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131 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall impression: very short piece, could be longer


Positive points: You set your scene nicely, and mentioned things that most would not.


Suggestions for improvement: The piece could be flushed out more, expanded to include more of the scene being witnessed.




Please feel free to visit my own portfolio. All honest feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

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2
2
Review by Rose
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall impression: Nicely done


Positive points: Not a style that's easy to work with, so congratulations on tackeling it and succeeding with it as well. Nice description in the scene and beautiful message to the piece as well.


Suggestions for improvement: My own pet-peeve, I'd like to see some more punctuation in your piece to make it flow a little bit smoother, but aside from that, it's a very nicely done piece.




Please feel free to visit my own portfolio. All honest feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

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3
3
Review by Rose
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Overall impression: I can see the scene clearly, extremely well written piece.


Positive points: Well written piece that, again, I could relate to and feel as though I were sitting there with them as the scene unfolded. I loved the part of how they would keep the Cherokee traditions alive, and found myself wishing I knew more of my people's traditions than I do. I thank you for sharing this work with the community.




Please feel free to visit my own portfolio. All honest feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

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4
4
Review by Rose
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Overall impression: Another beautifully touching piece


Positive points: You touched my heart and spirit with this piece and reminded me of a story I've been told since I was a young child. Momma used to always say, watch for the white buffalo. So far I've heardof only a few being born, but each time I hear of this news, it touches my soul anew. Thank you for this walk down memory lane, and may the Great Spirit be with you.





Please feel free to visit my own portfolio. All honest feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

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5
5
Review by Rose
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Overall impression: Such a touching piece. Well written, and very much a piece that amde me want to look over others in this folder as well.


Positive points: You painted a picture quite easily of a couple willing to give up everything just to be together. A strong woman who stood up for herself even though she paid quite a price to do so in the beginning.


Suggestions for improvement: "Loneliness was taking it's toll on her."
The contraction there is not needed. The line should read 'Lonliness was taking its toll on her.' As you have it written it menas that lonliness was was taking it is/it has toll on her. :)




Please feel free to visit my own portfolio. All honest feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

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6
6
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall impression:very pretty piece


Positive points:Loved the picture you used to accompany your piece, nice touch there. Very pretty piece that had me smiling throughout the entire piece. Good descriptions without being overly wordy.


Suggestions for improvement:"Glowing beams against blackness.." This line faulters a bit with the rest of the piece and doesn't quite keep the same relaxed rythem and flow to it that the piece as a whole held before it.




Please feel free to visit my own portfolio. All honest feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

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7
7
Review of A Moment In Time  
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Overall impression:wow


Positive points: Been there a few times myself, so this piece brought back some wonderful memories for me, thank you. You conveyed the scene so well that I could almost smell the rain and see the animals scurrying about, it was gorgeous.


Suggestions for improvement: beautiful piece and I would not change anything about it.




Thank you for sharing this piece with the WDC community. Please feel free to visit my own portfolio. All honest feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

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8
8
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Overall impression:Interesting piece to read, made me think.


Positive points:You brought out the typical thoughts and sites that one associates with Vegas and then put a twist on it, I liked that. If someone's thinking of visiting Vegas you just gave them a few ideas of what to do there.


Suggestions for improvement: One note of clarification, prostitution is NOT legal in Vegas, that is a misconception. It happens yes, but it is not legal so you might want to change that a bit in the piece.




Please feel free to visit my own portfolio. All honest feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

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9
9
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Overall impression: Confusing piece


Positive points:It's a nice mix of topics.


Suggestions for improvement:The piece needs to be polished, you do not give your reader a clear picture of what message you're trying to convey. It just leaves 'em hanging there in a chasm at the end of the piece.
One other bit of confusion for me personally, if God is important enough to you for you to mention in the piece, why would you then have Him as the one topic you say you will speak no more of after receiving Him?

I do encourage you to keep writing though and see what other pieces the future holds for you.




Please feel free to visit my own portfolio. All honest feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

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10
10
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Overall impression: *shudders* Wow...just..very dark piece.


Positive points: Excellent descriptions during the entire piece. I felt his anger, his frustration, her confusion and sorrow, all quite deeply. You set the scene and were able to hold the reader's attention and keep them in the heart of that scene for the entire piece. Such a heinous scene, but yet in the midst of that tragedy you see that at one time there was the potential for great beauty as well.





Please feel free to visit my own portfolio. All honest feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

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11
11
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Overall impression:Very pretty piece


Positive points: I loved how you desribed her makeup and how she kept clinging to the possibility of a brighter future. I also liked that you mentioned how she came to be a Geisha, that gave us some insight into her as well as her family. I also liked that you ended on a note of hope and encouragement.


Suggestions for improvement: "her eyes are like shiny stars." I would suggest shining, instead of shiny. That line just seems a bit clipped when taken witht he rest of the verse.




Please feel free to visit my own portfolio. All honest feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

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12
12
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Welcome to WDC and I encourage you to keep on writing in the future.

Overall impression: A piece many of your reader's can relate to quite easily.


Positive points:Easy to read, conveys the expected idea from the description very well. Nice rythem to the piece from one verse to the next.


Suggestions for improvement:Most of the poem is in past tense, yet the use of the word 'can' makes the beginnings of the lines sound present tense, so I would suggest changing 'can' to 'could' in the piece.




Please feel free to visit my own portfolio. All honest feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

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13
13
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Overall impression:Very emotional piece.


Positive points: Good description of the emotions throughout the piece. A few twists in it as well that I wasn't expecting.


Suggestions for improvement: Minor spelling errors such as Im should be I'm. Other than that, very interesting piece and I thank you for sharing it with the WDC community.


Welcome to WDC and I encourge you to keep on writing in the future as well.



Please feel free to visit my own portfolio. All honest feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

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14
14
Review of The Duplicates  
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall impression: Interesting story, and well told.


Positive points: Very well told story, makes you think of what could happen if you're not careful who you meet up with. Also makes you wonder how well you know other people.


Suggestions for improvement: A few typo mistakes but nothing major. (Anna was staring a mirror copy of herself.) I believe you left out the word 'at' in this sentence.




Please feel free to visit my own portfolio. All honest feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

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15
15
Review of Phantom's Lullaby  
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Overall impression: Nice try, but the piece needs polished.


Positive points: You set a scene nicely and I can see the Phantom calling to his lover.


Suggestions for improvement: Several spelling mistakes, and the piece does not flow smoothly at all. Several times a coma could be left out to make it easier to read certain verses. Last line of the piece 'hear' should be 'here' instead. As written you're speaking of hearing a sound, not of being here in a place. I would suggest reading over the piece a few times, very carefully so it can be polished to its full potential.


Welcome to WDC, and I truely encourage you to continue writing in the future.


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16
16
Review of Because...  
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Overall impression:Powerful poem


Positive points:Easily read and conveyed the expected message well.


Suggestions for improvement:The only clue we as a reader have about who the piece is referring to, is in the description. Nowhere in the piece itself does it mention the relationship between the characters.



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17
17
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Overall impression: Such a moving and emotional piece!


Positive points: Easily flowed from one part of life to the next in the verses, giving me enough information to make me want to continue reading. You took me down memory lane and left me in tears as I thought of the similar memories and blessings in my own life. Thank you for sharing this piece with the WDC community and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.




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18
18
Review of The Promise  
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Overall impression: Wow. Very powerful piece.


Positive points: Nice rythem throughout the entire poem, very easy to read. Was not expecting the ending, but that made it even more powerful to me personally. You drew the reader in from the description and held me to the very end of the piece. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece with the WDC community. It was a nice reminder that a promise should not be handed out lightly.


Suggestions for improvement:



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19
19
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Overall impression: Wow. Very powerful and rivoting piece. I want to read more of this young man's story!


Positive points: Very gripping scene. I am drawn into it fromt he first line and not let go until the end. I want to know more about each of the characters mentioned. You have a great foundation laid out here and I'm already interested in the full novel. If the rest of the story is this intense and engaging, then your book is certain to be a real page-turner when it's published.


Suggestions for improvement: "At first Zahilla hardly noticed it but not.." Not should be now :)



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20
20
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall impression: Very pretty piece, I enjoyed reading it.


Positive points: You take your reader inside the scene and slip us right beside Andrew. A nice reminder of the power of just caring for someone, even if we never get to see the full results of what our care has brought about.


Suggestions for improvement: I would like to know more about the other character in the piece. Who was she, why was she there each day? Was she a nurse, another patient perhaps?



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21
21
Review of One and the Same  
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Overall impression: It makes the reader stop and think a moment, very deep piece.


Positive points: It takes reading over a couple times before you get the full depth of the piece as a whole. Transitions between verses were nicely measured to make you pause and take stock of what you'd just read.


I encourage you to keep writing, and thank you for sharing this piece with the rest of the WDC community. I would love to know how you decided to write this piece, what was your inspiration for the style you chose?



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22
22
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Overall impression: Very emotional and heart-wrenching piece.


Positive points: One that I'm sure everyone can relate to in some way, knowing what it's like to have to say goodbye to one we love, if even for a few days. You draw the reader in from the title itself, tugging at their heart during the entire piece.


Suggestions for improvement: I gave the piece a full 5 star rating.



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23
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Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Life is beautiful, fragile, and looks can certainly be deceiving. One suggestion: "Thanks to everyone.." As written you're thanking people. I would suggest changing so that your line says 'thanks to every one' so that it's clear you're being thankful for each individual thorn. Welcome to WDC and I encourage you to keep on writing more in the future.

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Review of Moments  
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I've been guilty of living my life like this on many occasions so I could relate to the piece quite well. One suggestion: Last line I would begin with "You're" the contraction for You are. Other than that, it's a nice snapshot into a moment in time. Welcome to WDC and I encourage you to keep writing more in the future.
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Review of Waltz  
Review by Rose
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (1.5)
You have a nice foundation here that could be polished into a full poem. As the piece stands now, it's just a jumble of words. I would like to welcome you to WDC though and encourage to take this piece and truly flush it out into a full and smooth piece of writing.
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