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1
1
Review of Thinking  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Jen.

You've unraveled a common thread that oft goes unexplored.

With each carefully selected word, the reader reflects on their life and wonders not only of a past they can't change but a future they could help make brighter.

Those last two lines are my favorite as the determination of inner strength is something I'm never too sure of; one can measure their external strength, but how do you measure what lies deep within?

Although maybe you're not speaking of if one can lift the hypothetical rock of positivity but how many attempts we take at trying; how many times do we bend and struggle before we quit?

Do the determined not outlast the strong?

I adore this flawlessly written, thought-provoking piece; life moves faster nowadays, and we can't outrace our worries, but we can stop, think, and resolve what woes we can.

Have a great day!

From your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello, slongentl.

This is a remarkable poem.

Your style and meter are flawless.

As amazing as this piece is, I have spotted a few small niggles, those being:-

"head held in whatever position thy desire" should possibly be "head held in whatever position thy desires".

"stroked by soft pedals of amour" should possibly be "stroked by soft petals of amour".

"alluring thy near as if" should possibly be "alluring thou near as if".

You consistently don't use capitalization, periods or commas here, making me think that it was a stylistic decision and not a grammatical mistake.

Those last five lines are simply beautiful.

Your courageous ability to express the poetic contents of your heart is stunning, and I envy your free-flowing wit.

To reiterate what I stated in the last review, I can't wait to read more of your work in the future.

Have a fantastic day!

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello S.E. Mabson.

I love revenge stories and this tale of a madman's vengeance is awesome.

You've presented Darien's hallucinations in a frightfully realistic way.

His transition from a bullied psychotic to a demented, blood-craving murderer was chilling.

I did find a few little typos though.

Those being:-

In your title, you wrote Pychosis instead of Psychosis.

You've also written feedle position instead of fetal position, Creeppy instead of Creepy, and finally his body laid limo instead of his body laid limp.

Other than those tiny niggles, I had an absolute blast reading this.

From your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor

P.S. Congratulations on the well deserved weekly SCREAMS!! win.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of Toressa  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Ron.

I love the way this piece rhymes; the way you switch your rhythm yet maintain the flow is astounding.

As I read this, I could almost hear the beat of the song.

I imagined a great folk singer, a cross between James Taylor and Neil Young.

Although I haven't heard your voice yet, after reading these lyrics, I'd love to know how close my interpretation was to your intention.

I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

Your newest fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello S.E. Mabson.

Congrats on the win & newsletter feature, after reading this I can tell you that they were well deserved.

Many times in horror, authors tend to over-explain everything, you haven't.

You've left out enough to leave us readers intrigued.

I liked the creepy tone of this piece, and the unended mystery.

You never reveal the fate of Mrs. Klondine, does she meet a similar fate to their parents, or does she protect them?

I can't wait to read what you write next.

Have a great day.

From your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Imponderables  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Zeke.

Wow!

Your vivid observations make me feel as though I am sitting on a bench in the mall, watching these people first-hand as they go about their lives.

The way that you've imbued your inner monologue with this style of majesty is awe-inspiring.

A truly phenomenal piece, and one of my new favourite poems on this sight.

From your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of Never Tell  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Mike.

This piece is amazing.

Your atmosphere and tone is dark and mysteriously enthralling.

This story captivated my interests to the last line

What you've achieved in so few words is incredible.

That last line chilled me to my core.

Congratulations on writing an excellent piece of flash fiction.

From your newest fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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8
Review of "Tit-for-Tat"  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Alexis.

Congratulations on the Screams!!! win.

After reading this piece, I can tell you that it was well deserved.

Christians once wrote of pride being a sin, although it seems to have overtaken our world now.

This piece reads like

I adore the colourful language that you use here, my favourites being "boob-man" and "jubblies".

This piece reads like an episode of the Twilight Zone, a just desserts revenge style plot told exquisitely.

I did find one thing you may want to consider revising.

You write, "She had the persistent sense that a certain part of her body was getting smaller.", then repeat the same sentiment one sentence later.

Other than that small criticism, I believe that you have written a fantastic little horror story.

From your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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9
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jen.

Short, sweet and utterly terrifying.

The concept that our entire world may exist inside a child's plaything is a scary enough thought, but to then think that our protagonist may have just upended her entire universe by an act as simple as shoveling snow is much scarier.

You have captured the moment perfectly without wasting our time and I applaud you for it.

Stay awesome.

Sincerely, your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Ken.

The way this piece flows intrigues me.

At points it's stilted, in perfect spots, enough to capture the reader's attention and get them to read on the next few flowing lines before another road block.

Like cars bottle-necking on a highway, ogling at a family on the roadside, the father kicking his tires in frustration, each driver speculating as to the why before driving on and experiencing something similar down the road.

The way that you have humanised the alien in the artwork to a place where the reader can more easily relate is fascinating.

That cascading end to the third and fifth paragraph really expose our protagonist's unending agony.

You would have made Giger proud.

Congratulations on writing a great piece.

From your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor

P.S. How did you do that nifty rollover trick that defines "stygian"?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of Shell  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello S.E. Mabson.

This slightly confronting piece feels like a dredged up story once lived, but soon forgotten by time.

I have a few minor suggestions which you may consider, those being:

Where you've written "Everyday his mind-" should become "Every day his mind-"; "Everyday" is defined as "typical" or "ordinary", whereas "every day" means "each day".

The line "The depths of the void blackness in his eyes appeared to be endless." seems a little confusing.

My last little niggle is your use of the cliche phrase "hustle and bustle".

The band-aid is removed, now onto the good stuff.

I like the gritty raw, intensity of this piece; you never once shy away from the emotional impact of the husband's violent acts against the protagonist.

Your unique phrasing such as "green wonders" is fantastic and should be utilised more often.

What you've achieved here in so few words is simply marvelous.

Keep it up.

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Alexis.

I like this.

The way that you were able to get the point of the story across without going into extraneous detail and ruining the mystery is wonderful.

One small typo that I have found is that you wrote "junk -silver" where it should be "junk-silver".

This aside, well done on writing a fantastic piece of flash fiction.

Keep it up.

I'm excited to read more from you in the future.

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review of Black Widow  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello ElizJohn.

This is an interesting poem with a nice, steady flow.

You've really put us inside the mind of a black widow and I thank you for such a fresh, if dark insight.

A thought-provokingly wonderful piece.

I look forward to reading more of your work.

From your newest fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Sindbad

This piece is wonderfully dreamlike.

My favourite line here is "Some didn't care and wanted to go suck on rainbows", I picture psychic vampires feasting on joy, depriving us of all pleasure and happiness.

The way that you can make the user visualise exactly what is on the page is awe-inspiring.

I did find a small typo however, "ceasless" should be "ceaseless".

This small niggle aside, I thoroughly enjoyed this remarkably entertaining piece and can't wait to read more of your work in the future.

From your newest fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of The Forever Wife  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Seuzz.

I can completely understand how this piece won the Weird Tales contest, it is entertaining in the most engrossingly, diabolical way.

Congratulations.

From your newest fan and friendo,
Laurie Razor

PS For some reason I am reminded of that Sartre quote that we all learn in high school, "Hell is other people", which I guess is kind of true for poor Dr. Richter.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review of Prison of Defeat  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Jillian

Your poem reminds me of a wonderful song that I have never heard.

I feel that this could use some grammatical marks at the end of your lines.

That small niggle aside however, I feel that you have captured the blues that you felt at not being able to succeed and expressed them near perfectly here.

Feel good in knowing that you have succeeded in writing a marvellous piece.

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor
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17
Review of Lonely  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Alice.

Welcome to WDC.

This piece is so dark and relatable, I love it.

You really projected your inner isolation and your alienation from your peers well.

If I could give you one grammatical suggestion, it would be to put a semi-colon instead of a comma between "cannot decide" and "will I be".

This small niggle aside however, this is a wonderful first piece in your portfolio.

Keep writing.

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of Love Cycles  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Tim.

I really like your one, two rhyming scheme.

Short and simple but highly effective.

The imagery of your metaphors are visually enticing.

If only all of us could change this cycle to our desire then we could feign happiness and not blame each other for our foibles.*Laugh*

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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19
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Maria.

I had never heard of a Dodoitsu before reading this piece so first I would like to thank you for teaching me something new.

Although I have to disagree with you about pitted prunes being "Deliciously organic", I have to say I like what you have achieved here.

The visual pattern that you reached with the suffix "-ly" leading it to cascade in a perfect diagonal line is pure genius.

Very creative.

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor

PS You have inspired me to try writing a Dodoitsu of my own now.

Wish me luck.*ThumbsUpL*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Cinn.

I like how this poem flows.

This type of wonderful creativity is amazing.

Both tragically real and slightly comedic by the end.

The loneliness emanates strongly, cutting deep into my very soul.

Grammatically this piece could use some work although this piece has left me awestruck (Especially for an older piece such as this).

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor

P.S. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review of The Visitor  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Angus.

This piece is amazing.

You start off strong and never let the tension drop.

I love the way you kept me hooked, drip-feeding details at a perfect pace to sate my growing curiosity.

To then end it the incredible way that you did.

Was all that had just transpired a mere lucid dream or did Perry now have a dire choice to make?

I believe an open ending like this makes the horror all the more real.

Why should a horror writer ever try and make the reader feel safe at the end of a story?

From start to finish "The Visitor" was absolutely terrifying in the best way possible.

This style of writing is why I now consider you the greatest horror writer that I have read on this site so far.

I must read more of your work.

From one of your biggest fans,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Bubblegum Jones.

This was a really fun challenge.

Here's my entry:-

Once upon a time there was a goldfish named Mark.

Everyday, he stared intensely up at the glowing orb in the sky, dreaming of flying out of his small tank to see what great waters lay beyond this light. A magical sea that could somehow bring even a shred of meaning to his meaningless existence.

One Day, he decided that he should escape his monotonous routine and turn his fantasy into a reality. So he decided to simply gather momentum and launch himself beyond the alabaster ceiling, to that hidden magical sea high above him.

Because of that, he crashed into the ceiling hard and fell a great distance to a cold and uncaring surface that was devoid of water; he flopped around in a panic against this alien floor as his gills had, for some reason, now failed him.

Until finally, he gave up. Staring curiously into the vast landscape of nothingness as he waited for death to take him.
As he took his final breath, Mark's last thoughts were of his tank and not of the magical waters beyond the light which rejected him.
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Review of Running  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Helen.

Congratulations on writing a very atmospheric and highly entertaining piece.

I did find one small error with it though.

You wrote "They were stories" which you should consider changing to "There were stories".

That small niggle aside, I loved how you kept the core mystery alive by not revealing the monster that was chasing the trio nor why it was chasing them.

Even if you don't finish writing this story, I still believe it stands strong as an independent short.

I can not wait to read more form you in the future.

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor

P.S. You should consider adding a line break after each paragraph as it can make it slightly easier to read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of A Night Walk  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello again Jenstrying.

As you can see I wasn't lying when I said that I was looking forward to read your work also.

This story is so amazing, it has a real heart to it.

It feels so much more than a mere short ghost story, your protagonist's emotions are on their sleeve which is refreshing as so many writers seem to write how their characters react and not how they feel.

What I am trying to say is that your use of internal dialogue throughout the piece gave me, as a reader, a real sense of what the protagonist was going through.

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor

P.S. You have made a new fan.

P.P.S. I also liked the friendly kitty.
Not enough stories have nice helpful kitties nowadays.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review of Flutter  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Dreaming-Demon.

You have the soul of a poet.

I have read through a few other pieces that you have written on this site and they are all at this same high standard as well.

Your work inspires me.

I love your work, this one piece in particular.

Flutter is one of the greatest poems that I have read on this site so far.

Consider me one of your biggest fans and one who is increasingly excited to see what comes next.

Sincerely yours,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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