I'm Amy and I'm a member of the"Paper Doll Gang"and I am honored to review "Fundamentals" .
i would like to offer you the following comments:
I found this a very thought provoking piece and well thought through. I especially like the way you put the badger and the business man following paragraphs told the story from different points of views.
Story Strength:
It was very believable and you expressed the feelings so well. I also liked how you had the message of the greed and destruction so clearly shown.
Suggestion:
Is this perhaps the start of other stories? The ending left me as a reader wondering if there is perhaps more to follow.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
I would just like to point the following out to you:
1.You wrote:" A man rams his ay through the door, instantly noticing his yellow hardhat." The ay is a bit confusing and may i suggest rephrasing the end of the sentence to; I instantly notice his yellow hardhat.
2.You wrote:"All they can remember is when my family here." Replace "when" with what and replace "here" with was. It will make the sentence in the context of the chapter make more sense
3.You wrote:"They would not safe me I convinced myself. May i suggest a comma between "me" and "I"
4.You wrote:"Money is the only think that sets humans apart from each other." Replace "Think" with thing
5.You wrote:"Startled by the scene they had not moved." Use a comma between "scene" and "they".
In the introduction to the piece you wrote you mentioned you wrote it in year 12. It is very well written and as I read some of your other work as well, You have grown and became even better since then.
Greetings Restless Spirit.I'm Amy and Im part of the"Paper Doll GanG"
After reading, I would like to offer these comments:
I found this a poignant work speaking of the strong and obvious loving bond shared with the storyteller and the parent.
Story Strenght:
The honest and open hearted sharing of not only the love but also the emotional pain of both the storyteller and the parent draws the reader in. And shows the courage to care.
Also it is a reminder of that what we take for granted.
Suggestions:
I really liked this as it is written.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
I found the spelling and punctuation Grammar well used by the writer.
I found the following as really like able in your story:
The sharing of the precious memories and the willingness to share this with me as the reader.
Thank you for sharing your work.It was an honor reveiwing it!
I'm Amy and I'm a member of the"Paper Doll Gang"and i am honored to review "Hardened" .
i would like to offer you the following comments:
I liked Hardened.n The story was very well written. I love how you brought the feelings out and grabbed me as the reader into it.
Story Strength:
Your character is well described as well as where he finds himself and how he got there. Most of all i love the ending. It is brilliant.
Suggestion:
i love the story as it is.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
Your work is free from spelling mistakes. Awesome!
I would like to offer you the following comments:
I read all five chapters of Shades of Midnight Snow. And this review covers all of the chapters. Firstly I want to congratulate you on a well written, well thought through work. The storyline was very good and it caught my attention and kept it.
Story Strength:
The storyline is strong and the characters strongly written and well presented to the reader. One could associate and identify with the characters well. You have created a feeling of suspense and mystery
Suggestion:
I would suggest a continuation to the tale as i for one is anxious to see what happened to Anya and Dom further.
Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
Your use of punctuation and grammar is very good and so is the spelling. It was a pleasure to read this.
My name is Amy and I'm reviewing your story for the Paper Doll Gang.
I found the story imaginative and very well written. I especially loved the fact that you allowed the reader to make up their own mind what the main character was till the very end.
That created a feeling of suspense and it was quite easy to associate with its fear and other emotions. I also found your subtle criticism of what we do to the planet delightful.
It was an honour to read this story and i look forward to reading more of your work.
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Hi QX~Brenton 
Thank you for sharing your work.