Fantastic writing in this chapter. I loved the observations Mia made about there being something odd about Mr Neckerson's arrival; and I also loved the questions regarding freedom when those late arrivals pushed their way into the hall. But it really was Steph that stole the show.
Not one single typo or grammar issue that I noticed.
A very emotion-filled piece of poetry. I liked how you left the reasons the love cannot be returned unclear, giving plenty of room for the reader to guess. The comparison with the puppy was very effective, as was the concern that giving voice to feelings might finish the relationship completely.
Two tiny issues: 'You're loved by many' and 'But their love.'
Overall, a very well-written poem. The choice of font color was a nice touch too.
Some excellent character interaction in this. I kind of guessed quite near the beginning that Kyle felt much more than friendship for Emily, that he was determined not to say anything and make their parting for a year any more difficult. Once Emily spoke up, he had to, too.
This was one of those pieces that left me wondering: Did they both stick with their plans?
Some very impressive writing here. I particularly liked the way you included both versions of 'Wedding Anxieties'. Although the thoughts and feelings of Claudia were the same, they came across very differently when there was character interaction. I also liked the idea of Shakespeare's writing block. I bet it really happened sometimes, too.
This made for a very impressive read - it really was so well written. I loved the interactions between Ceravic and Nex; King and sorcerer seemed to both be able to hold their own. Some sardonic humor, especially from Nex; that remark about stupefaction made me laugh out loud.
Oh, I really enjoyed this. It was quite a convincing character sketch written from the point of view of a mug. Routine seemed to play a very big part in their relationship, so much so that I felt quite sorry for the mug when things worked out differently.
Seriously, this was a lovely fun read.
I'm guessing that this was meant in a very tongue-in-cheek way, as my experience of these places is not one that is the slightest bit relaxing. Although, having said that, there's a definite physical relaxation when leaving. Don''t you just hate it when they divide these places up!
An entertaining read!
Well, this was pretty entertaining. We don't have Wal-mart here but I should imagine a lot of the things you describe would apply to other places too. Especially the management tactics - playing statue and staring are very good techniques at putting people ill at ease.
This is very nice. Powerfully put together and very Gothic in its imagery. The sheer brutality of the transformation is shown well with the 'tearing off flesh piece by piece.' Clearly from the final line, the transformation isn't total, but pieces of the previous person remain.
I liked this right from the start, when you showed the difference between players in the way that they traveled to matches. You did an excellent job of showing the determination to win that first set - you really had me willing that character on. And the fact that the rest of the game lost didn't matter, because that initial goal had been reached.
Excellent story-telling!
I rechecked the date that you posted this, because there have been so many stormy years since then. Nature can be a formidable enemy; invisible, stealthy and inescapable. You do a good job of showing the sense of resignation that builds up over time, and the amazing ability we can have of making the best of things.
An excellent use of the prompt words in this. I liked the way you managed to use natural sounding dialogue to tell the story from beginning to end, but my favorite part was the end when you showed how empathic animals can really be in sensing people's grief.
You made this both interesting to read and acutely observational. There is no getting away from the cursing and swearing, and it does often seem like there is some secret competition going on to prove who can swear the most. It doesn't bother me, but it's not something I do. Well written and thought-provoking.
This is a piece of very clever story writing. You not only wrote a story full of insecurity and emotion and the need for reassurance, but you managed to use those lyrics so naturally. The dialogue flowed back and forth very convincingly and if you had not have underlined them, I'd never have been able to pick out the lyrics so well did they fit with the story.
Ha! This was an excellent read. It's amazing how many small disagreements can escalate out of control. I like the solution you come up with - that of compromise but of equality too. It's definitely not an easy balance to achieve though, and most often it is the female who has to give in. I hope someone writes a companion piece - 'Son, oh son...
An excellent piece of poetry that goes a long way in showing why heartburn is becoming ever more prevalent. Stress, constant rushing to meet deadlines, the quick grab of a snack while on the move all work together to cause that pain.
I bet every writer that reads this can in some way relate. Sometimes it isn't that there are no words, but that there are too many, each competing to be the ones to get used. These are the times when it is hard to make any sense at all, but sometimes just writing them out, rearranging them later can work.
What I really like about this is that it captures the spookiness of the countryside to those that are not familiar with it. The sounds, when they come, are so much louder. The scarecrow seeming to get nearer was a nice touch, especially when it turned out to be true.
Thanks for the introduction to a word I don't think I've ever come across before. The pronunciation guide was a nice touch. I think I prefer the second definition, although your sentence using the first one really did bring a smile at the image.
I simply had to give this a read simply because of the title. Some very nice rhyming in this. I think you put your finger on the attraction of poetry writing in the final verse. The freedom of expression really can be cathartic, even though the reader might never guess at the personal meaning. Very nice.
Oh, this was a wicked little flash fiction tale. Getting to the end and re-reading gave the first sentence a whole new meaning. You give just enough description to build the scene and to give a picture of both Algernon Craven and the young woman. Nice work.
This brought to my mind both 'Twas The Night Before Christmas' and 'A Christmas Carol' in a good and original way. I think it does get harder to keep our enthusiasm as we get older, especially if we are spending the holidays alone. It was a nice touch to have those children visiting... or did they? Very nice!
You did a great job in describing the character of both mother and daughter in this; the father, although mentioned seemed to play less of a part. I could very much relate to Beth's feelings, being in a pretty similar situation myself. The consolation of that butterfly's touch was a good way of concluding the piece.
This is a very moving piece of writing. Great character work considering the length of the piece, and the reader cannot help feel empathy for both husband and wife. The tree, in its leafless state, made a good comparison to the state of the relationship, as did the falling snow.
What a gorgeous tree this must have been. All those different decorations, handed down, and cherished. They must be so much better than going out and buying a bunch of new ones each year. I think my favorite would have been that wooden apple. A nice photo to accompany this too.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.34 seconds at 6:16pm on Jun 01, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
