs work. It could really use tightening up, saying the same thing with fewer words.
Slight changes in word order can be very helpful to your reader's enjoyment of this story.

She walked down that street again, she wasn't even aware until it was too late, that she was doing it. It had become a habit, she'd been walking this way for fifteen years, it was a hard habit to break now. Janine looked at the factory where she used to work, smoke still billowing from its chimneys, she wondered, just for a moment, at the damage it was doing to the ozone layer; if she was honest, she didn't much care. Her priority was getting to see her daughter and this was the shortest route, even if it brought back difficult memories; the times she was bullied, the day those women caused an accident that meant she would never work again.

My suggestion showing how I would write this. Fifteen years of walking down this street had become an almost unbreakable habit. It was the shortest route to see her daughterJanine looked at the factory where she used to work, smoke still billowing from its chimneys, she wondered, just for a moment, at the damage it was doing to the ozone layer; if she was honest, she didn't much care. Her prioritynowwas getting to see her daughter.She shut out the difficult memories of the times she was bullied,and the day those women caused the accident which resulted in her never working again.

Just an old man's observations, I am 75 and tend to have strong ideas about the best ways to communicate in writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review of Rise Up  
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like your ideas.
A good self test is to read your poems aloud then ask yourself these questions.
1. Do the words flow smoothly over your tongue?
2. Are your transitions between ideas as smooth as your thoughts?
3. Would slight changes in your order of presentation help you to communicate better with your readers?

I like the way you reveal your insights to your readers.

I hope to read much more of your gifted writing. Thank you for the privilege of reviewing this fine piece.

A little polish will really help your writing shine.

MO

Man in Window
I try very hard to keep my windows of my free of smudges thus allowing my readers a clear view of what is in my heart.

Just OLD (75) MO


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
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Review of FORGIVE ME FATHER  
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Quite interesting piece which can strike a resonance in all who read it. You adhered to your chosen form perfectly, (not an easy task). I can sense that there are some who might disagree with your religious feelings. Reviews are not a place to refute ideologies.

I believe that form, presentation, and technique is what should be the important parts of a review.

Word choice, both for meaning and sound is important.

You did a credible job. Thank you for writing this piece.

Just old MO


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of Alone in Life  
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
I feel your poem, especially when I read it outloud. I would advise you to read your poems aloud. Any little rough spots are clearly felt when they cross your tongue.

A good self test for you to use is: Do your ideas flow together? Transitions are very important. Do your words flow as smoothly as your thoughts?

This piece could be much better if you shun the use of the word they. It is too general. If you could give your readers an idea of who "they" are it would be a good way to make a stronger statement.

I like your optimistic ending. Life is what we make it and how we choose to interpret what others say and do.

Keep writing! You have a knack which needs a little polishing. I'm 75 and I still learn every day.

Just MO


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
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Review of Distance  
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like this poem. The form is nice and the words roll nice off my tongue when I read it aloud. (I think poems should always be read aloud.)} The only blooper I could find was in the last line. Your should be You're (you are).

I hope you keep writing and I look forward to reading more of your stuff.

MO


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
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Review of To the writers  
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
I agree wholeheartedly with your basic premise. It is extremely important to pay close attention to every word in a short high impact piece like this one. Your delivery, punctuation, and sentence structure detract from this piece. I would highly recommend a rewrite!

How does the mind of a writer (sees)? the world and what makes him see the world in a different perspective than the way people normally do. Is the world really so different for him. You shall be the judge of it by the end of this writing. Questions? Where is the punctuation?

(Needs tightening up, there are redundant and superfluous words in your paragraph.)

Why does the eye of a writer see the world from a different perspective from "normal" people? Eyes see while the mind interprets that which is seen.

A writer's mind does not ? in this (very existing)? {what does this mean?} world around us, the world just appears now and then, in the middle of his own world he actually lives in.{c} (The writers eye sees the world around us, but with more detail, while a writers mind understands the nuance of small things that most people miss){c}

This world does not have any beginning or an end. It neither has a way in, nor there shall be a way to get out it. This world knows no boundaries for which it never was meant to have one. The way things work in this world are just the way the wind blows. Sometimes calm and serene, although sometimes destructive. Sometimes so beautiful that the very nature of its beauty gives birth to some of the marvels in the actual existing world. Sometimes so naive that the people who go through their work would find it so hard to concur with the facts. So that's what makes the writers what they are. The magicians who through their words can take you to the places unknown. A person through his hard facts can make you realise what's actually happening around you. Sometimes of things in you of which you yourself had not realised. That's the power of words and the writer is a master who holds the key to such great power. Yields it, moulds it and unleashes it into life. A warrior without hesitation and a creator without discrimination.


Is English your second language? If so then your unusual syntax is understandable.

The way this piece is now makes it very hard to understand what you are trying to say. I would be willing (only if asked) to help with your rewrite.

This is and should remain your piece, so I won't dissect it without your permission.

I have helped a couple people here who will vouch for me. I am 75 years old, self taught, and opinionated.

Keep writing! It is an important means of letting your readers see through the windows of your soul. It is your job to keep them as clear as you can.

WELCOME TO WDC

Man in Window


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
My best to you. Welcome to WDC.



It is hard for me to know what to say here. First, for the most part I loved your imagery. I like your thoughts and how you put them to words. I find myself trying to put a person behind this piece.

I am 75 self taught and mostly retired. I am somewhat limited in my physical capabilities so I write, I still design things, although fewer and fewer actually get built.
I really wish I knew more about you. your biography is not filled out. It is a place to let others put a personality and some general information provide a glimpse through the windows of your heart.

a quietpool

Please let me know what you think about this review.
Please note: these observations, are just some ideas and examples. Take what you want and discard the rest. This piece is YOURS and should remain so.


When I write sometimes it is very difficult to decide on the structure of a piece. I like prose poetry. (Non rhyming) Poetry cries out to be read aloud!

This piece could easily be structured as prose poetry. I will take the liberty of showing you exactly what I mean.

Topography Of A Journey In Life You might want to look at the title

Topography is one of those feeling words. It suggests what your life might feel like beneath the fingertips of another Are you willing to let your readers touch your life feeling rough beads ann smooth ones


The green mark up is what it made me think of when I read it.

It should flow smoothly over ones tongue and lips. The sound of its melody should echo in my mind.


When my heart is heavy
my mind seems to go into overtime.goes into overdrive/c}

As a gust of strong wind outside
}plays its hauntimg melody
sends the wind chimes into a continuous song.
on the wind chimes
just outside my window


The morning light
dances nimbly off the vestige of night
awakening a new day
awakens a new day.

my perception of daybreak
focuses my thoughts into the stillness within
forming the foundation upon which all things are built
It is a place of peaceful activity
All things connect like beads on the necklace
of my life. I touch them
feeling their size and shape.
I understand each has its place./c}


You see the way a few words can carry a truckload of meaning in a very small cart. LOL

My best to you
May you receive the healing power of life which surrounds everything

MO


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review of Never Again  
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like this piece. It touches my heart and my mind. However I will not give it the highest rating possible, that might leave you the impression that this piece needs no improvement, I don't want that.

You have an excellent beginning of a power piece! It needs a tweak here and there.

Poetry must be read aloud. That allows the addition of another set of sensors to interpret the messages hidden between the lines. I believe poems should flow smoothly across the tongue and your lips.

Great additions to your tools are :a good rhyming dictionary, and of course the irreplaceable Thesaurus. I don't like the digital versions, they take away from the experience of learning that happens when you open a book.

In line five I would say Apprehensive about .....

I am fast running out of time...So I wish you well.

Contact me with questions, I'll do my best to be of assistance.

MO (75 years old and loving WDC)



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
This piece is a bit difficult to follow. Much of my very old stuff,(55+years or more) fell into similar patterns. Through the years I learned that the object (for me) of writing is to communicate with my reader. One thing which helped me was the realization that poetry is meant to be read aloud.

This piece while quite visual in places, is disconnected (to me). It lacks the smooth transitions of thought which carry a reader from one idea to another. Several places I wondered "How did we get here?" Non sequiturs have a place but must be used sparingly if you wish to communicate with your reader.

Your piece undoubtedly makes sense to you. It lived in your mind. I believe you can, (and will, with practice) find ways to put your ideas and observations into a form that communicates what is in your mind to the mind of your reader smoothly and efficiently.

Look carefully at your piece, have you made leaps that leave your reader saying "WHAT?" Most readers now days just won't put in the effort to understand what you are saying. It is worth a little extra effort to make it easier for your readers to follow.

Good luck, and keep writing. Remember this review is just my opinion. I am old and sincerely believe the main object of writing is to communicate.

I will watch your port, and root for you as you gain insight and polish your techniques.

"Just the opinion of old MO"

a quietpool


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like the way you use visual and sensual words to paint this word picture. My personal feeling is that all poetry should be read aloud. it should roll smoothly off your tongue and tickle your ear as the painted picture pleases your eye. You did a good job but not perfect. I have a hardbound thesaurus its cover thread bare in spots from frequent use. I like it better than digital versions because it always leads me through a garden of nuance which allows me to pick and choose sound and meanings that fit perfectly.

Any ragged poems in my port reflect when i didn't take the time to use the best tool I ever found.

I am 75, and old fashioned but still able to think outside the box.


i look forward to reading more of your writing.

MO

a quietpool


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of Marion  
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
You have an excellent imagination,a great vocabulary, and the ability to paint word pictures which resonate with your readers. If this were my piece I would alter the format so it would be easier to read. You are very fortunate to be able to take your reader right with you to the place where each piece begins.

I am one who loves words and I've been trying to utilize them to entertain, provoke thought and perhaps accomplish a little good along the way for the best part of my 75 years. i wrote my first story the last quarter of fourth grade. I spent a long time in the hospital, we had no tv and although I enjoyed radio programs which were numerous and full of great sound effects I discovered Reading was the best entertainment available. I devoured the books in our small town library. The librarian would call me when they got new books.

I even read the unabridged "Count of Monte Christo." When I started High school I was so far ahead that I just coasted through. I finished our Chemistry text by the third week of School Made my peers angry unfortunately. So I retreated farther and father into books.

Nuff about me.

I use words that express what the senses say whenever possible. I want my readers to feel the soft kiss of the evening breeze laden with the scent of evergreens and flowers. I also want them to feel the needle like bites of ice crystals propelled by high winds and the squeak of compacting snow beneath my boots an -40F mornings. I like to grab my reader and drag them along for the ride to the strange places in my stories.

I would like you to read a couple things in my port.

1:Last Will and Testament of J Creighton
Rated: 13+ · Emotional · #1918068
That there even is a will, might come as a surprise to those who plan to get rich

#2:Redemption in the Big Easy
Rated: 18+ · Adult · #1941126
This is dedicated to all the Sharons in the world who don't realize how valuable they are

let me know what you think. When or if you have time

I'm looking forward to many more character sketches from you, and perhaps some longer things.

Take care my young friend

MO


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
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Review of Richard  
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I strongly suspect that this piece is based upon real feelings. Writing is a wonderful catharsis it allows us to put feelings on paper (the screen) with which we would never trust another person. It definitely helps, and can open doors for sharing without anyone knowing your face. We all have a very myopic view of ourselves when we try to fix our brokenness all by ourself. My advice is to find someone who will share your endeavor without sugar coating it, thus allowing you to avoid the quagmire of self pity.

Nuff philosophy. now about style. This piece is for the most part well written. I hope to see more of your writing long into the future.

Take good care of yourself. Find a place you can just let the healing energy of the universe flow into you.

This is my place

a quietpool

Mo



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of An Aching Mess!  
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Feeling Your Pain


Image #1975325 over display limit. -?-

I spend a lot of time looking out my window, I try to keep it clean enough for passers by to look in and see me, complete with all my infirmities.

My writing is to invite others to share what is currently written on my mind.

I have good days, I have bad days, but the kind folks here are willing to share the best and the worst without judging.

I have learned much from the suggestions offered by people I've never seen who share a common passion for sharing ideas by writing.

The communication skills you learn here will help you find how to relate to others in the confusing world in which we live.

Something to think about, We all need love without it we are only a hollow shell washed up on the beach of life. I have never seen you, and most likely never will but I love you. I can sense that you beat up on yourself by expectations which hinder your growth.

"Love is like a bee, If we grab it and try to keep it clasp in our hand it will sting us. If however we open our hand and let it fly freely it will leave its memory behind to sustain us between its visits. Bees make honey which lingers on our tongues as love lingers in our heart.

Peace to you. Can you accept love from a total stranger that you will never meet except in the hallways of your mind? I extend you my hand, and my experience to lift you out of the abyss of self pity, and self blame. Grab hold my young friend the only way from here is up!

Just old Mo


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of My Mother's Poems  
for entry "Evening Sky
Review by Moarzjasac
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
It is a rare poet who with a such few words transports the reader to another time and space. Her words are strung together, beads on the thread of time as it passes on a story of gale winds changing to gentle caresses of nights breath flavored with the soft sweet scent of flowers. It is now gentle enough to stir a candle flame for a moment but not strong enough to blow it out.

MO


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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