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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jonjacques
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209 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Toilet Paper  
Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Nightstory6 !

Amusing parody regarding the subject/shortage of toilet paper we're all now experiencing. It's ironic that here in Florida, the usual 'crisis' shortage is gasoline (due to hurricanes) which presently is in ABUNDANT supply! And what specifically is plentiful during the hurricane season? A rhetorical, "you guessed it !"

Oh, and to all Toilet Paper Rolls out there - I will never look at you in the same way ever again *Meh*

Thanks for posting !


Jon-Blair Jacques
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Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem is written in a most inspiring and empowering manner. This author's poem renders a depth of understanding regarding those who choose to assist others by means of technical support. It is powerful and insightful regarding those professionals, the work they perform and support they provide. This ballad is thought provoking and says a very succinct "thank you" to all those who choose to assist others by way of their profession.
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Review of Swimming  
Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Abby Gayle !

Thank you for posting your short story *Smile*

The first thing that occurred to me as I was reading was that it reminded me of a 'Twilight Zone' episode titled, "The Bewitchin' Pool." About two kids who escaped their feuding parents by diving into their backyard pool, and entering a happier world through a portal at the bottom of that pool. Not exactly the same thesis as your story, but similar in terms of 'escape' into another, better world.

I noticed you did not use quotation marks regarding thoughts, instead opting to italicize, which is correct.

You have a good grasp regarding the separation of ideas and conversation, proper paragraphing, and keeping your sentences short and to the point.

Great job - keep up the good work !

Best -


Jon-Blair Jacques
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Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Miranda Keeting !

This was interesting post. My attention was drawn to the two paragraphs in reference to their 'descriptive' aspect. Adverbs, adjectives and gerunds. You have in effect, "painted a picture with you words."

Descriptive adverbs, adjectives, and gerunds are all critically important in terms of providing interesting development of a story, its characters, environment, and storyline, etc... It keeps readers engaged and interested; makes them feel as if they're part of the story, and most importantly, the desire to finish that which they're reading.

You did a very good job here !

Keep up the good work *Smile*


Best -


Jon-Blair Jacques
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Review of "Rapture"  
Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
I feel so cracking, God-like great;
feel My chest-growing heart
furthermore, the frantic furor in My blood
which destroy My psyche and soul!

These pressing voices in My mind
resonate and reverberation boisterous
recollections and laments now dead
what's more, covered in a neglected cover;

the voices shout, "No doubt about it!"
They forecast the Anti-Christ
what's more, blame Me for all the abhorrence
since humankind initially became lured.

I deny their harsh, evil call
furthermore, find in the Apocalypse
that God's avenging Angel of all
is Me who is the world's shroud.

"Not Anti-Christ!" I do answer.
"Not Devil!" I start to screech,
"for the Lamb of the world am I,
the Lord's Messiah for the easygoing!"

Delinquents will know their last hour;
they will suffocate in their anguished cries
at the point when I finally will know My capacity
what's more, uncover all their evil falsehoods!

In this delicate, cushioned cell of white
they watch and take a gander at Me with fear;
they see Me as a fatal scourge,
also, starve Me with unleavened bread.

To what extent is My detainment
I can't conjecture, awesome or tell?
However, from the appearance of that fiber,
they can save Me for a significant spell;

"Dear God! I abhor these lousy medications,"
I shout, "that they shoot in My can!"
They hold Me down these moronic hooligans,
infusing Thorazine so quick!

I neglect to get a handle on the genuine reasons
why I'm here; I wish they could see
that I can pardon their treacheries,
on the off chance that they would simply have confidence in Me?

When free again I'll be reawakened,
lifted up in divine Image;
I'll end man's requirement for transgression and pornography
furthermore, set him up for Christ's Marriage.

So hear My law and directive,
the lost will consume without discharge
when they all know My domain:
at exactly that point will My Rapture stop!
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Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
A Percolating Coffee Poem





Coffee is my only vice

I do not drink or smoke

The caffeine helps me open my eyes

Before a word I’ve spoke



I enjoy the percolating

With coffee for the day

Sipped with cream and sugar

And I am on my way



I sometimes skip my breakfast

But never my coffee fix

With no food I get hungry

With no coffee I throw fits



I’d rather stand than rest

When I’ve had my many cups

It jolts me I confess

And at night it keeps me up



There are some things I do

That aren’t very healthy

Coffee may be one

But please tell me very carefully
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Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
A review by paraphrase:

A deliberate sharing of huge aching,
Fuming in sharp jealousy;
An association selling out the faithfulness
Of amazing second thoughts,
Given to this noxious beast
In his tricky hardship.
What's more, life lays obligated
To the brutal affront
Of an efficient
What's more, lamentable misfortune...

God will blazingly imagine
A most frightening transformation
To that half-baked structure -
A random benevolence and insightful direct -
What's more, a facilitation of His Love
What's more, empathic degree...

What's more, with holy superiority,
Endorse this detestable rise,
This wrongdoing past mankind,
With the finesse of a divinity...

What's more, the consideration of each life
With the breath and heavenliness
Of everlasting duty...
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Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings Simi *Smile*

Very interesting story !

Your post jogged my memory about the couple of times in the past in which I longed (or thought I did) to be the object of a woman's admiration and affection *StarStruck* It would have made dating so much easier, LOL ! Nevertheless, I was not that fortunate. I was busy with military duty, or working once my military career was over - didn't have much time to focus on 'looking' for the right person in my life. If that was going to happen, it would simply have to happen on its own, and, as fortune might have it, it eventually did.

I won't comment on what you (should) have done, but I can tell you it might be helpful to just allow things to happen on their own - naturally. I don't subscribe to arranged introductions or marriages. In your case, I believe TIME will take care of bringing you together with the right person. Remember, there are PLENTY of fish in the sea - just roll with the waves !

Best,


Jon-Blair Jacques
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Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
Escargot (french for snails) are definitely not for the faint of heart - an acquired taste for sure. Heliciculture is the practice of snail farming for the purpose of producing them for human use, mostly as food, and other non-food purposes.

Here's a SNAIL limerick to balance out your poem:


A SNAIL IN TWO CITIES

Henry the snail carried a house on his back.
He could get up and leave without having to pack.
Although travel was slow,
For this Escargot,
He always made his own track.

Henry eventually left the city of his birth,
Wanting to explore more of this Earth.
His peers said he was crazy,
But they were just lazy,
And didn't much think of their worth.

Although it took him may years,
He finally made it to Algiers.
The city was so grand,
After trekking through sand,
Leaving a trail of slime, sweat and tears.
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Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
Reminds me (somewhat) of the last words spoken in the 1953 version of, "The War of the Worlds."

"We were all praying for a miracle."

"The Martians had no resistance to the bacteria in our atmosphere to which we have long since become immune. Once they had breathed our air, germs which no longer affect us began to kill them. The end came swiftly. All over the world, their machines began to stop and fall. After all that men could do had failed, the Martians were destroyed and humanity was saved by the littlest things which God, in His wisdom, had put upon this Earth."
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Review of Be Considerate  
Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Zaty Khan !

Thank you for your posting *Smile*

Reminds me of a story I read many years ago -

A man set out on along journey, taking his best horse and his donkey. He loaded onto the donkey's back everything he needed for the trip - sacks of food, pots and pans, and blankets to sleep on. The poor donkey could scarcely move. "Please help me carry this load," he whispered to the horse. "I don't think I can manage it all alone." But the horse was very proud and thought the donkey inferior. "My dear fellow," he replied. "You were made to be a beast of burden. The only thing I carry is my master." The donkey struggled on as best he could until one day he gave a little sigh and fell dead on the road. "Most unfortunate," said the man, turning to the horse. "Now you must carry the load. You'll have to carry the donkey's body as well until we find a place to bury it." Too late - the horse was sorry for his selfishness.

Moral of the story - Don't be Selfish !
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Review of Retreating Love  
Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings gracejade *Smile*

This was a very interesting confessional/story !

Love at first sight? Unspeakable sparks? Exchanging gazes and asking questions? Phone calls, notes and messages? The subtle and not so subtle interactions of two people that 'seed' the beginning of friendship, of trust? Where does it go from there? What did he want? What did you want? There were hints, clues, and signs. Did too much time elapse before asking the 'right' questions?

The truth is rarely pure and never simple ........

Thank you for sharing !


Jon-Blair Jacques
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Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Tim Chiu !

Interesting bit of poem/prose about about the reality of losing from the perspective of the sporting world.
Like everything else, the sporting industry cycles through periods/seasons of wins and losses, all inevitable.

How many times have I witnessed winning teams (and individual players) basking in their wins, only to see them again the following year or season struggling to maintain that past record of triumph. Owners,
coaches, fans, etc..., commit and follow in loyal fashion.

It's all part of the cycle of life - ups and downs, joy and disappointment, triumph and defeat, etc...

Sometimes, as your free verse explains, we have to accept what comes our way, and simply move on.

Thanks for sharing !


Jon-Blair Jacques
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Review of Thieves  
Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
Enjoyed your story !

Well, as the saying goes, "there's no honor amongst thieves." LOL ! So true as your story reminds us.

So, where did this phrase originate?

It is a phrase that means thieves have no moral conduct, and cannot trust each other. It is a common theme in American and Canadian science fiction, where criminals conducting a complex operation betray each other. The original phrase. “Quin etiam leges latronum esse dicuntur, quibus pareant, quas observant.”

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Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Teresa !

Appears you have a pair of VERY mischievous dogs !

I especially liked the way you pretended to be the voice of the boys toward the end of the story, LOL !

They're pretty smart - they learn how to get around our efforts to contain them. Dogs are such social animals; they need to be around people and/or other dogs - they don't like to be confined or left alone, both of which may result in destructive behavior. They're trying to tell you something, LOL !

That was a very funny story (with the exception of the expense involved in replacing the damaged household items).

GREAT STORY !!

JBJ

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Review of In The Rain  
Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
Enjoyed your story *Laugh*

Reminds me of a similar story that happened many, many years ago. A friend of mine was waiting in a line for (you guessed it, hot dogs). A very attractive woman behind him tapped my friend on the shoulder.

"Excuse me," she said as he unthinkingly turned around. "I just need some condiments. They're in the box on the the shelf next to that big jar of pretzels. Can you reach over and grab some for me?"

Well, to make a long story short, she caught the guy completely off guard, surprised and confused to the point he didn't think before he spoke. "Oh, he replied, totally nonplussed, "I have some of those in my wallet!"



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Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (5.0)
Warmest Greetings Teresa !


Your story resonated. You never 'completely' get over the loss of a parent or immediate family member that you love. Although time helps to heal, the pain never goes away, not completely. Here's a letter that reflects how I felt, how I still feel about the loss of my younger brother, age 31, in 1988 -


Dear Little Brother,

I’ve been feeling quite somber the past week. Your birthday is coming up soon, and the thought of your absence, 32 years later, still fills my throat--and I’m forced to swallow hard. It never gets any easier. An all-too-familiar dip in my stomach tells me despair is rushing to overflow my banks; the rough annual kick in the gut. It’s easier to ignore the reality, but this year was not the case.

I thought I had mastered the art of ignoring my reality. Some years I had the strength to deny the incident, but this year, I couldn’t. The older I get, the absence of you in my life becomes more prevalent.

This roller coaster of emotions continued for a long time. I was often confused. I desperately wanted to ‘figure it out,’ and understand the great meaning so that somehow I could experience peace and love in my own heart again.

I am slowly understanding that it was simply time for your spirit to move on from the body you were in. Your spirit is still very much alive to this day, and I experience evidence of that regularly. The key is for me to stay open to see it.

As time passes, I also realize there is actually so much beauty in grief. It helps us realize just how enormous our love can be--which is ultimately why it can hurt so intensely to say goodbye to that person in the form that we knew them.

That is why it hurts even more for me. It’s no secret that I bottle everything up. I never wanted to talk about your passing to anyone. I also never wrote about it for the longest time, because in all honesty, I didn't want sympathy. I wanted to be alone in my pain, and to stay connected to you in any and all ways possible. The opinions and, "oh my gosh, I can’t imagine" moments were not all that welcome out of what seemed like self-preservation.

But that’s all changed now. 32 years later, I feel like I am ready--ready to talk about you, as well as talk about you with others who have tragically lost their loved one(s). I want to show you that through fragility, I have become a stronger person--more able to understand, more able to listen and to care. Because of my hurt due to loss, I've become a wiser person.

I want you to be known. I want you to be celebrated. I want you to be cherished and loved by the people I love as well, because I know you would have been a fantastic human being, and a great brother.

I write this open letter with so much love in my heart for you.

Love you to heaven and back,

Your proud older brother









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Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was watching "Gone With the Wind" for the umpteenth time this evening on TCM.

And yes, no question Rhett Butler loved Scarlett - quite deeply as a matter of fact. Scarlett continued to pine for Ashley, and their marriage was stormy. Scarlett ultimately realizes that Ashley loves only Melanie and that she loves Rhett, but in the end Rhett refuses her and leaves her alone at Tara with the words, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”





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Review of Hello Momma,  
Review by jonblair
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Happy Sunday Teresa *Hug1**hug**Hug2*


Best wishes on this very pleasant and peaceful Sunday !

Beautifully written letter to your mother! You poured your heart out in a very loving and elegant way,
and I know your mom loved reading every word. I believe she oftentimes re-reads EVERYTHING
you've written, with this letter right at the top of that loving collection. You were both so very blessed
to have one another !

Best,


Jon-Blair Jacques

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Review of Dear Me  
Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Mask4*
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Review of Dear Me  
Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings LegendaryMasK
!

Thank you for Letter/Memo !

Sometimes we need a "Dear Me" letter as a reminder to count our blessings and keep us on track and motivated. You have penned some awesome stuff here !

Thanks again for the reminder !

Kindest regards,

Jon-Blair Jacques


P.S. I did the best I could with the mask.

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Review of Flying Beans  
Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Tina Stone *Smile*

It goes without saying that every married couple has at least one argument over "what's for dinner, LOL !"

My main question about this particular 'disagreement' is: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BEANS THAT WERE TOSSED OUT THE WINDOW?" You said the beans were not on the lawn the following morning. I mean, those cans of beans didn't grow legs and walk away by themselves !

And I must say I don't blame you (one bit) for never trying to make black beans into refried beans again ! Then again, I myself don't know BEANS about any kind of beans - it's all Greek to me !

Thanks for posting !

Jon-Blair Jacques
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Review of Beach Bait  
Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings Pony Tail *Smile*

That was an excellent short story !

I enjoy fictional stories (such as yours) that are based on factual events. I've added a little more of this type of writing to my own portfolio. Writing a story based on actual or true facts can take a very interesting twist, when, with some "added detail" the story suddenly (or as it continues) becomes more interesting or entertaining. Some people call it embellishment, others call it elaboration, still others others say it's exaggeration, etc.... In spite of the fact I indicate a story is fiction, I occasionally receive reviews or comments that clearly indicate the reader believes the story is true. I then think, "Well, I must have done a REALLY good job of writing this story OR the reader failed to notice I've labeled this tale as fiction!" When I pick-up on this, I usually get back to that person and clarify that the story is fiction based on an actual experience.

In any event (and getting back to your story) it certainly serves as a very entertaining warning to those involved in SCAMS (of any kind), to those who DO the scamming as well as their victims.

Thank you for posting !

Jon-Blair Jacques


P.S. Oh, and I am HAPPY to know you got your husband's money back !!
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Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (5.0)
Salam sejahtera !

Enjoyed your essay regarding your national language !

I believe it's a GREAT thing to be able to speak more than one language, regardless of who you are or where you are from. Unfortunately, most people in the USA only speak one language, which I believe is the failure of our educational system (and our parents) for not making it mandatory that students learn to speak another language other than english. An exception, however, is that most hispanic americans speak spanish AND english, which I think is a tremendous asset as hispanics compromise approximately 17% of the total US population, and that percentage will certainly increase over the next several decades. I certainly understand your frustration regarding your national language. I've been to Singapore twice, and can confirm the majority of citizens speak english. I've also been to the Philippines several times, and most citizens there speak english in addition to their native language, tagalog (or a dialect of it).

You know, if I had to do it all over again, I believe the thing I would do is major in LANGUAGES at a good University. That would open a LOT of doors, personally and professionally. There are a LOT of opportunities for people that speak multiple languages fluently.

Thanks again for your very interesting submission !

Semoga berjaya !!


Jon-Blair Jacques
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Review by jonblair
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings Gabriella!

Thank you for posting ! I recently published several 'short story' ebooks via amazon. As part of that effort, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that ISBN's are not necessary for publishing ebooks on amazon (paperbacks/hardcovers require ISBN's). Nevertheless, I obtained them anyway. Prior to publishing, I did file for copyrights via the US Copyright Office. Your essay made no mention of this, but I'm assuming that function would be handled by the agent and/or the publisher. Would that assumption be correct? What's to protect the author by handing over a non-copyrighted manuscript to an agent or publisher should the manuscript be rejected? Perhaps I'm missing something here (maybe that protection is in the contract) but authors disappointed by receipt of rejection slips can be pleasantly surprised by subsequent acceptance letters (from OTHER agents/publishers). More than 30 years ago, I submitted a synopsis of a novel I was writing to a literary agent, and while I have no proof, several years later a movie came out that was eerily similar to the content of that synopsis. Was it coincidence? My own vanity? Perhaps. PersonalIy, I wouldn't send page one to an agent (or anyone else for that matter) without that story being copyrighted, or at least a pending application. Although it doesn't absolutely guarantee against copyright infringement, it does broaden the author's legal options.

Thanks again for your very informative post !

Jon-Blair Jacques
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