I feel boredom has done a very good job for your muse. I had to laugh (you never got that pony did you?), and ponder some really strong areas - where to move when moving from yourself - heavy duty. I didn't interpret this essay as 'being sick of humanity' until the last paragraph, I thought you were using sarcasm to explain how you see the world. So, from my point of view, the title 'Boredom' hardly defines the essay but the 'cause' of the essay. I like the surprising last line. Good job.
Your poem certainly expresses the dark side of writing. I'm sure many of us have had these feelings and you chose unique words to convey how you felt. I like how you combined rhyme with free form, it makes sense -- I didn't have to dwell for long periods to interpret your message. The use of color emphasizing the emotion is very clever. I hope the darkness has now passed. Great job.
More truth than fiction..I loved it. Only a one nit from my POV - in the second sentence I would delete ' something.' Also the 'That' beginning the third paragraph. Reword it, delete it, maybe connect it to the last sentence somehow. 'That's' muddy up writing from my perspective.
I loved the scene, the scenario, the dialogue. Great job.
What a surprise! Clever and unique. The heart containing the elements of the site arising from a heart - Reading and Writing having equal space - I'm in awe of it.
It doesn't get any better than this. You had me at press 2 and at the words 'anger management' I was rolling on the floor and couldn't stop laughing. It has everything a satire needs.
You've captured the essence of the non-human phone system. Thank you.
I can't imagine how an essay on ponder could possibly be any better. I laughed out loud and nearly fell off the chair when I read 'horny worm excuse' - (say that fast 5 times)- too funny.
The only way I see of improving this essay is to tell it in a foreign language or include a series of short poems with all the words rhyming with yonder.
OnWords & UpWords
No Blog, No Bull until April Fools
ReJoyce
Excellent info for this Newbie. I appreciate the effort you took in presenting the various options and will use your recommendations prior to becoming active in submitting examples of my work. It seems so much is available on this site I'm somewhat overwhelmed with all the capabilities. It's quite an adjustment from the usual 'Submit and Crit or Not' sites, which can be a downer for those wishing to have feedback. The tips are especially helpful. Thank you.
A great metaphorical (if there is such a word) likeness of a blooming young love. The only time I enjoy reading between the lines is when the author has done a great job of cultivating the flower bed. Hail to the sower of a beautiful seed.
Opening lines don't get any better than this. Although it drug a little with the continued explanations of Oliver's character, I couldn't stop reading. What a great plug for the well deserved web site. Clever. I look forward to reading each chapter and meeting Sara. I kept looking for a nit to pik--couldn't find one.
This work is absolutely magnificent (who cares about one misspelled word,your). I was drawn into the web immediately and was expecting to shed a few tears. I figure if someone can cause me to weep, they've penned some pretty good stuff. But, what a shocker! So well written, this is not slap dash art. It's better than Renoir. I love it. You've obviously done your homework, giving your reader a great sample of how well a scene could be written. I appreciate your efforts.
The quilt is a Wow! Other than needing a comma or three, some quotation marks, and a review of the tenses, the only thing I would change is in the sentence beginning Then it jerked me up...I would move the word 'up' and reposition it a few words further in the sentence, replacing the words 'there feet' with it.
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