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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ravalyn
Review Requests: OFF
52 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of A Golden World  
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice, but I am sad you did not have a camera and so have not shared an image of this well-described place
2
2
Review of action  
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: E | (4.0)
very well done
3
3
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Very nice poetic synopsis of the sate of humanity according to the Holy Bible
4
4
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I cannot figure out how to create a new folder to organize my work...can you help me by sending instructions?
5
5
Review of Hello new year  
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Interesting piece. Odd formatting...almost like different poems pieced together


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
I feel odd calling a piece about Halloween cute, but it was


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Interesting. The younger generation did commentary was relatable.
It seems the father in the poem wanted that his children never relate to what he had to overcome.Yet he held them to standards he had made for himself.
Is it disrespect to express discontent of having to live in the gap between what one's father worked so hard to provide them yet with stringent standards they really do not have to undergo just because he did?
Interesting how the dad achieved what he wanted and was it just for himself? Or for his offspring? How then, in either case, the children be driven to feel they are never good enough as the people of their father's past made him feel?
This poem was engaging in particular for me because it echoes a similar personal experience.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed the story. The humanity of the two characters is portrayed well. The severity / beauty of nature is, as well. The wolves hunger juxtaposed with Brother's was clever. Walker was a complex character and details into her reactions and motivations would have been nice (e.g., why did she seem so creeped out by religion? how did she become so skilled in outdoor survival?). Nevertheless, it kept me reading.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of The Nut Tree  
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow. Beautiful tribute to nature and the Creator.

I enjoyed the different rhyme for each portion.

Keep on writing--I would love to read more!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of Farewells  
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: E | (1.0)
I enjoyed some lines in this poem. The structure was confusing, however. It is probably just me, and, if so, apologies.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of LIFE LEARNT  
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: E | (1.0)
This could use some touch ups grammatically. Stylistically, was this a journal entrance or a freelance poem?

I think there is allot of relatable content with some editing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of For Us To Find  
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: E | (3.0)
Interesting
Not sure if you were criticizing people or God or people who look to God for answers as your launching pad for criticizing politics
Nevertheless
Interesting read
13
13
Review of The Tree Sap  
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: E | (3.5)
Nice
Maybe use some spacing so its easier on the eyes?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review of Cinderella  
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Wow. Dark. Well written


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of Dream Journal  
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Very articulate retelling of dreams...are these actual or a fictional account of probable dreams?

Regardless, they are all well told. Pardon. Well written.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review of Love to leave  
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wow. Powerful-- nice


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review of Doughnut Saga  
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: E | (3.0)
Cute and funny. I want donuts now.

Recommendations: tantalize is spelled with a 'z' not an 's'

Commentary: The last two lines...the last one makes sense. The one before about 'something nice'...was that you tongue-in-cheek saying that you are to punish yourself, as well?







*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Nice plea for peace


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice use of a full circle life lesson. Clear scene by scene set up.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: E | (5.0)
Quite a story, sir. Well written.
21
21
Review of Forms of Fear  
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: E | (5.0)
Such a wonderfully written poem born of what sounds like deep rooted suffering.

I am going to rate this as it impressed me, and I would like to offer a site that might allow you to remember with less pain and fear. www.copingwithpositivepsychology.weebly.com I manage the site and if you want to know more feel free to reach out to me here on writing.com


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like the hope you give with the repeating refrain of god knows and sees all.
I wish that you would have included seeing your son again in paradise.
I wanted to know what happened to the son who fell ill.
The ten commandments seemed to be an admonition for the reader to be 'good'--is that right?
Is heaven, then, earned?

Thank you for sharing your work and vision
23
23
Review of Relapse  
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I hope this, if a real personal problem, is being dealt with hopefully with a professional counselor.

Writing recommendations:
This cup awaits my hell --> In this cup awaits my hell
But please don't tell ? --> who?
Trust I am too --> Trust me, I am, too

I see that you tried to connect hell to your personal reality more by mentioning the devil with a capitol D, but maybe make it like the hell awaiting you in the cup is the devil?

Otherwise, nice work making alcoholism's reality a personal tale--lonely condition.

24
24
Review of Matter Horn  
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: E | (2.5)
Clearly there is a beautiful vision for this piece. The introductory stanzas that they appear to be presented as, though, are confusing. Are the readers also on the planet of the unicorns or a different one where the scrolls were found? The reference to Paul Bunyan was completely out of place unless the story is told from Earth in the future when history of this planet favoring history from the Western continents is still learned as other galaxies are explored and scrolls of antiquity from those alien planets join in Earth's folklore...or...

Maybe this was the first fleshing out of a brainstorm and with some editions it will be an irresistible read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review by Mary T (Ravalyn)
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Very fascinating. Graphic at times but not tastelessly. Valeria is an interesting character. The little guy's personality beyond falling for a pretty, older lady could use a little more development in order to get empathy for his love pangs and sympathy for his shrunken state.
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