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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/screwysapphire
Review Requests: OFF
55 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review of TWILIGHT SKIES  
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Thank you for entering the Mashup Contest. This was a doozy! Less good stuff first.
The title doesn't particularly relate to the piece.
Ben's interest in astronomy gives him a good reason for camping and amusing given the aliens, but is never mentioned after the very beginning.
The description of action is a little dull.

Good stuff!
No grammar, syntax, or spelling errors.
Got a good sense of character.
Got a good sense of setting.
The actions and reactions of the characters are all reasonable to how real people might react.
The threat was written very well, with just the right amount of subtlety and suspense. The last line made me smile.

Disclaimer!
I am not the ultimate authority on your work. I'm an angsty suburban teenager who likes to write. Art is subjective, but it can still be improved in the eyes of its audience and author.

❤💛💚💙💜keep calm and write on!
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2
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for entering the Mashup Contest! I will start with the cons of this story first, because I liked it.
So, yeah, cons:
Sort of choppy action
Could give a little more physical description
That's it!
Pros:
Good grammar
Interesting characters
Creative use of prompts
And it's just a fun story! I definitely smiled at the end. A fitting story for the holidays, too.

❤💛💚💙💜keep calm and write on!
-Sophie
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3
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: E | (4.5)
This definitely hits the nerve of an American who doesn't read the news. With so few words, you've captured how gosh darn exhausting all of this is. It's so much easier to ignore than to change, especially when we're not in positions of power. Thanks for reminding me. Reminds me of an old proverb from 2016- "Shocked but not surprised."
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Review of Meeting You  
Review by Space Cat Sophie
In affiliation with Newbies + Poetry Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ah, this is a clever loop. I know for a lot of people relationships are confusing, and your poem highlights this. I also like the choice of second person. It's well chosen and I think it would make people think about their own experiences.

Keep Calm and Write On!
5
5
Review of Down to the Wire  
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: E | (4.0)
This seems like a pretty interesting situation! I'd advise that you lengthen it so that the reader can gain some context.
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Review of The Truth Is...  
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
That's quite a truth bomb!
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7
Review of A Cryptic Choice.  
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Oh my! Quite the cliffhanger! Some pretty mad rhymes in there, too! My only advice is to break up the first paragraph into smaller bits to make it easier to read.

💙💜❤💖💛💚keep calm and write on!
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Review of She's So Cute  
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Aww! How sweet! I like the way how this tells a story but none of the rhymes feel forced.

💜❤💖💛💚💙 keep calm and write on!
9
9
Review of Zena's Interview  
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Huh! This Zena girl seems like quite the character, quite full of spunk and stories!
10
10
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is perfect! 💜❤💖💛💚💙 gave me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

Keep calm and write on!
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11
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Ha! This is quite clever. You definitely have a talent for acronyms and toilet humor, not to mention the wonderful puns.

💝💛💚💙💜Keep Calm and Write On!

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Review of Last Pictures  
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Aw, kind of a sad ending. I liked this story, though, it had realistic dialogue, and the inner complaining was well written. I think you could improve upon your descriptions, like what the mountains looked like that were worth that much risk. Add a pinch of background between Jason and Donna, and the story's perfect!

💛💝💜💙💚 Keep Calm and Write On!
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13
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is such a vivid portrait of people's fantasies. Candy everywhere, a joyful atmosphere, everything. I really enjoyed reading this!
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14
Review of Big Bad Wolf  
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Wow, this really paints a vivid picture of somebody standing up to a cold-hearted businessman. Even though you aren't really sure what, exactly, is going on, it's easy to root for the tough kid. It's a fine speech and a fine sentiment.

Wonderful Poem. Keep on writing!
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Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: E | (4.5)
I haven't really appreciated this kind of non-rhyming, free verse poetry until recently, when I read a book by A.S. King and saw some of the poems written in that.

Your poem is concise and lyrical at the same time. It paints a picture, but it kind of lends an elegance and greater meaning to a dog's reaction to thunder. Well done!
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Review of A Rookie's Tale  
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
The plotline is realistic, a glimpse into the life of a cop in a relatively crime-free town. The descriptions aren't too overzealous, while still giving the reader an idea what the setting is like. The narrator's voice is strong and consistent. The reactions, I think, are realistic as well. My only problem would be that I would think Officer David would get out of the car faster, but it does make the prank funnier as he stews in his own panic.
Keep Calm and Write On!
-Sophie
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Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: E | (4.5)
The beginning is very funny. There are, I think, some minor errors with word repetition... Try to mix it up some more. The plotline is very realistic. Definitely potential there. I'm interested in seeing what happens next!
🙋See ya!
-Sophie
18
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Review of Dancing Trees  
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Awww it's very sweet and clearly written with a special someone in mind. I wish you luck with that person.
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Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: E | (1.0)
How do I post?
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Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very inspiring. You found an unlikely topic and made it shine with love for life and love for others. Looks odd on the outside, but really works.
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Review of Twisted Mirror  
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I feel this. It has emotion. Sadness is an emotion worth expressing. Did you go through this as a teenager? I understand what you say about 'what you show is ruining me.' It's very sad but very true. People really go through this, but not enough care. It's short and bitter and makes a clear-cut point. Good job!
Kat
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Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: E | (4.5)
It was very interesting to read this story. I tried to enter this contest as well, though I couldn't, as I am not a paid member, but I was fascinated by seeing the different interpretations of this image. I loved the awkwardness between the characters, which makes it feel realistic.
The Katgirl
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Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lovely descriptive words
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Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I like the personality and the tone if the rhyming, sounds a little like an old ballad, a tale of amends and adventure.😺
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Review of The Artist  
Review by Space Cat Sophie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Amazing descriptive words. I love how you talk about art in all of its grandeur, its messy wonder. This spoke to me on a personal level, as I love to draw and think about the world as what it might be. It's a tough life sometimes, but filled with wonder.
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