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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/heaven719
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40 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Building A1  
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I don't quite understand why you'd post what looks like a school assignment here, but hey, who am I to judge? πŸ˜€ You give a solid analysis of the excerpt shown, but I'd need some more context to really understand how good of an analysis it really is. Maybe give a summary of the whole story so a reader with no context has a better idea of what's going on. Anyway, you seem to have a good grasp on grammar with no glaring mistakes, and your word choice and sentence structure is excellent. A small word of advice though , I'd avoid using terms like β€œlol” on school assignment if that's what this is. Hope I helped! πŸ˜€πŸ‘


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2
2
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
It's an interesting story you're weaving together here, but you should really proof read this. It has lots of different capitalization and grammatical errors. If you proof read this yourself, I'd recommend that you ask someone else to to point all the errors.


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3
3
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I'm not sure whether or not I should be happy or upset with this poem. It is extremely well written and seriously tugs at the heart string and gives a crucial message. However, this makes my job as a reviewer annoying. I can't find anything wrong with this poem, so I can't help you to really improve.

Sorry if I wasted your time.

Yours, Majestic Moose.


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4
4
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: E | (4.5)
I think this poem should be read to every aspiring athlete! It shows the value of hard work and perseverance. I hope others and yourself take this advice, not just for sports but for everyday life. This helped me remember that I need to work my ass off if I want to be the best!

Sincerely, Majestic Moose

P.S write on


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5
5
Review of Letter to mama  
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was an interesting piece, you don't really read too much stuff from the perspective of a slave. I'm about 98% sure that the grammar and spelling mistakes were on purpose, but if not, I'd recommend getting someone to proof read this for you.

The only thing I'd add is, how hard and intense the labor was for this man. It helps us know and understand his character better. Also, maybe consider adding the abuse he likely suffered st the hands of his master; it would help us sympathize with him and thus like him better.

Sincerely, Majestic Moose.

P.S write on


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6
6
Review of Donington  
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: E | (3.0)
Is this a NASACAR poem? While I would like to spend this review cracking jokes about left turns and stuff, that'd be obnoxious so I won't.

So time to actually review, 1st there's a spelling error "Chose" should be choose. 2nd commas should go right after a word there should be no space, the only space would be after the comma. When you format the poem like that it makes hard to read.

Sincerely, Majestic Moose

P.S Write on!


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7
7
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
πŸ˜‚I applaud you! That was short quick and a whole lot of fun. I thought you were talking about a baseball bat and then you suprised me with that trick ending. The question I have for you is, why would you hold a bat? I understand it was unplanned but still that's still a little strange.

Sincerely, Majestic Moose


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8
8
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
You may be teeny tiny bit nuts. Just kidding, you wrote a beautiful, albeit very sad, story. The story was quick and to the point but it didn't feel rushed at all. It feels like an old bedtime story you would hear when you were very little. It's very hard to find a story these days that has a magical and wonderful feel, but at the end teaches a sad but very important lesson.


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9
9
Review of Haunted House  
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
That was pretty scary and suspensful. Really glad I read this in the morning instead of last night. Anyhow I think you should describe the house a little more clearly. What did it smell like? Was it a big house? Did the floor boards creak? Just stuff like that will help get thos from a 3.5 star rating to a 5 star rating.

Write on!
Sincerely, Majestic Moose


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10
10
Review of A Poets Curse  
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Wow, that's a lot of stuff. I don't think poetry is about all that. It's about having fun with it. I could use all of the things you listed, but I'd be bored out of my mind! So, I'm glad someone else thinks that structure in poetry is boring.

Sincerely, Majestic Moose


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of Tree Branches  
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow that was really pretty and uplifting. Just a few little nit picks though, 1st It would be a little eaiser to read if you seperated it into diffrent stanzas, 2nd calm and jubilant are antonyms, I think you should put "yet" instead of "and" not only would it make sense then, it'll also add contrast, and make it more interesting!

Sincerely, Majestic Moose


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12
12
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: E | (2.5)
Alright no offense it's really boring. Try to use smaller words, because using enormous words when their not needed makes you look extremly pretentious. You bring up interesting ideas but your delievery is sub par. Also try splitting the third stanza up, short seperated stanzas are easier to read then one monster stanza.


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13
13
Review of Hey, Baby  
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: E | (2.5)
Wow! That was incredible, you managed to make something as complex as love and made it short and simple. Famous authors like Shakespear could not even dream of doing. So, sir or Madam I applaud you For doing something seemingly impossible.

Sincerley, Majestic Moose

P.s write on or else😈😈😈😈😈😈

(Muhuha Muhuhaha)


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14
14
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: E | (3.0)
An interesting storry, but you kind of left the audience hanging, you shouldn't mention a plan to murder someone if you don't plan to follow though. And why the main character wants to help a guy murder his wife. Or, why he would care if he was rude to a guy that was planning to muder his wife. I personally feel that it's an unrealistic reaction. You might also want to add what everybody looks like, are they tall,short,skinny etc. You should also consider giving your characters an age, for all the reader knows the story could be about a twelve year old.
You might also want to describe the bowling alley, like how it smells or what it looks like. And, at work why would they give hot dogs for free, and if they weren't tell us hiw much they cost.

Thank you for your time, Sincerely M.M


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15
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Review by Majestic moose
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I'll be honset that was quite deppressing😭 However it got your point across and made your reader feel emotion. It was an interesting story and I sincerely hope that you keep writing About happy things aswell as well.

sincerly Majestic moose.

P.s may the majestic moose be with you...or else 😱


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16
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Review of Fear  
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow...beatifully done. Honsetly it sends its message along wonderfully and it is incredibly well written. The descriptive adjetives you used made the story inticing and a little scary. You should consider writing a sequel displaying the emotion you currently feel after is is all over.

Sincerly Majestic moose
πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜±

P.s may the majestic moose be with you!πŸ˜€


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17
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Review of Wake up and live  
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: E | (3.0)
Wow. Was quite interesting but I think the title should have be changed to "uniformness" with the ending there. Have fun with thy future endeavors my good man. And may the fates forever be in thy favor. Thos has been done by the one the only Majestic moos


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18
18
Review of Cup Full  
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful, your poem sends a wonderful message that promotes self worth and confidence.

You should be very proud of yourself for writing something so beautifu. I hope you keep writing things like this and inspire confidence in other people.

Sincerly majestic moose.


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19
19
Review of Where I Hide  
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow the imagery you used here was incredible.

If I may make a suggestion though one: use more detail exactly on what makes you sad, or what made you mad. Number Two is you may want to add a little more darknees to the poem to make the light pop more.

Sincerly majestic moose


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20
20
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wow that was quite powerful honsetly I'm not sure how to respond to this but here are some errors I found: they were no periods,
you need to add commas at several places, and that's pretty much it.
:D Keep writing or elss
21
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Review of High Value  
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Just a question and a few suggestions. Was Marcie alive at the end or was she dead?

You might want to describe what her children were like or her husband.

You might also give her some flashbacks like when the she see's the album.

I hope I have not offended you in any way I'm just making suggestions. :D


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22
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Review by Majestic moose
Rated: E | (3.5)
Wonderful poem really I think though it would be much eaiser to read if it wasn't all in caps.

It makes things really troublesome to read when you do it LIKE THIS.

It makes it seem like your angry at the reader which will get you allot of neagtive feedback.

Which I'm sure you don't want, other than that Great Poem # :D

p.s If you don't mind checking out some of my stories give me a some feedback and a rating.


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23
23
Review of Night and Day  
Review by Majestic moose
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
It's beatiful and it brings tears to my eyes. It seemed like though you were setting them up to be lovers don't be afraid to write what you think is right. Even though it might be frowned upon by some don't be afraid to write on. If you need something to call me you may know me as William(yes I am a male)
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