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601 Public Reviews Given
603 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I am a published author. That doesn't make me an expert reviewer but it does means I've learned a few things about good writing. You can expect me to critique storytelling, character development, plot, transitions and other building blocks of writing. I will point out grammar and punctuation issues when I notice them but if you are looking for someone to give that kind review, there are others who will do far better than I. I try to be honest and encouraging but if you're requesting a review, I'm sure you expect it to be thorough. Good reviews sometimes hurt. I can't spare you that and give you an honest review.
I'm good at...
Critiquing your storytelling skills, especially first chapter reviews. I'm also good at building believable characters and recognizing good dialogue. I can review whole novels but my time is limited and it has to be worth my while.
Favorite Genres
Action adventure, comedy, historical, sci-fi and well-conceived fantasy.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, Erotica, LGBTQ, Poetry. Some of this I don't like at all while the rest I am wholly inadequate to give a review on.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, first chapters, and complete novels if they are not astronomically long.
Least Favorite Item Types
Extremely long novels, poetry, random chapters from the middle of a longer story.
I will not review...
Horror or Erotica. I will also not give reviews on random middle chapters. I don't believe they can be adequately reviewed out of context. Please don't ask me to review Vampire or Zombie stories. The sub-genre has been beaten to death and I don't want to read another one.
Public Reviews
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101
101
Review of From the ashes  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a well written poem with a clear rhyming scheme. The images and thoughts work together. I'm not much of a poet but there is something I would have done differently and to me it sounds better. I would remove the word had from the second line of the first and last verses and in the last line of the poem I would have contracted I have to I've to fix the rhythm problem that creates. Feel free to disagree with me if you wish. You're more of a poet than I am.

Great work! Keep writing!

Pico

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102
102
Review of Bike Riding  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Think gel seat or seat pad. I'm an avid cyclist at least I was until recently. I just had to read this story and it didn't disappoint. I have my own cycling war stories and I'm always tickled to read something like this.

As far as I'm concerned there is nothing wrong with the writing. In one paragraph you use the weak verb was a lot and that is supposed to be bad. I can't think of a way to reword it without losing the character of the piece and it has lots of character.

Great job! Keep writing!

Pico

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103
103
Review of CRADLE ME  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm not much of a poetry expert but I feel like this is a superior piece of work. I have no real criticism of it because every element I see in this belongs here and everything seems to work together.

I really liked it! Keep up the great work.

Pico

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104
Review of The Garden  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
There is a lot of great visual imagery in the piece. I like the way it moves along. I'm not much for reviewing poetry but I know what I like.

One point of critique. You mentioned taste as well but did not appeal to any of the other senses. That would be the only element I would consider adding to this piece.

Great work! Keep on writing!

Pico

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105
105
Review of Yours To Hold  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
There is a lot I like in this piece of writing. Emotion and character development in a very short bit of work. You explored motivation which is very important in making your characters real. I think it works well.

I do have a criticism. You use the weak verb was a lot. Reducing or eliminating that one word from your writing would take this up a notch.

Excellent writing! I would like to see more of your work on this site. Keep on writing!

Pico

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106
106
Review of A Single Rose  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
A nice short poem. I especially like the title of it. I've always contended that imperfect rhymes work just fine except on rare occasions. The imagery is very good. I reviewed another of your poem earlier and again I'm not entirely satisfied with the rhythm when I read this.

Excellent work! Keep on writing!

Pico

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107
107
Review of A Teacher's Poem  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I don't think there is a teacher who cares even a little bit about the work they do that can't identify with the contents of this poem. Good use of rhyming. You also have a clear rhythm pattern. There is something in the rhythm that makes me stumble while I read this and I can't quite put my finger on the exact reason. It seems to be the way that third line ends.

Great job! Keep on writing!

Pico

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108
108
Review of Before 8 November  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a really well written poem. I liked the rhyming scheme. I don't have any problem with the imperfect rhymes you occasionally used. It was well tied together and it stuck to a recognizable rhythm as well. I just didn't find it all that romantic. I'm not sure why.

Good work though! Keep writing!

Pico

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109
109
Review of What's In a Name?  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
At least you weren't named after a small musical instrument because your dad thought it was cute.

I liked the subject you chose and how you handled it. I also like the positive twist you gave it at the end. The whole story has an identifiability that a lot of readers will take to.

I don't want to nitpick the writing itself much because this is more of a personal piece. In a professional piece I would try to avoid the word was because it is a weak verb. You use quite a few of them. Your writing is good though. Don't get me wrong.

Keep writing!

Pico

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110
Review of The Haircut  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow your hair went all the way to the back of your knees or is this a work of fiction. Either way it was believably written which is always a good thing. The story itself is well constructed and the conflict keeps it interesting.

Where I think this story needs to be tweaked is getting rid of weak verbs wherever possible. Specifically try to get rid of the word was and had. It's not easy but it does make writing better.

Great work! Keep on writing!

Pico

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111
111
Review of The window  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is one of those poems where you can debate the in depth meaning of the poem forever. The symbol of the window is well developed just not tied to anything concrete. That isn't a criticism. There is a lot of good poetry written that way. Rhyme scheme is easy to follow and the rhythm is good. It gets just a little out of kilter in a few places.

As far a criticism goes, you need to go through carefully and fix the spelling mistakes and capitalize letters where you are supposed to.

Good job! Keep writing!

Pico

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112
112
Review of The Best Revenge  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like this poem for what it expresses and the attitude of the one who has been hurt. I think to really succeed though this poem needs more. The rhythm of the two verse stanzas comes off needing more depth. I think it would have made it stronger to have longer verses. Making more lines along the lines of the first line of each verse and then asking the question. Not sure if I'm making sense to you. Poetry is not really my forte.

Good work! Keep on writing!

Pico

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113
113
Review of Dracula Essay  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I read this over a couple of times to try and figure out why the average rating on this is two and a half. I don't get it. You wrote a description of an imagined scene from Dracula just as the assignment required. I'm a little bit sick and tired of vampire themed stories but I won't hold that against you. I thought your description and imagery was excellent.

A few points to help you. In the line, “I will only hate you if leave me in death.” It looks to me like there is a word missing. The only other thing I will mention is that you use forms of the verb to be a lot. To be is a weak verb and it is important to minimize it's usage as much as possible. I have to work at that a lot in my own writing.

Good work! Keep on writing!

Pico

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114
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
The book looks like it is in a bit of a race to see who does Lord Blackstone in first. With the importance of the book carried by the priest firmly established at the beginning of the story I know that whatever happens will involve the book. The way this chapter builds though is that this will turn into one of those big giant who done its where everybody wanted him dead and everybody looks guilty but none of them actually did the deed.

The story is unfolding nicely and I have no real criticism to offer at this point. It definitely is keeping my interest. Looking forward to the next chapter when it is ready.

Pico

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Review of More About Me  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well written. Excellent character development. Lol. I'm not sure exactly how I'm supposed to review something like this. I do appreciate all the work I see that you do around here. It's people like you who make this site the place I spend most of my Internet time.

Thanx,

Pico

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116
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I'm reluctant to give this a rating. I really don't know that an idea is rateable here. I decided to agree with the collective rating just because I can't really justify a rating at all. The idea definitely has potential. I think more depends on the characters and their motives as to whether this is going to be a good story or not. While I think the basic idea has potential it is a little short on specifics here.

Good luck with your story. Keep on writing!

Pico

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117
117
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Terrific description, powerful images almost poetic. I think this piece could have been made more powerful by adding some character development. I do understand the description and the images and they do speak to me but I have a difficult time connecting them to a character. For that reason I don't connect to them as powerfully as I might myself. Not sure if I'm making a lot of sense for you.

Good work. Keep on writing!

Pico

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118
118
Rated: E | (5.0)
The hardest review of all this week. I like this forum and think that it helps inspires newbies to be part of the site and participate. I know that positive encouraging helpful reviews have really been what has made this a favorite site for me.

The only thing I find difficult is that I'm not much of a poet and I get to review an awful lot of it here. Maybe it is broadening my own horizons. That's the reason I don't mark the rating down for that.

Kudos for the St. Paddy's Day graphic.

Pico

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119
119
Review of Knight of Hues  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really liked this and think you did an excellent job of writing to the writing contest prompt. My only critique is the use of the word purple. Purple doesn't have a true rhyme in English and normally I don't make issue with an imperfect rhymes but in this instance the rest of your rhymes are so perfect this one make the reader stumble when they get to it.

Excellent work! Keep up the writing!

Pico

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120
120
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Your title was terrific. That's what caught me attention and made me want to read this. There was a lot of good imagery here although it wasn't entirely clear all the time. There appears to be an effort at a rhyme scheme and there is rhythm in places. Honestly though I'm not sure what to change to make it better. Fixing one thing would trade off something I liked in it.

Was there any reason for the bold print words in this?

Good job here though! Keep writing!

Pico

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121
121
Review of My Angel  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
The subject matter here has tons of potential. Powerful emotions, lots of pain and anguish. This can be harnessed into powerful poetry. Your poem is a great start. Your last line "The feeling inside of me will never be told" is the key here. I know that the emotions are impossible to adequately express but as writers and readers we want you to try.

Your writer's heart is there just keep writing and it will come out!

Pico

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122
122
Review of Stranger  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Structurally this is written very well. Excellent rhythm and rhyme scheme. Usually the repetitive phrasing will create a powerful mood in a poem but something with this imagery and all doesn't really do anything positive for me. I find that method will create a brooding mood which can be very effective. I just don't think it works with the subject here.

You're a better poet than I so don't be discouraged. Keep up the good work! Keep writing!

Pico

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123
123
Review of Karma  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a grand poem with a lot of powerful imagery. I liked that. The rhythm is also excellent. I don't quite get why the title and the repeated "refrain" is on a different centre than the rest of the poem. Might be something with your word processor that didn't translate exactly. If there is an actual reason for it I'm not clear on that.

Keep writing!

Pico

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124
124
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I give you high marks for this poem tribute to Brian Jacques. I was introduced to his books through my children who read them and ended up enjoying them myself. I enjoyed his writing style and the characters that he brought to life in the pages of his book.

Thanks for the tribute!

Pico

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125
125
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
As a cubicle person I liked this poem. I identified with much of what you wrote. First couple lines I didn't find really inspiring but it got better and most of it fits well. Rhyming was good and the rhythm wasn't bad. I would have not written "save my bottom" not just for political correctness but because you used the word bottom again two lines later and that made it really clang. I would have used the word butt whatever my readers would have thought. I think the poem sounds better that way.

Great job though! Keep writing!

Pico

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