What do those critters get up to? (11-07-11 Writer's Cramp entry).
|A Dog's Tale
"Okay, Humphrey, ya got food and water, and the TV's on, so I'm outta here. You behave now, y'hear? Later."
What?! Behave?! What am I, a year-old pup or something? I'll bet he can't even remember the last time I chewed anything expensive.
Well, let's get the bad news out of the way and check on the food situation. I knew it - liver again! That human must think my nose is just a wet bump at the end of my face, if he thinks I can't tell there are leftover burgers and brats in the big white box! Well, we'll just see about them later on.
Okay, Humphrey: three guesses on what's on the picture box, first two don't count. Yep - Animal Planet! Excellent! He's always crying about how much his new giant box cost and how there's nothing good to watch. Shows what he knows. Let's see, now: big cats, big cats, more big cats; okay, I guess I can get a good nap in. Whoa! Snakes and crocodiles! I'm sure glad they're inside that big box, 'cause -
Hey, what happened? The box went all dark, and so did that tall light in the corner. I don't hear the white box humming, either. May as well take that nap now.
* * *
Ahhhh, now that's a stretch. Great nap, Humphrey! Hmmm, still no picture - what's a dog to do? Eat, that's what! Okay, right past that bowl of slop even a human wouldn't touch. Now then, how did this work last time? Right! Up on the hind legs, front paws on the box, jaws on the shiny thing, tug hard and...yes! Now then, where are they? Ah, ha! He didn't even wrap them up in that shiny, crinkly stuff--like that would matter--just left 'em on his plate. Well, they're lunch now!
* * *
Ahhhh! Nothing like an after-lunch nap to perk a dog up. Now then, what about the box? Hmmm, still dark. Well, I've gotta do something! He can't expect me to just lie around and drool all day. Wait a minute! What's that under the big sitting thing? A shoe! He's got lots of those! Surely he can spare one for his best pal! Oh, yeah; this is great! Nice and chewy, just how I like 'em.
Mmm, boy, was that good! Maybe there's another one--