A review for "The Iron Bank of Braavos" [13+] "Game of Thrones"
Hi Wordsmitty ✍️ ,
My name is WakeUpAndLive️~🚬🚭2024 , I am one of the sly foxes.
Title
Nice title and the sub-line clarifies its form. Since I am not familiar with the original nursery rhyme I had to look it up.
Mary had a little lamb,
Little lamb, little lamb,
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went,
Mary went, Mary went,
Everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go
It followed her to school one day
School one day, school one day
It followed her to school one day
Which was against the rules.
It made the children laugh and play,
Laugh and play, laugh and play,
It made the children laugh and play
To see a lamb at school
And so the teacher turned it out,
Turned it out, turned it out,
And so the teacher turned it out,
But still it lingered near
And waited patiently about,
Patiently about, patiently about,
And waited patiently about
Till Mary did appear
"Why does the lamb love Mary so?"
Love Mary so? Love Mary so?
"Why does the lamb love Mary so?"
The eager children cry
"Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know."
Loves the lamb, you know, loves the lamb, you know
"Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know."
The teacher did reply
First Impression
Nice, funny, and educational version on the first lines of an old nursery rhyme. I had to read it several times to pick up the details.
What needs your attention
I didn't find any grammar or spelling errors.
What part I liked best
The names and the questions asked in this poem. It was funny to rehearse them.
Overall impression
Answers: Mary had 9 animals to look after: a little lamb with no name, a goat Joe, cow Patrice, duck Fred, rooster Red, turkey Hank, pig Frank, dog Jack, and cat Fanny.
3 walked on two.
9 had just paws.
4 were big
5 were small
(or according to the title: 9 were small, calling them littles?)
1 with claws
A funny poem with a strong educational component, it was great to count and name the animals and to answer the questions in this poem.
Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.
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