|Hello, Druid (druid...if you desire)
This is my personal take on your story and offer it as a fairly avid-reader, and a student in training in the fine are of writing.
First, I find myself drawn in by the immediacy of the initial action. I want to know more, so that's a good hook at the beginning.
I feel it flows, conversationally quite nicely. I fell some of the paragraphs could be broken up into more manageable sizes, but nothing too troubling.
I feel a connection to the longing, and pain Ru, feels. It seems genuine. It is clear by your writing, an intense relationship existed, and they both want it renewed, and I want to see it renewed.
If you are desiring more of a grammatical review, I'll gladly go though it more if you'd like but have caught this simple one.
YOUR LINE: Funny that I didn't need to be told, that I still remembered your voice so well.
RE-WRITE Funny,(comma) that (<-- in italics to show emphasis) I didn't need to be told. That (<--in italics to show emphasis) I still remembered - your voice, I could never forget.
-------> Funny, that I didn't need to be told. That, I still remembered - your voice, I could never forget.
Also, if you really desire a solid, line by line review, there are some great reviewers that cost but they do a THOROUGH job depending on who you hire.
Good story. Proofread and edit, and continue to see unbiased reviews, then shop that sucker around and get it published.