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514 Public Reviews Given
519 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I always try to be encouraging. I will be honest, though, with kindness. I will try to present examples of what worked, and what didn't work, and help you in any way I can. I graduated from the Dynamic Reviewing class. I am an Alumni in The Art of Criticism Project.
I'm good at...
Poetry, short fiction, and articles
Favorite Genres
Romance, Christian Romance, light mystery or thrillers, psychology, Christian non-fiction
Least Favorite Genres
horror, war, gay/lesbian, erotica, adult, intense mystery/thrillers
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, books, devotional type items
Least Favorite Item Types
Long books
I will not review...
anything that is GC or higher, or anything containing the F-bomb or GD. Mild cursing is okay.
Public Reviews
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126
126
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone . I am reviewing your piece because I am working on the 6 hour challenge set forth by StoryMistress. Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - Cinquains are among my favorite forms of poetry. I was immediately drawn to your piece, especially when I opened it and saw the picture.

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - you follow the form perfectly with your syllable counts. As far as how this looks on the page, personally I would make the picture smaller since the poem is so small. The picture overwhelms the poem and becomes the focal point instead of just enhancing the writing.

*Flowerw* Suggestions - The poem has a nice flow, but there are a couple of things that I would like to point out. When writing a small poem such as this, it's nice when there is more focus. Choosing your words carefully becomes much more important. Instead of telling me everything about the birdies, focus in on smaller details.

Chirping, munching - I was really thrown off by the sweet sound of chirping, then the next word was munching... hmmm. I don't know what I would put here, but in my mind it goes straight to the sound of "crunch crunch".

Hanging precarious - Now in my mind these birds are singing, crunching, and hanging upside down with one foot.

Living life - These to words together are kind of redundant, and it really stands out in a small poem like this. You could replace the word "life" with "free" or any number of other words to lend to the impact of the poem.

Content - In a Cinquain, this last word should be another form of the first word. So, maybe it could a type of bird like "Robin" or, you could change it around with the word "birdies" and put it at the top.

If you decide to play around with the form any more, let me know. I'd be glad to help in anyway I can. I have a bunch of little poems like this in my port. Keep writing, and until next time... Live, laugh, and write!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone
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#1937709 by Dave


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127
127
Review of Joey Versus Santa  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello! *Smile*
It'sMarci Missing Everyone again. I am reviewing your piece because you are member of the week for "WDC Addicts Anonymous"  and I am doing the 6 hour WdC challenge. Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to use another day.

*Flowerr* Hook - Of course you know how important it is to have a good hook. It didn't take me too long to really get into the story. This line really got my attention, and I couldn't look away after reading it.

Or when he killed that dumb little girl Jenny down the block and then dragged her lifeless body down to the river because she'd called him a 'Butt Head'?

*Flowerr* Details - too few/too much - I didn't feel at all bogged down by the details. I liked that you used other descriptions for Santa instead of just saying his name all the time. For example:

- the red suited guy
- that jolly old fellow

*Flowerr* Tone & Mood - You have this listed as a comedy, and I did laugh a couple of times. However, I think that the mood of this piece was more sinister than anything. Have mercy!

*Flowerr* Characters - My mind is still swimming trying to figure out if Joey was a kid or if he was an elf. I thought you did an awesome job portraying this character.

*Flowerr* Plot Development - The twist at the end is something I never saw coming. Wow! Great plot development on this. And the transitions were flawless.

*Flowerr* Grammar/Punctuation - No issues that stood out to me.

I gave this 5 stars, which is rare. This is definitely not your usual Christmas Story!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone
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#1937709 by Dave


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128
128
Review of Awakening  
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone . I am reviewing your piece because I reviewed it earlier, and you did an edit. Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - This really speaks to me about coming out of depression now. The title is much more appropriate and the description pulls you right into the poem.

*Flowerv* Tone & Mood - I can feel the struggle that you are talking about and it is evidenced by...

In the midst of the darkening gloom,
I long for the cold, biting wind of a snowy day

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - A free form one stanza poem with no rhyming pattern. The structure and flow are impeccable!

*Flowerw* Emotional Impact - My own struggle with depression feels like this, and I identify with the feelings here strongly. Since I only go out a couple times a week, I really wish I could be outdoors for any kind of weather!

*Flowert* Favorite line...

as I drink in the chilly air and, for a moment, feel alive

You did an amazing job on this rewrite, and I had to give you five stars!!! Live, laugh, and write!!!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone


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#1937709 by Dave


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129
129
Review of Awakening  
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone . I am reviewing your piece because it came up in the Random Reviews. Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - When I saw the title, I thought the poem was about something completely different. I do like the description of coming out of depression though. The title should really say something more about the actual poem. Just a thought... Maybe "An Awakening"... Same thought, but more revealing.

*Flowerv* Tone & Mood - It is definitely an awakening. I've lived in this frigid weather, and I like that you compare it to coming out of depression. You are effectively describing how the cold air makes you feel.

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - It is a free form poem, but it has very nice structure and flow!

*Flowerw* Emotional Impact - Since I deal constantly with depression, I really long for this wake-up. So for me, it is wistful.

*Flowerb* Grammar/Punctuation - No problems.

*Flowert* Favorite line...

I breathe in the frigid air and know I’m alive

Overall, I really enjoyed the poem. Until next time... Live, laugh, and write!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone


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#1937709 by Dave


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130
130
Review of King Dog  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone .
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket that Elle - on hiatus bought for you at "Invalid Item"  as part of your "Invalid Item"  package
Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - Very cute limerick about a fun little dog.
*Flowerv* Tone & Mood - Light and fun and was set effectively with this line...

My dog really thinks he's a king

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - This is a one verse limerick, which is unusual, but fun. You follow the format very well.

*Flowerb* Grammar/Punctuation - You don't use an punctuation, which is the choice of the artist. However, keep in mind that punctuation can add a lot to a poem by way of pausing or not, hard stops or soft. You create your flow by the punctuation that you choose. I do have a note about grammar. In the second line, I would change the first two words around to say. "Now he"

*Flowert* My favorite line...

"Activities now in full swing"

I have enjoyed looking through your port. Until next time... Live, Love, and Write!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone
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#1937709 by Dave


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131
131
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone . I am reviewing your piece because it came up under Random Reviews. Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - I think that this was an honest look at a relationship.

*Flowerv* Tone & Mood - The tone is serious, and mood is that of curiousity.

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - The fact that this was a free verse poem would normally throw me off my game. However, your structure is put together very nice, and the stanza's are quite cohesive. When you repeat a line all the way through like...

"I don't understand what you mean..."

it really lends to the flow.

*Flowerw* Emotional Impact - I've been in your shoes, and it is no fun. I could really identify with what you were going through.

*Flowerb* Grammar/Punctuation - The one thing that can always enhance poetry is the use of punctuation. I used to be on the opposite side of this argument, but after reading about and playing with it, punctuation can lend so much to the flow, especially when reading out loud. You might consider that in the future.

*Flowert* Poetic Devices noticed and used effectively - even though this was free verse, you also incorporated some rhyme. It stood out that much more because of it's scarcity. Therefore, I enjoyed those spots even more. My favorite rhyme was...

Say that I am the coolest you know
And two seconds later say I'm a freak show

It had a great impact and showed the turning point in the relationship.

Live, laugh, and write!!! *Smile*

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone
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#1937709 by Dave


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132
132
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone . I am reviewing your piece because it came up when I hit "Random Review". Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - Such a sweet poem to be written to your daughter for her wedding day. She is very blessed.

*Flowerv* Tone & Mood - The mood was sober yet happy remembrance. The tone of the poem was serious. This was expressed in the first line...

I remember the day you were born.

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - You did a great job with your rhymes, and yet sometimes they seemed forced. The last line of the poem really feels like it doesn't belong with the rest of it. Something that would help the flow of the poem is to work on getting your syllable counts more even throughout the lines. In this case, a 9 or 10 syllable count per line should work well.

*Flowerw* Emotional Impact - This poem made me remember my own wedding day when my Dad gave me away. It also saddens me to think about how fast time goes by. My own daughter will turn 8 in Sept. and I dread it.

*Flowerb* Grammar/Punctuation - I noticed that you put a period at the end of every line and that makes for hard stops. Might I suggest using some other connections to the sentences. For ex...

I remember the day you were born;
A lovely baby girl that God adorned.

I changed the period at the end of the first line into a semi-colon. It really adds more meaning to the first line because the two lines are connected this way. It also greatly helps the flow.

*Flowert* My favorite lines/stanza...

I remember the day you were born.
A lovely baby girl that God adorned.
I was blessed with a baby to idolize.
A girl who was the apple of my eye.

What a blessing to receive such a gift from a father. Laugh, love, live, and write!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone
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#1937709 by Dave


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133
133
Review of Simply Rain  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone .
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket that Elle - on hiatus bought for you at "Invalid Item"  as part of your "Invalid Item"  package.
Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - I really enjoy poetry about rain and storms, and yours is no exception.

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - The pattern was abcb in small quatrains. I was impressed that instead of following a syllable count, you followed a word count. I enjoyed this for a change.

*Flowerb* Grammar/Punctuation - I'm glad to see you used punctuation. It really does aid in the overall flow of a poem.

*Flowert* Poetic Devices noticed and used effectively - In the third stanza, first line and third line, I enjoyed the use of consonance. The repetition of "ing" lent a nice flow to that stanza.

*Flowerr* My favorite stanza is...

First drop,
First tear,
Birds zoom,
Storm here.

The reason I like it is because there is not only 2 words in each line, but only syllables as well. Also, the first word in the first three lines share the use of assonance or internal rhyme of "ir".

Great poem! I had a hard time choosing between this and one other, so I might just go ahead and do it as well!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone
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#1937709 by Dave


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134
134
Review of Lornda, My Friend  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone .
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket that Elle - on hiatus bought for you at "Invalid Item"  as part of your "Invalid Item"  package. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - What a sweet sentiment for a friend!

*Flowerv* Tone & Mood - Lighthearted and precious

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - Interesting acrostic. I would say that it should be left aligned normally, but since you added the acrostic at the end also, it's kind of cool this way!

*Flowerw* Emotional Impact - Made me hope that one day I have a friend on WDC just like this.

I loved diving into your port. I'm sure I will visit it again sometime soon for some additional fun and inspiration.

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone
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#1937709 by Dave


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135
135
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello!
This is Marci and I'm excited to review this for you.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of the gift basket that Elle - on hiatus bought for you at "Invalid Item"  as part of your "Invalid Item"  package.

I think that you have chosen such beautiful and cute pictures to relay your messages. The encouraging note on each one is perfectly matched to the picture! My favorite cNotes are:

Perfect Setting
Strength in Details
Creativity

Marci Missing Everyone

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136
136
Review of THE ART OF ART  
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone . I am reviewing your piece because posted a request in the Review Forum. In the future, just post in our regular forum. *Delight* You'll get more people to see it, and the Review Forum is to keep track of packages that people have purchased for us to do reviews. Now, anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - I like the idea and concept of the poem. Our life as a canvas, and our experiences are the paintbrush.
*Flowerv* Tone & Mood - The mood is set well in the second stanza with second stanza. I like the use of the line...

"The canvas, like magic, holds the world"

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - I see that the rhyme pattern is supposed to be aba, bcb, cdc, etc... It followed this form off and on, so I became a little confused as to whether you were changing or couldn't find a rhyme to fit your form. This is tricky, and sometimes we need to chose different words in order to create a good rhyme. Ex:

Group of words world, annulled, and swirled... annulled does not fit the rhyme.
Group of words flaw and explore do not rhyme.

*Flowerb* Grammar/Punctuation - there are a couple of places where the grammar is slightly off. Stanza 2 line 6, and stanza 4 line 1.

Finally, you need to go back and look at the punctuation. There are comma's needed in several places. A period may be needed more often than at the end of every stanza. If you need more help with that, please don't hesitate to email me and talk about this further. *Smile*

The subject matter is awesome, and I think you have the beginning of a great poem here. Work on it a little bit, and email me back.

My favorite line:

Like rainbows in dance, colours swirled.

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone
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#1937709 by Dave


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137
137
Review of The nightmare  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone . I am reviewing your piece because you are on The Banks of the "Talent Pond's Estuary" . Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - This is an awesome poem!

*Flowerv* Tone & Mood are dark as is well established in the first stanza.

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow were all amazing. I noticed an abab rhyme pattern, and felt no stumbles as I read it out loud.

*Flowerw* Emotional Impact - I could feel the fear of the nightmare as well as the awakening.

*Flowerb* Grammar/Punctuation - The only reason that I didn't give this poem a perfect rating has to do with the use of punctuation. We all have our personal opinions about the use of punctuation in poetry. As an artist, we have a right to make that decision. However, I feel that punctuation is just as important in poetry as in any other piece of writing, and I feel it only adds to the depth and the meaning as we read the poem aloud. The main thing, though, is that you used comma's in a few places, and that was all. If you are going to use punctuation at all, you should follow through and use it all the way through, or else you shouldn't use it at all. Okay, I'm coming off my soapbox now. *Blush*

*Flowert* My favorite line...

it wasn't my friend's chilling breath
But a nightmare in his stead.

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone
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#1937709 by Dave


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138
138
Review of Memory, May I?  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone . I am reviewing your piece because you are on The Banks of the "Talent Pond's Estuary" . Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - This is a beautiful poem and an original way to use this set of words. I entered this same contest, and my poem was much more obvious. I like that you thought outside the box!

*Flowerv* Tone & Mood are established well with first line.

May I mourn the spring right through?

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - I realize this ends up as a free verse poem, but it doesn't start out that way. I like the flow and rhyme pattern of the first two couplets. It's actually a little confusing as to why it changes, so when writing a piece of poetry, no matter the style, you should stay with it throughout the entire piece.

*Flowerw* Emotional Impact on me is that you are searching for something, and I hope you are able to find it.

*Flowerb* Grammar/Punctuation - No problems noted.

*Flowert* Poetic Devices noticed and used effectively - The consistent use of the question "May I?" at the beginning of every couplet is nice.

One question that I have as a reader is in the final stanza. These lines contradict each other, and I wonder why. You state...

Half this month of May is gone.
Six weeks have passed me by.

My favorite lines in the poem...

May I shun the rain drops dew?
Waste away the hours.

Overall a great poem. Keep writing!!!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone
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#1937709 by Dave


"Invalid Item" 


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139
139
Review of CASCADE  
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! *Smile*
I am reviewing your piece because I saw it in the Poetic Journey's entries. Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - Awesome imagery!
*Flowerv* Tone & Mood - You reflected well what a poet goes through when writing poetry.
*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - Beautiful flow, and you followed the form perfectly!
*Flowert* Favorite line "into a healing pool of reflection"

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone
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#1937709 by Dave


"Invalid Item" 


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140
140
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone . I am reviewing your piece as an entry in the "FIVE STAR POETRY CONTEST:editor's choice" . Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - I wholeheartedly agree with the premise of the poem. Reminds me of that song that says "sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug."

*Flowerv* Tone & Mood - You effectively set the tone & mood of the entire poem within the first stanza. Especially with the lines...

"Life’s a bowl of cherries but
It has lemons sometimes."

To me this means that sometimes life is sweet and sometimes it is sour. Erma Bombeck once wrote, "If life is like a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?" I often feel that way.

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - I like the rhyme scheme and the pattern that you have set forth. For me, there were a couple of issues with flow. After reading a few of your poems, I started to wonder if it maybe the odd syllables counts in your lines with the 7/6/7/6 in your stanza's were to blame for this. For example:

"That after the plane took off,
It exploded midair.
Killing all the passengers.
I had an escape rare."

The second line would read better, "it exploded in midair."
The fourth line here is quite awkward to read. I'm not sure of the exact way to fix it, though.

*Flowerb* Grammar/Punctuation - As far as I could see, the punctuation was fine. The one suggestion that I havge here is not to capitalize words just because they are at the beginning of a new line. It helps the reader when we follow these simple things. I know it goes against the norm, but it is more and more expected to follow regular grammar rules rather than old poetry rules.

My favorite lines in the poem were:

"On some days we get dollars,
On others, only dimes."

Keep writing! I will be excited to review other pieces of poetry in the future as I feel I would like to enter your contest.

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone
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#1937717 by Dave




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141
141
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello!
This is Marci. I ran across this fun Water Balloon Fight in the Activity pages. I have to say that is is probably the most fun I've had with an activity. What an awesome idea!!! My friends and I have been throwing water balloons back and forth already this morning and afternoon. The funds are being donated to a wonderful group as well. I would love to see other activities of similar fun.

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone
142
142
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello! *Smile*
I'm Marci Missing Everyone . I am reviewing your piece because I saw that you won the Poetic Journeys contest. Congratulations, by the way!!! Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Butterflyv*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression - This was a beautifully written poem on the passing of the seasons. Your repeating line was awesome, and made for a great title as well.

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow - The flow was lovely, and there were no problems with the rhyme scheme. My favorite line...

"In stillness then does the earth lie"

*Flowerw* Emotional Impact - The poem made me a little sad that the seasons pass so quickly. It seems that the older I get, the quicker they go. I also felt the beauty and power of each season.

*Flowerb* Grammar/Punctuation - This was used correctly, and thus lent extra meaning to the poem.

Keep writing poetry, because you are very good at it!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone
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#1937717 by Dave


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143
143
Review of The Date  
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello,
I saw you asking for a review on the Bulletin page, and I was curious, so I hopped on over to your port. My name is Marci, by the way. I love romance, so this was quite up my ally. As for the review, anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use what helps, and throw the rest out with the wind.

*Flowerp* Draw - I am a poet, so I was definitely drawn in by the first paragraph. Great hook!

*Flowerv* Detail - Enough detail was given throughout to make the reader feel like they were spying on the two of you. However it wasn't so much that it stalled the story. Great job! I did stumble over one line. I like the idea of what it says, but it was rather awkward to read for some reason.

"His hand felt right; just enough roughness to suggest he worked outdoors a lot, but still took time for finesse."

*Flowery* Transitions - No problems with the story moving along. You did a great job with this. Favorite transition...

"The poet switched gears again. This time she was sensual. The audience simmered in appreciation. Was it my mind, or did he just squeeze my hand tighter?"

*Flowerb* Characters - For a short story, I really got a sense of both characters. Really good development.

*Flowerw* I love that the ending came full circle. First, she promised herself to by ladylike, and when he kissed her, she through that out the window.

Overall, I rate this story a 4.5 which is awesome. It is rare for me to give fives. The only mild issue that I see is that at times the flow is slightly choppy. Go back and re-read some of your sentences to see if some may be too wordy. Don't take out the essence of what you are describing though.

PS... By the end, I was hoping for a date with Richard and I'm married to an awesome man... hehehe.

Happy Writing!
Marci Missing Everyone


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144
144
Review of My Psalm  
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Ruwth,
Of course, you know who I am *Smile*, and I'm glad you sent me the link to this poem. I would like to give you a review, and associate it with The Poet's Place, the newest group on WDC for all things poetry. As with any of my reviews, you may use what is helpful and send the rest out to the poetry pixies. *Burstv*

Your poem, which is your own psalm, is just beautiful and full of praise. Anyone who loves the Lord will be touched by this.

When spoken aloud, the poem is melodic, and almost lyrical in spots.

The poem has deep meaning because of who God is and who we are.

Since this is a free form style poem, there is no pattern or specific rhythm, there is no forced syllable count, nor are there any common cliches.

My favorite part is:

In the darkest of my nights,
you were the brightest light.

Structure: I thought the structure was lovely in places, and then at other times the lines became too long. For poetry, I prefer the lines be shorter. There seems to be a better flow that way, especially when there are other short lines.

Punctuation: There seemed to be similar issues with the punctuation. Where the lines were longer "..." were used. It would be more effective to use a comma, which is a soft stop or pause, than to use the dots.

I believe that these ideas would take this poem from great to awesome!!! If you would like further guidance, please feel free to contact me, and I will be glad to help!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone

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#1937709 by Dave


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145
145
Review of Into The Woodland  
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,
I see you've been doing some great reviewing for our group, so I wanted to come by and review something of yours. I am also taking the Dynamic Reviewing Class, and this week we have to review poetry, my favorite! I am going to review your poem as a part of my assignment. Anything that helps you is awesome, and you can use it. Anything that is against your artistic vision, just blow into the wind to disappear. All comments are just my humble opinion. *Smile*

*Flowerp* Personal Impression: There is some beautiful imagery used in this poem. After reading through it a few times, there were a few lines that really touched me. My favorite line in the poem is..

"Like chimes that dance and blends with the wind,"

*Flowerb* Tone & Mood: Tone and mood are both effectively used in the poem. The words and images make you feel carefree on this spring evening. The words pull me into this enchanted meadow.

*Flowery* Rhyme, Form & Flow: This is a free form poem with some rhyming parts. The flow is nice, especially when read aloud. The structure is nice as it sits on the page. Very good job.

*Flowert* Emotional Impact: The poem made me feel so lighthearted. It almost took me to a time in my childhood.

*Flowerw* Grammar/Punctuation: While the poem is lovely, I would like to point out that there are a few places that may need just slight tweaks. I will give you one example, and if you would like more in depth help with that, please don't hesitate to contact me. *Thumbsup*

"beneath the leaves of every trees"

One final suggestion... The last stanza again, is beautiful. I like the last line, but there is a slight awkwardness to it. I think another slight tweak would really blend it with the passage a little better.

Those flies softly plunge me, in a gem with silk,
and I saw a beautiful fairy, and that gave me a wish.

I give this poem a rating of 4, which is great! Keep up the good work with the poetry and writing!!!

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#1937709 by Dave


Preview Party from June 16-June 30th.
Public Poetry Reading... See forum for details.
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146
146
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello,
I'm Marci, and I'm a member of The Poet's Place, and love to review poetry, so that has drawn me to your piece.

Title: Once Upon An October Night
I am commenting on this because I really love this title. We so often forget that this is an important part of the piece that we are writing.

I enjoyed this tale very much. Overall, the flow was wonderful, with the exception of just a couple places. I don't mind varying syllable lengths per line, but it does hinder the flow when one is significantly longer or shorter than the previous line. Example:

Silver tresses and one limp gait
Found a romantic spot at the magic hour of late.

Since I really love the second line, I wouldn't change it, but maybe you could make the previous line just a little longer.

Suggestion: Silvery flowing tresses and a single limp gait.

These put the syllable counts the same. This still holds the same meaning. I see this in a couple other places, but you get the picture.

The imagery is beautiful.
The poem is interesting.
There are no punctuation issues.

I can see why this one a ribbon in the Traditional Poetry Contest!

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone

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#1937709 by Dave




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147
147
Review of Christmas Tree  
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I'm Marci and I am from The Poet's Place. This is one of the five reviews from "The Poet's Place " , the package LostGhost: Seeking & Learning bought for you at "~ The Poet's Place Cafe~" .

Title: Christmas Tree
The title is simple, but it makes me think about Christmas instead. I was wondering if a title like "January Christmas Tree" would explain better? Just a thought.

Before I finish this review, I have to say I am a big fan of all your poetry. I am humbled to be able to offer a review.

Now, I am not huge on free form poetry. I am too OCD. However, you have stayed to a nice structure, and not rambled all over the place. It's very tight and nice. I really enjoyed the read. I have no specific thoughts on different word choices, etc.

I do have one thought on the structure of the poem. I see that you have come close to doing this already, but it would look really cool in the form of a Christmas tree.

So please keep writing and sharing your poetry.
Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone


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148
148
Review of Blinded Art  
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,
I'm doing your review as a member of "The Poet's Place " . I saw this piece in the review requests. Anything I suggest is just an educated opinion. However, we are all artists, and use what you can and throw the rest! *Bigsmile*

Personal Impression - An interesting look at the world with different colors. It's kind of fun to ponder.
Tone & Mood - To me, most of the poem was playfully considering what things would look like in different colors, but the last 2 lines change the tone completely into some more serious thought.
Rhyme, Form & Flow - This is a quatrain with an abab rhyme scheme. It works well, and has a nice flow when read out loud.
Grammar/Punctuation - I always like when punctuation is used, but it should always be used correctly. You often use a comma when a period is needed. I would just go back and double check the sentence structures. Also, it is not necessary to capitalize the first word in every line. In fact, it is generally encouraged that you do not capitalize if it doesn't start a sentence.

Overall - the only thing technically wrong was the punctuation issue. From an artist standpoint, the poem is playful and thoughtful at the same time, but I'm not sure about the line "the trees all look dead." It just doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the theme.

Rating - I rate on technical and artistic value. For technical I give a 4.5 and for artistic I give a 4.0... so for now I rate the poem with a 4.0.

I enjoyed reading and reviewing your piece. Keep writing and continue working on your imagery. It will come more and more naturally as you write!

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#1937709 by Dave


Preview Party from June 16-June 30th.
Public Poetry Reading... See forum for details.
Come join the fun!!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
149
149
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey again!
I doing a review for you as part of a welcome to the "Let's help each other grow- Closed" .

I am only going to review the prologue. I don't know your membership level, but if it's upgraded, you can do a book and add each chapter as you write it.

The introduction captured my attention even before I got to the prologue, but the prologue drew me in as well.

I like the introduction of the characters here. I like the description of where you are and what you are doing.

Be careful about tense. You are shifting back and forth between past and present. Since all of this is taking place at the same time, you need to make sure you consistently use it throughout.

You probably didn't need to write all that description of the dad if you weren't going to write it about anyone else in the prologue. If it were me, I would put a little more character detail with each one.

You don't need the phrase "but carrying on" in the last paragraph. It hinders the flow of the story.

In the last paragraph, give a little more detail about what they were doing. I'm pretty tech savvy, and it made no sense to me.

Over all, I like what you have begun here. Keep writing and practicing!

Sincerely,
Marci


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150
150
Review of My Garden  
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good evening!
Marci here, and I saw your entry in the new Poetic Journeys contest. For your first time with form poetry, I'd say you did a really good job.

My first impression is that it is very poetic with words that describe a flower garden beautifully. My favorite line is "Nature’s beloved palette."

Two lines didn't make as much sense when thinking about the topic: "Like morn dew" and "Old, refined". One suggestion for the first is to change to "with morn dew," Would your garden look like morning dew or would morning dew be in the garden? Then, I don't understand how old and refined describe a garden, but it's possible that I'm missing something there.

Your punctuation seems good.

When I read the poem out loud, nothing seemed forced or uncomfortable as far as flow. Of course, whenever I give a review, it's just an opinion. Poetry is subjective, and therefore, quite personal to each reader and writer. If you have any further questions about my comments, don't hesitate to contact me. I gave this poem a 4 star rating for the reasons stated above.

I would encourage you to continue to play around with form poetry. It can stretch you past your comfort zone as I well know. I love learning new forms of poetry, and seeing where that leads. Even with the comments above, I still think it's a beautiful poem!

*Flowerb* Have a great night *Flowerb*

Marci ~ Mom is Writing!


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