|I seriously got to admit this. I gagged a bit every time I referred to those bullying lines.
There are a lot of bullying done across various parts of the world and every time I read a story, I really feel bad for them.
But the second act of your story made me icky, I guess. I just can't find a better word. I don't mean this in a negative way. Your writing is so powerful that I felt the creeps of that situation like it was happening to me.
I'll come back to the deep review in a moment. First, as you asked, my views on your grammar and flow.
1) I couldn't find any grammar mistakes. A bit of tense difference that I felt while reading, but couldn't find. There might have been here and there but nothing that can impact the emotion of the story.
2) The flow was meticulous. It was like a river.
First, I was taken into the world of Martin, who was wearing his Ninja Turtles T-Shirt. You developed his character enough so that the reader can care about him in the second act. And then the second act began. Things started to go south. Angus was another great character who was also given the action so that we reader could hate him. Personally, I hated him. The third act was set up nicely with Angus's father. I thought that he would root for his son, but thank you, you took the high road with his character. I really like that Martin felt sick at the end seeing someone, even he hurt him, beat to death. Finally, I really loved your work, and I haven't reviewed such powerful writing in a long time.
My Favorite Lines:
1)The tall boy had his hands behind his back and told Martin that his name was Angus and Angus thought "Marty" was the perfect name for a little faggot.
2)He held the stick six-inches from Martin's face. Martin gagged from the smell. Angus told Martin that someday, Martin would have to taste shit.
3)He grabbed Angus by the throat pushing him forward into the yard until he threw Angus down. In front of Martin and his father, he beat Angus.
Another way you could have ended is after Martin hugs his father, he could have said something like this.
Martin, with tears in his eyes, "Please tell him to stop beating him, dad. He is in pain."
But I really liked the way you ended.
To summarize, it was a really great piece of work and I sincerely hope that this kind of scenario doesn't happen to anyone in real life.