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114 Public Reviews Given
114 Total Reviews Given
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51
51
Review by Valenchia
Rated: E | (3.5)
I had to laugh at the "obnoxious green vegetables." Aren't all green vegetables "obnoxious?"

I was a little confused about the sharing of the food. You wrote "Clara had twice as much food as I did! It would take me a week to eat what she had." and then she took pity on him and gave him half of hers. He was already poking at his food, hoping it would disappear. How is Clara giving half of her food to him (we don't know his name) helping him?

The rest of the story was a little choppy and confusing. I wished the characters had been more fleshed out and personal; I didn't get to know them and the story line bounced from one scenario to another without many descriptors or explanations.

I encourage you to keep writing, as you have the beginnings of a good writer. The story is there; I would like to see more detail.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
52
52
Review of Speechless  
Review by Valenchia
Rated: E | (4.5)
I feel much emotion in this poem. It's difficult to verbally express love from the heart and so we resort to writing out our feelings to be read by our beloved. When the object of our love is in close proximity, those feelings get locked inside. We cannot speak. Our hearts pound. Our hands get clammy. How can we expect to breathlessly whisper "I love you" when we can barely breath? And so we pen the words our hearts are screaming.

I hope you keep writing. This is a beautiful expression of love.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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