Touched

Child sexual abuse revisited as an adult survivor

"TOUCHED"

I tremble
I sweat
I cry
remembering
the pain
the act
the betrayal

So long since that nightmare
I relive when stressed
but something I don't dare
and that is forget

Pain passes
as do tears
but memory
lives as does fear

No witness but he and me to that act
no evidence except my memory
to that fact
He claims I am crazy and a liar
being malicious and a selfish crier

I tremble
I sweat
I cry
remembering
the pain
the act
the betrayal

I was a child
I'm a woman now
He is my father
But he's not touched me
for a long while
I've not let him
I ran away

We lost track so long ago
we don't speak
Is he even still alive?
I do not know
But this pain I live everyday
He still touches me from so far away.

I tremble
I sweat
I cry
remembering
the pain
the act
the betrayal

Originally written: 8 July 2001

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