This piece flowed well and had a wealth of emotion running through it. The pain was visible. The piece grabs you with the first line and continues to hold your attention. I think that the third stanza was my favorite but the entire poem is easy to relate to. Well done! lin
I think I needed to read this faster. I know the last 5 lines definitely indicated rage. It is definitely an angry piece but I think you might need to expound more. I wanted to understand the piece and I shall have a look in your port and see if there is anything I get a better grip on.
I really enjoyed this piece. It flowed well and had a lovely rhythm. I also liked the focus of the piece. I love the days that I am wandering around with the song in my heart! I think that my favorite is the second stanza. This was a good read. Thanks. Lin
This was good. I hesitate to say a poet should do something but I think that it needs some punctuation. It had good rhythm though and flowed well. You created good mental images with your words and I like your philosophy in the poem. I will have a look inside your port. Keep writing. Lin
I enjoyed this piece. Music can be related to in so many ways. I remember old loves, good and sad times, it brings us joy and peace. Makes us want to dance. This piece flowed well. My favorite part was the first stanza. The poem does grab your attention from the start. It is almost a song in itself. Good job. Lin
This was a very powerful, moving story. No one reading this could feel neutral. You have got the town and the people with you use of dialect. I think that this would make a good novel, have you ever considered that? I am very impressed with your use of ddescription as well. You had me feeling pretty sick there, for the whole story. Well doen! Lin
This was really beautiful. When something ends we seek answers as to why and how. You have doen that with your letter. At the end of all the questions you seem to have the necessary answers. Some answers we will never have. I feel from what I read, that you are a strong person and you will move forward and make your own life. It take scourage to publish something so intimate. Good for you. May you move forward in light and love. Lin
Our muse-inspiration -desire to write. Good job! I really enjoyed reading this and it flowed well. Your words created a good mental image for me. I enjoyed the fact that I actually had to use my brain to figure out what the real subject was. If I am wrong please let me know. Lin
This poem was really beautiful. It need not be jsut for a soldier, it could be for anyone parting from a loved one. I think it would be a good lyric for a song. It flowed nicely and your choice of words reminded me of very old poetry or a lament. Well done. Lin
Well, you made me think. Mission accomplished! This was very good. I just wish it had been a bit longer with more examples. This is a fun poem. I like anything that makes me really engage the brain cells and you did. I will have to look at your portfolio and see if there are more like that about. Lin
well done, I enjoyed this. A statement that I wish could be made about all our knights. Those of today and those of years gone by. I had a clear picture of a knight out to pasture and sadness over his loss btu even a knight aould admit it is the better course for him to battle no more. The poem flowed nicely. A good read. Lin
This was really beautiful and about a topic I really love. I had a clear mental picture through the whole poem. You ahve captured what I consider the true life force. There is so much to learn if we only follow the river, and stay the course. Thank you for an enjoyable read. Lin
I thought that this was good! I liek that you say you are writing for yourself, as something to look back on when you are older. I also like that you say you aren't editing etc. you are free-writing. Not many would publish those thoughts and I think it is great that you are sharing yourself this way. Many of us, if we were honest, would say we had thoughts similar in nature. You actually have a good "turn-of-phrase". I loved the way it ended with "my soul weeps". You have a wry sense of humor, sensitivity and the ability to laugh at yourself. As they say in Australia, "Good on ya"! Lin
This flowed pretty well. It is a good subject. obsessive and out of control comes to mind. I wanted it to be a bit more definitve, I think. Maybe a bit longer. I am not good at reviewing poetry but I love to read it. I am not sure how helpful I am being here but I will look at your port and see if I can do better. In the meantime, keep writing. Lin
I thought this was extremely helpful. As members we should take the time to read about how the system works. This encourages participation on many levels fro everyone. The use of color helps keep things sorted and points out what is truly important. If the reader prints it out for later reference, they don't have tog o back to highlight items because you have already doen that for us. Once again, a job well done. Thanks for all your effort! Lin
Great twist! I loved this. I had great visual swirling and twirling in my brain through the whole read. It flowed well. You caught my attention and kept it. I could feel the creativity flowing. I loved the question at the end. The world within a world within a world has always fascinated me. My only suggestion- how about adding some color with the font. Lin
This is one of the best folders that I have visited. I have taken writing courses that did not teach me as clearly as the material that you have provided. The form, the content, the additional websites, the exercises are all excellant. I am happy that I found your site and thank you for all the effort. I hope that I improve and will be suggesting to others that they have a look at your work. Lin
This will be extemely helpfulto me as a learning tool.I am trying to branch out and stretch, and I remember so little from school. Thanks for all the effort! I will check out all the other items in this folder as well. Hopefully I will improve my skills with all this help. Thanks, Lin
That brought tears to my eyes. I am a great lover of tradition. A regular holiday junkie. I think my favorite holidays start with Halloween and go right through New Year's Day. I can relate to the changes a family goes through, because I now live on the other side of the world. I celebrate with as much memory as I can muster and have incorporated American with Australian tradition. Your story helped me remember a few moments I had forgotten. Well done! Thanks for a good read. Lin
That blue me away! The ending was a shocker! Well done. The twist was well plotted. I think that the whole story moved at a good pace. Your narrative flowed nicely. The basic concept was really good. You fleshed out the child as well as the adult main charecter well. I enjoyed this. It made me feel really creepy and reminded me that cruelty can truly come back to haunt you! Lin
You brought tears to my eyes with this one. I have always found it hard, with family members in the service, to think of them in this situation. You have captured what they have expressed to me about how they felt. I think that your use of color really enhances the pieces. I paint and I tend to think in color, so I appreciate its use in all things. This flowed well and created good images. Another good job! lin
This is a wonder site and a great idea. I hope you get lots of visitors. My first husband was a career soldier in the US Army. After he died and I remarried, I gained 2 childern who joined the Australian forces. One was with the Royal Australian Airforce (RAAF) for 5 years and my daughter is a Captain in the Royal Australian Army. I am a woman between 2 countries but I am proud to have family that served and still serves both. Good on ya all!
Wonderful! Sentiments I have also sent upwards! This flows nicely. Good imagery. Simple but ehartfelt, a prayer in poetry. Good luck in contest! Hope that you win. I think the use of colors was a very good idea. Blue was the perfect choice here putting me in mind of sky, restfulness and even protection. (so many of the police use blue) Well done! Lin
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