This is a very well-written piece, that gets some clear statements across. Those are excellent questions you posed, using the voice of 'the blind'. So tell me... can you? those last words after reading the whole piece were very thought-provoking. Great writing!
You Wrote:They say that I am different. That I have an ailment, something that stops me from being whole. Whole? What is whole, but a perception, something seen by people as "the norm." So what makes me different? In English, I learned that sentences have to be complete statements. Your first and second sentence here could be merged into one...but really, I'm not too sure if this is necessary. Some of the great writers of the past used a style that would appear invalid in English class- even Shakespeare for example used a 'broken sentence'. I think that this could pass
You Wrote:Come to think of it, maybe you are the one with the ailment, the one who is different, the one who isn't "whole." I have tasted the wind of a sunset. Felt the moonlight on my face. Smelled the sweet sent of a snowfall. Stayed awake for fourteen hours listening to the grass grow. Suggestion: sent is scent. Just a slight misspell.
Thanks for sharing this thoughtful piece. Have a great day, and Write On! ~Jaoli
This is a perfectly STUNNING sig! Crystal does great work, doesn't she? I've been in her sig shop. I really like the amazing colors on this one...you won't ever miss it! Great choice.
Hello! I hope you're doing well today. I'm Jaoli, and I discovered your item on the 'Read a Newbie' page. Here's my review:
I read this through and, as I have read Jane Austen's books and watched the movie Sense and Sensibility, this was enjoyable to read! However, I do have a few suggestions for you in my review below.
Just a Suggestion: In a real interview, last names - not first names - are commonly used. But that can be up to you. Also...you had Title: Sense and sensibility. Should sensibility be capitalized, or are you NOT referring to Austen's book title?
You Wrote:-“ I was very happy with the way my novel turned out and I enjoyed writing every part of it there was not a down side and I was especially glad that it is been published as a, and still... This is just an example of what I mean by 'hurried'. Read it over and see if you can catch what I mean. I do like your word choices though, they are excellent!
You Wrote:Ladies and Gentle men please put your hands together for Jane Austen.” I've never heard that phrase before...please put your hands together for Jane Austen. Another good word choice!
You Wrote:Tosca-“Good-Evening Jane, it’s so wonderful for you to join us tonight.” I noticed throughout your interview a lot of 'Good-Evening', 'Thank-you', etc., with the dashes between words. Are you trying to capture an old style of writing? (I've seen something like that in Louisa May Alcott's books.) Or spelling error? You decide
You Wrote: -“ Yes I was following a strategy, I’ve used the same strategy in one of my other books called ‘Pride and the Prejudice’. I wrote her as the oldest daughter she is nineteen and very mature and well behaved compared to her sister Marianne.” Towards the middle of the book I changed Marianne and Elinor’s characters around by writing a conversation between her brother Sir John Dashwood and another gentleman Colonel Brandon, I wrote,... Here are a few more examples of 'hurried speech'. I can't read it as well if it isn't properly punctuated Plus, you forgot an apostrophe here: ...sister-in-laws brother..., here as well: mainly to bring Elinors character out much more but I think I should of allowed Marianne to get over the incident much more easily so the readers that did take a liking to Marianne wouldn’t have gone off her so easily and like Elinor instead. Pleeease don't think I'm being picky...I just copied & pasted for your information.
You Wrote:Jane-“In this case the word sense means intelligence and logic and sensibility means awareness and deep feeling, Together the title Sense and Sensibility provides us with a novel that illustrates the relationship between virtue and honour and sympathy and feeling.” Isn't there supposed to be a . instead of a , here: feeling, Together...?
You Wrote:Jane-“The family of Dashwood had long been settled in Sussex. **This sentence begans a whole paragraph. Instead of copying and pasting all the punctuation errors I found, I suggest that you could just look through it and insert commas where necessary. For instance - They for many years had lived in respectable manner.. Try: For many years, they had lived in a respectable manner.
I'm giving this because it definitely has more than average. I really liked your Bibliography at the end, that helps things And, your substance is excellent. Except for several word misplacements. I thought that your representation of Jane Austen's character was very good, even for fiction. Great job...and don't forget, Write On! *_~
The titles of both your polls caught me so I positively couldn't pass them up. Anyway, I thought this was funny, and the WritingML poll too Actually, I've seen WritingML that's been totally outstanding in usage, and some that's...-ahem- well, could be used a tidbit lesser. I'm definitely the 2 to 5 Hrs Logged In / "Borderline Obsessed" - TV remote is getting dusty. -stares- There's actually five votes on Always On / "Clinically Obsessed" - can't survive without WDC ?? I think I might know one of those...
*scratches head* You know, I think this happened to me once...
-Back on topic- This is hilarious! I couldn't stop grinning! Isn't that awful? Did you have to go back and edit all those posts? I'm sure that would take a while...
Anyway, thanks for sharing such a funny incident. I'm sure I'm not the only one that thinks so
I can't forget rating this, after I submitted a testmonial... thank you so much Writing.com!! And an enormous thank you to the site runners too (is that a word? ) I definitely would highly recommend this site...I've already done so to several friends. My family was astonished at all the reviews I got, not to mention me as well!
Thank you so much (and SM too) for providing this wonderful community. I hope it lasts a long, long time! ~Jaoli
I've never seen quite a logo like this...either you have a really good program, an excellent imagination, or terrific drawing skills! It SO nice, and unique
Anyway, great job. Thanks for sharing...and image on! ~Jaoli
I noticed this in a newsletter and couldn't help clicking on it after the description above it. Anyway, I completely agree...shame on whoever wrote that!! I think that GP's are a generous option on Writing.com. Of course you have to pay for server space, etc - so upgrade payments are definitely necessary. (-ahem- Who doesn't agree?)
You might remember my usual reviewing route...copy, paste, bulleting, etc. I would do it here, but I'd just be copying everything Instead: keep up the good work!
That was an extremely well-depicted poem ~ I can almost see the scenery and the fisherman! Great job.
You Wrote:Rainbow-like treasures from the limb / That hover by the shadowed rim. / They seem for all the world to take / Somehow rainbow-like doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the stanza. I think it could pass, it just seems somewhat odd when reading it
You Wrote:Or the evening pleasantly passed / With a rod in hand and the past /
Reliving in the interlude,/ Once again, the stanza seems to have an awkward catch. With a rod in hand and the past Again, it could pass, but it seems a little less flowy than the former verses.
Overview: Nice grammar, adjectives and stanza make for a well-flowing poem! Good work!
This is an amazing sig...the colors are bold and striking. I like the image of the horse with the sun behind him Haha, that rather reminds me of me...its SO unbelievably hard for me to get off Writing.com once I'm on. Hours slip by unoticed
I think you have a pretty good overall piece here...I had to read it over several times before I could see its meaning. However, I like the thought you're putting forward. (I'm taking it that you wrote this )
You Wrote:In creating the Sistine chapel, if Michelangelo had not fired his assistants, would the masterpiece that we see today have been the some? Good point. Small suggestion: Change some to same.
Whoa...that was a perfect poem if ever I read one. I mean...speaking technically, such as the timing and stanza of your verses. They match perfectly...just what real poetry should do.
You Wrote:When the sun drifts low in the sky,/ And a remnant of light / Still blankets the trees / That sway with a rustling sigh. There's an example of a perfectly-matched rhyme, meter, and stanza! (Great word choice, too.)
You Wrote:This, to the peace of an evening in Spring / When the light of the moon filters down, / And its glittering dust / Gently covers the earth / With the glow of a silvery gown. I like the creativeness of the last two lines
Great job. You have a talent in poetry. This well deserves five stars. Keep it the great work! Cya ~Jaoli
Found your link somewhere *tries to remember where and fails*...Nice job!! The humorous touch you added made it a nice read. (Aha! You chose the correct genres )
Anyway, great job. Thanks for sharing! ~Jaoli
P.S. Don't forget to tell me when you finally overcome writer's block so I can come review *wink*
Great job. I think I'm going to start making my review page in Word to copy and paste every time: except mine is rather simple, so as not to get bogged down with too many E's. (Sample below) However, I really like your style...prob better than mine. Do you add your reviews to the Public Reviewing page? Its fun to check up on how it looks after writing it
You wroteIf I find any spelling or grammar errors, I copy & paste them in this section… …and then make my comments here. Exactly what I do!
You wroteI make an overall comment about the story here at the end, trying always to keep it encouraging. Excellent!!
You wroteThe Setting ...The author’s success in illustrating the setting. I’ll generally comment on two dimensions of setting: time and location. If the story is set in another time, I’ll comment on believability. I’m a visual person, so the author’s ability to bring me into the scene and show me what the setting is like (by dialogue and action, not just description) is important to me. Another great job!!
Here is definitely a 'How I Review' piece that deserves a fiver. Have a great day, and keep on writing!!
Cya ~Jaoli
P.S. Do you have a review signature? Those really help sometimes. I have several...I can make one for you, if you want...
After looking through this list, my reaction was... WOW! I can't believe it! It must have taken you a while to put this together!
Anyway, great job. I'm a fan of anything King Arthur, so this is definitely a help. Most of those books you listed I never even knew about...and I'm still wondering what "Press Kit: King Arthur (2004)" means... But, anyway, I give this a fiver, both for the work you put into it and the nice arrangement in emoticions, colors, centering, etc.
Cute! I laughed at your one sentence: I am the good looking one on the right. Peeker is the looker on the left. And, of course, this can't be an actual COW at the keyboard?? That doesn't sound...exactly...err...cowlike. :D
Anyways, thanks for sharing! Have a great day ~Jaoli
This was a great piece...I couldn't let it go without a rating.
Anyways, there was one point I especially liked, since I did it the other week (EDIT: There were several)
Create business cards with your portfolio URL and hand them to friends, associates and other people you may meet who are interested in reading or writing. Definitely an excellent idea!! Except mine are waiting to be handed out still, I keep forgetting
Inviting your own family and friends doesn't always have the highest appeal to members. Afterall, its not necessarily their opinion you want and you can ask them to read your writing any time you want. I smiled at that. My main editor in helping me with my book is my Mom
Ebay and other auction sites are also great places to get added exposure. The next time you list something for sale, don't forget to add your portfolio URL and you'll have your referral number on the rise in no time! Isn't that something... some of eBay's sellers are my close relations.
Thanks for sharing!! Ciao ~Jaoli
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You Wrote: They say that I am different. That I have an ailment, something that stops me from being whole. Whole? What is whole, but a perception, something seen by people as "the norm." So what makes me different? In English, I learned that sentences have to be complete statements. Your first and second sentence here could be merged into one...but really, I'm not too sure if this is necessary. Some of the great writers of the past used a style that would appear invalid in English class- even Shakespeare for example used a 'broken sentence'. I think that this could pass 
Another good word choice!
because it definitely has more than average. I really liked your Bibliography at the end, that helps things 
Actually, I've seen WritingML that's been totally outstanding in usage, and some that's...-ahem- well, could be used a tidbit lesser. I'm definitely the 2 to 5 Hrs Logged In / "Borderline Obsessed" - TV remote is getting dusty. -stares- There's actually five votes on Always On / "Clinically Obsessed" - can't survive without WDC ?? I think I might know one of those... 
) I definitely would highly recommend this site...I've already done so to several friends. My family was astonished at all the reviews I got, not to mention me as well! 
Small suggestion: 
) Nice job!
