RUDOLPH WHO?

A Christmas story about Rudolph the "Red Nosed Reindeer"

RUDOLPH WHO?

“One day I hope to save Christmas, just like Rudolph.”

I was finally in training to be a real Santa’s reindeer.

“New here, aren’t you kid?” said Blue Bell, my reindeer mentor. “Well, I guess you have to find out sooner or later.”

We started back to the stables, and I learned the real story.

“Rudolph wasn’t scheduled to fly that night. In fact, Rudolph was never scheduled for night runs……..or day runs either. The only thing Rudolph was good for was riding on the truck in the Thanksgiving Day Parade.”

“You’re just jealous because of his nose!”

Blue Bell didn’t flinch. “I don’t want to pop your bubble, but somebody’s got to. That Christmas Eve was indeed so foggy that we were grounded.”

“I know. That’s where Rudolph‘s nose comes in. And what about Santa’s magic?”

Blue Bell just sighed. “Kid, Santa’s magic works real good for making lists, but when it comes to the flying, he’s just an overweight old geezer.”

“What did happen?”

“We had a meeting,” said Blue Bell. “I told Santa we couldn’t fly. At least that’s what we decided to say at first.”

“At first?” I asked. “But you did fly, thanks to Rudolph.”

“We’ll get to that,” said Blue Bell. “Santa was steamed. He thought we wouldn’t fly, so he told us he’d find somebody who could. He didn’t need to do that, but before we could stop him he stormed out. Next Santa showed up with “you know who.”

“If you couldn’t fly, how could Rudolph? Wasn’t it because of his big red nose?”

“Kid,” asked Blue Bell, “back home, did you know any reindeer with big red noses?”

“Well, there was Old Jeb.”

“Old Jeb,” said Blue Bell. “Was he good at flying in bad weather?”

“Heck no!” I said.

“Why not” asked Blue Bell.

“Well, he kind of liked to.... ”

“Liked to what, Kid?”

There was no nice way to say it.

“He drank too much,” I blurted out.

“So Old Jeb’s red nose was from hitting the booze,” said Blue Bell. “How do you think Rudolph got his big red nose?”

“Rudolph? No way!”

“Oh Rudolph was glowing that night. He partied with Santa all afternoon.”

“What! Santa’s a boozer too!”

“You better believe it,” said Blue Bell. “Why do you think Rudolph keeps his job? He’s Santa’s number one drinking buddy.”

“Alright,” I said. “Make me believe. How did you get around that night if it wasn’t because of Rudolph?”

“Kid, we fly with radar just like everybody else. The Federal Aviation Administration would never let us off the ground without it. By the by, that’s our little secret. Don’t tell Santa. It helps with job security. We would have flown that night one way or the other, but we had to fuss to keep up appearances.”

“Anything else I should know?”

‘“Well, the reason Rudolph doesn’t join in any reindeer games……he cheats. Don't play cards with him”