I'll admit, I really loved reading through this. I love this idea so much. I've always been a gamer, and I really think this is an idea that would make everyday tasks and chores a lot more engaging for everyone. To be honest I feel like having something like this in real life would really be something amazing, something that would greatly encourage people to level up their skills, work out and complete their required quests (the chores and everyday tasks they need to do).
I also love the point you mentioned about allowing users to contribute suggestions and add-ons. I really love this idea. As a gamer I've seen time and time again how dedicated fans with passion and vision for the game can get pretty creative and help enhance the experience with their own ideas, and I think such a thing should definitely be encouraged. Having a strong community and fanbase helping make improvements and add more stuff into the would make it all the more engaging, as there could be periodic updates and patches to the game, with new features coming in gradually so there's always something new to see. The game developers letting the fans get involved in helping to enhance the experience is really a great idea that I wish was implemented in the gaming industry more often.
Overall I really got very excited about this idea, and I really would like if this becomes a reality. I really think it would enhance the way we live and make life much more engaging. If this were to become a reality, I'd love to be a part of it.
This is a very interesting poem, that with its simple structure and language manages to evoke a very clear image in the reader's mind. Throughout the poem, the description is made in such a way that makes the reader visualize himself flying high in the sky, seeing the beauty of the sky and the clouds.
In my personal experience it made me remember that one time I travelled by plane as a child. I had a seat next to the window, and I remember looking out the window and the sight of the sky and the white clouds. It's really a pretty unique sight that's very different than looking at the sky from the ground. I like how this poem makes me remember that experience, as I feel a good poem will always evoke a certain feeling, emotion or memory in the reader.
This is an excellent poem. Keep writing, and I hope to read more of your work.
This is a very effective introduction in my opinion. The description is done very well here, setting the mood and tone of the story before the dialogue begins.
An important moment in the piece would be when the police come to give the protagonist the bad news. Though I would've liked to see a bit more focus on the protagonist's reaction to the news of his parents' death. That would've made the scene much more impactful in my opinion. However, besides that, I think everything else is very well done.
If there's anything I can help you with, let me know! Red Fork
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Congratulations for this piece! I really enjoyed it from start to finish. Here are a few things that stood out to me:
-The description of the scene at the beginning. Short yet effective, that beginning really helped me visualize the scene in my mind. I could see the dark gray castle, and the comparation to a violent storm really helped paint the scene the way you intended.
-The description of the protagonist's distress as she was heading towards the big door of the castle. I have to say, the description is definitely what made this short piece so special.
-And of course, the happy twist at the end made it all the more rewarding to read. I like how you built up the tension over the course of the piece, and end it with that twist. I couldn't help but smile at that part. Great way to end the story!
I must say, this was a great article. I like how you began the article as a short story, describing a scene, and making us feel as if we were really there. That was a powerful introduction in my opinion, which helped to catch the interest for the rest of the article. Good job on that!
And then the historical part, which was very well written in my opinion. I've always enjoyed educational articles, and I must say that in my eyes, this one was very well written. They way you narrated and described everything made the entire piece feel alive, and it never really fell dull or boring at any point, so great job with that too!
Overall, a great article that, with solid narration and description, makes learning something new a very enjoyable experience!
I really enjoyed reading this poem. Short yet really gets to the point. I like how you got creative and resourceful with the vocabulary you used in this poem. I'll admit I learned a new word today.
The poem is very well structured, and gives a very important message about the importance of working as a team. Overall, a very good poem, I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work!
I think this would definitely make for a great love song. There's a consistent rhyme in the verses of the song, and I tried singing it in my mind, and it works well if you give it the right melody. The fact that it has several parts that repeat throughout the song makes it a song that would be very easy to learn, which is good. Overall, I think these are pretty good lyrics. Well done!
First of all, welcome to Writing.Com! We're always glad to see new writers on this site!
I liked your story. The way you described the scene helped form vivid images in my mind while reading this story. Everything, from the way you described what the protagonist could see and hear, to the way she reacts to what she's seeing.
Keep up the good work, and have a great writing experience on this site!
This was a pretty fun story to read. It gave me a bit of Little Red Riding Hood vibes, but the story itself is pretty creative. From Adolfo stopping Rita saying her grandma is a witch, to the plot twist at the end where the pink unicorn appears behind Adolfo, the story was fun to read.
It's a short yet very touching composition. Bullying can real have a devastating impact on a teenager's self-esteem. In times like these, nothing helps a teenager more than the right words from their parents. Keep on writing!
Overall a pretty interesting story. Despite being rather simple, it manages to catch the reader's interest early on. I specially think you chose the perfect title for the story, since it gives the reader a question he/she whats to know the answer to: "What are Mule Feathers?" I just laughed when I realized what Mule Feathers actually means. Pretty clever, I must say. Well done.
Welcome to Writing.Com, Kaitlyn. It's always nice to see new members joining this site. It's great that you've developed such a passion for writing at such a young age. I remember I wrote my first short stories when I was about your age. There's lots of learn in the world of writing, and it's a wonderful journey. Keep on writing, practice makes perfect. When I look back at the stories I wrote years ago, it helps me realize how much I've grown. You'll grow as a writer too if you keep writing, read as much as you can, and never get discouraged. So keep on writing, and have fun!
I couldn't help but smile while reading this. While reading this story I couldn't help but have it all play in my mind, the turtle wishing he could fly, to when he struggled to climb the wall, to when he's on the wall watching it all from above. The ending was probably the best part of this. Even though he couldn't fly, he found something else he really enjoyed. Who knew aiming for the goal of flying would lead him to discover a different activity he'd enjoy this much? Stuff like this has happeend to me in real life before. Sometimes pursuing one goal unexpectedly leads us to finding new things on the way. That must be one of the reasons they say that it's not about the destination, but about the journey itself.
Hello, I'm Red Fork, and I'm interested in joining this group. I'm relatively new to this site, and knowing how joining a site with so much to offer can be overwhelming at first, I'm interested in helping newcomers, welcoming them and helping them out in anything I can.
This is a great essay, very motivational and inspiring. I've liked writing ever since I was a child, and I continued to improve throughout my teenage years. I'd agree that age doesn't matter when it comes to writing.
I really liked how you expressed all your points throughout the essay. It's all very well organized, from the introduction, to each of the points in the body of the essay, and the conclusion as well.
Just as you said, passion is the most important factor for a good writer. And with this essay, I can see that you definitely have it. This essay was really inspiring. In fact, I think after writing this review I'll definitely go write a story myself!
I enjoyed this story. It's simple, but it was nice to read. I found the beginning quite interesting. That interactive bit with the protagonist talking to the reader really gives it the feeling of a nice children's story.
Overall, I'd say it's a nice, cheerful story. It made me feel like a child again.
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