Review of Short Story #916840 Character count: 1,344
Hello, My name is Casey. I am reviewing your short story entitled: "Wildflowers".
I chose it because with that title I assumed it would be a quaint, colorful little who-done-it for an old lady like myself to read.
Well, I knew it was a short story, but failed to notice the word, "horror". I mean what could be so horrible about an innocent field of beautiful, romantic wildflowers?
You set the scene, and I jumped right in, the innocent lamb to the slaughter.
Ah, yes, just another one of those playful, childhood ghost stories. Two young college kids find an old shack to play house in where they can smoke their pot.
SIMPLE LITTLE story, really. CONFLICT? Where? Ho-hum. Oh, right, someone else may be stopping by the house during the mid-week. Most probably a bunch of teens who are cavorting all over the place and tossing her books around! Your girlfriend, the one with all the chutzpah, has taken possession , in her mind anyway. The house belongs to her!
The MAIN CHARACTER has misgivings. Maybe we should just ignore them, says he, and share the place. After all, it is nothing but an old, abandoned shack and the kids have just as much right to be playing around there as they do! That girl of yours is ready to go after them and 'clean' house! She is so anxious to 'get them', she barely allows to drive up to the house before she is out of the car and gaining access without your help. She seems to have no fear as she assumes it is 'just a bunch of silly kids'. So she runs into a really big surprise none of us expect; not even the reader.
Meantime, BEST PART OF STORY is the fumbling around with that seat belt. That damn buckle is frozen in place and the reader is entirely sympathetic to his turmoil. A rising Hitchcock moment! Tension is boiling over. Nothing is heard from the girl! Is our hero a totally bumbling idiot? The reader is assuming no news is good news.
He finally enters house and finds her all bloody and dead? And now, trapped, he must find the car keys! At this point, the reader is still expectant of a more or less standard denouement. You know, someone comes running and screaming out of other part of house with chainsaw in his hands.
But no, not this author. He wants a Stephen King-“Carrie”-hand reaching up out of the dirt kind of ending.
So, there he lies as innocent as the beautiful, bloody wildflowers, armless and legless! OMG! Such a horribly successful ending! But now you have made me see the bloody scene and I will have nightmares tonight all because of your ridiculously horrible horror story!