This is a really interesting concept. You have stated the reason for your interest in obtaining readers and thereby finding really good stories that can become movies and tv projects. You have given us a place to visit to find out more, you have even offered an auto-reward for reading about it!
Thanks!
Hi!
I like it!
It is very cool to put the "Yet ." in at the end of this piece. You might want to resolve the guards/rifle thing -- probably one guard cried run and aimed one rifle, but maybe it was the other was around and there were more than one guard yelling and only one rifle being aimed.
Anyway, I like the way you built the suspense and the imagery, although scant, was definitely there "in the dark in the night" as they say in old horror films.
Thanks for sharing!
Hi! You are good at putting the emotion in from the beginning and I don't think you really need to repeat the "f" word several times in such a short sketch.
It is hard to imagine his weight, however bulky, whould unsettle the floor, so it would be nice to have the type of floor described.
Hang in there! You seem to have a clear picture about what you would like to express and a good imagination.
Take care,
Great idea for a poll! It proves to us when we see that others feel the same way that a lot of people love this site. Some don't, and that is to be expected. Some of the people I have talked to get lost, but I think they just don't really take the time to find out how to move around. I have several friends who were already here who have greatly encouraged me!
Hey, I like what you have done here. These pictures are really well-matched with their captions and would be the perfect thing to send on a variety of occasions!
You did a really cool thing putting these together and the price is reasonable as well. Thanks!
Wow! Lots of very good work! You hooked me from the start. The only thing that dragged me down was when it conversation was fired back and forth without reference to the environment. I used to think it was a waste of time to say "he said and she said" but now I know that you can say:
"I believe we can give one another much joy." He was quiet for a moment, reaching out to sip from the glass -- cold, clear, fresh water. There were few drinks he enjoyed more. His gaze traveled from her lips to her eyes, then to her delicate hands. "Very much joy. Let us build a friendship."
It makes the story a lot longer, but makes it more 3 dimensional and full of more sensory input than just words.
I really appreciate your honesty and openness. Humanity at its worst provokes humanity at its best to do better. However, we are not always open to becoming better. Yours is a poignant and living story, a testimony at the same time that it is a statement of awareness that things are the way they are, rather than the way we wish they were.
This puzzle was a lot of fun. It was not too complex, and the story that went with it was intriguing. The only thing I found was that saphire was spelled wrong -- sapphire is the correct spelling.
Thanks for the enjoyable puzzle! Have a great day!
Wow!
I have to tell you, I GET this! I love thunderstorms and your imagery just heightens my enjoyment.
The last sentence in the first paragraph needs to start with a capital letter, but the differences in punctuation and rhythm in the words absolutely did not obstruct your message.
I could feel the rain. I especially loved "Eventually bored with their game, thunder and lightening rumbled and sizzled off into the distance, rattling on like two old men arguing over the results of a ball game, until they eventually disapear where they came from far away near the mountains." Hee Hee! It made me giggle! What an image!
You are doing a great job, as far as I can tell. Thanks for sharing with us! I will be sending this thunderstorm item to a couple of my friends who I know will love it!
Great poem!
Boy, can I relate! I talk to people all the time who can't seem to get a handle on their eating disorder. Thanks for bringing yours out in the open and sharing your feelings about it. I think it is important to coax our true feelings out and find our strength in our ability to separate ourselves from our problems. You are an awesome writer!
One little spelling correction:
Fourth stanza, I think you meant me instead of my
And thanks for reviewing my poem so I could find you and read yours!
Wow!
I love this bit of lyrical prose. You really took me up the ruins through the trees... down the rivers, to the seas... and My love for You Keeps Growing!
Thanks for taking the time to record and share your emotions with the rest of us. I have always wanted to visit the Mayan ruins - I have visited the Anazasi and other ruins of the United States desert southwest. You took me back to many feelings I had when I was there.
I like it!
What a wonderful Valentine-y kind of poem!
I am running out of energy today, so picked something short to review. You have a joy and peace in your writing. It makes me feel really good and I like the little red hearts.
How sweet!
Thanks for putting your heartfelt joy on paper and sharing it with us!
Take care,
Love, joy, peace,
Silvervalkyre
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