*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Get it for
Apple iOS.
Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/weepingdusk
Review Requests: OFF
10 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of wormwood.  
Review by Kashtien James
Rated: E | (4.5)
This piece was an absolute exceptional read! Firstly, thank you for sharing.

I especially loved the last two lines:
but if she knew how matter transforms itself
she'd know she changed the atmosphere forever.

They are two very powerful lines, to flow nicely with a powerful poem.

My only suggestion would be to capitalize the first letter of every line. It would make the piece much cleaner looking.

Keep writing!
2
2
Review of Bicycle Lady  
Review by Kashtien James
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found this poem slightly repetitive in a unenjoyable way, but I enjoyed the underlying story and the message. You have successfully created a character without actually naming or introducing them.

This short piece would definitely make a much better longer story. That is my only thought of how to improve it. Expanding on these nonexistant characters, along with clarifying the identity of the existing character, would definitely keep me intrigued and interested.
3
3
Review of Hope to fly  
Review by Kashtien James
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really love the concept of this short piece. Really insightful, and kind of slightly creepy to think that one person could become so deranged and not realize it. I know that this does happen but to be put so beautifully is a concept all on it's own.

{Read something of mine if you get a chance? :D}
4
4
Review of Meeting Him  
Review by Kashtien James
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hahahaha! Sorry. I'm laughing so hard. Started off like a victorian romance or Jane Austen type, then the mention of AIM! Oh my God, I love this piece. Completely. And so true in today's society. You have talent. Keep it up!

{Check out my statics if you have a chance?} Thanks.
5
5
Review by Kashtien James
Rated: E | (5.0)
Just to get this out there first: I am found to be newly in love with this piece. It says enough when a man can have feelings so great and actually express them, but when theey can write as well? And with such powerful words? Keep writing. Trust me - the world of romance needs you and this dark/romance intrigue.
6
6
Review of Almost Eighteen  
Review by Kashtien James
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Two thumbs up! I really like this piece. Interesting how it came out of a fight with your father. LOL Some things are blessings in disguise, I guess.

{Check out my static pieces if you hve a chnace. :D Thanks!}
7
7
Review of Jumping  
Review by Kashtien James
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Interesting perspective... Great use of adjectives. Bravo!
7 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/weepingdusk