I found this poem slightly repetitive in a unenjoyable way, but I enjoyed the underlying story and the message. You have successfully created a character without actually naming or introducing them.
This short piece would definitely make a much better longer story. That is my only thought of how to improve it. Expanding on these nonexistant characters, along with clarifying the identity of the existing character, would definitely keep me intrigued and interested.
I really love the concept of this short piece. Really insightful, and kind of slightly creepy to think that one person could become so deranged and not realize it. I know that this does happen but to be put so beautifully is a concept all on it's own.
Hahahaha! Sorry. I'm laughing so hard. Started off like a victorian romance or Jane Austen type, then the mention of AIM! Oh my God, I love this piece. Completely. And so true in today's society. You have talent. Keep it up!
{Check out my statics if you have a chance?} Thanks.
Just to get this out there first: I am found to be newly in love with this piece. It says enough when a man can have feelings so great and actually express them, but when theey can write as well? And with such powerful words? Keep writing. Trust me - the world of romance needs you and this dark/romance intrigue.
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