This was good use of imagery. I love trees so I enjoyed this piece. I enjoyed the phrasing. my favorite line was: "Your strength and endurance went not unseen,...". I think things flow well. On the first line, should there be a space between the words; stand and forlorn? Well done! Lin
Good for you! You have given me a better understanding of dyslexia and a new reason for being patient with others. We all make typos. Our brains are working faster than our fingers, or our ideas are flowing too much to stop. It always helps to come to Writing.com and receive the friendly advice, editing and encouragement of the memebers. I learn something new every day but today I learned somthing important.
Thanks so much for sharing and your positive attitude about overcoming obstacles! Lin
I have been wanting to improve my reviewing. This will be of great help to me, as will all the related items that you posted. I think one of the most important aspects of writing.com is the quality of the feedback, and the reviews you receive. I have taken actual writing courses that did not help me as much as this site has. Thanks for all the effort. Lin
This was really good. I like the way you slipped back and forth in time. The use of Spanish let us know a great deal about this man. You have fleshed out your charecters. We are always reminded of Angelina awaiting her fate. The story put me in mind of Hemmingway. This was a very sensitive and a very sad story but tells us a great deal about the nature of love. One correction: "...weathered photograph Angelina" should that be OF Angelina? This was a very enjoyable read! Thanks! Lin
I have 2 favorite spots and one of them is the beach. You have caught the joy of an early seaside morning and the lift it can bring you! Well done!
Lin
This was a really good review. You were easy to read and understand. You are correct about he cover of the book! lol! I look forward to reading more of your reviews. Lin
This was beautful! A fitting tribute to a strong. loving woman. In the paragraph where your mother moves out to care for your grandmother, I think you may have left something out. "Then my mother essentially moved out her house and my father, to move in with my grandmother..." Should that be "out of her house and away from my father" or did she move herself and your dad out and into your grandmother's home? Well done!
Lin
I think that I have been in that restroom only they moved it to another state! Very evocative. I had a perfect mental picture going of the restrooms and the woods! What a relief to be a boy or to have sons! You have combined a good travel log with a timely warning!
Lin
I don't really want to DISCOURAGE someone who has the courage to write and post. I find that aspect of rating and reviewing very hard. So I read it even if it is painful because they are deserving of that consideration. Then I try to find positive things to comment about. I believe that if they have posted they have the desire to write. I don't suppose we do many favors for people we find difficult to read, if we aren't honest. I guess I also feel that you can only take so many critical comments before you do discourage someone. Lin
This was really good. We live in the country but we also have the fear of suburbia taking over as so many farmers are packing it in and selling their land to developers. Then what will all the wildlife do? This was thoughtful and I felt like we were just sitting and chating! Lin
This is a wonderful concept. I think it has real potential. You could have the continuing story of anthony and his hands. Kids would love it. You do need to go back on the story, line for line,for punctuation and grammer. Your dialogue is very good. You have a good sense of humor!
lin
I loved the line "I was in love with a poet once..."
I think this is good with real potential but you need to go back on it line for line and correct spelling and grammer.
Keep writing!
Lin
Very evocative. I had a nice clear mental picture going. Aren't paths wonderful? I find that when when I stumble on a special place, that someone I loved would have enjoyed, I also feel that they are with me.
Lin
You should be running a clas in writing! This was great! Have had a few similar realtionships. Am also living in a "foreign" country where they aren't all anti-American but have hit a few walls! Well done!
Lin
I am STILL laughing! I have been there, done that, and have SEVERAL shirts! I am in complete agreeement! I moved to Australia - the land of the HUNTSMAN (See Tarantula in dictionary) and I almost called off my wedding because I did NOT think I could live where the hairy ones do. But that is another story! Well done!
Lin
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