|This is also a good poem, although
' fell through the door,
But you locked the vault.'
These too lines don't really make sence to me, it seems that you chose the word vault specefically so it rhymes. Vault may make sence, but it gave the immpression that you could'nt find the right words.
Other than that each verse was fantastic, it captured the emotion, and i got the picture.
Well done mate.