|"I Write in June-July-August " ASR: Combat summer writing slouch by participating in this forum once a week.
First Impression :
The beach ball sentence feels like a setup for what's coming, but it doesn't really fit. How does the beach ball fit into her last memories? Did she die on the beach?
I feel a little left hanging as it ends with her disappearance. Can you expand this to at least wrap up with trying again, or that Angela will help her in the future? It feels like it needs a little more.
Spelling and Grammar :
Feeling confident, she answers, "Yes I have ("Yes,)
Angel says with a dreamy look in her eyes. (Angela)
With her right hand she fusses with her hair nervously waiting for her soul mate. (Does she think he can see her? hair, nervously)
"Yes it will seem weird as you say. ("Yes, it)
"Selty are you ready? ("Selty, are)
Yes just like that." (Yes, just)
Additional Comments :
That question has been asked over and over again, throughout the generations and is still being asked to this day. Some believe love is when you do something for another person. Others believe in a more pure form of the emotion, which comes from the depths of your soul; this is done out of pure will regardless if the other person loves back, regardless of anything the person does, regardless of whether the person is in the same dimension. Selty, has been in the sixth dimension of the spirit world for some time. Through lessons learned about love from the soul is called Divine Love, for the first time, she is learning the truth about soul mates. (Are these Selty's thoughts, or is this author intrusion?)
Selty tilts her heart shaped head (I'm sure she's not thinking about the shape of her head, because she's completely engrossed in the conversation and thoughts of soul mates. It's sort of head-hopping.
God split the soul in half, in three different possibilities; male and female, female and female, and male and male. (Is it necessary to list out the possibilities? Why not, 'and put each half of the soul in separate bodies.')
This happened because both of you chose this. (What did they choose?)
"Yes I am real as you are real. I have left the earth plane and live in the spirit world..." ("Yes, I) (But why did she disappear?)