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Rated: 18+ · Assignment · Comedy · #2214790
A song for the reformed smoker.
E.Pig and Pepper

2."Achoo!" - Pick from your choice of the most simple/basic songs ever written and give it a little more 'spice': “Happy Birthday”, “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”, “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”, etc. (be mindful of your rating!)


I wanted to do something a bit more complex than the simple songs suggested. My choice fell on an awful little ditty by Herman’s Hermits (remember them?) that cries out for a bit of satire. These are the portions of the song I chose to reveal. There is more but it’s essentially just a repeat so I didn’t bother including it.

No Milk Today

No milk today, my love has gone away
The bottle stands forlorn, a symbol of the dawn
No milk today, it seems a common sight
But people passing by don't know the reason why

How could they know just what this message means?
The end of my hopes, the end of all my dreams
How could they know the palace there had been
Behind the door where my love reigned as queen?

No milk today, it wasn't always so
The company was gay, we'd turn night into day

This is what I did with it (I should mention that I gave up smoking years ago):

No Cigs Today

No cigs today, my money’s gone away
The packet stands forlorn, emptied and all torn.
No cigs today, this is my common blight
But people passing by don't care and don’t know why

How could they know what anguish this all means?
Addiction grips me fast and squeezes out my screams
How could they know the ruin I have been
Behind this door where air was never clean?

No cigs today, it wasn't always so
My company was smoke and everything a joke

Once again, there seems little point in stating a word count.
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