This piece hits a bit close to home to me.. so it made my eyes well up with tears. I definitely like this. It is something that is refreshing...to see realer writing.. not something all gushied up for love. Not that a love poem isn't good I love love poetry LOL but sometimes it is over done...
I actually enjoyed this more than Harry Potter! LOL .. I felt bad for Dudley. It was really funny to read what it would be like if the story had gone the other way around. Honestly with the Harry Potter craze I am surprised there haven't been more parodies. It's nice to read something so unique!
Dear M. Blackwell:
WOW may I start out with this is AMAZING! I loved where you went with it. When I began I was thinking dear God please don't let this be a vampire story. I really can't stand anymore vampire stories from anyone. THIS IS SOOOOOOOOO MUCH BETTER!
I will give one constructive criticism, at the very end there. As Tom walks away it changes point of views. It could get kinda confusing.Maybe another way to keep it in there *I woudn't suggest ridding of it because it does bring so much more emotion to the end* maybe say "As I walked away I swear the wind carried her silky voice, caressing my senses on final time, "Good-bye Thomas, I love you," was the last I heard from Daphne. You don't have to change it that is the complete artist discretion, or you could change it your own way. You are more than welcome to use what I said as another option. Whatever you feel is best for your piece of amazing writing right here.
This is a piece that a lot more people should read. To be honest most of the time I avoid the whole "religious" debate, being I am the kind of person who avoids confrontation, but your piece has risen in me a new side for my own views. This is very very well written and I give you kudos for posting.
This brought tears to my eyes! You have an amazing story right here. There was so much emotion put into a piece like this. I read your story twice, the impact of emotion greater the second time. I could imagine the love and the youth behind this story. And I remember when I first fell in love.
I decided to take a stroll through your portfolio after reading your Tam-Lin piece.. I found this one to be a very good set up and build for these characters. I honestly would be interested on reading more. I believe you could go to amusing areas with this group of characters here. The characters are quite believable and the style is set up nicely. As you have pointed out you are not looking at the grammar so critically so I would not bore you with grammar details, though I didn't see many anyway.
This was a very interesting story. I liked reading it. it reminded me of a few old movies i loved back in the day. You have very good imagery in here. I wonder if this is its own piece or part of a larger piece. If it is its own piece may i suggest making it a larger story?
I really enjoyed this. A lot of my family is military and many of the friends i made in school were people i was in Army JROTC with. And a lot of the time, like many before them, my military friends and family are spit on for what they are doing. People don't appreciate what they stand for.
This piece really spoke to me..very well written. When i was 19 years old my daughter was born dead at 8 months along. And for the longest time i found myself being and feeling like someone else. It was the kinda thing that ruins a part of you for life. So this piece was very easy for me to relate to.
This is awesome, Jonas!! Classic Jonas for sure! Making an awesome story that is absolutely enthralling throughout! You are really an awesome writer! I wish I could write like you do. I am getting better but i am still not there yet! I really enjoy your writing!
This is kinda interesting. It isn't very long yet it has amazing description! Now i am sure you could go a million ways with this and make a really awesome story! I like how it is not even set up so that you can't actually sit there and have an automatic story!
Wow, Jonas! This was absolutely awesome! I was like enthralled until the very end. It had your old touch to it for sure! As a reply to your email maybe i will do it to kinda keep my mind rolling because lately i have hit a creative block. And i need to get overt it somehow.
this was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! I really enjoyed it and honestly didn't want it to end! I could see this being one awesome story! And it is something i am sure everyone in their life has thought about at least once, going back and having that time again that changed their life. Very well done piece!
i would love to shake 123 other hands! In my opinion love is love. I grew up in a house with 2 heterosexual parents (so i thought) and it was unhealthy as it gets with roots of different types abuse running and scarring deep. Then when my father came out that he was gay (and later to be known my mother had also been with women). When i moved in with my father and his partner i knew a house of nothing but love and protection. I don't agree with the statement that Gays are ruining the sanctity of marriage, because i believe from the first heterosexual divorce and mock of a weddings (as most of them are now) the sanctity of marriage was past ruined. And i believe that if two people are happy and the relationship is healthy more power to them!
I have to be completely honest with you. I think that people are putting WAY too much into this. Now i am not to say that things weren't bad here for a bit, but i think now things like this are so out of hand. I think a lot of people are just feeding a fear that should just be let go.
Sure sound smell touch and taste are good senses but honestly i really don't think i could go without sight. I am much too much of a person who loves to see...to experience bright colors and piled snow. To see a beautiful baby or a tiny puppy. OR even the worn ruined building in a city or the fire on wood. I am much too into seeing.
I think 204 people are a little too close-minded for the 21st century. Sure it's not something anyone would expect to learn of someone BUT i don't think it makes them any less of a person. I don't find it disgusting or weird or anything. But then again maybe i am more open minded because my father is gay and well i am just generally a very accepting person. KUDOS to you for asking and being open and honest.
I bow to you for being the master of shock! Like this could definitely be one hell of a movie! You could well known for your shock factor! I would most definitely buy your movies and your books!! *Bowing motion* YOU ROCK!!
This is quite interesting to me. Usually I am not much into science fiction pieces but you have proved that someone if putting the right amount of work into it can come up with an interesting science fiction piece. And being as I have read other pieces of your work i can surely say you are an amazing writer.
Sadly this piece stood out to me for personal reasons...not to say it is not a great piece, because it very much is. But it is sad because in this day and age this is the story of many young people. There is so much pressure on us to be this or that..and we run around raging ourselves as we try to please everyone. But sadly that is impossible.
I enjoyed reading this very much. I love how he is alive at the end. Your writing have very good descriptive words in it that painted a very beautiful picture for me. Good job! I honestly didn't expect it to end on such a positive happy note. Very well done.
~Genna Fajro
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