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514 Public Reviews Given
519 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I always try to be encouraging. I will be honest, though, with kindness. I will try to present examples of what worked, and what didn't work, and help you in any way I can. I graduated from the Dynamic Reviewing class. I am an Alumni in The Art of Criticism Project.
I'm good at...
Poetry, short fiction, and articles
Favorite Genres
Romance, Christian Romance, light mystery or thrillers, psychology, Christian non-fiction
Least Favorite Genres
horror, war, gay/lesbian, erotica, adult, intense mystery/thrillers
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, books, devotional type items
Least Favorite Item Types
Long books
I will not review...
anything that is GC or higher, or anything containing the F-bomb or GD. Mild cursing is okay.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 3 4 5 -6- 7 ... Next
126
126
Review of Aches & Pains  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello! *Smile*
It's Marci Missing Everyone Author Icon. I am reviewing your piece because I saw it in The HUB. Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - This is a poem that I can relate to. The title drew me in because I face those aches and pains and depression.

*Flowerv* Tone & Mood - Although the mood is the same all the way through, and is established just in reading the title. I felt that this stanza had the most impact with explaining aches and pains.

An ache is a feeling that won’t go away.
An ache can last for many a day.
A pain is acute and hurts so bad.
Left untreated, it can drive you mad.

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - You say this is a free verse, but really it is a quatrain. Just because you don't count syllables doesn't mean anything. Your rhyming pattern was followed through well. Nothing felt as though it was forced to conform. It had nice flow and I like the how it's structure looked on the page. The image was a nice touch.

*Flowerw* Emotional Impact - This poem tugged at my heart just know that there are others out there with the same feelings both physical and emotional as I have. This poem greatly saddened me, but that shows the depth of the writing here.

*Flowert* My favorite line/stanza...

World bankers – obsessed with global recession.
I doubt if they know about real depression.

I can't find any fault with this poem. I rarely give 5 stars, but I just have to on this one. Live, love, and write!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon
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#1937709 by Dave Author IconMail Icon


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127
127
Review of Simply Rain  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone Author Icon.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket that Elle Author Icon bought for you at "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. as part of your "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. package.
Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - I really enjoy poetry about rain and storms, and yours is no exception.

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - The pattern was abcb in small quatrains. I was impressed that instead of following a syllable count, you followed a word count. I enjoyed this for a change.

*Flowerb* Grammar/Punctuation - I'm glad to see you used punctuation. It really does aid in the overall flow of a poem.

*Flowert* Poetic Devices noticed and used effectively - In the third stanza, first line and third line, I enjoyed the use of consonance. The repetition of "ing" lent a nice flow to that stanza.

*Flowerr* My favorite stanza is...

First drop,
First tear,
Birds zoom,
Storm here.

The reason I like it is because there is not only 2 words in each line, but only syllables as well. Also, the first word in the first three lines share the use of assonance or internal rhyme of "ir".

Great poem! I had a hard time choosing between this and one other, so I might just go ahead and do it as well!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon
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128
128
Review of Lornda, My Friend  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone Author Icon.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket that Elle Author Icon bought for you at "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. as part of your "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. package. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - What a sweet sentiment for a friend!

*Flowerv* Tone & Mood - Lighthearted and precious

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - Interesting acrostic. I would say that it should be left aligned normally, but since you added the acrostic at the end also, it's kind of cool this way!

*Flowerw* Emotional Impact - Made me hope that one day I have a friend on WDC just like this.

I loved diving into your port. I'm sure I will visit it again sometime soon for some additional fun and inspiration.

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon
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129
129
Review of Heavenly Summer  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone Author Icon. I am reviewing your piece because you are the member of the week at "WDC Addicts Anonymous" Open in new Window.. Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - When I ventured over to your port, I read through the titles, and this quickly drew me in. I am so glad it did!

*Flowerv* Tone & Mood - A feeling of enjoying the summer.

*Flowery* Structure - Since this is a free form poem, I have no comment on form. However, I would like to talk about flow and structure. One of the first things that someone will notice about a poem is how it looks on the page. At WDC, we have so much available to us in order to make that more appealing. I would love to see this centered with maybe some breaks in the text. You could even add some emoticons if you wanted.

*Flowerb* Grammar/Punctuation - Since you are not using complete sentences, you should probably not use periods. I would just leave off any punctuation with this type of poem. Also, the following line does not need the word "be".

Books to be read

*Flowert* My favorite lines are...

Shades of green.
Turquoise skies.

I really love the way you just listed all the great things of summer. I actually really enjoyed the read!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon
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#1937709 by Dave Author IconMail Icon


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130
130
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello!
This is Marci and I'm excited to review this for you.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket that Elle Author Icon bought for you at "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. as part of your "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. package.

I think that you have chosen such beautiful and cute pictures to relay your messages. The encouraging note on each one is perfectly matched to the picture! My favorite cNotes are:

Perfect Setting
Strength in Details
Creativity

Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon

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131
131
Review of THE ART OF ART  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone Author Icon. I am reviewing your piece because posted a request in the Review Forum. In the future, just post in our regular forum. *Delight* You'll get more people to see it, and the Review Forum is to keep track of packages that people have purchased for us to do reviews. Now, anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - I like the idea and concept of the poem. Our life as a canvas, and our experiences are the paintbrush.
*Flowerv* Tone & Mood - The mood is set well in the second stanza with second stanza. I like the use of the line...

"The canvas, like magic, holds the world"

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - I see that the rhyme pattern is supposed to be aba, bcb, cdc, etc... It followed this form off and on, so I became a little confused as to whether you were changing or couldn't find a rhyme to fit your form. This is tricky, and sometimes we need to chose different words in order to create a good rhyme. Ex:

Group of words world, annulled, and swirled... annulled does not fit the rhyme.
Group of words flaw and explore do not rhyme.

*Flowerb* Grammar/Punctuation - there are a couple of places where the grammar is slightly off. Stanza 2 line 6, and stanza 4 line 1.

Finally, you need to go back and look at the punctuation. There are comma's needed in several places. A period may be needed more often than at the end of every stanza. If you need more help with that, please don't hesitate to email me and talk about this further. *Smile*

The subject matter is awesome, and I think you have the beginning of a great poem here. Work on it a little bit, and email me back.

My favorite line:

Like rainbows in dance, colours swirled.

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon
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132
132
Review of The nightmare  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone Author Icon. I am reviewing your piece because you are on The Banks of the "Talent Pond's Estuary" Open in new Window.. Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - This is an awesome poem!

*Flowerv* Tone & Mood are dark as is well established in the first stanza.

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow were all amazing. I noticed an abab rhyme pattern, and felt no stumbles as I read it out loud.

*Flowerw* Emotional Impact - I could feel the fear of the nightmare as well as the awakening.

*Flowerb* Grammar/Punctuation - The only reason that I didn't give this poem a perfect rating has to do with the use of punctuation. We all have our personal opinions about the use of punctuation in poetry. As an artist, we have a right to make that decision. However, I feel that punctuation is just as important in poetry as in any other piece of writing, and I feel it only adds to the depth and the meaning as we read the poem aloud. The main thing, though, is that you used comma's in a few places, and that was all. If you are going to use punctuation at all, you should follow through and use it all the way through, or else you shouldn't use it at all. Okay, I'm coming off my soapbox now. *Blush*

*Flowert* My favorite line...

it wasn't my friend's chilling breath
But a nightmare in his stead.

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon
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133
133
Review of CASCADE  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! *Smile*
I am reviewing your piece because I saw it in the Poetic Journey's entries. Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - Awesome imagery!
*Flowerv* Tone & Mood - You reflected well what a poet goes through when writing poetry.
*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - Beautiful flow, and you followed the form perfectly!
*Flowert* Favorite line "into a healing pool of reflection"

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon
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134
134
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello!
This is Marci. I ran across this fun Water Balloon Fight in the Activity pages. I have to say that is is probably the most fun I've had with an activity. What an awesome idea!!! My friends and I have been throwing water balloons back and forth already this morning and afternoon. The funds are being donated to a wonderful group as well. I would love to see other activities of similar fun.

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon
135
135
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone Author Icon. I am reviewing your piece because I saw that you won the Poetic Journeys contest. Congratulations, by the way!!! Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - This was a beautifully written poem on the passing of the seasons. Your repeating line was awesome, and made for a great title as well.

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - The flow was lovely, and there were no problems with the rhyme scheme. My favorite line...

"In stillness then does the earth lie"

*Flowerw* Emotional Impact - The poem made me a little sad that the seasons pass so quickly. It seems that the older I get, the quicker they go. I also felt the beauty and power of each season.

*Flowerb* Grammar/Punctuation - This was used correctly, and thus lent extra meaning to the poem.

Keep writing poetry, because you are very good at it!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon
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136
136
Review of The Date  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello,
I saw you asking for a review on the Bulletin page, and I was curious, so I hopped on over to your port. My name is Marci, by the way. I love romance, so this was quite up my ally. As for the review, anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use what helps, and throw the rest out with the wind.

*Flowerp* Draw - I am a poet, so I was definitely drawn in by the first paragraph. Great hook!

*Flowerv* Detail - Enough detail was given throughout to make the reader feel like they were spying on the two of you. However it wasn't so much that it stalled the story. Great job! I did stumble over one line. I like the idea of what it says, but it was rather awkward to read for some reason.

"His hand felt right; just enough roughness to suggest he worked outdoors a lot, but still took time for finesse."

*Flowery* Transitions - No problems with the story moving along. You did a great job with this. Favorite transition...

"The poet switched gears again. This time she was sensual. The audience simmered in appreciation. Was it my mind, or did he just squeeze my hand tighter?"

*Flowerb* Characters - For a short story, I really got a sense of both characters. Really good development.

*Flowerw* I love that the ending came full circle. First, she promised herself to by ladylike, and when he kissed her, she through that out the window.

Overall, I rate this story a 4.5 which is awesome. It is rare for me to give fives. The only mild issue that I see is that at times the flow is slightly choppy. Go back and re-read some of your sentences to see if some may be too wordy. Don't take out the essence of what you are describing though.

PS... By the end, I was hoping for a date with Richard and I'm married to an awesome man... hehehe.

Happy Writing!
Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon


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137
137
Review of My Psalm  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Ruwth,
Of course, you know who I am *Smile*, and I'm glad you sent me the link to this poem. I would like to give you a review, and associate it with The Poet's Place, the newest group on WDC for all things poetry. As with any of my reviews, you may use what is helpful and send the rest out to the poetry pixies. *Burstv*

Your poem, which is your own psalm, is just beautiful and full of praise. Anyone who loves the Lord will be touched by this.

When spoken aloud, the poem is melodic, and almost lyrical in spots.

The poem has deep meaning because of who God is and who we are.

Since this is a free form style poem, there is no pattern or specific rhythm, there is no forced syllable count, nor are there any common cliches.

My favorite part is:

In the darkest of my nights,
you were the brightest light.

Structure: I thought the structure was lovely in places, and then at other times the lines became too long. For poetry, I prefer the lines be shorter. There seems to be a better flow that way, especially when there are other short lines.

Punctuation: There seemed to be similar issues with the punctuation. Where the lines were longer "..." were used. It would be more effective to use a comma, which is a soft stop or pause, than to use the dots.

I believe that these ideas would take this poem from great to awesome!!! If you would like further guidance, please feel free to contact me, and I will be glad to help!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon

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138
138
Review of Into The Woodland  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,
I see you've been doing some great reviewing for our group, so I wanted to come by and review something of yours. I am also taking the Dynamic Reviewing Class, and this week we have to review poetry, my favorite! I am going to review your poem as a part of my assignment. Anything that helps you is awesome, and you can use it. Anything that is against your artistic vision, just blow into the wind to disappear. All comments are just my humble opinion. *Smile*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression: There is some beautiful imagery used in this poem. After reading through it a few times, there were a few lines that really touched me. My favorite line in the poem is..

"Like chimes that dance and blends with the wind,"

*Flowerb* Tone & Mood: Tone and mood are both effectively used in the poem. The words and images make you feel carefree on this spring evening. The words pull me into this enchanted meadow.

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow: This is a free form poem with some rhyming parts. The flow is nice, especially when read aloud. The structure is nice as it sits on the page. Very good job.

*Flowert* Emotional Impact: The poem made me feel so lighthearted. It almost took me to a time in my childhood.

*Flowerw* Grammar/Punctuation: While the poem is lovely, I would like to point out that there are a few places that may need just slight tweaks. I will give you one example, and if you would like more in depth help with that, please don't hesitate to contact me. *Thumbsup*

"beneath the leaves of every trees"

One final suggestion... The last stanza again, is beautiful. I like the last line, but there is a slight awkwardness to it. I think another slight tweak would really blend it with the passage a little better.

Those flies softly plunge me, in a gem with silk,
and I saw a beautiful fairy, and that gave me a wish.

I give this poem a rating of 4, which is great! Keep up the good work with the poetry and writing!!!

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139
139
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello,
I'm Marci, and I'm a member of The Poet's Place, and love to review poetry, so that has drawn me to your piece.

Title: Once Upon An October Night
I am commenting on this because I really love this title. We so often forget that this is an important part of the piece that we are writing.

I enjoyed this tale very much. Overall, the flow was wonderful, with the exception of just a couple places. I don't mind varying syllable lengths per line, but it does hinder the flow when one is significantly longer or shorter than the previous line. Example:

Silver tresses and one limp gait
Found a romantic spot at the magic hour of late.

Since I really love the second line, I wouldn't change it, but maybe you could make the previous line just a little longer.

Suggestion: Silvery flowing tresses and a single limp gait.

These put the syllable counts the same. This still holds the same meaning. I see this in a couple other places, but you get the picture.

The imagery is beautiful.
The poem is interesting.
There are no punctuation issues.

I can see why this one a ribbon in the Traditional Poetry Contest!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon

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140
140
Review of Christmas Tree  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I'm Marci and I am from The Poet's Place. This is one of the five reviews from "The Poet's Place " Open in new Window., the package LostGhost: Seeking & Learning Author Icon bought for you at "~ The Poet's Place Cafe~" Open in new Window..

Title: Christmas Tree
The title is simple, but it makes me think about Christmas instead. I was wondering if a title like "January Christmas Tree" would explain better? Just a thought.

Before I finish this review, I have to say I am a big fan of all your poetry. I am humbled to be able to offer a review.

Now, I am not huge on free form poetry. I am too OCD. However, you have stayed to a nice structure, and not rambled all over the place. It's very tight and nice. I really enjoyed the read. I have no specific thoughts on different word choices, etc.

I do have one thought on the structure of the poem. I see that you have come close to doing this already, but it would look really cool in the form of a Christmas tree.

So please keep writing and sharing your poetry.
Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon


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141
141
Review of Blinded Art  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,
I'm doing your review as a member of "The Poet's Place " Open in new Window.. I saw this piece in the review requests. Anything I suggest is just an educated opinion. However, we are all artists, and use what you can and throw the rest! *Bigsmile*

Personal Impression - An interesting look at the world with different colors. It's kind of fun to ponder.
Tone & Mood - To me, most of the poem was playfully considering what things would look like in different colors, but the last 2 lines change the tone completely into some more serious thought.
Rhyme, Form & Flow - This is a quatrain with an abab rhyme scheme. It works well, and has a nice flow when read out loud.
Grammar/Punctuation - I always like when punctuation is used, but it should always be used correctly. You often use a comma when a period is needed. I would just go back and double check the sentence structures. Also, it is not necessary to capitalize the first word in every line. In fact, it is generally encouraged that you do not capitalize if it doesn't start a sentence.

Overall - the only thing technically wrong was the punctuation issue. From an artist standpoint, the poem is playful and thoughtful at the same time, but I'm not sure about the line "the trees all look dead." It just doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the theme.

Rating - I rate on technical and artistic value. For technical I give a 4.5 and for artistic I give a 4.0... so for now I rate the poem with a 4.0.

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your piece. Keep writing and continue working on your imagery. It will come more and more naturally as you write!

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#1937709 by Dave Author IconMail Icon


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142
142
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello there!
I'm Marci. I found your poem in the Poetic Journey's contest. That is one of my favorite new contests. I love learning new forms of poetry. Now, on to the review...

1. The poem is very interesting. It definitely has a surprise twist in the middle.
2. Poem is very melodic to read and has nice flow throughout.
3. This poem speaks to the ones that clear out the trees without thinking about the impact. You have used the tone and mood effectively.
4. The message is clear until the last couple lines. I'll point out more in the line by line.
5. The poem is beautiful, but also contains a message. It definitely shows emotion and what you feel about the situation.
6. Punctuation in poetry is a personal issue, however, I find that it enhances the words and gives more depth to the meaning. If you use a little punctuation, you should finish with it. It's like the glossy coat of nail polish after all the colorful layers have been added. Or it's like the flower on top of a beautiful cake. You understand my meaning.

Love the phrase: Under the Crimson Moon

I'm not doing the whole poem. I just want to give you some ideas.

Under the crimson moon,
leaves rise up like waves on the sea,
and the haunting cry of the loon
echoes through ev'ry bush and tree.

But despite these men's wicked ways,
their lives are short and will end soon.
And evermore the leaf frond sways
under the crimson moon.

I have to be honest that I didn't know what the word "frond" meant, so I looked it up. It refers to a large leaf or a fern, which has nothing to do with trees. So, I might just suggest a little rewording there.

Anything I recommend is purely my opinion. Take what you think will help, and throw out the rest. Because of the things I have pointed out, I give this a 3.5 right now. If you do any editing, let me know and I will re-rate. Keep writing because you have a beautiful way with words that just shine through!!!

Sincerely,
Marci

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Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey again!
I doing a review for you as part of a welcome to the "Let's help each other grow- Closed" Open in new Window..

I am only going to review the prologue. I don't know your membership level, but if it's upgraded, you can do a book and add each chapter as you write it.

The introduction captured my attention even before I got to the prologue, but the prologue drew me in as well.

I like the introduction of the characters here. I like the description of where you are and what you are doing.

Be careful about tense. You are shifting back and forth between past and present. Since all of this is taking place at the same time, you need to make sure you consistently use it throughout.

You probably didn't need to write all that description of the dad if you weren't going to write it about anyone else in the prologue. If it were me, I would put a little more character detail with each one.

You don't need the phrase "but carrying on" in the last paragraph. It hinders the flow of the story.

In the last paragraph, give a little more detail about what they were doing. I'm pretty tech savvy, and it made no sense to me.

Over all, I like what you have begun here. Keep writing and practicing!

Sincerely,
Marci


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Review of My Garden  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Good evening!
Marci here, and I saw your entry in the new Poetic Journeys contest. For your first time with form poetry, I'd say you did a really good job.

My first impression is that it is very poetic with words that describe a flower garden beautifully. My favorite line is "Nature’s beloved palette."

Two lines didn't make as much sense when thinking about the topic: "Like morn dew" and "Old, refined". One suggestion for the first is to change to "with morn dew," Would your garden look like morning dew or would morning dew be in the garden? Then, I don't understand how old and refined describe a garden, but it's possible that I'm missing something there.

Your punctuation seems good.

When I read the poem out loud, nothing seemed forced or uncomfortable as far as flow. Of course, whenever I give a review, it's just an opinion. Poetry is subjective, and therefore, quite personal to each reader and writer. If you have any further questions about my comments, don't hesitate to contact me. I gave this poem a 4 star rating for the reasons stated above.

I would encourage you to continue to play around with form poetry. It can stretch you past your comfort zone as I well know. I love learning new forms of poetry, and seeing where that leads. Even with the comments above, I still think it's a beautiful poem!

*Flowerb* Have a great night *Flowerb*

Marci ~ Mom is Writing!


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Review of Gold Mining  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was a beautiful story of the legacy that your mother left to you. My mother also taught me by example on many occasions, and though I'm 40 years old, she still does.

While I was reading this, I noticed a little typo. I highlighted it below. I believe the word should be "my".

As I look back at the many things mu mother taught me, I find she did, indeed, strike it rich.

I really enjoyed the simile of comparing your mother to a gold miner and that the treasure she left for you was her nuggets of wisdom. Very inspiring!

Sincerely,
Marci


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Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review of "The Beauty of Life." I think that this is a lovely poem, and I feel blessed to be able to read it.

Subject: The fleeting time of life

Imagery: It started with a a flower fading from life and then was compared to life. I thought the imagery was quite beautiful.

Pattern: The rhyming pattern was abcb in each verse with no attention to syllable count.

Flow: The poem had a very nice rhythm until the third verse. I will offer some suggestions for tightening the flow when I do the line by line.

Punctuation: Punctuation in poetry is always a personal preference, but I believe it lends to both the flow and meaning. Although you did use some punctuation, I have a few suggestion where that is concerned.

Line by Line:

I witnessed the death of a flower(comma)
And the tragedy made me weep.
Here for a day, and then gone away,
It's life was so bitter sweet.

The vitality of youth is so fleeting(comma)
And all too soon withers and fades(period),
Leaving us wistful and jaded,
And the hair on our heads turning grey.

So cherish the beauty of life,
Every moment that the Lord lets you stay.
'Cause we have but one day in the sunshine
Before the night comes and takes it away.

Overall, I really love this poem, and I could see this being used at a funeral, a special birthday or anniversary. Thank you for sharing these thoughts. *Smile*

Sincerely,
Marci
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Review of God  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I really enjoyed your poem. I love trying different kinds of poetry as well. I'm actually taking a class on WDC at New Horizons Academy on poetry so that I could learn even more about it. Anyway, on to your review.

Subject: God

Type/Pattern: Nonet - Nine lines starting with nine syllables on the first line and subtracting one syllable each line. I counted, and they are all correct.

Flow: Flow is very nice

Punctuation: Punctuation in poetry is a personal preference. However, I really believe it adds meaning and creates better flow. I've highlighted places to add comma's. This poem doesn't need periods because of it's type.

General observations: I noticed one misspelled word. See line by line. Sometimes filler words were used. Again, see line by line.

Line by Line:

God

Father in Heaven, holy art Thou
Creator, distroyer destroyer of life
This line is an oxymoron which is fine, but just be aware of it.
God of mercy, and of grace
Loving, caring, blessing
Keeper of the law
Is all knowing
'Is' feels like a filler word here when you having really repeated that as a pattern any other place. I plugged 'knowing' and 'all knowing' into the thesaurus and came up with a couple suggestions: 'omnipotent,' 'all - perceptive.'
All giving
All wise
Truth

Amen!!!

This poem really exhorts our Lord! I hope this review has been helpful.
Sincerely,
Marci
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Review of Legos  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
It's hard to give my normal review for such a short kind of poem, but I will try.

Subject: Lego's - Very cute subject matter. My kids, my brother, and his kids all love them!

Pattern: Cinquain - see below
subject - 2 syllables
4 syllables
6 syllables
8 syllables
2 syllables

Flow: your poem had wonderful flow and truly spoke about what lego's are.

Thank you for something quick and cute!


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Review of "Lamp Post"  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Subject: I thought that a poem about a lamp post was very interesting. Although the title states the subject, it is not clear in the poem what the subject is. I just get that it is some kind of light. In fact, without the title, I would think it was a flashlight.

Imagery: Very nice!

Pattern: The pattern starts out as aabbcc then changes to d ff d. That is a little disconcerting and throws me off a bit. I'll make suggestions in the line by line.

Flow: The flow is okay, but a few small changes would make it even more powerful. Again, see line by line review.

Punctuation: Punctuation in poetry is a personal thing. It is not a requirement, but does give the piece a better flow and more control. You have used punctuation well in the verses.

Rhythm: I'm kind of big on the lines having the same amount of syllables as the one it rhymes with. It's a thing with me, but I feel it gives you more control over the power of the piece. I'm going to offer some suggestions in these verses, but they are just my opinion. Take what you like, and throw the rest out. *Smile*

A spark of light that I take with me,
An illumination of comfort is all I see.
Illumination of comfort I see

I can drive it into the ground,
And when lit, I can be found.
Change 'into' to 'in'

A sign of warning,
Or a feel of mourning.
Or feel of mourning.

Any feeling can occur when you look into its light…
Move this line down to just before the last line. It won't change it's meaning, and it will flow better.

It can be a sign of direction,
Or a spot of meditation…
A sign of direction
Or spot of meditation

Any feeling can occur when you look into its light…
A fixation of power and comfort… it's a beautiful sight.

I hope this review is helpful! *Flowerp*
Marci
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall, I think this is an awesome poem.

Imagery: I can almost see the cactus as a being with feelings and a soul. The imagery is great.

Punctuation: Comma's are used to separate thoughts, but periods are not used to end thoughts. Punctuation is a personal option in poetry, but my rule of thumb is that if you are going to use it, then use it right all the way through. So I would recommend periods.

Pattern: The pattern is consistent throughout the entire poem.

Flow: The poem has good flow, and makes sense from beginning to end.

I'm not going to do a line by line on this one because there is nothing to critique. Great job on this. I hope you'll soon have more items to add to your portfolio.

Sincerely,
Marci

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