|Dear M. Blackwell:
WOW may I start out with this is AMAZING! I loved where you went with it. When I began I was thinking dear God please don't let this be a vampire story. I really can't stand anymore vampire stories from anyone. THIS IS SOOOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER!
I will give one constructive criticism, at the very end there. As Tom walks away it changes point of views. It could get kinda confusing.Maybe another way to keep it in there *I woudn't suggest ridding of it because it does bring so much more emotion to the end* maybe say "As I walked away I swear the wind carried her silky voice, caressing my senses on final time, "Good-bye Thomas, I love you," was the last I heard from Daphne. You don't have to change it that is the complete artist discretion, or you could change it your own way. You are more than welcome to use what I said as another option. Whatever you feel is best for your piece of amazing writing right here.
Again Bravo! And keep up the amazing work!