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601 Public Reviews Given
603 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I am a published author. That doesn't make me an expert reviewer but it does means I've learned a few things about good writing. You can expect me to critique storytelling, character development, plot, transitions and other building blocks of writing. I will point out grammar and punctuation issues when I notice them but if you are looking for someone to give that kind review, there are others who will do far better than I. I try to be honest and encouraging but if you're requesting a review, I'm sure you expect it to be thorough. Good reviews sometimes hurt. I can't spare you that and give you an honest review.
I'm good at...
Critiquing your storytelling skills, especially first chapter reviews. I'm also good at building believable characters and recognizing good dialogue. I can review whole novels but my time is limited and it has to be worth my while.
Favorite Genres
Action adventure, comedy, historical, sci-fi and well-conceived fantasy.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, Erotica, LGBTQ, Poetry. Some of this I don't like at all while the rest I am wholly inadequate to give a review on.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, first chapters, and complete novels if they are not astronomically long.
Least Favorite Item Types
Extremely long novels, poetry, random chapters from the middle of a longer story.
I will not review...
Horror or Erotica. I will also not give reviews on random middle chapters. I don't believe they can be adequately reviewed out of context. Please don't ask me to review Vampire or Zombie stories. The sub-genre has been beaten to death and I don't want to read another one.
Public Reviews
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101
101
Review of Sweet Dreams  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" 

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I kind of liked this. It comes off as a love song type of poem.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I did take the time to look at your links. Your rhyming and rhythm are superior and reflect the songwriter in you. I might have guess at that without the links.

*Sun* Suggestions:

I honestly think your writing and music will grow and develop along with time. I think it's pretty good and you just need to keep doing it.



Keep on writing!

Pico

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102
102
Review of I MISS MY GRANDPA  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" 

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

This poem had a very different feel to it than I usually get when reading a poem. Kind of hard to put my finger on but I did find it in a way refreshing.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

What makes it different is what makes it appealing. You come out as a different unique voice and that is probably the greatest strength I see in your writing.

*Sun* Suggestions:

As a poet you need to pay attention to rhythm and rhyme. In this case I think you could tune the rhythm a little to make it better. Free verse is fine without any effort to rhyme but when you do that your images and your rhythm become all that more important.

*Sun* Overall:

Great work! I spend a lot of time on this site and I look forward to stumbling across more of your work either by accident or by design.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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103
103
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I was surprised this had an average rating of three and a half. That's what I give for slightly better than average. This is way better than average. Your story has a good beginning, middle and end. It flows well and is understandable. There is variety in the sentence and paragraph structures and the story itself does keep the reader's interest throughout. I can't even knock it for using too many weak verbs like was and had. In short I really liked your story. I wasn't that far from saying wow and bestowing you with five stars.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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104
104
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I couldn't find the freeze frame contest that this was written for so I don't know the rules or prompts you were writing to. That aside I really enjoyed this. I like to have a positive take on everything and I love to read where something that is definitely bad can lead to something positive. I wouldn't wish the pain you have suffered on anyone but from your writing I appreciate what you have become.

Thanks for the upbeat encouraging read. Keep on writing!

Pico

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105
105
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed the metaphorical WDC building visit. It is a nice warm way to introduce a new writer to the site. I think it does a really nice job of capturing the essence of the site. I do wish I had more time to spend here. I do plan to be one of the people you will bump into in the halls of this site for quite some time.

Thanks and keep on writing!

Pico

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106
106
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is the best... okay the only poem about Vegemite that I ever read. Congratulations on having it featured on someone's official company website. I had lots of Australian friends in college but I was shy to try it. Let's just say I've had memorable international food experiences that were memorable for all the wrong reasons. It just reminded me of a darker version of some sort of special axle grease my Dad brought home from the factory when I was a kid. I will not eat it on crackers or bread but I can see adding it to stew to give the stew a different flavor. So there is some hope that I might actually ingest some.

I liked the rhyming and the rhythm so I didn't have any real criticism of this.

Great job! Keep up the great writing!

Pico

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107
107
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Honestly I was enjoying this piece of writing too much to pay attention to nitpicking things in your writing. That is a very good thing. At least you tried the Vegemite. I chickened out on that one. Too many bad experiences with food from other cultures in the past.

I reread it and still don't have anything to really criticize. I liked the description top to bottom.
Great job. Keep on writing!

Pico

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108
108
Review of From the ashes  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a well written poem with a clear rhyming scheme. The images and thoughts work together. I'm not much of a poet but there is something I would have done differently and to me it sounds better. I would remove the word had from the second line of the first and last verses and in the last line of the poem I would have contracted I have to I've to fix the rhythm problem that creates. Feel free to disagree with me if you wish. You're more of a poet than I am.

Great work! Keep writing!

Pico

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109
109
Review of Bike Riding  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Think gel seat or seat pad. I'm an avid cyclist at least I was until recently. I just had to read this story and it didn't disappoint. I have my own cycling war stories and I'm always tickled to read something like this.

As far as I'm concerned there is nothing wrong with the writing. In one paragraph you use the weak verb was a lot and that is supposed to be bad. I can't think of a way to reword it without losing the character of the piece and it has lots of character.

Great job! Keep writing!

Pico

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110
110
Review of CRADLE ME  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm not much of a poetry expert but I feel like this is a superior piece of work. I have no real criticism of it because every element I see in this belongs here and everything seems to work together.

I really liked it! Keep up the great work.

Pico

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111
111
Review of The Garden  
Rated: E | (4.5)
There is a lot of great visual imagery in the piece. I like the way it moves along. I'm not much for reviewing poetry but I know what I like.

One point of critique. You mentioned taste as well but did not appeal to any of the other senses. That would be the only element I would consider adding to this piece.

Great work! Keep on writing!

Pico

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112
112
Review of Yours To Hold  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
There is a lot I like in this piece of writing. Emotion and character development in a very short bit of work. You explored motivation which is very important in making your characters real. I think it works well.

I do have a criticism. You use the weak verb was a lot. Reducing or eliminating that one word from your writing would take this up a notch.

Excellent writing! I would like to see more of your work on this site. Keep on writing!

Pico

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113
113
Review of A Single Rose  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A nice short poem. I especially like the title of it. I've always contended that imperfect rhymes work just fine except on rare occasions. The imagery is very good. I reviewed another of your poem earlier and again I'm not entirely satisfied with the rhythm when I read this.

Excellent work! Keep on writing!

Pico

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114
114
Review of A Teacher's Poem  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I don't think there is a teacher who cares even a little bit about the work they do that can't identify with the contents of this poem. Good use of rhyming. You also have a clear rhythm pattern. There is something in the rhythm that makes me stumble while I read this and I can't quite put my finger on the exact reason. It seems to be the way that third line ends.

Great job! Keep on writing!

Pico

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115
115
Review of Before 8 November  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a really well written poem. I liked the rhyming scheme. I don't have any problem with the imperfect rhymes you occasionally used. It was well tied together and it stuck to a recognizable rhythm as well. I just didn't find it all that romantic. I'm not sure why.

Good work though! Keep writing!

Pico

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116
116
Review of The Haircut  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow your hair went all the way to the back of your knees or is this a work of fiction. Either way it was believably written which is always a good thing. The story itself is well constructed and the conflict keeps it interesting.

Where I think this story needs to be tweaked is getting rid of weak verbs wherever possible. Specifically try to get rid of the word was and had. It's not easy but it does make writing better.

Great work! Keep on writing!

Pico

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117
117
Review of The window  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is one of those poems where you can debate the in depth meaning of the poem forever. The symbol of the window is well developed just not tied to anything concrete. That isn't a criticism. There is a lot of good poetry written that way. Rhyme scheme is easy to follow and the rhythm is good. It gets just a little out of kilter in a few places.

As far a criticism goes, you need to go through carefully and fix the spelling mistakes and capitalize letters where you are supposed to.

Good job! Keep writing!

Pico

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118
118
Review of The Best Revenge  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like this poem for what it expresses and the attitude of the one who has been hurt. I think to really succeed though this poem needs more. The rhythm of the two verse stanzas comes off needing more depth. I think it would have made it stronger to have longer verses. Making more lines along the lines of the first line of each verse and then asking the question. Not sure if I'm making sense to you. Poetry is not really my forte.

Good work! Keep on writing!

Pico

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119
119
Review of Dracula Essay  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I read this over a couple of times to try and figure out why the average rating on this is two and a half. I don't get it. You wrote a description of an imagined scene from Dracula just as the assignment required. I'm a little bit sick and tired of vampire themed stories but I won't hold that against you. I thought your description and imagery was excellent.

A few points to help you. In the line, “I will only hate you if leave me in death.” It looks to me like there is a word missing. The only other thing I will mention is that you use forms of the verb to be a lot. To be is a weak verb and it is important to minimize it's usage as much as possible. I have to work at that a lot in my own writing.

Good work! Keep on writing!

Pico

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120
120
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
The book looks like it is in a bit of a race to see who does Lord Blackstone in first. With the importance of the book carried by the priest firmly established at the beginning of the story I know that whatever happens will involve the book. The way this chapter builds though is that this will turn into one of those big giant who done its where everybody wanted him dead and everybody looks guilty but none of them actually did the deed.

The story is unfolding nicely and I have no real criticism to offer at this point. It definitely is keeping my interest. Looking forward to the next chapter when it is ready.

Pico

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121
121
Review of More About Me  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well written. Excellent character development. Lol. I'm not sure exactly how I'm supposed to review something like this. I do appreciate all the work I see that you do around here. It's people like you who make this site the place I spend most of my Internet time.

Thanx,

Pico

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122
122
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I thought that was funny. I'm a wee bit dyslexic so this could have been me even without my questionable typing skills. I didn't see any problems with the writing that I thought were worth nitpicking so I gave you top marks for this.

Keep writing!

Pico

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123
123
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I'm reluctant to give this a rating. I really don't know that an idea is rateable here. I decided to agree with the collective rating just because I can't really justify a rating at all. The idea definitely has potential. I think more depends on the characters and their motives as to whether this is going to be a good story or not. While I think the basic idea has potential it is a little short on specifics here.

Good luck with your story. Keep on writing!

Pico

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124
124
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Terrific description, powerful images almost poetic. I think this piece could have been made more powerful by adding some character development. I do understand the description and the images and they do speak to me but I have a difficult time connecting them to a character. For that reason I don't connect to them as powerfully as I might myself. Not sure if I'm making a lot of sense for you.

Good work. Keep on writing!

Pico

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125
125
Rated: E | (5.0)
The hardest review of all this week. I like this forum and think that it helps inspires newbies to be part of the site and participate. I know that positive encouraging helpful reviews have really been what has made this a favorite site for me.

The only thing I find difficult is that I'm not much of a poet and I get to review an awful lot of it here. Maybe it is broadening my own horizons. That's the reason I don't mark the rating down for that.

Kudos for the St. Paddy's Day graphic.

Pico

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