Hello, my name is Casey and I am reviewing 3 selections from your Portfolio For Wheel of Torture, #51, Game of Thrones Contest.
This is the Third poem I found entitled "Mia, You Bitch", #2130120. Reading it for the first, time, I think it would make a great prose poem.
My FIRST REACTION : Here is depiction of a strong love/hate relationship. One of those can't live with or without you matters where you feel a bit trapped.
The SUBJECT of your poem is an emotional display about feelings for something or someone you cannot control, or you feel you were tricked into becoming attracted to and manipulated into such relationship.
The TONE or MOOD of your poem? Anger and frustration;resentment and awe-inspiring at the same time.
SUGGESTION for this emotional piece? I would write, rather than strung out in a 'list' or series of lines with all those "I's"; I would write it as one strong paragraph and call it a prose poem. For example:
Until we met, I never knew such loss. My soul entrapped inside a golden cage.
Mia, my love, both completion and failure were the benefit of being yours. We met when I was much too young to know but old enough to feel your soul touch mine. I failed to recognize that harm to me and saw you as the sun and moon and stars. My love complete, with every kiss; caress, you stole my thoughts until
my heart entrapped from sunup 'til sundown. My body always tested but the limits of my body never broke.
With Joan of Arc denial I stayed true. My life was for your purpose; all else denied. And so my God became my Mia, too. My mantra with a purpose only you. Reshaped my life in order to be true. And thus, denied, denied, denied all else for you. "There's always a tomorrow" was my cry, though you and I knew better, did we not? Yet, time for us, was only in the Now.
I sacrificed and boarded up my heart. The lies, like tinted windows in my soul, still colored with emotions uncontrolled. Your love's became a cross I cannot bear. In truth, you are my saddest moment's share yet also greatest.
Thanks for sharing your poem and letting me experiment with it. Write on!