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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/laurie-razor
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54 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello, slongentl.

This is a remarkable poem.

Your style and meter are flawless.

As amazing as this piece is, I have spotted a few small niggles, those being:-

"head held in whatever position thy desire" should possibly be "head held in whatever position thy desires".

"stroked by soft pedals of amour" should possibly be "stroked by soft petals of amour".

"alluring thy near as if" should possibly be "alluring thou near as if".

You consistently don't use capitalization, periods or commas here, making me think that it was a stylistic decision and not a grammatical mistake.

Those last five lines are simply beautiful.

Your courageous ability to express the poetic contents of your heart is stunning, and I envy your free-flowing wit.

To reiterate what I stated in the last review, I can't wait to read more of your work in the future.

Have a fantastic day!

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello, slongentl.

This soulful poem is a wonderful read.

Your tender sensuality vaults into the reader's heart with the intensity of an eagle diving for salmon.

The only niggle I may have is the possible misspelling of "cata-cornered", I've only ever seen it spelled as "cater-cornered" although, after a small amount of research, I think it can be spelled either way, as well as the surprising spellings of "caddy-cornered", "catty-cornered", and "kitty-cornered".

My favorite line is "Religious baptisms of wild passions splurge from the rippled waters."

Congratulations on crafting a marvelous poem.

I can't wait to read more of your work in the future.

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of The Wall  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, Amy.

The atmosphere of this piece is chillingly creepy.

I love the way that you've kept the mystery alive by not stating where the voice came from.

What you've achieved in so few words is amazing.

I couldn't find any grammatical errors in this piece, and consider it one of my new favourites.

Congratulations on crafting an eerie super short tale.

Please share more of your horror tales as this was marvelous.

Have a great day!

From your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello S.E. Mabson.

I love revenge stories and this tale of a madman's vengeance is awesome.

You've presented Darien's hallucinations in a frightfully realistic way.

His transition from a bullied psychotic to a demented, blood-craving murderer was chilling.

I did find a few little typos though.

Those being:-

In your title, you wrote Pychosis instead of Psychosis.

You've also written feedle position instead of fetal position, Creeppy instead of Creepy, and finally his body laid limo instead of his body laid limp.

Other than those tiny niggles, I had an absolute blast reading this.

From your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor

P.S. Congratulations on the well deserved weekly SCREAMS!! win.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of Good morning!  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Druid.

This piece is wonderfully descriptive in a way which surpasses the usual smut of shorter erotica.

In saying that, you are also not overtly anatomical, which is great as you add a heaping dose of loving emotion into this as well.

Bravo Druid.

My only complaint is that five stars seem too few.

From your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Toressa  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Ron.

I love the way this piece rhymes; the way you switch your rhythm yet maintain the flow is astounding.

As I read this, I could almost hear the beat of the song.

I imagined a great folk singer, a cross between James Taylor and Neil Young.

Although I haven't heard your voice yet, after reading these lyrics, I'd love to know how close my interpretation was to your intention.

I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

Your newest fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello S.E. Mabson.

Congrats on the win & newsletter feature, after reading this I can tell you that they were well deserved.

Many times in horror, authors tend to over-explain everything, you haven't.

You've left out enough to leave us readers intrigued.

I liked the creepy tone of this piece, and the unended mystery.

You never reveal the fate of Mrs. Klondine, does she meet a similar fate to their parents, or does she protect them?

I can't wait to read what you write next.

Have a great day.

From your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of Imponderables  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Zeke.

Wow!

Your vivid observations make me feel as though I am sitting on a bench in the mall, watching these people first-hand as they go about their lives.

The way that you've imbued your inner monologue with this style of majesty is awe-inspiring.

A truly phenomenal piece, and one of my new favourite poems on this sight.

From your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of Never Tell  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Mike.

This piece is amazing.

Your atmosphere and tone is dark and mysteriously enthralling.

This story captivated my interests to the last line

What you've achieved in so few words is incredible.

That last line chilled me to my core.

Congratulations on writing an excellent piece of flash fiction.

From your newest fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of "Tit-for-Tat"  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Alexis.

Congratulations on the Screams!!! win.

After reading this piece, I can tell you that it was well deserved.

Christians once wrote of pride being a sin, although it seems to have overtaken our world now.

This piece reads like

I adore the colourful language that you use here, my favourites being "boob-man" and "jubblies".

This piece reads like an episode of the Twilight Zone, a just desserts revenge style plot told exquisitely.

I did find one thing you may want to consider revising.

You write, "She had the persistent sense that a certain part of her body was getting smaller.", then repeat the same sentiment one sentence later.

Other than that small criticism, I believe that you have written a fantastic little horror story.

From your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Kimbug.

Heartfelt, Romantic and perfectly worded.

Losing someone is always hard, especially losing a partner.

So many bereaved folk go through this same hesitance to move on; most would wish nothing more than to to claim reassurance from beyond.

One last call, one last chance to hear from a departed loved one.

Is there anything more to want?

Simply beautiful.

From your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of My Sidelines  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Amy.

This is an excellent essay.

Finding your way is one of the hardest aspects of human life, to read how you are not only accomplishing this endeavour, but also helping others find theirs is inspirational.

This piece is incredibly well written, I do have two small suggestions though.

You wrote "both is these", where I think you meant "both of these".

I would also suggest changing the line "call myself published author", to "Call myself a published author".

Other than those two little niggles, your essay is flawless.

I have worn a great many hats and worked a great many jobs in my life, everything from a cameraman to a fish-monger, a landscaper to a dressmaker, and while I don't regret any of it, I have only recently noticed that the only time that I was ever happy was after I had come home for the night to cathartically write pages upon pages of nonsense.

Even though I am still a little lost unveiling this newfound clarity, I extend a big thank you for sharing a portion of your writing journey.

I wish you well on your future projects and look forward to checking out your merchandise and reading what you have published on Amazon(both now and in the future).

Sincerely, your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jen.

Short, sweet and utterly terrifying.

The concept that our entire world may exist inside a child's plaything is a scary enough thought, but to then think that our protagonist may have just upended her entire universe by an act as simple as shoveling snow is much scarier.

You have captured the moment perfectly without wasting our time and I applaud you for it.

Stay awesome.

Sincerely, your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Ken.

The way this piece flows intrigues me.

At points it's stilted, in perfect spots, enough to capture the reader's attention and get them to read on the next few flowing lines before another road block.

Like cars bottle-necking on a highway, ogling at a family on the roadside, the father kicking his tires in frustration, each driver speculating as to the why before driving on and experiencing something similar down the road.

The way that you have humanised the alien in the artwork to a place where the reader can more easily relate is fascinating.

That cascading end to the third and fifth paragraph really expose our protagonist's unending agony.

You would have made Giger proud.

Congratulations on writing a great piece.

From your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor

P.S. How did you do that nifty rollover trick that defines "stygian"?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Norbanus.

The natural ease with which your rhymes flow is stupendous.

Your line, "with monsters and men still uncombined" really drives at the dual nature of humanity.

To me, you have written of one of the greatest follies of man; the nightmare that encapsulates our cyclic, never-ending desire to chase our dreams.

That is truly the greatest horror there is.

Darkness and despair surround and fill us all at times, don't they?

Simply remarkable, perfectly written and deeply terrifying.

From your fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review of Shell  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello S.E. Mabson.

This slightly confronting piece feels like a dredged up story once lived, but soon forgotten by time.

I have a few minor suggestions which you may consider, those being:

Where you've written "Everyday his mind-" should become "Every day his mind-"; "Everyday" is defined as "typical" or "ordinary", whereas "every day" means "each day".

The line "The depths of the void blackness in his eyes appeared to be endless." seems a little confusing.

My last little niggle is your use of the cliche phrase "hustle and bustle".

The band-aid is removed, now onto the good stuff.

I like the gritty raw, intensity of this piece; you never once shy away from the emotional impact of the husband's violent acts against the protagonist.

Your unique phrasing such as "green wonders" is fantastic and should be utilised more often.

What you've achieved here in so few words is simply marvelous.

Keep it up.

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Alexis.

I like this.

The way that you were able to get the point of the story across without going into extraneous detail and ruining the mystery is wonderful.

One small typo that I have found is that you wrote "junk -silver" where it should be "junk-silver".

This aside, well done on writing a fantastic piece of flash fiction.

Keep it up.

I'm excited to read more from you in the future.

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of Black Widow  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello ElizJohn.

This is an interesting poem with a nice, steady flow.

You've really put us inside the mind of a black widow and I thank you for such a fresh, if dark insight.

A thought-provokingly wonderful piece.

I look forward to reading more of your work.

From your newest fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review of A Passing Tramp  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello DJGrifWrites.

This short tale is unusually mundane, in the best possible way.

I have found two issues, these being:

Instead of "2.5 children", I believe you should write "two-and-a-half children".

The line "work the fine people", should be either "work that the fine people", or "work, the fine people".

These niggles aside however, I found this piece oddly entrancing.

Wilson's Grove has a nice ring to it that flows unbelievably well and sounds like a quaint, normal little town that could exist anywhere.

The terrifying reality that you have presented here is brutal and unflinching in its delivery.

Keep it up.

I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Sindbad

This piece is wonderfully dreamlike.

My favourite line here is "Some didn't care and wanted to go suck on rainbows", I picture psychic vampires feasting on joy, depriving us of all pleasure and happiness.

The way that you can make the user visualise exactly what is on the page is awe-inspiring.

I did find a small typo however, "ceasless" should be "ceaseless".

This small niggle aside, I thoroughly enjoyed this remarkably entertaining piece and can't wait to read more of your work in the future.

From your newest fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review of The Forever Wife  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Seuzz.

I can completely understand how this piece won the Weird Tales contest, it is entertaining in the most engrossingly, diabolical way.

Congratulations.

From your newest fan and friendo,
Laurie Razor

PS For some reason I am reminded of that Sartre quote that we all learn in high school, "Hell is other people", which I guess is kind of true for poor Dr. Richter.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of Stuck  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Whisker.

You open strong, then keep us hooked right up until the last line.

I really believe that you should finish this piece as it is both vastly intriguing and well written.

Once fleshed out more as to who Carla is, why she is in that apartment and why she is so nervous around this police officer, this story could be something special.

Just this reader's humble opinion.

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of Prison of Defeat  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Jillian

Your poem reminds me of a wonderful song that I have never heard.

I feel that this could use some grammatical marks at the end of your lines.

That small niggle aside however, I feel that you have captured the blues that you felt at not being able to succeed and expressed them near perfectly here.

Feel good in knowing that you have succeeded in writing a marvellous piece.

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor
24
24
Review of Lonely  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Alice.

Welcome to WDC.

This piece is so dark and relatable, I love it.

You really projected your inner isolation and your alienation from your peers well.

If I could give you one grammatical suggestion, it would be to put a semi-colon instead of a comma between "cannot decide" and "will I be".

This small niggle aside however, this is a wonderful first piece in your portfolio.

Keep writing.

From your newest friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review of The Eyes of Death  
Review by Laurie Razor
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello SugarCube.

Congratulations on writing a fantastic horror short.

You story was so remarkably original that it almost felt spine chillingly familiar.

To achieve the atmosphere that you have in under five-hundred words is phenomenal.

I can not wait to read more of your work as this piece was brilliant.

From your newest fan and friend-o,
Laurie Razor


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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