Hi!
Great titles -- and all folders deserve a good rating! It lets other people know that you have gathered enough things together in the garden of life that you now need a basket to put them in! Keep it up! Load up your little red wagon and your baskets and your dog's bed if you have to!
Just... Write on!
HI!
To me, poetry is about the motion of the words and the flow of the emotions behind the words. You did a very good job at putting lots of meaning into the poetry with the words. They move the reader on to receive the meaning. Good job!
I have found an exercise that is useful to me, which might help you. Try to write the punctuation in your poem as if it is prose, then arrange the words for the rhythm you wish to present.
The structure you have chosen does not require commas between each line. These two lines are held in place by the setting of them into 2 lines. The comma after tries is not only not truly needed, it drags the poem. Do you see what I mean? You, who never tries,
To understand the power and meaning,
(Just an idea)
Write on!
Hi!
This is an interesting poem. It is bitter, but not downtrodden, for the speaker has found a way to hold herself us, by judging the actions of the one that inflicted the pain. These comparisons are good, you have definitely caught the spirit of judgement and an attempt at discernment, rather than defeat.
Write on!
Hi!
First of all, you have caught the impression of the desert very well. I have been out in those deserts and when you stop your car or truck, those are the feelings that ring true. The heat. The sand. Labouring to walk through the sand. Oh, yeah.
However, I find that I really don't care much for the central character and since I don't, it makes it difficult to read this one... I can't tell what it is.
Part of it may be the harshness of his language, but I have put up with that before -- I love the Lethal Weapon movies. Maybe it's just that even though I can relate to him, I don't have anything in common with him.
Keep writing, I'm sure you will only get better!
Hi!
I'm back! I forgot to do an r&r on this item. The explanation and introduction to your forum is very easy to understand, even for newbies like me (I just learned about review forums a few days ago). And thanks for the r&r on
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1086939 by Not Available.
Hi!
Oh, yes! I do like it! I am happy to read this great little exploration of the effect of the meanings of the names of the spells upon the person when the spell is used on our lives, on our hearts. I especially LOVE the Expecto Patronum spell!
I had a good giggle about 2023 winner of the JK Rowling Prize for children's literature.
Write on!
Hi!
I just want to let you know that this is a well-done venomous little piece. It is really to our advantage when we can take each and every experience and put it into words. It teaches us and releases the energy and somehow cleanses something -- it just helps to know exactly what we feel. Thanks for sharing!
The only correction I could find: should be lying... As you are laying in your grave,
Write on!
I like this article for a variety of reasons, not the least that you learned something that you feel you can help others learn. Maybe that poem not winning a contest was the start of much more than any of us will ever know. Would our hearts have touched on the Internet if you hadn't submitted that poem? Good question to put on that long list of things to ask God, huh?
Thanks for sharing -- have you tried looking in the Writer's Digest for women's devotional magazines or submitting this to your church or your denomination or even a non-denominational publication? You go, girl!
Write on!
You might want to rephrase; awkward statement: I think God had had enough
incomplete sentence: Figuring I didn’t win, I returned to the website to discover the sort of poem beat out mine.
Hi!
Thanks for sharing this poem, because it made me think. I really haven't thought much about mermaids, just that they have tails and live in the water. It is sad to remember how much time religion (especially Christianity) spends on beating down beliefs held by others.
What has happened as a result is that many of us who believe in magical wondrous beasts find it hard to believe in a wonderful beautiful heaven filled with the ones who condemn magic. What were they thinking? I think God's gonna want to know that...
Write on! (BTW, I do Reiki too, but the angels taught me the most about it )
Hi!
What fun! This is a really cute little ditty! Quite an image, dancing in the kitchen with him only wearing an apron around his middle. Hee Hee!
Thanks for sharing this grin with all of us, especially the ones of us that can't dance. We can remember that it doesn't matter whether you are great at something, it's the enjoyment that counts!
Write on!
Hi!
Yes! Very cool poem. I am glad you won the day's award, because this is a neat little collection of stop and think about it images and creative thoughts. I am glad I stopped by.
The flow you produced with the structure was interesting. It made me stop and focus on each group of words, but move on quickly, since there were so few syllables per line!
Write on!
Hey, I like this poem!
You know, as a child, I often wondered about things that happened behind closed doors like refrigerators and closets. I still believe that when you turn on the light all the toys stop playing. Toys have to be playful, they just have to be!
This is a really awesome use of the imagination and I can just see how it came almost fully formed from a comment about milk half drunk in the refrigerator.
Thanks for the look inside your fridge!
Write on!
Hi!
Oh, yes, I remember the coming of this lady! I am in the Houston area and she caused quite a ruckus.
This is a well-designed poem, even if it is a take off on I, Claudius! She was a big lady with a lot of hot air and so was her sister Rita!
Thanks for sharing your talents with us.
Comment: close to the top have rode the waves
I think you a change to have ridden will still get the impact (oops, no pun intended -- well maybe it was, I left it in!). Oh, but then I suppose it has to be I come on the next line. Ignore me, if you wish! Ha!
Hee Hee Hee!
Hi, thanks for sharing this with us! I just love it! I have been reviewing a bunch lately -- 3 different days while I had the flu I did 30 or more reviews a day. What's that you say? Rabid? A bit, I suppose.
But I digress. I only meant to tell you that I know how you feel. Sometimes I open a poem or bit of prose or chapters to a book and find I am staring into the abyss. My mind is a blank.
This is hilarious and you had such success with the huge blobs of information that are hurled at you in such a situation.
Hee hee.
Write on!
Hi,
This is a well-written poem. It brings me along from one stanza to the next with the broken gait of a terrified mother. You projected her fear so well that I wanted to skip to the end to see if indeed she had found her boys. Thank you for sharing this emotion with us.
Write On!
Hi!
Very nice! I love the sweet love in this poem.
One of my favorite things is the connecting phrase to the last stanza from the one before. It gives a continuity that cannot be written in words. A real gesture of Making it hold together and become a long, long, joyous life together.
Write on!
Hi again!
Very good story... and that's about the way it goes, huh? Incredible revelations disappear when exposed to the light of day! I find that whenever I have dreamed and felt in the dream that I had the ANSWER and KNEW everything. Then the light comes on and floods out the knowledge.
Yippee!
I made it to your site! This is a well-done poignant story of a sad occasion. All too often, things like this happen and people can't do this very thing -- take the child to meet the one who sends them love from the next world.
This is a poem of longing. It is always an adventure to visit places foreign to us, but sometimes those places become home. Leaving tears at our hearts.
Your writing is so colorful, reminding me of the Market Square in San Antonio, Texas and the beautiful dancers in their dramatic costumes, whirling to the sound of flamenco guitarists!
Thanks!
Write on!
Hee Hee!
I love this. It is a really angelic kind of writing. I mean it!
I have been hanging out with angels for a long time and I know that they just love to see God do cool stuff. He is the ultimate Humorist and the penultimate Lover. He cares. Our love is just a copy of what God IS!
Write on!
Well done, lady! I love the way you bring out the thoughts in this guy's head and the conflict between the way he thinks and the events he sees around him. He can go right on ahead denying everything he sees, but no one can say that he was not exposed to the truth.
Hi!
Irish eyes... smiling, dancing, laughing! I love this poem, packed as it is with memories and images. Thanks for sharing it with us. It is well written and flows so beautifully in the reading, like an Irish melody, as a matter of fact. As they say, everybody's Irish on St. Paddy's Day. I have a wee bit of Irish in me, as well!
Write on!
Hi!
Very well done. This is actually a good poem of the lover to the beloved on any level. It could even be a poem to a non-believer from God.
This is my favorite line and it happens to be the first: Is it only me who cares enough to see
The hidden undertow of the swelling tide?
Remarkable imagery there!
Write on!
Hi again, I just read the old first chapter and then came over here... Well, it is a little bizarre for my taste, but you are a good writer, I have to admit.
Correction to 'where': experiences as a politician was were it came from
to 'attractive': she was quite attraction/i}
Hi!
Stopped by to read your book, found this partial chapter. This is well done, but doesn't really get me very far into the story. The sentences are a little repetitive, but that may be you bringing me to the place where the speaker is -- smack dab in the middle of his boredom.
Write on!
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