It was weird but interesting. You are very talented and make the storie come alive as the reader reads it. You need to add some more to though you left me hanging at the end. I know you said its the beging of a short story but can you kill my suspence and tell me what happens to her. Why did they for get who Lily was?
I love the beat this is the Fifth time i listened to and i stil love it. The gatair rocks. Who ever singing is pretty good and over all i liked the song. Wait scratch that the sixth time i liistened to it. You just need to do something to the singing he dosen't very much when he sings. i think it works well for this song but you might want to watch that if you do any more songs.
It was really good. Ilight say that to everyones storys or what ever i read but i could see or well feel what you meam in your wordsbut umm When i go there i just lie down on the floor or on my bed an slip away. isn't that an suppost to be an and.