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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/redfork2000
Review Requests: ON
23 Public Reviews Given
Favorite Genres
Adventure, Comedy & Romance. Specially fond of lighthearted stories.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, Tragedy, and overall dark stories.
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Red Fork
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a very effective introduction in my opinion. The description is done very well here, setting the mood and tone of the story before the dialogue begins.

An important moment in the piece would be when the police come to give the protagonist the bad news. Though I would've liked to see a bit more focus on the protagonist's reaction to the news of his parents' death. That would've made the scene much more impactful in my opinion. However, besides that, I think everything else is very well done.

If there's anything I can help you with, let me know!
Red Fork
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2
Review of Damaged Memories  
Review by Red Fork
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Congratulations for this piece. While reading this I was able to feel the emotions along with the characters. I could feel the joy and happiness when the man was able to remember his daughter, Maria. Having someone in the family that has Alzheimers is a hard experience, and I like that this poem manages to convey the emotions that come from such a complicated situation as this one.

And that ending, when Maria comes back with her children, and the man can't remember her anymore, it just adds more to the amount of emotions present in the poem, and reflecting the sad reality about Alzheimers. Overall, a very well-written piece that manages to convey strong emotions and represents the struggles that come with Alzheimers.

If there's anything I can help you with, let me know!
Red Fork
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3
3
Review of Jasmine  
Review by Red Fork
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Congratulations for this piece! I really enjoyed it from start to finish. Here are a few things that stood out to me:

-The description of the scene at the beginning. Short yet effective, that beginning really helped me visualize the scene in my mind. I could see the dark gray castle, and the comparation to a violent storm really helped paint the scene the way you intended.

-The description of the protagonist's distress as she was heading towards the big door of the castle. I have to say, the description is definitely what made this short piece so special.

-And of course, the happy twist at the end made it all the more rewarding to read. I like how you built up the tension over the course of the piece, and end it with that twist. I couldn't help but smile at that part. Great way to end the story!
4
4
Review by Red Fork
Rated: E | (5.0)
I must say, this was a great article. I like how you began the article as a short story, describing a scene, and making us feel as if we were really there. That was a powerful introduction in my opinion, which helped to catch the interest for the rest of the article. Good job on that!

And then the historical part, which was very well written in my opinion. I've always enjoyed educational articles, and I must say that in my eyes, this one was very well written. They way you narrated and described everything made the entire piece feel alive, and it never really fell dull or boring at any point, so great job with that too!

Overall, a great article that, with solid narration and description, makes learning something new a very enjoyable experience!
5
5
Review by Red Fork
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really enjoyed reading this poem. Short yet really gets to the point. I like how you got creative and resourceful with the vocabulary you used in this poem. I'll admit I learned a new word today.

The poem is very well structured, and gives a very important message about the importance of working as a team. Overall, a very good poem, I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work!
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6
Review of Toressa  
Review by Red Fork
Rated: E | (4.5)
I think this would definitely make for a great love song. There's a consistent rhyme in the verses of the song, and I tried singing it in my mind, and it works well if you give it the right melody. The fact that it has several parts that repeat throughout the song makes it a song that would be very easy to learn, which is good. Overall, I think these are pretty good lyrics. Well done!
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Review of Beyond the abyss  
Review by Red Fork
Rated: E | (5.0)
First of all, welcome to Writing.Com! We're always glad to see new writers on this site!

I liked your story. The way you described the scene helped form vivid images in my mind while reading this story. Everything, from the way you described what the protagonist could see and hear, to the way she reacts to what she's seeing.

Keep up the good work, and have a great writing experience on this site!

Red Fork
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8
8
Review by Red Fork
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was a pretty fun story to read. It gave me a bit of Little Red Riding Hood vibes, but the story itself is pretty creative. From Adolfo stopping Rita saying her grandma is a witch, to the plot twist at the end where the pink unicorn appears behind Adolfo, the story was fun to read.

Red Fork
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9
9
Review of You are Loved  
Review by Red Fork
Rated: E | (4.0)
It's a short yet very touching composition. Bullying can real have a devastating impact on a teenager's self-esteem. In times like these, nothing helps a teenager more than the right words from their parents. Keep on writing!

Red Fork
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10
10
Review of Mule Feathers  
Review by Red Fork
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall a pretty interesting story. Despite being rather simple, it manages to catch the reader's interest early on. I specially think you chose the perfect title for the story, since it gives the reader a question he/she whats to know the answer to: "What are Mule Feathers?" I just laughed when I realized what Mule Feathers actually means. Pretty clever, I must say. Well done.

Red Fork
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11
11
Review of Four-year-old  
Review by Red Fork
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really enjoyed reading this story. I've never been a parent, but I've had two younger siblings, so I know what it's like to have a litle child at home who's always asking questions. While reading this I can perfectly imagine the four-year-old child asking his mom all these questions.

I specially liked that last part, where the dad says the cake is as light as a feather, and the mom frowns, knowing what her husband has triggered. I actually laughed during that part. Well done.

Red Fork
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12
12
Review of MEET ME!  
Review by Red Fork
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome to Writing.Com, Kaitlyn. It's always nice to see new members joining this site. It's great that you've developed such a passion for writing at such a young age. I remember I wrote my first short stories when I was about your age. There's lots of learn in the world of writing, and it's a wonderful journey. Keep on writing, practice makes perfect. When I look back at the stories I wrote years ago, it helps me realize how much I've grown. You'll grow as a writer too if you keep writing, read as much as you can, and never get discouraged. So keep on writing, and have fun!
13
13
Review by Red Fork
Rated: E | (5.0)
So that's why it's called the Writer's Nightmare... Great story, I'd say it was brilliant. I couldn't help but laugh while I was reading this. All these characters popping up and complaining about how the author abandoned them. Their interactions were some of the funniest writing I've seen recently.

This was one of my favorite parts:

"My dear Esther. Always seeing the good. Besides, you just like that you finally get it on with the Wolf.”

The young woman turned quite red. “MY LADY! That is between me and Harry.”

“My dear, if he ever finishes our book then whoever is insane enough to read it will know you two are lovers.”

Simply seeing all the interactions between the author's characters, how they argue with each other and protest to the author about how their stories were left unfinished, it was just a really fun thing to read. Great job!
14
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Review of Lost and Found  
Review by Red Fork
Rated: E | (5.0)
I couldn't help but smile while reading this. While reading this story I couldn't help but have it all play in my mind, the turtle wishing he could fly, to when he struggled to climb the wall, to when he's on the wall watching it all from above. The ending was probably the best part of this. Even though he couldn't fly, he found something else he really enjoyed. Who knew aiming for the goal of flying would lead him to discover a different activity he'd enjoy this much? Stuff like this has happeend to me in real life before. Sometimes pursuing one goal unexpectedly leads us to finding new things on the way. That must be one of the reasons they say that it's not about the destination, but about the journey itself.

Overall, I loved this. Great job.
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Review by Red Fork
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello, I'm Red Fork, and I'm interested in joining this group. I'm relatively new to this site, and knowing how joining a site with so much to offer can be overwhelming at first, I'm interested in helping newcomers, welcoming them and helping them out in anything I can.
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Review by Red Fork
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a great essay, very motivational and inspiring. I've liked writing ever since I was a child, and I continued to improve throughout my teenage years. I'd agree that age doesn't matter when it comes to writing.

I really liked how you expressed all your points throughout the essay. It's all very well organized, from the introduction, to each of the points in the body of the essay, and the conclusion as well.

Just as you said, passion is the most important factor for a good writer. And with this essay, I can see that you definitely have it. This essay was really inspiring. In fact, I think after writing this review I'll definitely go write a story myself!

Great job, and keep up the good work.
17
17
Review by Red Fork
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed this story. It's simple, but it was nice to read. I found the beginning quite interesting. That interactive bit with the protagonist talking to the reader really gives it the feeling of a nice children's story.

Overall, I'd say it's a nice, cheerful story. It made me feel like a child again.
18
18
Review by Red Fork
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I really enjoyed this story. I believe the best part of this story were the characters. Tom Leghorn, Miss. Tina, Kody, Ol'Will, and all the support characters really gave the story a nice feeling. Each of the main characters was well developed in my opinion.

It was really interesting to see Ol' Will's backstory as being a Bronco Riding Rooster himself when he was young, since it gives his character more depth. There's also Kody, who I believe was very well written as well. I like how he played a key role in the plot, being the one who gives Tom something soft to use. It's always nice to see how each of the main characters had a purpose in the plot as a whole, and the story wouldn't be the same without one of them.

I also liked Miss. Tina as a character as well. That romantic side of the story with Tom & Miss. Tina gave the story a bit more of variety than it would've had otherwise.

The plot itself, although simple, was very effective. In fact, I had to go to sleep before I could finish reading this story, but the plot was good enough to make me come to continue reading the story as soon as I woke up. Well done.

Overall, it was a very good story, with well-written characters, and an engaging plot.
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