Sorry for such a long wait on this review. I truly hope that it is helpful and worth the wait. The first thing that I like to do whenever I review something for someone is to run it through Grammarly.com, a general editing software. I will first start out my talking through some of the results from there.
1. Based on Vocabulary, readability, and word count, Grammarly scored this writing as a 58 out of 100. The higher the number, the better. I usually aim for somewhere between 75 and 90. 100 if I am shooting for as close to perfect as I can manage.
2. There are 52 correctness alerts. The most common problem you have according to Grammarly is the lack or commas. This includes not using the Oxford comma when making lists. You might want to try to read up on the use of commas for more academically sound essays. There were a few more minor mistakes, but nothing worth mentioning in a review.
3. For clarity sake, and I agree with Grammarly on this point, you have some really long sentences. For example, you have a paragraph that begins with "I hold to this theory..." and it is literally one long sentence. It is a 99 word sentence. It has a lot of punctuation, but none of them are full stops. For clarity, simplicity of reading, and general flow, I could recommend breaking up several of your really long sentences. Grammarly flagged 13 sentences are being too long or too difficult to understand.
4. Finally, Grammarly did approve of your delivery when it was set to casual, neutral tone, informative, and for a general audience. Good job with this.
Now I will move on to my personal thought.
1. I think the topic is rather interesting. I have never seen the movie, though I have some idea of what it is about from social media and what not and I am a Christian so the comparison caught my attention.
2. I think there are a few points in the paper where the flow is broken a bit, mostly in places where you as "side notes" and (comments like this). If this were an academic essay, I would say this is frowned upon. There are other ways to include such comments that make them not so disruptive to the flow.
3. I think you have a lot of good descriptions and I can feel as I read that you truly believe these connections are there. I think I would have to see the movie to make the connections myself, but it certainly leaves the reader with something to think about.
Overall, I think the essay could use some polishing. It doesn't read like an academic essay, but it is still pretty nicely written. You have support that backs your arguments and I can see that you spent a lot of time in thought trying to process this comparison.
Thanks so much for requesting the review. Sorry again that you had to wait for so long. If you want to discuss anything further or have questions about any of my comments, please feel free to contact me!