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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/muii.ire
Review Requests: OFF
28 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of "Panic Attack!!"  
Review by Muii.ire
Rated: E | (5.0)
The way you describe it reminds me of my first few minor panic attacks and the one I had a while ago. The memories of the pain will never go away and going through it again isn't easy and nor is describing it but you did wonderfully. I do hope you get less panic attacks but that surely must be a farfetched dream. I hope your soul and mind heals, and the imprint of those scars ease.

I like how you used:

I take on a dark aspect first and hear
a ghost-like clock tick-tocking in my ear
as if from a morbid place buried deep
in the recesses of my troubled mind

And my second favorite part:

As I hyperventilate my lungs scream
for oxygen that's not inhaling there
and suddenly my life ebbs as I feel
I am drowning, drowning for lack of air
under an ocean of thick, choking steam
of poison gas so vivid it's surreal.

Those two parts are very descriptive and imaginative yet so very true which makes this poem even more such a wonderful piece.
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Review by Muii.ire
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I hate when people say "It is selfish of you to want to die. Think about all the people you will spread sadness into?" and most times make me want to slap them. I understand people would be sad but does that mean we have to live in misery so someone else feels happy about themselves? I think that saying is wrong and it doesn't really match to what you wrote but all I mean to say is, if you want to go, I will be here smiling at you as you leave for heaven. You do deserve rest, an eternal break from this painful journey you have endured.

It is also funny how one day you want to die, you are in pain and misery and just want to leave and the next day you go on pretending as if nothing happened. That is the funny part about it all. But if you do commit it soon, I hope you do it where you can see peace and beauty in your last moments on this tragic world.
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Review by Muii.ire
Rated: E | (5.0)
In a way, the one who feels like an conqueror is the one that is hiding in that mist of depression. The one who was created by depression is another version of yourself. It isn't really you but it is you too. It's all twisted and you can't escape neither. And the things you've done in your happy-self, the depressed state hates because it's cautious and negative. But both are you of course but the depressed version tends to drown out your happy self. Or at least that's how I feel during those times and thought that's how you must feel too. But I am sorry if I offend you in anyway. c:
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Review of Too Late  
Review by Muii.ire
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
It's funny that the ones who 'care' always show up a bit too late. Feels fishy and as if its only all about guilt. Knowing you pushed that person to the edge but it's not like they hated it, its just the guilt of saying it. I feel as if they have this little part deep inside that enjoyed it. It's funny how people say "go kill yourself," then go into screams and cries when you do.
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Review by Muii.ire
Rated: E | (5.0)
Although this poem is a very sweet and humorous poem, I wonder what is so pure about virgins. It is as if people label the ones who haven't been touched and the ones that have 'tainted.' Although I do not mean any harm. This poem is quite humorous and sad although I cannot really describe how. This comment might be a strange one but I hope you understand what I mean.

It is sweet because of how the person tells of the maiden calming his pain but humorous because he lusts over her but he also wants (?) to keep her trust and wants to control his desire which helps his (I am guessing it is a male) depraved, dark soul. The sadness I feel from the poem is something I don't know how to describe nor understand why the poem gave me those vibes. Maybe it's because of the light, friendly tone the person speaks in feels lonely and scared.
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Review by Muii.ire
Rated: E | (5.0)
Inside I know when people see my room, they judge. I can't shower every time but I try. And the happiness of knowing you wouldn't judge it makes me happy. To know there is someone else you can't do simple things. It's funny how we tell people to be happy but we never take the advice ourselves. You do seem as if you care about your well being and all I can say is I am happy. And I do hope we can get it together eventually.
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Review by Muii.ire
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Lmao, to imagine being so tiny and splats of droppings falling from the "sky" must be scary indeed. I am guessing it is the horse's droppings so it must be like a piece of land falling on top of you. Poor Tim and Tom. Horse droppings are already quite big enough ­čśé
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Review by Muii.ire
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Most say love is painful, but I say the feeling of knowing you are loved and you love then yet cannot bare the thoughts that have carved your soul and mind is the worst. I do not know if you are just writing this or are depressed but this is a beautiful poem c: I am sorry if I offend you in any way though! If I do, please tell me what I've done and I will apologize c:
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Review of Verwandlungen  
Review by Muii.ire
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dieses Kapitel der Geschichte ist sehr faszinierend. Ich liebe es, wie du schreibst und die Geschichte erz├Ąhlst. Obwohl es ├Ąrgerlich ist, jedes Mal zu ├╝bersetzen. Aber ich genie├če das sehr und kann es kaum erwarten, mehr zu erleben! Ich werde versuchen, verschiedene Teile zu lesen, aber diese Computer-Website ist wirklich gut. Peter ist wirklich dumm. Die Tatsache, dass er ├╝ber das Foto nicht sonderlich ├╝berrascht ist, ist seltsam. Ich w├╝rde definitiv ausflippen, wenn ich es w├Ąre. Ich verwende translate. Wenn die Grammatik falsch ist, entschuldigen Sie mich bitte.
Ich meine nicht dumm, aber anscheinend hei├čt das haha. Ich meine silly.
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Review of Mental Mess  
Review by Muii.ire
Rated: E | (5.0)
That is one of the most relatable things I've ever read here, which makes it even better. Whether you actually feel like this or just writing it, you portrayed it very well. 5 minute friends happen to the most of us but I hope she/he gets a longtime forever friend soon. I am sorry if I did something wrong but I do not mean to c:
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Review by Muii.ire
Rated: E | (5.0)
This story is very heart-aching and sorrowful yet so beautiful and happy. In her eyes see say her father breaking yet still trying to become someone from a story. Her mother trying to hide it all by the gifts she brought but she saw it and the fantasies and dreams of hers slowly changed. But in the moment when she saw her dad come out of the fire to save her dog that she cherished so much, she was reminded of why she thought her father as a hero. I'm sorry if that's not what the story meant but that's how I see it. Anyway, this is very beautiful and I do not mean to upset you. c:
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Review by Muii.ire
Rated: E | (5.0)
I haven't heard of Dr.Seuss is so long and this poem you've created remind me of the memories that haven't been thought of as many years past. Thank you for the nostalgia I got from reading this. It truly is so beautiful, oh so wonderful, and funny c:
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Review of Autumn.  
Review by Muii.ire
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem inspired me to make a poem about fall so I thank you. I will dedicate it all to you because of how this beautiful inspired me to write it so. Each season is very special and you made me realize how much, which is a amazing ability to have. Maybe someday I also can inspire someone to write one too! c:
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Review of A secret  
Review by Muii.ire
Rated: E | (5.0)
This secret is truly a secret that is there but you can't truly hear until you experience what that secret means. Meaning I do not understand the secret but I can clearly see it. I oh so do wish I could understand it. Anyway, this poem is very beautiful c: I have almost no words to describe its beauty but rather only avoid trying to describe it haha
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Review of The Aging Process  
Review by Muii.ire
Rated: E | (5.0)
The fact that im aging and this really understands me is sad. I'm slowly forgetting about people I've once loved yet cannot call their names and features again. Aging is a really sad yet beautiful way of life. You really described it well. Only my dreams can show me what they once looked like but then I forget again. When you get older, its easier for you to break.
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Review of Trumpty Dumpty  
Review by Muii.ire
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Oh my! This is a wonderful twist on the rhyme, although still so sweet and dark. Trumpty Dumpty might never come up again, for he fell off the wall he had tried to built. Anyway, this is a wonderful piece of writing. I hope you have more.. lol.
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Review by Muii.ire
Rated: E | (5.0)
After you wrote your final page to "Smile!(Groan?) You know you love these," I decided to explore more of your stories and I definitely was not disappointed. This poem is very beautiful and a very well done poem. You really are an amazing writer. I hope to someday be as amazing as you. This story of someone who lost something so precious such as his memory which had been with him since the beginning and left after a incident. The speaker must be in sorrow.
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Review by Muii.ire
Rated: E | (5.0)
"Freedom is a mirage. They lied and told us to live and you would be okay. 'You are free' but every thought and voice screams you should be dead. That you are a glitch. Something that even god would not answer. And you have to stay quiet and smile, as if it does not hurt. As if you can bend but never break. But you have already broken. And freedom you search is barely freedom itself. Because it will never come true." - Muii.ire
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Review of I am weak  
Review by Muii.ire
Rated: E | (5.0)
"Smiling depression is where you are awake and in hiding. Hiding from criticism and the guilt of the sacred word 'Depression.' It is where you are tired and smiling no longer becomes smiling. It becomes a mask. You are like a toy with a curve carved on the face. But to live you must die. Die on the inside but every cell throbbing and shouting you are alive. But by the time anyone realizes, its to late; and you have become numb." - Muii.ire
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